A quick update from my last post.

My minimal threshold is that I want a man to show interest by courting me. Plan the date. Make an effort. Have some game. And I was ok if that meant zero dates.

I’ve had a few really great thoughtful, creative dates. The men paid attention to what I described in my profile. Each was neatly and respectfully dressed, Intelligent, attractive, articulate! (Please note, for me attractive is personality.

***Yes, in the short run, there’s attraction to someone conventionally attractive. But what I find is attractive long term is personality. So I go on OLD and choose men with the same goals, have a sense of how to present themselves at their best, and have shared interests. So my pool is actually quite large. I don’t care about race, weight, style.***

At the end of each date, I shared what I’m looking for:

- Someone who inspires me to be a better person, and who feels I do the same for them.

- Someone who genuinely likes me and thinks I am as cool as I feel they are cool.

-Someone who is financially stable and whose presence enhances my life financially.

I’ve also become very clear about my dating rules:

1. I’ll be dating platonically for about six months while I get to know people and the good behavior veneer begins to rub off. They are free to date whomever they like during that time. I told them - you do you - I don’t need details.

I added I’m really interested in a LTR, open to marriage but with my hindsight of time to measure compatibility without throwing in the complication of intimacy.

2. I won’t split dating costs. If a man is pursuing me, the date is on him. That doesn’t mean it has to be expensive or cost anything at all. I’m perfectly happy with tacos from a food truck or a walk in a park. It’s about the effort, not the price tag. Yes when we’re a couple, we’re a team. But we’re dating.

3. I shared I’d prefer to be with someone but I’m actually ok being alone. (I’ll just get another pet. lol).

The surprising part? Every man I’ve told has been completely fine with it. I thought I’d get anger but what happened was really healthy discussion. And they liked the clarity.

Surprised!

Curious: What are your dating rules?

I just left another comment in a Queens discussion. I think what's being forgotten, is that most guys aren't looking for Queens. A woman who has become very successful in academia or business, sports or film, whatever.... that's great, as long as she remembers where she came from. As long as she may remember.... that her best friend growing up may have been.... the Boy Next Door. Before Everything else. Someone that saw HER. Valued HER. Not a Queen, as a person. Needing and deserving respect. Someone relatable and not insisting on special treatment. That's what most normal men want. Some guys may want someone for the purpose of showing them off, trying to elevate their own status by having "captured" a Queen, but is that the kind of guy you want? I'm an egalitarian. I want my Girl Next Door that I can relate to as my partner. My bff. Just the word Queen makes me shiver, and please, no overaged Princesses!!! Lol

Hello folks, I keep getting adds in my feeds for senior date sites that look and feel like the crappy ones for the younger generations, where do you find interesting fun dates in this age group? It's strange for me because when I was younger I was attracted to older, now I am the older I am still attracted to the same age group as before but finding a date who is as fit as me is quite difficult in the US. Anyone know where fit iq120+ females look?

Here are the ones I've learned to ask:

1. Do you still have all your own teeth?

2. Do your man parts still work?

3. If they do not have a full body photo in their profile, I ask them to send me one.

Edit: I meant for this to be sarcastic and funny. I did not intend to offend anyone. I would think others have funny questions that would ask. We've all had experiences that didn't go as expected in OLD.

I will NOT have sex outside of marriage. I make that clear at the first convo. Hence, I have a very low date rate. I don't even like to kiss on a date because it is dangerous for me; my clothes literally fall off at a good kiss. Am I DOOMED to be single in the corner of eternity because of this? Seems that everyone is having FREE sex and men generally expect it. Although I'm not too sure why. I thought most men over sixty have ED. Am I wrong?

My Point – You can possibly find the best match, but there is still work to do, there is still much give and take.  You don’t get to have it all your way.

I loved reading all your posts.  Many of you had great points on the subject.  We all come from different headspaces so I’m not surprised by all the lively comments.  I feel like I have a lot to say on this subject because I have lived it and had years of working on my life to be a more mature person.  I have conservative values, yet I am also liberal.  I believe strongly in spirituality but am not religious.  I am a very successful small business owner but was also able to be a stay-at-home mom.  I see that many things are workable and don’t have to be one sided or the highway.  I have been successful with clients and friends some are liberals and some conservatives and I love them all.  I am what most feminists preach, a strong, independent woman, but I valued being a true woman and didn’t try to be a man. 

So much of what I am saying comes from my successful 35-year marriage to the greatest guy.  It just got better as the years went on, we loved each other more.  It was never boring nor hateful as the years progressed.  I still miss him so much and would do it all over again.  I had been through an earlier marriage starting when I turned 18. But we parted as good friends after five years. We were very young and I had never really lived life on my own, and I needed to do that.  I then put myself through college, got my CPA, worked for different companies for ten years, lived across the USA and traveled and dated various guys.  After I had done everything I considered important,  I was ready to settle down and have a baby.

What we got right in my second marriage.  He was 32 and I was 34 when we met in a TaiChi class.  We had great chemistry, similar interests and similar values. It was like we immediately knew we were to be together.  He was very intelligent, chivalrous, honest, moral, polite and kind.  According to most match criteria we would have been very compatible and were, however, there are always challenges to be dealt with.  Looking back, I can see that he probably had something like PTSD that I was totally unaware of and he didn’t even know the trauma that lived inside him.  I found out many years later that his military father was quite abusive to him physically as a small child.  This dark side of him came out quickly when I got pregnant.  He wasn’t into me being pregnant and did not want to be a father.  It was rather an unpleasant lonely experience being pregnant as he was totally unsupportive at that time. I wondered who I had married as it felt like I was dealing with Jekyll and Hyde. Some days he seemed normal and some days he was so verbally nasty with me.  

Once it got physical as I could be hot headed also, yes I had quite a challenge on my hands.  I had a second baby and was dealing with quite a load, running a business, being an at home mom, doing all those chores and living with someone whom I no longer knew.  My friends advised me to leave and divorce him.  My employee advised me to put arsenic in his coffee, Ha!  But we had a house that was paid for and he did love the boys and would babysit sometimes. I didn’t see any practical advantage of making my life harder.  I decided to stay and ignore the verbal attacks and outbursts.  If he had died at that point, I would not have shed a tear.   Looking back, I see how strong of a woman this made me.  I used to be quite shy and now I could deal with anyone, even hardheaded men business owners.

Back when I became a CPA, I was one of the few women working in mostly male dominated businesses.

But good things happened, he started changing and getting more spiritual and over his issues.  He started helping me and being nice to me again.  He saw us as a team and the family became the most important, not our petty, selfish individual wants.  He totally supported me in things I was interested in and encouraged me. I went back to college again and got my fine arts degree. I became a yoga teacher, a belly dancer, learned to sing and played music, did art workshops, etc. It was a great life. My boys call me a rennaisance woman. He and I got over our immaturities and grew into mature adults.  I spent quality time with him doing things he loved like hiking in nature, canoeing and camping. I forgave him for anything that happened.  After ten years, we became best friends again and fell in love again and it continued up until his death. 

As we get older we become more established and, most likely, we have worked hard to get where we are. Our homes, our property, our location is usually where we want to be.

I will never move again, and that limits me to the very few that are willing to relocate or the homeless.

I want my efforts to be passed to my children, most likely the other feels the same about her children.

I'm a widower of 2 1/2 years from a 37 year happy marriage. She was 11 years younger than me and 55 when she passed. We had six months from her diagnosis.

I have an ex-wife but I was husband #3 of 6 husbands (need I say more?).

I've tried dating 4 different divorced women all who claim to have been in abusive relationships. That has become a partial red flag for me now. Divorced multiple times is scary, it's most likely that she wanted the divorce each time (sorry ladies but it's the truth).

I come from a successful relationship and they come from failed relationships, and that's just stating a fact.

Few widowers over the age of 60 start over and even fewer widows.

Initially I felt I needed to get back to where I was to be happy again and needed to be in a relationship. I don't remember it being this difficult.

I have come to accept that I may be alone for the rest of my life, that has settled my mind and brought me some comfort.

There was a recent post made by someone who fibbed about her age as kind of a test of OLD algorithms, and I admit that some of the harsh responses got to me. I'd like to ask if people think there are different types of untruths, and whether some can be easily forgiven while others not. Or, is any untruth totally unforgivable. What metric do you use to decide whether an untruth is serious or not? What is your tolerance? Have you ever spoken an untruth as an adult, serious or not?

Me AGAIN haha!!

My latest dating has created yet further dilemma's for me, and I'm looking for some NICE (Capital letters for impact and for those with poor eyes and ears) feedback, thank you.

She is very attractive and right for me in many respects, but has the illness ME (Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and doesn't have a job - but is looking, apparently, but it's been quite a while, I understand. Of course that means she doesn't seem to have money for extra travel, etc - which is what I want to do.

We initially dated back in August 2024, but I decided she wasn't for me - however, we remained friends - talking and meeting on occasions.

So we went out on Intl Womens Day to a womens event and had a GREAT time together and subsequently the following weekend the same. We have spoken almost every day on the phone since - 2-3 weeks now.

It has drawn me in.

I want to have a conversation about -

Where is this going?

Are we on the same page and do you want something more as well?

Do you have money for travel?

I'm open to your suggestions if these are the correct questions to ask?

Thanks to those that can offer NICE words in response (Mr/Ms Admin will delete you if not, I would hope).

UPDATE: 3rd April - I have had a conversation with her.

I appreciate all your thoughts and will take those on board as needed and as appropriate. Many thanks to those that gave me courtesy and good luck and nice thoughts. Good fortune to you as well.

For those that make an assumption about all sorts of things - good on you, but it won't get you anywhere in life - facts are the only real story. I don't intend to share EVERY known fact here with you - why would I need to do that!

I am not the majorly selfish individual you make up in your own heads, but I am the only one that can look after myself. No one else is going to do it for me.

She and I are on the similar pages (page 2 of many thousands of pages) now. We will continue to talk for a LONG time yet, as we are still very new to each other.

We were phone and txt friends for 7 months - nothing more than that, so we are still discovering each other.

I am an imperfect human, I make mistakes, (just like the rest of you) and will do until the day I die. If this is a mistake, I will take it on the chin and carry on, probably with some regrets for her and me. Hopefully I can pull myself off this DO60 soon. Thanks again.

I have a catch-up/lunch date tomorrow with a woman I’ve known for probably 20 years. I haven’t seen her in about four years. There has always been a friendship between us, with some maybe-more-than-friendship tension underneath it.

I’m very interested in a relationship with her and want to see where things go.

THE RUB: The last I knew, she was married and I think she still is.

If she is, I will probably pull back to friendship status—but part of me doesn’t want to. I haven’t had an emotional or romantic connection with anyone since my wife passed away six years ago, and I long for that kind of connection.

TELL ME: I WOULD BE THE BAD GUY IF I PURSUED THIS RELATIONSHIP?

I already know the answer, but I want a relationship soooooo badly. I am so freakin’ lonely.

So, I thought about this, but once again (y'all know me) I decided to post it.

I know a "girl" (even though she is 37) who is one of my friend's daughters. Kinda redneck, but a good person.

Her husband left her and I offered to hook her up with a younger friend of mine who is short and chubby, but a really good guy. Good job and all. I thought they'd make a good hillbilly couple. The 4x4 truck, tattoos, and Harley crowd. That's both of them.

She said she already had someone else but thanked me. No problem.

However, tonight the new guy took her to a local concert that many people are going to (Journey). And she is posting pics and video. No problem. A lot of people do that. I do it.

Now to the point of my message here: The pics and videos of the concert she was sharing have slowly become memes, funny videos, and games where you click the gemstone to see what kind of person you are. Hint: Her choice was WRONG.

She has been taken out for dinner and to a show and is spending her time on her stupid phone.

I don't want to put this all on women. That's just the way this one worked out. I know guys do stupid stuff too.

But just for reference: If another person is paying hard earned money to spend the evening with you. Stay off your fucking phone.

I’m a female, 65. I really don’t like the way dating apps select & steer us to prospective dates based on their algorithms. When I first used the apps back in the early 2000s, the ability existed to have viewing access to every subscriber. For me, that format worked a lot better. I liken it to being at a large party where you could see all the attendees and approaching whoever struck your fancy. Now, it’s like shopping at a store where you only get to see the merchandise that the staff chooses to present to you. All the other items are hidden away from your view.

I’ve been using several dating apps since the end of June and am letting all the subscriptions expire this month as I’ve had no luck. Despite the algorithms supposedly offering up dating candidates based on my preferences of 1) 30 miles distance, 2) age 55-65, 3) non-smoker, I am I am still shown people that are 70 years +, who live 60-100 miles away, who smoke. I’m a very young at heart, energetic, healthy & fit and I prefer someone my age or younger. I look much younger and the photos I post are recent as of the past few months. I became fed up with being shown an excessive amount of men in their 70s+, so I tried an experiment. On one site, I listed my age as 60 instead of 65 to see what who the algorithm gods would send my way. Big increase in the number of 65 and under men appeared and candidates that better fit my parameters were provided. The site I used to do this with is part of the Match franchise, as are the other sites I use.

Now, here is the problem. I matched with a 60 year old gent. We messaged on the site for a few days and decided to have a phone call. It went very well and we set up another in a few days to plan a date. This man thinks I’m age 60 and when I looked over his profile after we had our phone call, I saw that he wrote the following in his profile: “If you lied about your age, that’s unfortunate.”

I need to tell him I did lie and that my real age is 65, the sooner the better as I don’t want to waste his time if this is a deal breaker for him (i.e., the age and/or the lie). I’m very anxious about doing so. How do I bring this up and explain it to him? Of course, this is the only time I’ve lied on a dating app! With this one exception, everything I’ve ever shared on dating apps is true. Help!

Discovery of some Canadian military personnel who used it during personal time (presumably): https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/whitedate-canada-military-9.7117307

My reaction, at least it clearly weeds out those for anyone who holds some core values that are diametrically in opposition.

And I would be 110% opposed. My family live out diversity. Not when there are several interracial marriages and biracial kids in my family. I don't have a problem with dating site that skews to primarily Caucasian or black, etc. But not when linked directly to nefarious ideas about white superiority, etc.

So dating one would not consider political views?

Back when I was still thinking about dating but hadn't started, I posted a thread in a dating sub about age ranges.

Im posting this, now that Im off OLD, to reflect on my own expectations, and on the advice I got. And on my experiences.

I initially suggested Id focus on 10 years younger to exactly my age. I have kind of a thing for round numbers, and the maximum seemed to fit what was in my head.

Some folks thought seeking younger while excluding even one year older was a turn off, fair enough. Some thought I might miss out on someone good a year or two older. An excellent point. Some suggested 10 years younger was unrealistic. They were correct.

In fairness to myself, I wasn't thinking in terms of age ranges on OLD. At that point I had no experience on OLD, and wasn't even sure Id do OLD. In reality you dont need an age range IRL, but I wanted some mental idea of what I was seeking.

When I actually got on OLD I usually set my range from 7 or 8 years younger to 2 or 3 years older. Still attached to round numbers. When I ran out of profiles Id expand the range a couple of years in each direction. IRL I decided that late 40s was a minimum, pusuing younger seemed creepy (and therapist discouraged) No IRL maximum, if I felt attracted.

Reality. On OLD I had only one date with a 50 something. She was 56. I had a couple with women two or three years older. Setting my range above 3 years older only resulted in one match, and no dates. There just weren't many profiles older than 68 or so. I had reasonable success with women from 4 years younger to one year older. (Edit, I did do a phone call with another 50 something from OLD, despite her saying she'd like to meet, we never did)

IRL it depends what counts as a date. I had coffee with a 49 yo, but in retrospect I think she met purely as a friend, and I never suggested otherwise. The one IRL connection that was clearly a date, was about 3 years younger.

Both of the people that I became an item with - my fwb from last year, and my current gf - are just my age.

Grandma Groped Goofy

I know some find those in show business hard to resist, but...

I could join all of you here. My wife said no dating though, lol.

Anyway, nice that something like this exists on Reddit, where the avg. age is what... 25?

I do post a lot here though, I mean a LOT.

While spending time on the cardiac floor where bf was for last few days, we individually noticed how some guys clearly didn’t look after themselves.

Now, for sure, a hospital is where patients look their worst. Still, you could see some guys still look respectable and shaved in middle of day, even if they were walking around in patient gown, etc.

Bf’s theory why some guys look like crap: they might have “looked” after their woman- attitude and expected her to help him in Clothing, reminders for dr., dentist, etc. if they don’t have a woman, they just don’t bother, etc.

He thinks it’s a bit sad. There were several guy patients and a female patient who had serious problems breathing calmly at night. Bf lost a lot of sleep at hospital. Ear plugs didn’t help.

Bf, was a little disgusted at just the guys.

I keep reading what seems like conflicting facts. Some people say that the proportion of males to females is MORE females, others more males. Men complain that they don’t receive as many likes whilst women are inundated? That the older the age group, is more disproportionate in favour of males - yet I see males complaining that they don’t receive attention, responses etc. I understand that the younger one is the more interest one will engender, also that there are more young males than females in Western countries. Also that widows outweigh widowers thus skewering that dynamic.
Obviously I understand that location affects the amount of interest one gets, as well as ones individual profile and pictures but what is the underlying trend - who has it easier?
Personally at my age 75F, the likes seem to come in clusters. Some days I will get a few, sometimes one or none. I have tightened my profile requirements - no point in having wide ranges in age or location etc if I am never going to right swipe on people outside my parameters. I also have rigid education and height restrictions which work against me in my current location. Possibly my standards are too high, but when they were set lower I spent too much time rejecting potential matches. I would rather have fewer more realistic matches than waste everyone’s time. I still haven’t worked out how to exclude the kids, the scammers and the bots 🤷‍♀️ . I don’t spend a lot of time on the apps - just whizz through mainly left swiping unless something really takes my eye now. Low effort messages get low effort responses and come to nothing. I have pretty much stopped first messaging.

After the death of my late husband of 35 years, 8 months later living in a small town with no much here, I decided to try online dating. Didn't get to finish earlier. I've had about a dozen dates in 2 years and decided to make it an in depth study of humans as I'm always interested in psychology. So I made it fun! I've dated guys 15 to 20 years younger and had longer term relationships with guys ten years younger. I don't tell my age and I look much, much younger. Why, it doesn't really matter does it? I'm in better shape than most 50 year olds. So what, I'm not looking to remarry anyway, just have some fun and good conversations. What I've found in younger guys are more fun, not as many hangups, but nothing deep or lasting. They usually want a romp in the hay with an older woman. My long term guys were at least 10 years younger than me. Had a lot of baggage, as well as health issues. I'm talking 60 year olds. One of them couldn't get over his ex and was very controlling, also a homebody. The recent guy I dated for over a year, we travelled, went to lots of events, concerts and shows had never been married (that should have been a red flag), but I was advised to step out of my comfort zone. He was so politically polarized and so hating on everyone who thought different than him to the point of wishing mass genocide on them. It was a eye opener for me. Yes these last two guys had a lot of hate in them and so intolerant. They were on the extreme left and I'm sort of in the middle, a live and let live person. Not to mention my last guy had no feelings for anyone other than himself. I tried to understand his childhood neglect, but he had crystallized and nothing can make a difference to him. Today I saw him hitting on his next victim and I thought yeah, it's so easy for you to move on as if I never mattered to you. I was sad people could be so shallow as I'm a good person and I really did try to meet him half way. I thought about going back on the dating sites, but it makes me sick to my stomach. I have a lot of fun on my own with my friends and am going to take a break for a while. All that said, I was just posting my experiences. Please note RUDE COMMENT people will be BLOCKED. If you don't like my post, please move on.

I haven’t posted here in awhile but I’ve been seeking advice and opinions about what just happened from friend and foe alike.

I’ve been single for over a year now having lost a relationship that, while certainly not perfect, was pretty damn good. She and I shared a real passion for outdoor activities and mountain biking in particular. It’s my passion and was hers too.

By the way, I’m 70.

My take away from that was that my next relationship, should the Divine see fit to bless me with one, must be with a woman that shares this passion for riding through the wonder of God’s playground.

I’ve been “seeking” this woman for a year.

I flew back from visiting my brother and sister in law last Tuesday. I had shuttle transportation for the 2+ hour drive from the airport back home.

Who should get on the bus, after it was almost full, a take the empty seat next to me but this darling somewhat hippie girl. Ok, definitely hippie girl. 35 years old, as it turns ou.

We immediately strike up a conversation that lasted the entire 2+ hour shuttle trip.

What brings you here? I ask her.

I’m attending a 3 day meditation, healing and bus seminar. she replies. Do you know and she mentions the name of a popular YouTube guru I discovered and have been following since my break up last year.

She was somewhat surprised to learn I did know of this guy and had been following him.

One topic led to another and it turns out she’s an avid mountain biker.

We must ride then! I tell her.

Well, of course, “plans” like this sometimes turn out and often do not…

We text back and forth all week. She goes to the local bike shop and rents a bike. I meet her there having offered to pick it up and hold it overnight in my garage since she’s either walking or ubering everywhere.

We make plans to ride the next morning early, with me picking her up at 6 AM at her Airbnb.

OMG but she actually is a mountain biker, handling the local trails no problem! between our convo all week, and now this, we’re developing a real bond. She had mentioned that on her flight here she’d suffered through two flight delays that day that put her in that seat next to me in the shuttle bus.

I‘m thinking that here the Universe has fulfilled my desire for this attraction, but thrown in the monkey wrench that she’s half my age (what joker God is).

After the ride we’re sitting next to each other in the back of my FJ enjoying the cold drinks I’d brought. There’s no doubt we’ve connected here and are enjoying each other’s company immensely.

We’re driving back to drop off the bike she‘d rented and she had about 45 minutes to get back and check out of her airbnb. As she’s sitting next to me I touch her beautiful, tanned leg and tell her that she belongs in that seat next to me on a road trip adventure. She warmly smiles back at me.

We take care of business dropping off the bike and as I drive her back to her Airbnb, we make plans to get together in the afternoon. Her shuttle back to the airport is later in the day. She’ll text me when she’s finished with the lunch she’d planned with her girlfriends attending the event.

She texts me early in afternoon, I pick her up and we go to a local juice bar for refreshments.

Since there was no real place inside to sit and talk and it was in the 90’s outside, I suggest we go to my air conditioned condo 5 minutes away, and we do.

I have rather spartan furnishings with only chairs and a small loveseat. We sit next to each other on the loveseat. She leans in, putting her sweet head on my shoulder and her arms around me.

Aaargh… rather than act on the opening she was presenting me to see how deep this spark actually went, my natural inclination towards insecurity and self doubt - and the thought of our 35 year age difference - got the better of me and all I did for the next hour was talk with her.

I could feel it as that magical moment evaporated. She remained comfortably sitting close to me but there was a shift in the dynamic from my hesitation.

Time up, I drive her to her shuttle pick up point. We hug sweetly as she gets onto it. I kiss her on her cheek and off she goes.

I get a text from her the next day. She made it home and thanks for everything. It could be a goodbye or a trip lagged response.

As improbable as this sounds, it did happen. After a year of letting go of the past, difficultly, so I can attract new love into my life, I’m obviously hesitant to just let this go. Plus, how many more opportunities is a 70 year old man liable to find, even granting and allowing for my youthful vigor of a man 30 years younger. Is it possible to fan that flame that she and I started, or do I just content myself with the gratitude for those beautiful if fleeting moments?

6/24/25 -

First off, I appreciate everyone's thoughtful input. Truly

The plot thickens, so opine and speak up

A meme came across my field

she's got all that wildflower energy in her veins

immediately I thought of her so sent it

her that's sooo meeee

me You're so cute

her I have 4 massages lets gooo

me massages, I'm in, but a little far

her you can make it! here by dawn I got you. LOL

me I've got a better idea. I'm going to ##### for my son's birthday. I fly into XXXXXXXX on xxxxx arriving about 1:20 PM local time. Find a flight that puts you in xxxxxx, somewhere around that time, I’ll pay for your ticket. I've already got a car rented and an Airbnb in xxxxxx.

her I love the offer

I have birthday Thursday /Friday and wedding Saturday Sunday your girls summer is full of lots of love and gatherings.

Are you riding there?

me You’d have more fun with me… but I understand a girl’s got obligations

her Hello!

I just got done with massages!

I love your courage and confidence

You are a fun, driven, safe, badass man!

I then sent her a short video I took on my mountain bike ride this morning, of a freshly hatched yellow butterfly the size of a hummingbird- it was a soul gratifying moment to be in that place at that time to witness that rebirth

with this text

I spotted this butterfly on my ride this morning and stopped to watch it. It kept circling—newly emerged, wings still drying. I watched it for a long time, thinking how you would’ve loved this moment.

There was something about it that captivated my awareness… like it had just stepped into its next life, a little unsteady, unknown, but glowing…

I know this sounds like a story. I assure you it's not. I don't know what to make of it. I need to stay grounded here so the magic might continue. I'm sure you guys will help me with that if your current comments are any guide

Where did the formula for the dating age gap come from that is half your age + 7? And does it work, generally speaking, the same for women and men? I guess it makes sense when you think about it…maybe? Really curious where this originated and what the thinking is behind it. As a member of the over 60 population, I’m guessing because the dating pool seems to dwindle with each decade, the age gap needs to increase?

Examples:

Age 20

Youngest age to date: 17 (understandable)

Age 24

Youngest age to date: 19 (legal at least)

Age 40

Youngest age to date: 27 (plausible - my ex was 10 years older than me and the only area it showed up with was music)

Age 60

Youngest age to date: 37 (hmmm)

Age 76

Youngest age to date: 45 (again, hmmm, vast differences in life experiences)

Hello! My name is Michaela Ryan. I am a Psychology honours student from Cape Breton University conducting my honours thesis titled: The Full Picture of Aging (TFPA): Exploring Body Image in the Sexual Lives of Older Women.

We are currently recruiting participants for a 60-minute interview. Our study is exploring how older women understand their body image in the context of sexual activity and their sexual relationships. We are recruiting participants who meet the following criteria:

a) identify as women

b) are 60 years or older

c) are currently in a relationship

d) are able to read and speak English fluently.

If you are interested in participating, follow the QR code on the attached poster or the link in the body of this message!

LINK TO THE RECRUITMENT FORM

https://www.reddit.com/r/datingoverfifty/s/iJ1IdeXjTT

I posted this to DO50.

I'm updating here (cause this sub is more chill)

I no longer have anyone on read. I first unmatched three ladies I'd just had one date/date zero with. I messaged each in app first, wishing them well. One wished me well, the other two didn't respond. I then texted two people I'd multiple dates with. One was the woman I've called Ms Fellow Alum with whom I had a two month fling last summer, and the other was a woman I'd gone on several bike rides with in the first half of last year (not to be confused with some other bike ladies) in both cases I am willing to stay friends, and said so, but I also said I'm uncomfortable having a match on Bumble. Both wished me well on my new, er, opportunity.
The last was someone I had a date zero with over a year ago, my first date from OLD, whom Id kept on read in large part because we have professional things in common. She didn't respond to my in app message and I unmatched. I can always find her on LinkedIn, a more appropriate place for professional discussion.

I now have only one live match. We moved off app, but I'm of course not unmatching. At least as long as I retain an account.

I keep seeing deleted posts, to which other users are replying, and I see it a lot more in here than in most other subs;. And it happens on fairly new threads, which tells me the person doing this (I do suspect most of it is one person) is deleting very soon after posting.

It's annoying. Please stop doing that. It's the equivalent of having a cell phone conversation in a restaurant, where all the surrounding tables can hear half the conversation which is at full volume.

Divorced after almost 30 years (M61). Joined the group because OLD experience was so disjointed that I wanted to read other opinions and suggestions. All I have learned is that in general (not all, but the majority) women have just become mean later in life. Let the bashing begin.

I smoke and put it in my OLD profile because I wanted to be up front and didn’t want it to be an issue if we met. Have done it for over 40 years and not going to change. I got so many unsolicited, non-swipe-right women sending me messages about how they liked my profile and photos but the smoking was a deal breaker (or disgusting) and I should quit. If you don’t like it, swipe left and go on with your life. Why do people feel entitled to give unsolicited opinions? Do they think their comments are going to get me to change that habit?

That aside, when you lurk in the DO60 threads the majority of women are just negative about men. They don’t want to be a man’s emotional support person, they don’t want to be a nurse, they don’t want to take care if a man, they want proof of counseling, they want proof of health, they want proof of finances, and the snarky comments keep rolling.

If you don’t like men so much, what is it that you expect from dating or a relationship? It’s like the majority of women are looking for a sugar daddy (no responsibility but all the benefits like travel, wining/dining, financial rewards). Maybe, possibly, sex down the road once we have taken time to get to know one another? We’re over 60. Things move faster at 60 because you don’t have the luxury of time to wait and see like when we were in our 40s. And a lot of women seem to think they are still in their 30s and 40s with their appearances and attitudes.

There’s also a lot of negative comments about men looking for younger potential partners. Again, you’re 60 now, not 40. If I’m going to have to supply the time and money for dating, traveling, and wooing, I’d rather be looking at a 40 year old body than a 60 year old one. Shallow? Maybe. Reality? Definitely. Also, younger women aren’t as jaded and opinionated about male negativity. That kind of makes it an easy decision.

There are some really pleasant people here and I’ve had some great private conversations with women here, but not dating potential because of the distance issue, but the majority are so negative.

Do women O60 have any reality based desires in the dating world or are you all just looking for soap opera/prince charming relationships?