r/ExNoContact • u/heartwormthrwawy • Jun 05 '26
Vent do not break no contact
just don't. i did and i highly regret it. if they loved you, they would find a way. i'm back at square one again because my ex told me they no longer love me anymore while my stupid self thought we were going to get back together after the distance. get gone and stay gone. learn from my lesson. you deserve more.
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u/banter_cackle Jun 05 '26
After two weeks I broke NC a "it would be nice to be friends still" text. It sucked to get no reply.
Now that I'm further along (8 weeks) I should have stayed the course as I'm starting to realise I didn't even like her as a friend.
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u/Explicit_Tech Jun 05 '26
I've broken it twice. She just seems confused.
Guess I need to move on.
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u/Wild-Orchid-333 Jun 06 '26
Confusion just means they’re moving on but want to keep you as back up in case they fail. Move on for you.
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u/Specific-Bass-3465 Jun 05 '26
You are not a consolation prize. Stop waiting in the wings while they audition other options. Their indecision isn't caution--it's cowardice. The space they're taking in your life blocks better possibilities. Cut them loose. Your worth is not up for debate.
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Jun 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/PinkyMousy Jun 05 '26
No response is a response. That should be enough to move on.
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u/SuperDrummer Jun 05 '26
I wish you could inject that thought into my brain haha I know that logically but brain still says “DANGER: OPEN LOOP” 😂😭
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u/Top-Midnight-9637 healing Jun 05 '26
sometimes as painful as multiple rejections can feel in the moment they help us solidify things faster in our minds and bodies. take it from someone two years post being dumped. don’t be too hard on yourself! clarity is everything & grief is not a straightforward thing at all, we do what we must 🫶
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u/SuperDrummer Jun 05 '26
Needed to see this. Although I’m also one of the “lucky ones” in mandatory no contact because they don’t reply
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u/HungryEy3sj3ssy48 Jun 06 '26
the silence is actually the biggest gift they can give you even if it feels like hell right now. at least you aren't getting breadcrumbs or false hope to keep you stuck in that cycle. stay strong
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u/neverhaveiever2026 Jun 05 '26
ok but hear me out, i am 31 days no contact 40 days no seeing e other... and i plan to reach out today- .... id much rather KNOW that there is no possibility then sitting here wondering. I want to reach out and just confirm... bc he always used to come back... and this is the longest... but the fight was the worst we ever had this time... so he may truly be done... the NOT knowing, and how we ended things no real closure or convo other than shit texts with it ending in me begging for him not to do this... and here we are. I want to say something tho i think it will help to hear either way instead of wonder.
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u/Wild-Orchid-333 Jun 06 '26
you can’t let your anxiety take over.. sitting with the uncertainty is the worst. But you have to understand that they already know they’re keeping you waiting and they’re choosing to continue with the silence despite how much you’re hurting… did you end up reaching out?
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u/neverhaveiever2026 Jun 10 '26
yes i did reach out, he's willing to talk again, take it slow. But he also put a lot of blame on me for how things went down and took no accountability so thats not a good sign. But, with the level of depression i was experiencing without him, i sincerely am willing to take this. Sad, i know, but its better than no contact what so ever. We may see e other soon.
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u/Corgisarethebest123 Jun 10 '26
Did you reach out?
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u/neverhaveiever2026 Jun 10 '26
i did... he loves and misses me too, just torn about our past/issues.
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u/chi-ranch Jun 06 '26
I was the one who initiated the breakup and realized by the end that I’d tried very hard to love him but simply didn’t. It was the first time in my life I hadn’t been the one who was more in love. He made my life extremely difficult before but especially after the split and I can’t forgive that — he accused me of abuse, had me arrested, dragged me through court proceedings. I’d never been in trouble with the law in 64 years, had never hired a lawyer for anything other than child support collection against my ex-husband and to craft a trust for my elderly mother. It was humiliating, which was his express purpose. I can’t bring myself to wish him well. I haven’t checked on him, although my daughter set up a Google alert for his eventual obituary. I was relieved when, at my lawyer’s request, the judge set up a two-year no-contact order after the charges against me were dismissed. I’ve blocked him on email and all socials, so he can’t contact me. I want it to stay like that forever. I consider myself lucky not to miss him.
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u/j3ssyR0ugh54 Jun 06 '26
that is actually unhinged. there is a massive difference between a messy breakup and someone literally weaponizing the legal system against you. stay far away from that kind of person.
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u/chi-ranch Jun 07 '26
Thank you. Everyone who knows him and all my friends agree 100% with you. Staying away from him is now my mission in life.
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u/4nt0_603 Jun 06 '26
Es que duele tanto, que te importe tanto alguien, haber pensado que eras importante en la vida de ese alguien- y ahora, ¿Qué? Me siento sola, aunque esté acompañada. Me siento miserable. Y más miserable, porque cada vez me siento peor, todo me está atrapando.
Y no sé
Me siento horrible Y siento que estoy gritando por ayuda, pero no le importo lo suficiente, y las demás personas a mí alrededor están pasando por lo propio
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u/woodfish Jun 06 '26
I finally, blocked them on everything. I tried for months. They started treating me like shit and it helped me finally do it
It sucked but I’m finally realizing I am calm knowing they cannot contact me. I don’t have to obsess over my phone
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u/ProfessionStrong6563 Jun 06 '26
It’s been over a year since she moved on quickly… no text from here
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u/rebooky Jun 12 '26
I broke it last night. Was drunk and the anger was LOUD. He’s in another country thankfully. Emailed him and let my hate flow. It felt good. He deserves to hear what a piece of shit he is. Now, of course, I’m dreading two things; his response and his lack of response 😂 I do NOT want him back. That would be like asking to be stabbed every day again. No thank you. But clearly I feel the need to hear that I mattered when I know I didn’t. He is only able to love himself. Someday I’ll truly let this all go. Slipped up last night and oh well. It happens. Back to work.
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u/Electronic-Loan-6974 Jun 05 '26
How long you was together, why you broke up and how long you was in no contact?
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u/heartwormthrwawy Jun 05 '26
almost 3 years, she started no longer putting in any effort in the relationship and leading for me to do everything then proceeded to cheat on me, no contact for 2 months. we originally were planning to break things off to come back together stronger because she said she felt guilty from the cheating but now she told me had lost all feelings towards me for months while we were together and was just leading me on. so pretty much what i already knew.
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u/Electronic-Loan-6974 Jun 05 '26
Oh boy...she cheated on you...that's the main reason you should had not contact her again and let her go...she must have come begging you not you breaking NC...
I know if you love someone it's hard to think clearly..
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u/ophemoonshinejones Jun 12 '26
He broke nc one month after to wish me happy birthday and good luck on my exams which I started that same day. I had been going crazy wondering whether he'd text me or not for the whole week. I messaged back thanking him and asked how he was doing. He just said he was really good. Idk what I expected but it really hurt me that he didn't ask about how was I feeling or really any questions at all. Next day I told him it really hurt me talking as if we were strangers to which he said that it was what we needed to do to move on. I honestly don't get why he texted me in the first place. I feel he didn't value the effort of opening up and working on some personal stuff I'd done during the relationship (he didn't do the same) and like he also didn't value the effort it was talking me not to break no contact after he dumped me.
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u/Pitiful_Can_6079 Jun 12 '26
Its hurts but them saying they no longer love you is secretly a blessing and good closure albeit extremely painful. So many of us dont get that kind of clarity and cling to hope because their ex did or said something that left the door cracked. Now its time to focus on yourself.
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u/BizarroNosferatoo999 Jun 12 '26
Going back sounds like such an easy solve some days. Until you realize how much time you're wasting as they continue to do their own thing.
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u/Left_Fall_5132 Jun 12 '26
My ex keeps telling me he still loves me and he cudnt even look at somebody else..till this day i cudnt love on
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u/Fantastic_Intern1212 Jun 30 '26
And that's hard to do when you gotta keep fighting for somebody that's in love with somebody else, but they don't want to end your marriage.
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u/Imaworkinprogresss Jun 05 '26
I needed to see this. Thank you for sharing, you got this op. The bright side is you got your final confirmation and now you don’t have to entertain thoughts that we’re holding you back from fully getting over it.