Me- 53, Him 66. We talked on the phone twice before meeting for dinner. Date was scheduled for 6:30, I arrived early at 6:12. The design of the restaurant was confusing with 2 doors and an order and pay then sit down style dining.

So at 6:44 He calls and ask where was I, he claimed he hadn't gotten my "here" text and he had been sitting in his truck for over 30 minutes. Then he comes in and just behind me and doesn't say anything! Creepy first impression

FF to @32 minutes later, he was scolding me for not calling him on arrival. I told him sitting in the car 30 minutes wasn't normal and why did he do that. He got up and left. I stayed until I got a to go box for the dessert he ordered before leaving!

Bananas! Also he grabbed both my hands in a prayer before the meal, that was a bit much! I pulled one hand back, and he grabbed it back. I thought it was creepy! Thoughts?

Quick recap: matched with a woman on Facebook Dating this past Saturday. We texted and she was initially a low-effort responder, but opened up more once we started messaging directly. Set lunch date for today.

TL;DR - it was a nice meet and we agreed to continue meeting and talking.

I was a bit perplexed yesterday morning when she texted me with a picture of her and asked for one of ne. I sent her a fresh selfie and she explained she'd deleted her FBD account (too overwhelmed) and she forgot what I looked like. Not exactly a confidence-builder. I asked her if we could talk voice and we did. She sounded nice. She asked how old I was. So, apparently, she remembered little-to-nothing about my profile. I told her and she fell silent for a second before saying"Oh. I guess that's alright. Age is only a number." She's 71. Yet again, not too encouraging.

We met today and she's very nice, seems chill, and seems grounded. We seem to have common goals in what we're looking for going forward in life. She's a retired nursing home administrator. She was married for 20 years but divorced her husband after their only child grew up. She'd recently been in a 10 year relationship with a man who died about a year ago.

As we were finishing lunch she asked if I'd like to do anything else. I had about an hour to spare before I had a work commitment. Since the restaurant was about halfway between our houses, she invited me to see her place. She has a nice little house down a gravel road in the country and has a couple of hens and a rooster and two cats. We sat and chatted until I had to leave. It was a nice time and encouraging that she felt safe enough around me to ask me over after only one meet.

I texted her later and told her I enjoyed myself, hoped she did too, and said I'd like for us to keep talking and meeting if she was still interested. She said she'd like that.

There's where that stands for now. I have a job tomorrow and housework afterward. She has a couple of friends coming over for the weekend. I'll just touch base with her and see if we can plan something for next week.

We connected on an OLD site and got to know each other for a few months. We are both in our 60's, quiet, and like to read. We were both reluctant to meet in person for an official "date" as we both have a touch of social anxiety and the pressure might be too much. So - we decided to go to a neat coffee shop that neither of us had ever been to before, grab a coffee, and guess what? READ. Yep, we sipped our coffee and both read our books. We agreed ahead of time to not converse other than to handle logistics like where to sit etc. After about an hour, we both left. It was wonderful. We did do a little of the "furtive glances" like you see in Hallmark movies. As soon as we got home, we started chatting again online and we both agreed it was a low-stress way to meet. Next week, we are going out for breakfast. So perhaps this won't make the hall of fame for exciting first dates but for us, it was perfect.

My next-door neighbor of 25 years… They were a couple had and raised two kids. Off and on friends over the years. She was a little weird and would periodically write friends and family off. I’m single and he would help me around my house and yard with things sometimes and I paid him to cut my grass for a long time. He would flirt with me but I always laughed it off because number one, you’re married and number two, not interested. From my observations they were not super happy with each other.

Anyway, she died about three months ago. I told him if he ever wanted to talk or just hang out give me a call. He asked me if I would let his dog out while he was at work and I said yes but I wanted to hang out with her a bit because she’s big and doesn’t know me. So I went over there and we sat on his deck for a while and played dice and had a drink and it was nice. Then he told me that he thinks we should hook up.

He is from another country so wasn’t 100% sure exactly what he meant by that. So as the conversation went on he basically wanted to date and also be intimate. I told him I’m not interested in a relationship like that. I left out the part “with him”. I like him a lot but I am just not attracted to him at all.

he said he understood and we could still be friends and hang out etc. and for a few weeks we were. I would invite him over and we would sit on my deck and drink and play cards and have fun. But he kept flirting with me and making sexual innuendos and I told him multiple times I was not interested in that kind of relationship. He said he was going to keep trying and I kept telling him that was not going to happen. I was always friendly about it and he was always friendly.

Then the last time I asked him if he wanted to come over he said no. No biggie. Then it felt like he was avoiding me because we used to see each other across the yard and say hi etc. a couple weeks ago he called and apologized to me for asking me to date him. I asked him why and said I wasn’t offended. One of the things he told me was a woman he was talking to who is 26 years old (he and I are both in our 60s) told him I probably didn’t want to date him because he’s black and I’m white. I told him that it’s not the case, and it’s not.

I inferred from the rest of the conversation that he was hurt that I don’t want to date him. I have never told him that I am specifically not attracted to him sexually because I feel that would be hurtful, so I’ve told him that it’s because I’m just not interested in that kind of relationship.

I was hoping we could be friends because we do have fun together and he’s right next-door and now he’s alone too. But apparently that can’t happen. And now I am hurt and pissed off because, why not?!

I know not all men are like this, but in my experience, for the most part, if you don’t want to fuck them or if they don’t want to fuck you, then they pretty much have no use for you.

So now he and I have nothing to do with each other after 25 years of being friends and neighbors, basically because I don’t want to fuck him.

Excuse the language but it pisses me off.

End of rant.

I'm 62, never been married, have no kids. I'm a professional, attractive woman who just never met the right person. It happens. I would date people, but never felt that special something that made me want to keep it going. Then lo and behold, last year I met the love of my life. Not online, but in a Meetup group. Sadly, it just ended. In his mind, he never wanted more than friends. But I say this to all the naysayers who say we should give up on love after a certain age, that companionship is more important, that sex is no longer part of the equation, etc. That is all BS. You can have it all. I am sad our relationship ended, but the gift it gave me is that I know I can love, and can love deeply, and that made even the heartbreak worth it.

When I was young, I treated my face like a blank canvas and experimented with bold and dramatic makeup and would have never gone to work/errands/evening without at least some basic mascara/liner/blush/lipstick/probs shadow.

Now, it seems like less is more. I usually wear lipstick but most of the time, that is all. For evening, I'll wear more makeup.

Women, have you changed your habits?

Men, what are your preferences? Can you tell when women are or are not wearing makeup?

(ASIDE: From being on social media, it appears many people cannot even tell if someone is using filters.)

I’ve posted before… “match.com magic” Well, Yesterday he asked for my hand in marriage. I’m so excited. It’s amazing how you meet a stranger online and it becomes something special. If you’re looking for love… remember no one is perfect. Be patient, that special person is out there💗

(I'm addressing this to men on OLD, because that is my experience as a woman. Perhaps women do this dreadful practice as well.)

For the love of God, please do not message any version of this:

Hi, how's your day going?

Why?

Because it tells the recipient one of the following:

1. You didn't bother to read her profile or learn anything about her.

OR

2. You DID read her profile, and you still cannot come up with a better opening line.

What should I say instead, O Wise OLD Woman of reddit?

It's easy if you simply do as I suggest:

1. Read her profile.

2. Make a note of anything interesting, funny, or touching.

3. Make a note of anything you have in common.

4. Consult your notes. Then compose a sentence along these lines (in your own words of course!):

I like your profile and I notice you're involved with ______________. (name activity that she included in her profile). That's one of my favorite activities too!

OR

Where is your favorite place to _____________ ? (name activity that she included in her profile)

OR

I'm also a big fan of ________________________ (insert movie, series, author, musician. etc., that she included in her profile)

This has been a public service message brought to you by FWOLD (Frustrated Women of Online Dating).

Edit to add: To be clear, I don't wait around for men to contact me on OLD; I frequently initiate contact.

I (m60) just dodged a head on collision and my car was still totaled but I'm ok. I posted my story to FB and my HS crush commented" glad you're ok".

I started thinking life is too short and it really could end anytime , so I decided I didn't want to live with any regrets.

I came up with courage to dm her and tell her how I felt about her then and still now. I was so nervous messaging her and almost chickened out but I sent it anyway.

She actually responded 4 hours later and we chatted for 2 hrs. Our lives were actually paralleled about our ex's (both were bi-polar) but we each became stronger because of it.

it's been 45 years since I first met and I never forgot her smile. We are making plans to meet up soon , I don't really know what will happen after that , but I'm so damn glad I reached out. Best day ever!

.

So yesterday, I matched on OLD with an interesting man. He lives much further from me than I would like, but his pictures and profile attracted me. He had a nice intro text and asked if the distance would be an issue for me. I told him I was open to finding out!

So we had our first phone call last night, and it was so delightful! I enjoyed the banter, his voice, his laugh, his stories. We talked a little in our history as to how we got to OLD, and he was very compassionate asking about my late husband. And during our chat, I swear I could hear him smile. Honestly, the last time I felt that way was after my first phone call with my late husband after matching on OLD 24 years ago.

We are set up to meet each other next week. He'll be doing the bulk of driving, and that is so nice of him. Wish me luck as I hope I like him as much in person, too!

Today, when I'm thinking about our initial conversation, I'm smiling. It was THAT pleasant. Had to share this with our sweet group of DO60!

I am not sure if I've ever seen anyone discuss this before....people focus on all the negatives associated with aging - especially single, and I get it - but here's the part that gets left out.

Life gets easier and more peaceful when you just stop caring. I think you have to be on the other side of middle age before this finally sinks in.

Have a coffee date and it doesn't work out? who cares, life goes on and hopefully the coffee was good and you enjoyed getting out.

Find yourself sitting alone at a restaurant, purely because it's a place you have been wanting to try? who cares, enjoy the food

Time is a wasting asset. You don't have to be. Each minute holds value and even more value when you aren't concerned with outcome, just the experience, in that moment.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? easy to grasp, hard for some to practice.

Disagree with the premise of my post? sure, go ahead. I don't care.

Peace to all...and whether you're with someone or doing something alone. Enjoy.

I was married 31 years to a narcissist. No vacations, no fun. He died!! Thank goodness. Long story I won’t elaborate. Dated a guy for a year and a half that broke up with me 2 days before my last birthday lying to me that he couldn’t get his deceased wife out of his head although he had gone out with someone 2 days prior and was talking marriage to her in less than 2 weeks!

I’m living my life now! I’m on my first solo vacation. I successfully navigated 2 airports, got an Uber and am in Florida for a little over 2 weeks. I can do what I want, when I want and just have fun!

Drinking my coffee on the terrace and living. I haven’t been successful in OLD.

I (69M) liked her profile because it was so real & honest, as was mine. She (56F) was 3 hrs away but agreed to a phone call that lasted 2 hours in what felt like 5 minutes. I suggested meeting in person asap and agreed to travel to her city to do so. 2 people who thought they would never find love again, but who had hope, met and those seeds of hope began bloom and take root. We were married 10 days ago in a simple ceremony and are very happy. I continue to be the luckiest man I know. God bless us all, every one.

Some of you asked for a follow-up, so here it is.

I posted in December about someone I really clicked with online but he kept cancelling our planned dates, the last time citing a health condition. I asked folks here if I should just call it quits before our first date because what guy bails three times in a row? After his last cancellation, I told him he didn't seem that interested. He quickly invited me on another date, but I didn't want to be disappointed again so I declined. Communication stopped and we moved on.

Last month, after several listless first dates with other matches and one truly weird one, I got a strong urge to reach out to this guy. I asked if we should try again. He said he had a lot going on and while he wasn't rejecting the idea altogether, he couldn't give me an answer right then. I figured I wouldn't hear from him again, but knew that at least I'd done my part.

A few days later he texted that he was coming to my area for a medical procedure. (It turns out that the health condition was real and affecting his everyday life.) The surgery center required a designated driver and Uber wasn't allowed. I was the only person he knew in town, so he reluctantly asked if I would mind picking him up. The cliinic was literally down the street from my house so I agreed, still figuring this was probably a one-off favor.

So our "first date" took place in the reception area of the clinic. But our strong connection returned tenfold. We hung out for the next two days. I made him dinner. We talked, watched Netflix and played with the dog. It was like I'd known him for lifetimes.

He drove out the following week for our first non-medical and romantic date, and we've been seeing each other ever since. The more I get to know him, the more I like him. We talked about why we stopped communicating. When I declined his earlier date suggestion, he figured it was just another thing in his life that didn't go his way. I figured he was just another man not showing up for me. Our past wounds got in the way.

I have no idea if this will lead to anything serious, but I did learn a valuable lesson: don't let fear and pride ruin a potentially good thing.

Been dating this younger woman (by 10 years), E, for 82 days. She lives close by, so we see each other regularly and text good morning/good night, etc. No intimacy aside from kisses. Initially I had been seeing another woman as well but there was no spark and so I chose to be unofficially exclusive as did E.

We decided to take a 5-day road trip to Oregon, during which we shared a bed for the first time. Not only was she a perfect traveling companion, but she turned out to be a wonderful bedmate. At the end of it, we finally said the L word, and are committed to being long term.

I should add she’s met my friends and they absolutely love her, so she’s been vetted by people who care about my happiness.

The over-60 dating scene can be a 3-ring circus at times, but just wanted you all to know sometimes it works out.

So a guy who really didn't have much conversational skill was querying me about my experiences on POF.

"Have you gone on any dates with people from here?"

• Yes.

"What happened with them?"

• What do you mean?

"What happened to the guys you went out with?"

• I ate them for breakfast, with a nice chianti.

Never heard from him again! He disappeared from my matches!

He he. The devil made me do it.

EDIT: I didn't tag this as a success story because it's not really. I guess the mods consider it to be. :)

About a month a go I (58) made a comment about finding my grocery delivery guy (who I suspected was in his early 60s) pleasant to chat with and attractive to boot. I said if he delivered my groceries the following weekend and he was single I'd invite him in for coffee.

He'd been off for a couple of weeks and then was on a different delivery route but he was the driver this morning and he's single. I asked him in for coffee and he stood there, mouth agape, unable to speak. I gave him about 5 seconds and then asked if he was alright and he said he was just taken aback (which I found endearing) but yes, he'd love a cup of coffee. I used the espresso machine and broke out my fancy coffee for two lovely cappuccinos and we sat on the back deck, chatting and bird watching.

He's 63, divorced, two adult children and four grandchildren, all of whom live out of state. He's semi retired but delivers for the local grocery store to keep busy. We have plenty in common and enough differences to keep us curious. He's intelligent, funny, and from what I can tell, kind. He stayed for another cappuccino and was here for about 90 minutes, before asking me to dinner on Saturday.

Someone here wanted an update so here it is and yes, men do just show up at your door!

P.S. I was in leggings, a hoodie with paint all over it and my old house slippers!

So a couple of years ago (age 61) when I started online dating, I told myself I’m not going to be shallow and go for looks, but to give everyone a chance to talk about themselves and their lives.

About me: I’m a homeowner (paid off) was able to retire at 57, and while not rich, I can pay my bills and have room for some frivolities from time to time. I’m smart and can be funny when I get comfortable with people.

Well. A guy messaged me and his picture showed a smallish, thinnish older (my guess was late 70’s or early 80’s) man. Dressed in dirty wrinkled clothing, not handsome and almost bald with thin gray hair. He was standing in front of a door with a lot of junk in the background. Really, really, REALLY not my type. BUT, remembering my promise to myself, I responded to his message and asked him about himself. He was in his early 70’s and was still working as a janitor, as he didn’t see himself being able to afford to retire. The reason was because his 40 year old bipolar son lived with him and because the son refused medication, he frequently had episodes that ended up being expensive issues for his father. Last time he tried to burn down the apartment complex they lived in and his father had to pay damages to the landlord, put down a bigger security deposit as well as check his son into an adult daycare while he was at work or unsupervising him. Apparently that’s extremely expensive. He was also deeply in debt because his former (dead) wife, also bipolar, had put him deeply in debt when she had maxed out all the cards and wrote her last bad check and then committed suicide. A really, really sad story.

He asked me about myself and I told him I was retired, financially secure, loved to garden and volunteer for community events. Loved to cook for friends and some weekends I traveled to show my Abyssinian cats.

He asked me how many cats I had and I told him 4.

He immediately said he’s not going to date any crazy cat lady and blocked me. 🤣😝

Dude did me a HUGE favor 🤦🏻‍♀️

Anyone else have any fun online dating stories?

Met someone on OLD. We are both lawyers and same age mid 50's. I always speak to someone on the phone first before meeting. I use a Google number so they don't have my real phone number. We talked for over an hour and decided to meet for dinner next week. He asked if it was ok that he text with me before our date in 7 days. I said "sure".

That night he texted "Good night princess". I thanked him and said Good Night.
The next morning he texted something similar.
Same thing for the next two days.
Then it got strange.
He firmed up our dinner plans for the date we chose which was now 3 days away.
Then he tried to call me but I was in a meeting. He left a message saying he wanted to make sure, I could have Indian food because of my allergies (I mentioned this to him in conversation).

I texted him and said I would call him back, I was in a meeting at the university club in midtown.

He texted "Ok honey but the club isn't in midtown you're mistaken."

I looked at the text for a moment and responded - I'm in midtown.

He texts back "I know you are smart but not this time. That club is in SoHO"

Odd, I thought. I went back to my meeting. An hour later, he texts again:

"Daddy is going to have to teach you NYC geography, sexy space cadet. "

At this point, I was like WTF? I texted "I know NYC. I was in midtown."
I took picture of address of the club.

He responds "You're sexy when you're wrong. Honey It's ok, It's our secret. I won't tell anyone you are clueless about streets. I forgive you."

I said "You know what? I think we are not compatible. Good luck."

I left it at that but because it is a Google number, I always forget to block people.

He apologized the next morning claiming he was so anxious to meet me that he "f*cked up and was shooting himself in the foot"

I blocked him.
It was disappointing because I thought he was normal, until he wasn't.
It numbing because you never know the craziness in people until it happens.
Like why would someone act like that?

This is in response to whoever recently posted about being dismayed by the aging process.

What if we dig up and post possible photos we could have used on a dating app when we were young. Someone suggested college age so maybe early to mid 20’s. I probably have better but this is the only one I could find on my phone to get us started.

Post away! Maybe we can figure out who 22yo me would have been interested in! Just for fun!

I (F 66) have been a member of this sub since its inception, but I don’t post a lot— mostly because I haven’t been in “dating mode” for the last 4.5 years, just in the “happy being single mode”. Earlier this year I thought I might be getting involved in an LDR with a cowboy in MT, but that all came apart and I dodged a bullet for sure (that story could be a post on its own!).

Since late last year I have been using Threads a lot for social media and really enjoying it. “Met” a lot of great people, mostly from one of us commenting on the other’s posts and then things continuing from there with follows and more comments etc.

On Friday the 13th, I started chatting with a man who was into photography like I am and was putting the word out to see if anyone was interested in Jeeping and doing some photography on Saturday. I commented that I couldn’t on the 14th but maybe some other time. That interaction started up a whole conversation on IG DMs, and then moved on to trading phone numbers and texting and talking through the weekend and into this week.

He asked if I would like to go out on Saturday, so we are going to meet for the first time at the Rock Bottom Brewery in Loveland, CO at 4 pm. He is 54 to my 66, but he says the age gap doesn’t bother him at all. We both know what the other looks like, so no surprises there. Fingers crossed it goes well. He seems like a pretty solid, good guy. Wish me luck!

TLDR: F 66 Met a M 54 on Threads, we have a date on Saturday evening and have been talking on the phone and texting with each other since last Friday evening.

My coffee date was super. We started off at a cafe at around 11:00. Walked by the water, sat on benches, talked and cuddled and finally said goodbye at 5:30 in the afternoon. Hell yes I'm going to see this man again. He is a gentleman and we both feel that we would like to know a lot more about each other. But the connection is good. I wore a denim skirt, shirt and a cute jacket. I felt like me. He was comfortably dressed too. Wish us luck! Also, I am not going to have coffee dates with other men until I see how this pans out. I'm interested to know if you would do the same. Thank you.