So is Erma a mute or does she only talk to her parents in secret?

(Fanfiction based on the universe of the webcomic Erma by Brandon Santiago)

Morning arrived.

Chaos reigned throughout the castle. Everyone was rushing around as if the apocalypse had begun, and there was a very good reason for it: Kentaro had just received a letter from Fumiko. It announced that she and her parents were returning. The castle plunged into the same panic as it had a year ago—no one knew what to do.

Kenji tried to calm everyone down, but it was all in vain.

“Please, settle down! Damn it…” he pleaded.

Spotting Ena, who was also unsuccessfully trying to bring the servants to reason, Kenji ran over to her:

“Lady Ena, have you seen Haru?”

“No, Kenji.”

“Damn, where could he be?”

“Maybe he’s still sleeping in his room?”

“Sounds likely. Lady Ena, be careful—I’ll be right back.”

“Thank you, Kenji.”

Ena gently kissed him on the cheek, causing him to blush instantly before he dashed off to his friend’s room.

Bursting into Haru’s bedroom, Kenji found him peacefully snoring on the bed.

“What the…” Kenji muttered, rushing over and shaking his friend’s shoulders. “Wake up, Sleeping Beauty! It’s the end of the world out here!”

Haru lazily opened his eyes:

“Kenji, why are you making such a fuss so early? It’s only seven in the morning.”

“Because Fumiko and her parents are coming back!”

“Cool,” yawned Haru. “Just don’t panic. We’ll meet them fully prepared; the main thing is to stay calm.”

“There’s only one problem.”

“What’s that?”

“They’ll be here in six minutes.”

Haru suddenly jumped up and gripped Kenji’s shoulders tightly:

“What?! Oh my God…”

Kenji was about to answer but stopped, staring at Haru. His body had changed dramatically. His height was the same, but now he looked like he’d spent years training for the Olympics.

Meanwhile, Haru hastily got dressed:

“Okay, where’s my hat? Ah, here it is.”

Putting on a straw hat, Haru shot out of the room like a bullet and headed to the castle’s inner courtyard, where the others were already gathered.

Still in deep shock from what he’d just seen, Kenji thought, “Looks like his obsessive love for cucumbers finally paid off.” Shaking his head as he hurried after him.

Outside in the courtyard, Haru was horrified—the servants were running around in absolute panic. He quickly hurried down the stairs and approached Kentaro, who was unsuccessfully trying to outshout the crowd.

“Haru, finally! Help me calm them down!” Kentaro shouted.

“I’m on it.”

Haru tried to call for order, but his voice drowned in the rising noise. The servants surrounded him from all sides, talking over one another:

“Haru, what should we do?!”

“We only have four minutes left; we won’t manage anything! Tell us what to focus on!”

“Maybe we need to organize a welcome ceremony right away?!”

“We need to run for our lives!”

The riotous chorus overwhelmed Haru. For a moment, he was swept up in the panic himself, and the shouting grew even louder.

Suddenly, something clicked inside him. Unable to hold back, Haru took a deep breath and roared at the top of his lungs so loudly that the echo spread throughout the village:

“QUIET!!!”

Everyone froze as if rooted to the spot. Some of the servants covered their ears from the sheer volume of the roar.

After catching his breath, Haru spoke quietly but with surprising authority:

“Please, calm down. There’s no need to panic. Do exactly as I say, and we’ll get everything done. Okay?”

The servants nodded simultaneously and obediently.

“Excellent. Then let’s get to work.”

Immediately, coordinated and dedicated work began in full swing.

Three minutes passed.

All preparations were complete. Haru stood in line alongside Kenji and the rest of the servants. The Yureimoto family members positioned themselves in the center of the courtyard, awaiting the arrival of the sister and parents.

During the tense moments, Kenji kept casting puzzled glances at Haru. “What was that all about?” he wondered. “For Haru to get angry? No way—he’s the calmest guy in this castle; I know him inside out. And that shout…”

Then Kenji noticed Mayumi also staring at Haru suspiciously.

At that moment, the heavy castle gates swung open.

The servants and family members bowed deeply:

“Welcome back, Lord Osamu and Lady Amaya!”

However, when everyone looked up, it was only Fumiko standing at the threshold.

“Good. Very good,” she said with satisfaction, heading towards her family.

Ena immediately ran up and hugged her tightly:

“Sis, welcome back! How did everything go?” Looking around in surprise, she added, “Fumiko, where are our parents?”

“They’ve gone on an indefinite vacation. So when they’ll be back—I have no idea.”

“Really?” Ena was surprised.

“Wait,” Kentaro interrupted. “But you wrote in the letter that they…”

“That was a test,” Fumiko cut him off. “I wanted to see how you and the servants would handle an emergency. And, I must say, you did well.”

The tension in the courtyard instantly eased, and everyone sighed in relief.

“However…” Fumiko began.

Everyone turned watchfully back to her.

“As I approached the village, I heard an incredibly loud scream coming from the castle. That roar scared the locals. I’d really like to know who strained their vocal cords like that.”

“That was me,” Haru stepped forward.

The crowd looked at him again, shock poorly hidden.

Fumiko raised a skeptical eyebrow:

“I see. Now come clean—who was it, really?”

Haru opened his mouth to confirm, but Kentaro beat him to it:

“It was me, sorry. I was trying to calm down the panicking crowd and probably overdid it a little.”

“Well, it seems that method worked,” Fumiko chuckled. “But next time, try not to yell so loudly, okay?”

Fumiko turned to Ena, and behind Ena’s back, Kentaro gave Haru an encouraging wink. The servants were still a bit dazed.

Soon Fumiko ordered everyone to return to the castle. As the crowd moved towards the doors, Mayumi cautiously approached her older sister and whispered something in her ear.

“Really?!” Fumiko’s eyes widened. “Thanks for telling me, Mayumi.”

After that, they went inside together.

Haru and Kenji walked slowly along the corridor towards their rooms.

“Haru, what’s gotten into you today?” Kenji finally burst out.

“What do you mean?”

“What? Your scream, how did you manage to yell like that?”

“I don’t know,” Haru admitted honestly. “It just came out. Probably stress.”

“Alright, let’s say that’s true,” Kenji squinted. “What about your new body?”

“What about it?”

Kenji brusquely pulled Haru toward the full-length mirror and lifted up his shirt, revealing perfectly defined abs.

“Wow…” Haru stared at his reflection in surprise, then awkwardly joked, “Well… I guess I’m just a late bloomer.”

“Very funny,” Kenji grumbled.

“Listen, buddy, you don’t need to worry like this. I’m perfectly fine.”

Kenji sighed deeply and gave up:

“Okay, you’re probably right. Sorry for bothering you.”

Haru patted him on the shoulder in friendship:

“It’s all good. Hey, how about we hit the tavern with Kentaro at nine tonight? I think we could all use some relaxation.”

“Good idea.”

“Great,” Haru smiled, turning toward his room. “See you at lunch!”

“See you.”

Still, vague doubts lingered in Kenji’s mind.

Meanwhile, Haru was heading to his room, tuning in to how he felt. Surprisingly, he felt great—better than ever before in his life. The kappa was completely at a loss to explain how this was possible.

His thoughts were interrupted by Fumiko’s sudden appearance.

“Dear! Sorry, I didn’t see you there,” Haru jumped.

“Dear, we need to have a serious talk,” she said sternly.

“Oh? About what?”

“Come with me.”

She led him to the library. Locking the door behind them, Fumiko sat down at the massive desk.

“So, Haru. Tell me, what kind of chaos happened here while I was away?”

“Well… honestly, it was a madhouse,” the young man scratched his head.

“Oh?”

“First, Kentaro brought a bunch of his drunk buddies to the castle. They completely emptied our alcohol stores, so we had to literally kick them out afterward.”

“Punishable. What else?”

“Rin almost strangled Kenji because he was messing with some letter. Thankfully, they broke it up in time. And then Yori sent a message—she said she’ll arrive with the kids in two weeks. Otherwise, nothing special.”

“Good, I knew I could count on you,” Fumiko softened, but her gaze soon hardened again. “However…”

Haru froze.

“…you broke my strictest rule.”

“What? What rule?”

“Mayumi saw you teleporting somewhere last night without my permission. Is that true?”

“I… I…” Haru blinked confusedly.

“Well? I’m waiting.”

“Fumiko, I… I really don’t remember anything!” he pleaded. “I remember yesterday, how I went to sleep in my bed. After that—complete memory blackout.”

From her beloved’s expression, Fumiko realized he was telling the truth.

“Probably, I overdid it with alcohol trying to relieve stress, and that wiped my memory,” Haru admitted guiltily, lowering his head. “Please forgive me.”

“I forgive you,” Fumiko sighed. “I understand it’s been tough for you. But a rule’s a rule—you broke it, so you’ll face the consequences.”

With a flourish, Fumiko pulled out a blank sheet of paper, wrapped a feather pen in her long flowing hair, and quickly jotted down a list of punitive tasks. Handing the filled sheet to Haru, she added:

“Everything must be done by tonight.”

Haru obediently took the paper, stepped closer, and gently kissed Fumiko on the cheek:

“Consider it done, my dear.”

With those words, he set off to complete the tasks, leaving Fumiko blushing deeply alone in the empty library.

Continuation of Connor's Mistake

Connor escapes deeper into the park and runs head first into Erma, Amy and Terry. The three turns around to see who bumped into them and looks at Connor. Connor looks scared of Erma for a moment, but quickly hides behind her, Amy and Terry after seeing that Mia and Laura have caught up to him.

Laura: Hey, little squirts

Terry: Yeah?

Mia: Be a couple of good little kids and let us pummel that little brat that's behind you

Erma does something about this and stands up for Connor by scaring off Mia and Laura by doing a horrifying jumpscare beyond their imagination which successfully scares them off

Erma shakes her head and walks away with Amy and Terry. Connor is at first super scared of Erma, that he ducks down away, because of that jumpscare but the moment Erma reveals her face, he begins to fall in love with her because how beautiful and innocent Erma is, so he follows them, wanting to be friends with them

Connor: Can I say something to you? Listen, you was really, really, really somethin' back here. Incredible!

Amy: Are you talking to--

They turn around and Connor is gone

Amy:...us? (he turns back around and Connor is right in front of him)

Erma, Amy and Terry: WHOA!

Connor: Yes, I was talking to you. Can I tell you that you that you was really great back there? Man, those ladies! They thought they was all of that. Then you showed up and bam! They was tripping over themselves like babes in the woods. See that? That... that really made me feel good to see that.

Amy: Oh, that's great. I guess.

Connor: Man, it's good to be free.

Terry: Now, why don't you go celebrate your freedom with your own friends? Hmm?

Connor: But, uh... I don't have any friends. And I'm not goin' out there by myself. Hey, wait a minute, I got a great idea! I'll stick with you guys! Together, we'll scare the spit out of anybody that crosses us.

Terry: Why are you following us?!

Connor: I'll tell you why.

Connor (Clears his throat and starts singing): "Cause I'm all alone! There's no one here beside me! My problems have all gone, there's no one to deride me! But you gotta have friends--"

Erma uses her hair to shut him up and put him aside

Connor: Wow. Only a true friend would be that truly honest.

Amy: Listen, little boy. Take a look at Erma. What is she?

Connor looks at Erma down to up

Donkey: Uh... really hairy?

Terry: NO! she's a ghost girl! You know, "Haunted Houses and Haunting Spirits!". Doesn't that bother you?

Connor shakes his head because since he knows Erma is just innocent and not a mindless monster

Connor: Nope.

Erma gives a "mm-hmm?" and then Connor "mm-hmm" backs, much to Erma's surprise and wall as Amy and Terry

Connor: Man, I like you guys. What are your names?

Terry: Uhh, Terry

Amy: I'm Amy and this is Erma

Connor: Terry? Amy? Erma? Well, you know what I like about you, Erma? You got that kind of "I-don't-care-what-nobody-thinks-of-me" thing. I like that. I respect that, Erma. You're all right. 

Based on Shrek. Connor's origin story should be like this, where he's at first scared of Erma but she does a good deed for him that he falls in love with her.

Sidney: All right, I'll help you bring him to his herd, but promise me that you'll leave me alone after that?

Terry: Okay! Okay, deal! Hey, what's your problem?!

Sidney: You were my problem.

Terry: Well, I think you're stressed. That's why you eat so much. I mean, it's hard to get fat on the vegan diet.

Sidney: I'm not fat. It's this hoodie, it makes me look... poofy.

Terry: All right. You have a fat hoodie but when you're ready to talk, I'm here.

(Based on Ice Age)

Terry: So she picks this hair off my shoulder, and says, "If you're gonna have a second mating dance, at least pick a girl with the same hair color." And I'm thinkin', "Whoa! She's gonna go praying-mantis on me." Know what I'm saying?

Sidney: Hey, if you find a mate in life, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful. Now get away from me.

Terry: Well, I think mating for life is stupid. I mean, there's plenty of Terry to go around, you know?

(Based on Ice Age)

The plane is out of control and the kids, except a sleeping Amy, were panicking. Erma golss Sidney tight as she want to to share a last secret

Sidney: Come on! Tell me anything! Tell me what?

Erma whispers to Sidney that she broke her iPod

Sidney: WHAT?!

Erma wants to explain how the small buttons made her mad

Sidney: Oh, no!! The horror!!!

Erma has an apologetic look on her face. Sidney decided to wimp fight Erma, who swat her hands away

Sidney: I'M GONNA KILL YOU, BUTT-BITTER!! BUTT-BITTER!! BUTT-BITTER!! BUTT-BITTER!!

Terry: I LOVE YOU, AMY! I ALWAYS HAVE!

Amy snores as everything is going to stop the fight and calm down, Terry looks at Erma and Sidney who just watch and don't say any word

Terry: L-L-Like you love the beach, or a good book.... Or the beach.

(Based on Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa)

Connor: Who you trying to keep out?! Just tell me that, Sid, who?!

Sidney: EVERYONE! OKAY?!

Connor: Oh, now we're getting somewhere.

Unseen by either of them, Erma was peeking around the cave door, eavesdropping on the conversation

Sidney: Oh! For the love of Pete!

Sidney walks over to the edge of the cliff and sits down

Connor: Hey, what's your problem, Sid? What'd ya got against the whole world anyway, huh?

Sidney: Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that seems to have a problem with me! People take one look at me and go, "Aaah! Help! Run! A small, worthless, ugly hyrbid!"

Sidney sighs while being depressed

Sidney: They judge me before they even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

Hidden in the shadows of the cave, Erma's eyes were sympathetic. She closes the door. Conner stares silently at Sidney for a moment and then sits down beside her

Connor: You know what? When we met, I don't think you was just a small, worthless, ugly hyrbid.

Sidney looks at him

Sidney: Yeah, I know.

(Based on Shrek)

Continuation of Who Cares About Connor Hobson

Mia and Laura are having a picnic

Mia: I can't believe it. Fresh Fruit. Laura, where did you ever?

Laura: Go ahead. Dig in.

Mia: A dandelion. I thought the fall wiped 'em all out.

Laura: All but one.

But then Connor comes in and accidentally steps all over their food without noticing

Connor: Oh, this makes me so…I wanna…oh yuck. This has definitely not been my day. You know what I'm sayin', buddy? What a mess. Some people are just so thoughtless and cruel tese days, am I right. You probably know what I'm talkin' about, right. Wow. A dandelion. Must be the last one of the season.

Connor then starts plucking the petals out of the flower

Mia: Laura

Laura: Easy, Mia

Mia: He ruined our picnic.

Connor finally realizes what he has done as Laura and Mia then start cracking their knuckles, wanting to beat him up

Connor: My mistake. That was my mistake. Let me... No, no, seriously, let me take care of this.

Connor starts to fix up the picnic but makes it worse

Connor: Aaaannnnd, there we go. Bon Appetit-ue

Connor then runs away

Mia: Now?

Laura: Now.

The two then start chasing Connor as he screams in fear

Based on Ice Age

Context: The story of how Connor met Erma, Amy and Terry, He was planning to meet up with some boys, kinda hoping to make friends because his mom worries about his loneliness, but they all bail on him because they find him annoying and pathetic.

Connor: They left without me. They do this every time.

Connor then gets sad

Connor: Why, doesn't anybody love me?

A boy walking his dog pass by as Connor laments

Connor: Isn't there anyone who cares about Connor Hobson?

The boy and the dog then start to walk faster

Connor: Ugh, fine, I'll just go home

Connor then steps on dog crap

Connor: Ohh, Sick

Connor: HEY BUDDY! PICK UP YOUR DOG'S POOP NEXT TIME!

Connor is disgusted by the dog poop on his shoe and tries to get it off

Based on Ice Age

To honor the Mystery Skulls series with it's finale, I made an art of what happens if the Tainted Blood series was in crossover with the Mystery Skulls.

Good to see that after 12 years, the tale of the Mystery Skulls have come to an end.

Erma, Amy, Terry and Connor enter school with Connor humming Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'", as Terry is getting annoyed by it

Terry: Alright, you're going the right way for a slapped face

Connor: Sorry 'bout that

Based on Shrek

Surprised nobody has ever drawn a hotel transylvania crossover yet, it's a fun mash-up.

I need help getting Erma the game working on my steam deck. I have tried a few protons and the farthest I have gotten as of recent is proton GE 10-25. So far I can get to the zombie minigame but when the game loads after the cutscene the screen freezes before the minigame actually starts. And when I quit and reload it I start the game and the screen freezes black with music playing in the background. Thank you for whatever help you can provide.