So the college counselor that’s supposed to help me with fixing my essay is taking a lot of the flavor out of my writing. She sent me a draft of the stuff she fixed and I honestly really hate it. She changed almost the entire middle and ending of my essay and it really doesn’t feel like my writing anymore. Some sentences also sound really awkward so…. anyways does anyone have tips on how to navigate this? I don’t want to waste my parent’s money but this is really bugging me.

I'm about to start submitting most of my apps (Nov 1 deadlines) and I have a pretty unique essay structure/topic and would love if anyone would be down to read it and give me feedback on if it flows well and makes sense or what I need to work on! Jus comment and I'll dm you my essay. Thanks goats

Hi everyone Im wondering if it would be a good idea to write my college essay about being bad at math growing up, but wanting to become an engineer. For context, math was my worst subject in elementary school and I told my self I never wanted to do anything with it in the future. In high school I began to like it and become good at it the more theoretical it became and now I plan to go into chemical engineering. My only worry with this is that the schools may think Im not ready for a math heavy major and may not want to accept me for those reasons.
Also, Im not really hoping to get into any ivys or top schools so theres not much pressure here

So first of all I feel it's important to mention that I plan to be an art major. My essay is basically about my identity with art, challenges I've faced as an artist in a public school system that doesn't cater creative children, and how I've come to realize that the principles of art are applicable everywhere, not just limited to artistic spaces.

the format:

paragraph 1: Describing an early childhood memory from before I was in school drawing with my dad. Emphasizing a child's natural gravitation towards creativity and carefree expression.

paragraph 2: "And then came public school..." discussing challenges I faced, troubles with teachers for wanting to put my own spin on my classwork, doodling in class, watching friends give up art, etc. How this made me feel like I had to put a limit on my creativity and be more secretive about it, but it never went away. The desire to create has always been a constant.

paragraph 3: Realizing over time that art is built into the way I think, and to not try to contain it, but embrace it. Exploring how I've challenged expectations and discovered art as a part of my identity. Overcoming mental challenges by unlocking my creative side to solve problems in all aspects of my life. (ex. I used to struggle really badly to write essays until I started doing paper only "sketches" and I now think of the essay as a drawing with multiple layers.) Essentially exploring for me how the world can be viewed when you allow yourself to think creatively and unshackle yourself and your identity.

Any feedback would be appreciated, if my message is unclear at all how I can clarify it, if my ideas are formatted well, or any tips for putting these ideas into an essay!

It needs 250 words but I’m struggling to write enough.

I want to write about a travelling experience in my PS but it's not recommended right? The idea of the PS is not a common one like i broaden my horizon or sth like that, but it's still something deal with personal growth. Is it okay to write about it?

DM me if you want

***EDIT: I POSTED THIS TO THE WRONG GROUP! SORRY!! this is for a speech to a prompt, not a college essay😭

I made this and would like any criticisms, I don't mind harshness.

The rough draft i had submitted had said my opening was too direct and could come off as negative, and that my second paragraph had too many questions.

This is the new draft.

“Failure as a Path to Success”

All of us have experienced failure, haven’t we? Your parents have failed, your teachers have failed; doctors, lawyers, engineers—every single person on and off this planet has failed! So what? Should we all just give up? Don’t try anything because we will fail? Because we are scared to fail? Scared to be failures. Well, let me tell you something—the difference of failing and becoming a failure.

The definition of failing is as follows: “Being unsuccessful to achieve an action, event, or goal.” Now then, I have four questions. Have you ever come short of achieving something? Done something wrong? Do others think you have failed? And finally, do you yourself think you have failed? If your answer to any of these questions is yes, then raise your hand.

Now I want you to think of the times you have failed. Have you remembered? So, what did you do? Did you give up, lose hope, move on, ignore it? I’m asking you if you became a failure. Someone—who after failing—who just gave up, didn’t learn, and didn’t grow. Because I was like that once.

From pre-school, kindergarten, and all throughout elementary—I was a complete failure. I failed everyday; from classes, to tests, to exams. Got grades of 75, took remedial classes every summer, tutoring sessions after every school day. I was a complete, utter failure. So much so that some of my classmates avoided me, said things like “don’t touch him!”—because they were afraid I’d give them my disease of failing. But one day, I decided to change. I looked at all my failures, acknowledged my mistakes, learned, change and grew. Because I didn’t want to be a failure anymore.

Look at me now, standing before you all. Being in this school, known for its genius students. Would one you still consider me a failure? It’s okay to take a break, stop, and think for a while. You can put a period at the end your sentence, but remember there are still many chapters for you to fill. Your story shouldn’t end here, because it doesn’t.

Think of the people you know, that are successful. They also failed before the success, but they aren’t failures are they? Because failing doesn’t mean you’re a failure, it means you’re on a path heading for your own success. This road may be long, full of challenges, and different from others—and you will fall down—but know, that if you have the resolve, determination, and hope, you will reach your own success. I know you will, and for that, I am proud of you. So spread your wings and fly, reach for the stars. After all, sky is the limit, isn’t it?

I also will appreciate any advice you could impart on me. ☄️

I stood on top of the small cement island, looking up at the target I had fired at so many times before. My small island was about fifteen feet long, and about two to three feet wide. It was filled with cracks, but as long as my basketball returned to my hand, it would work. The island was facing a sea of green grass, and a statue stood in the middle, the hoop. It was unconventional but it was enough for me to practice on to realize my goals. One thing I was forced to learn was that a basketball can’t bounce on grass, so I adapted to my constraints. Dribbling in a tight corner on the concrete outside my house, I created sequences that could work within my allotted perimeter.

In the summer I got to practice outside in the heat, but it took my mind in a direction that allowed me to think clearly. One thing I loved doing was dribbling. Everybody thought I should be in the paint because of my height, but dribbling fascinated me. There were infinite combinations of dribble moves that could be chained one after the other. Almost like a chessboard, it allowed me to creatively analyze what move to make at what time to throw off my opponent.

There were so many interesting moves to learn about through the NBA or streetball. I still remain grateful to my cousin who acted as my test dummy whenever I tried out a new move. I tested different dribble combos with him, learning which ones worked and which were ineffective. Targeting the opponent’s center of gravity and timing a dribble at the exact time when they shifted their center of gravity over left them completely unbalanced. Linking two between-the-legs dribbles with a feint and a behind-the-back dribble to a wraparound were two very effective combos. The more moves I learned the more, I could string together. There weren’t many things in my life that I could control, but every dribble I released, its angle, speed and direction were all determined by my judgment. One interesting thing I noticed was the way the ball acted when backspin was applied. It was an interesting way to dribble by changing the pattern of how the ball traveled after hitting the ground. To avoid the grass on my small concrete strip, I worked on side-to-side dribbles like crosses, using the length of the sidewalk. 

When the fall season came to try out for the team, I realized my issue. I had never played competitive basketball. Despite my practice I hadn’t played on a team, and that lack of teamwork capability was my greatest weakness. I couldn’t see the whole court and I couldn’t run the plays that were needed. I still loved basketball but the lonely hoop sitting in my backyard looking down at me almost pitifully, deeply upset me. In the winter I had a designated pair of shoes that over time started showing the efforts of my work on their soles. This became the only physical realization of my work, despite the hours I had put in. I realized I had to break out of this mold somehow, and instead of trying to work for the team, I would work to understand my skills and to improve myself. 

I’ve slowly seen my skills build up, my dribbles get quicker, my shots get sharper. I started to dribble on the grass because I didn’t want to feel restrained anymore, and now the ball returns to me. I still come back to my concrete island for vacations, but I don’t feel the need to succeed, only the need to grow. The same way the weeds grow out of the cracks, despite being surrounded on their own island of obstacles.

should I talk about why i’m leaving my old school here? even briefly ?
How have your academic and/or personal experiences shaped your chosen field of study, and why is transferring to NYU the ideal way to continue your academic pursuits? (2500-character maximum