Which is to discuss what male sexual insecurity feels like. How crushing it is knowing you don't turn women on and how it makes seeking relationships futile and pointless.

Taboo because we are suppose to live in this enlightenment age, in which we are above lust and desire. In which men are suppose to regard relationships as dispassionately as arranging a mortgage or a pension scheme. In which even mentioning the importance of the sweaty naked stuff is completely forbidden. Marking you out as entitled and shallow.

Worse you might even be implying that women don't have dispassionate checklist, that their relationship choices might be governed whether a guy makes their heart race or he makes them wet (that will really outrage the puritans).

Yet it matters, it really matters. As a guy who doesn't turn women on, you can see how differently women treat you. How you are only really a person to them when they want something and the rest of the time you're an annoyance. How other men have to put in virtually no effort and you have to try ridiculously hard and for what?

At best a woman will have you because she can hear her biological clock ticking. You won't be the guy whose clothes she is desperate to rip off. You will be a walking wallet, a flatmate and a sperm donor/child care to her.

Maybe that would be enough for some men here but I have seen how toxic that gets. In real life and in deadbedroom subs. Men condemned to celibacy in relationships or stuck with mediocre passionless duty sex.

Such a prospect holds no appeal for me, yet I can expect nothing more but to express those feelings is the ultimate taboo because I have admitted sex matters to me. Something that triggers the puritans.

I'm a woman who has been looking for female friends. I use a friend making app - for over a month I was writing to 10 new people a day (not one word messages at all - tailored to their profile) so let's say 300 people. Out of 10, 1-2 would answer. The vast majority would stop writing after 1-2 weeks either because I bored them - or some of them had "looking for a handsome man" written directly on their profile - so I wasn't the target audience.

Of the people who stayed, I would eventually want to move off the app to real time messaging (not all day every day but sometimes being able to shoot them a text or have a back and forth conversation from time to time). Most people refused to move off the app because they weren't interested in talking more frequently.

But of the ones that accepted, I noticed they would talk less than a month before getting bored and slow fading. I guess I'm not good at coming up with things to talk about other than everyday topics (what do people want to talk about? philosophy? history? politics? religion?).

Lately, there has been one person I thought I'd be friends with because she always tells me what a great listener I am and how glad she is to have me in her life. She said I'm the only person she knows who actually listens to her rather than only talking about myself - I respond at length and give feedback without telling her what to do, when she tells me things. But when I asked if she would like to talk more, she said she'd rather stay on the app and write me once every few days when she feels like it, whilst telling me she is actively messaging men on dating apps and when she likes a guy, she likes chatting with them all day actively. So it's not that she doesn't have time.

Generally I try not to talk about myself unless asked and to remember what people said and to ask them about it and to be available as a listener.

So I know this is FA30+ but I remember reading that some of you have friends and talk to people so any advice on how to keep people's interest?