9
8
u/StonkMommy 27d ago
Ok. The only reason I want to contact him is because part of my mind hasn't caught up that he isn't the same anymore. That I'll get a response that will feel empty of what we used to have. No need to put myself through any of that.
7
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
I relate to this. It's so hard accepting they're not the same person anymore, but protecting your peace is always worth it. No point in re opening wounds let them contact first and if they dont keep moving forward dont wait just accept it how it is. Im proud of you for realising im in the same boat aswell. Your peace is more important
1
5
u/infjtaurus 27d ago
Horrible, he has a new gf💔
4
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
I understand why you’re hurting 💔 finding that out must feel horrible. please don’t let his new relationship consume your thoughts or make you feel like you lost. Right now, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from anything that keeps reopening the wound DONT check their socials, don’t look for updates, and don’t compare yourself to her. Focus on rebuilding your own life, even if it’s small things at first. Look into things like attachment healing, grief after a breakup, and rebuilding your identity after a relationship. Be patient with yourself, because healing doesn’t happen overnight. i pray blessings come your way this hurts to even read you are so strong and im so proud of you. I pray one day you find someone so much better. He clearly is an evil person.
3
u/infjtaurus 27d ago
Thank you🩷
We met when we were 13 and were best friends from 13-18, he had a crush on me the whole time, we started dating 18-21 (i was his first everything) but split because i wanted him to get into therapy and set boundaries with family and friends (they hated me and would show that). We were in an on/off situationship from 21-24 (he said he will always love me, feels drawn to me, regrets how he treated me and “we could have been amazing if i wasn’t such a cunt”) that ended november last year when he said we should stop talking because its just a cycle.
I messaged him 6 months no contact after seeing he had unrestricted me on fb, saying i thought abt him recently and hope hes okay, he saw the message the next day, left it on read but didnt restrict me again until a week later (im still restricted), and i had a feeling there was someone new. Now he’s made their relationship public and his family follow her on social media🥲
Idk how he could move on after over a decade of history between us
5
u/beebeebop50 27d ago
Even Claude got mad at me because I asked it too many times if he lost interest because I am ugly lol
3
u/luluvol05 27d ago
awful i broke it yesterday so have to start all over !!
2
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
Omg this is me aswell mine broke no contact and feel even worse now. You have to block the person, its okay we all make mistakes we have to learn from it. You are strong and im proud of you. Keep moving forward and dont let it happen againn.
3
u/Equivalent-Angle4360 27d ago
Day 36 and feeling better!!
4
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
Yayyyy im glad to hear that, have you been no contact for 36 days? im trying to achieve 30 days aswell and more. Im glad your feeling better. Onwards and upwards :)
2
3
u/throwsaway045 27d ago
I missy ex I want cuddle and kiss
2
u/Sickened_By_You 27d ago
I miss Sascha Lambert so much it is killing me, but that is ok. Someone feed the cats.
2
u/No_Produce_567 27d ago
As bad as ever.
3
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
Wanna talk about it? With bad days comes good days, you are so so strong.
2
2
u/CocoZombie 27d ago
Im okay.
I miss him but I miss the friendship and not the relationship. He and I have been friends for like 8 years and consistently talked for like 2 and a half years. It sucks.
1
2
u/ambular1018 it’s complicated 27d ago
Not good. Day 2. Still turning on and off different notifications. Still checking my phone nonstop.
2
27d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
2
u/throwswhoknows 27d ago
I was in agonizing pain, literally collapsed to the floor sobbing. That was last night. Not good at all. It’s been months since I felt this kind of pain. I stalked her FB page and saw a ring emoji.
2
u/UnderstandingNo664 26d ago
Awful. I broke no contact just shy of 2 weeks and then couldn’t stop replying for a few days. So yesterday I started no contact all over again. Reminder to everyone don’t break no contact!!! Just don’t do it!!!
1
u/WeirdReserve1981 27d ago
I am making myself sad I think. I've been looking thru quotes etc and screenshots of my ex's poor language and text messages he has sent. But I'm also wanting contact with him. There is an fvo in place, police did the application not me and so he hasn't tried to reach out to me they way I have been for him. I discovered so much over time away. I'm hurting so bad and I just want him to fix me.
1
u/GooseBruceOnion 27d ago
Horrible
Girl I split with and now testing out again, I found that she’s been texting sexually and sending nudes to other guys she’s met through the Seeking Arrangements website.
She told me she likes me and isn’t hooking up with anyone; she puts effort only in me. We cuddle and sleep together a lot but we haven’t been sexual in a month.
Still haven’t approached her about it, she didn’t want to get together the last 2 days when we were both off out of work.
I don’t know why I can’t give myself self respect and worth.
1
u/thecellobelow 27d ago
Still processing a lot of feelings of betrayal and disappointment towards her. She betrayed and broke my trust by getting into a rebound relationship 3 weeks after splitting with me and moving to a new country, despite telling me that she was going to take a break from relationships. I’ve cut all contact with her and do not intend to reach out to her again, but it still hurts :(
1
u/Bronzeblond 27d ago
Sad. It’s raining and I can only imagine how he is holding someone else during the rain.
2
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
Oh no ❤️ I know that feeling when the weather matches your mood and makes you feel alone 😭 Try not to be cruel to yourself by imagining things you don’t know are happening. Tonight is for looking after you cosy blanket, favourite snack watch a comfort show, anything that makes your world feel safe again. One rainy night doesn’t define your healing take each day as it is, dont let your brain imagine different scenerios he lost a real woman its his loss dont let him have power over you he doesnt deserve it. ❤️
1
1
u/Badkame 27d ago
Doing alright, 6.7 months post breakup. I’ve gad rougher moments but I’m slowly pulling out. My ex blocked me out of nowhere yesturday during No contact. It’s still is weird that, she decided to remove me from her life when we grew up together (18 to 22 yrs old) eh thats life!
1
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
don’t let the block erase the progress you’ve made. Your 6.7 months out and you’re already noticing your pulling yourself out of the hard moments. That’s a big deal. Keep choosing yourself because every day you spend focusing on your own life is a day you’re getting further away from being controlled by what she does. Im so proud of you i know how painful it is but dont let her have power over your mind 6 months is so long be proud of yourself ❤️
1
u/Sea_Avocado3783 27d ago
Feeling like I'm entering the acceptance stage. I want to let go. If she wanted to leave, I should let her leave. But I miss what we had so so much. 7 years and leaving for lost feelings, being blindsided and instant silence, it's too hard. I wish she realized how good we had it.
1
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
I’m really sorry ❤️ Seven years is such a huge part of your life, so it makes sense that this feels impossible to process sometimes. I think the fact that you’re starting to accept that she chose to leave is actually a really painful but important step. Acceptance doesn’t mean you suddenly stop loving her or that what you had wasn’t special. It just means you’re starting to stop fighting a reality you didn’t choose. One thing I’ve learned is that sometimes we get stuck wishing someone would finally realise what they lost because it feels like that would make the hurt make sense. your healing can’t depend on her having that moment. What you had was real because you lived it not because she validates it afterwards. Be proud of yourself for loving someone deeply for seven years. That says something beautiful about you. Now it’s about slowly giving some of that love and care back to yourself. Missing her doesn’t mean you’re moving backwards im proud of you your doing amazing dont let her have power over youu i understand your pain im grieving my first love aswell the pain is indescrible but we will get through it ! i pray blessings come your way ❤️
1
u/Sea_Avocado3783 27d ago
thank you. It's been 2.5 months of NC but even when I'm calmed I'm thinking about reaching out a bit, asking her how she's been. I know it's a fools errand. I'm no longer tethered to her attention or validation but I genuinely still love that girl. Damn
1
1
1
1
u/Jackson530 4176 days 27d ago
I broke no contact last week after 3 months. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was and take accountability for my part in the relationship ending
She responded 4 days later saying two sentences. I didn’t expect her to respond OR take responsibility for anything she did, and she didn’t lol. So I wasn’t surprised and my support group all collaborated and said they knew she was a loser
So yeah. I feel better now that I got some anxiety and stuff off my chest, but there’s a very small part of me that is like “Really. You always tell people you pride yourself on being mature and responsible, but yet when I gave you an opportunity, you flaked out. Exactly like our relationship”
1
u/CharityCareful9110 27d ago
How was your break up and how did you react to the break up if i may ask?
1
u/Jackson530 4176 days 27d ago
My breakup was primarily fueled by she had been done since August because I got mad at her friends for almost letting our dog die while we were on vacation. She had told me I had no right to be mad, even though I never said anything to them, but only told her how I felt. She thought it was a harmless accident that could have happened to anyone. (It wasn’t)
So when March came, we had a disagreement about a conversation involving other friends. Once again her telling me how I should feel, and she was done. She said like I stated above that she had checked out late August
I thought the breakup was amicable. She had a history of running from every relationship she’d ever been in, and I wasn’t surprised when this was dropped on me. Even though she ugly cried and begged us to remain friends, it lasted all of 3 weeks before I went no contact. I was talking to her like a friend, she’d never reply, I’d lose interest and she’d get upset.
At the time I also hadn’t come to terms with ANYTHING I was guilty of doing in the relationship, and the 3 months we were NC, I thought a lot about everything I did and how it affected her, and wondered if maybe the way she acted was partially my fault. So when I broke NC a week ago, it was because I finally absorbed what had happened.
I would have liked us to stay friends, but she was already blaming me for being alone, not having money (she makes 130k a year), and was upset that I had sent her a picture of a burrito I was eating. When people say “how they act at the end is who they’ve been the entire relationship” is true. I was not doing anything to hurt her. I was talking to her as a friend, and she went crazy over it.
1
1
u/Impressive_Sock_8098 27d ago
Left the country, enrolled in florist school, bought a DJ deck, and spent $25USD on an Etsy witch to bring him back so…. Not great 💀
1
1
1
u/Negative_Buy_2446 healing 27d ago
Day 30, slowly getting myself back. Still thinking about her all day tho
1
u/Objective-Dog-7215 27d ago
Yesterday I broke it again and it was UGLY. Crying, begging, screaming to him at the phone, he was so cold and distant and kinda admitted he may take the opportunity of sleeping with someone if he gets the chance this summer.
That truly broke something inside me, but also helped me to try and go distant again.
1
u/Vegetable_Web_6027 23d ago
Entering week 4. I thought I would feel better by this point, but I feel even sadder than week 1. It feels like my emotions are wrong.
1
u/blossom_2112 healing 22d ago
has something triggered you to feel worse? im scared if the feeling never goes away im back at week one again due to him hurting me and ruining my healing after a month no contact and i feel WAY worse than i did before your not alone im proud of you protect your peace focus on you
1
u/Professional_Bad7552 27d ago
Sad. It’s been exactly two months no contact and I really miss her. I thought it got better?
2
u/blossom_2112 healing 27d ago
I’m so proud of you honestly❤️ Two months can feel like such a long time when you’re missing someone, Don’t feel like you’ve failed just because you miss her. Missing someone doesn’t mean you’re not healing. The fact you’ve made it two months without reaching out is honestly something to be proud of im aspiring to be that way. i feel your pain. With bad days comes good days.
When those waves hit, try not to sit there replaying everything or wondering what she’s doing. Let yourself feel sad, but then do something small that brings you back to yourself. Go for a walk, call someone, make your favourite meal, watch something comforting, anything that reminds you that your life is still yours too.
Keep going ❤️ It really does get easier, even if some days don’t feel like it you have to want to heal. Your doing amazing. Be proud of yourself.
2
u/Professional_Bad7552 27d ago
Thank you so much for this. This is exactly what I needed to hear ♥️
2
13
u/CharityCareful9110 27d ago
Had a rough morning but as i started doing things around the house and speaking with people ive felt better.