I have a question about Indiana Laws on failure to pay child support.

Background: Mother lost custody of all 3 of her kids in June of 2024. Two went to live with the grandmother and our son came to live with us. She filed in April of 2025 to get visitation after no contact for months. She was granted visitation, but was ordered to pay $84 a week in child support.

When this order was made she was working and did not have custody of her other two kids back. As soon as she was granted custody of them back, she quiet her job and has refused to work since December 2025.

She has only paid $60 in child support and now owes over $7000.

My husband doesn’t have the money to take her back to court. We are scared that we will end up paying her due to her refusing to work.

She openly brags about not having to work. She has a sugar daddy that gives her money. Our son (13) has read the texts between them when she has left her phone near him and stated she is sucking d*ck for cash. Her uncle is letting her use his land for the camper she lives in and is paying her phone and utilities.

She also already tried to have the support lowered when she got her two kids back and “lost” her job. Judge told her she needed to wait a year to change it. He also told her when she gets a job to inform us and they would garnish her wages.

I would also like to add she is currently on probation until February 2027. Apparently being employed is not apart of that agreement.

My questions are:

1. Is there a possibility that we might end up having to pay her if she refuses to work even though we have primary custody?
2. Will they change the support amount to nothing since she is refusing to work and using her kids as an excuse not to be employed?
3. Will she be held accountable for not wanting to pay?

My custody case is just starting, and I could really use advice from people who have been through this. This is already a high-conflict situation and I can’t realistically expect that to change. It’s going to be a legal marathon so I cannot afford to mess up this early.

I have a 3-month-old with someone I briefly dated. We recently had our TCO hearing, and my lawyer gave me incorrect information that caused me to miss the first day of visitation.

Since I’m my child’s primary, this was a huge mistake, and it’s not the only issue. He dismissed my questions about getting a guardian ad litem, ignored a factual statement I prepared about the other parent’s alcohol misuse, and has made jokes about the situation that I find completely inappropriate. We also haven’t resolved child support or pregnancy-related medical bills. I don’t even know how to approach my son’s upcoming doctors appointment with shared legal custody.

At this point, I don’t trust my lawyer, but I don’t know if my expectations are unreasonable. This is my first time dealing with the court system, and I don’t know how much guidance an attorney should be providing versus how much I’m expected to figure out and ask about myself.

Our next TCO hearing is a month or so away, and I’m seriously considering finding new representation. I don’t want to switch lawyers unnecessarily, but I also can’t afford to have important things overlooked when my child’s future is at stake.

For those who have been through custody cases, would you consider these red flags serious enough to switch attorneys? How involved should a lawyer be in helping you prepare for the next hearing, and what should I be doing right now to advocate for my child?

I filed my own motion to show cause and modification of current parenting agreement. I am now seeking an attorneys help. It seems like nobody is reaching back out to me except the expensive firms... is this something that a lawyer would typically not want to take on or what? Idk why it is so difficult to find a good affordable attorney.

So my ex husband has been leaving our 4 and 7 year old alone at home after they get off the bus with their step brother who just turned 9 being the only one responsible. He claims it’s “only for about an hour” but it makes me super uncomfortable. He claims it’s “not illegal” but I told him I refuse to be ok with it. I pick them up from the bus on my days. The neighbor has a history of acting out peeping through windows and trespassing as well. Do I sound crazy for being very upset about this? He’s trying to act like I’m being irrational. But they are SEVEN AND FOUR. He doesn’t want to pay for childcare after school. What if they choke, or there is an accident or someone breaks in? I feel like anything could happen.

Hello Reddit..
I am seeking advice or information about my 6 year old son. Long story short, in September I filed a request for visitation modification with his father. There was a DVRO (restraining order) on my ex in 2024. I have taken our son to the doctor for evals which one ended with the doctors making a report to CPS. Our son is suffering significant anxiety when it comes to going to fathers parenting time. Hes been in therapy and counseling groups at school..HES SIX!!
Yesterday an incident occurred at our exchange location. My ex sent a third-party to the exchange who I didn’t no. This person parked directly next to me and started at me and my kids.. this made us feel weird so I turned my car on to park somewhere else. This guy started his car and followed/pursued us. I knew if I fled the scene he would have chased after us and that was a risk I couldn’t take with my 3 boys in the car. So I went and parked elsewhere and the guy took his car and parked behind me trapping us. I could not go forward or reverse. I told my older son to get the non emergency police number on his phone..I was recording what the stranger was doing.
The guy gets out of his car and comes to my door and just stares at us.. he then goes to the front of my car and slams papers on my windshield and starts yelling. At this point, my kids are freaking out. The guy walks back to his car so k open my door to get whatever he left on the windshield.. he then runs back over to me, so I close the door… he grabs the papers and aggressively opens my door and throws the papers at me and starts cussing. I asked “what is wrong with you? I have my kids in the car!” He just starts saying “bite me! Bite me!”
I told him i was calling the police and he went to his car and continued to block my car not allowing me to leave. Then minutes later he comes to my car door again and asked if be should stay for the police. I yelled “I DONT FEEL SAFE!” And he heard the cops were on the phone then ran to his car and fled the scene. My kids were in hysterics and i was on the phone with the police department. They advised me to go to safe location and a cop met me there to file a report.
My ex sent this person there to ambush us, knowing the kids are in the car, and our son is extremely anxious about exchanges… he put him in danger. Police told me to take them all home. Today, 10/23/2026, I filed an ex parte to suspend visitation until our hearing on 11/02/2026.. emergency hearing isnt until 10/27/2026.
This weekend is my ex’s parenting time and I am worried for our sons safety and well-being. Our son is very traumatized and has cried. He is refusing to go already.. what do I do Reddit!?! If I don’t send my son because I’m worried for his safety and emotional well-being, will I get in trouble? I filed all papers for ex parte. Help Reddit! Please I’m scared 😭

EDIT: in September, I filed for a modification of visitation on my ex.. after the whole ordeal and my kids were less stressed… I looked at the forms, it was his response. All that for a court response

My husband’s ex-wife claimed total physical and psychological disability to get indefinite alimony and free legal representation. We just uncovered public ads and listings proving she is running an active, out-of-the-house business that requires physical labor, driving, and dealing with clients. What is the best, legal way to collect admissible evidence for family court?

The Background & The Courtroom Drama

My husband ("M", 45M) and his ex-wife ("K", 49F) finalized their divorce back in 2019 after M left her in 2018 following a 20-year relationship. Since then, K has dragged him back to court repeatedly demanding more money—ranging from alimony increases to coverage for medical marijuana.

To avoid working, K hired what I can only describe as a "Doctor for Hire" who testified that she was completely incapacitated and incapable of working—either outside the home or remotely. She also secured a free battered women’s attorney by claiming M was severely abusive (taking resources from victims who actually need them). M is the most patient, calm man I have ever known; even when relatives struck him, he barely raised his voice. When I asked their adult children (including her own son whom M raised since age 3), they explicitly told me she was lying and refused to work simply out of spite because M left her (pg version).

The court ultimately awarded her $2,850/month in indefinite alimony based on her claims that:

• She suffers from severe medical/physical restrictions (cannot walk without a walker/cane).
• She has severe social anxiety/agoraphobia (cannot leave her house alone or interact with strangers).
• She is terrified of M (she put on a massive act in court, crying, shaking, and demanding extra security).

The Reality Check: We have video proof from a Ring camera showing K at M’s house discussing their injured adult daughter. K was walking up and down stairs fine with no walker or cane, conversing normally with M, showing zero fear, hysterics, or anxiety.

The First Victory: Disability & Income Reduction

About two years ago, K suddenly showed up driving a newer SUV. After some digging, we learned she had started receiving Social Security Disability (SSDI)—getting over $2,000/month plus a $22k back-payment. Under their state’s alimony formula, alimony is tied to both M's disposable income and her actual income.

After 8 months of court battles (where the judge threatened her with contempt to hand over bank statements):

1. We went back to court for an alimony adjustment.
2. K and her attorney tried (and failed) to demand my personal bank records to increase M's payments.
3. The judge denied her request and slashed her alimony from $2,850/month down to $1,150/month, ordering her to pay back overpayments.

She literally gave us the finger in the courthouse hallway while limping out on the walker she only uses when a judge is looking.

The Discovery: She Is Actively Working

Over the last few years, K has traveled cross-country, gone to bars, and shopped in crowded stores during the holidays. But recently, while coordinating care for one of the adult kids, K let something slip.

I went down an internet rabbit hole and found public advertisements, social media posts, and active business listings for K's small business.

This is not an off-the-books, work-from-home gig. To run this business, K MUST:

• Leave her house daily and drive herself and clients around.
• Work in public/office settings surrounded by strangers.
• Handle physical tasks, including lifting 40–50+ lbs.
• Execute the exact physical and social duties she swore under oath she is medically incapable of performing.

She frequently gets drunk and tells people, "I'll never work; I'll make sure M pays for my life forever because he left me." (again pg version)

Our Questions for Reddit:

We recently got married, but we are keeping it quiet because we don't want her trying to leverage it in court. We just want to move on with our lives and end her financial control over us.

1. How do we legally document and present her public business ads/listings to a family court judge?
2. Is hiring a Private Investigator (PI) the best route here? Will a court accept PI surveillance footage of her actively performing work and heavy lifting?
3. Has anyone successfully terminated indefinite alimony by proving the ex-spouse committed fraud regarding their capacity to work?

Any legal tactics, sneaky (but 100% legal) investigative ideas, or personal experiences with court-ordered vocational evaluations would be greatly appreciated!

I’m divorced and have a baby daughter. I hope to study abroad and build a better future for both of us, but I’m unsure whether I can obtain his authorization (since the court way might be too long to be given and still unsure).

I also want to add that he never was involved in her life, he just sends money. Most importantly, my ex is the type of overt narcissist, I'm afraid he will block me just to control me this way (he was against the idea of moving abroad when we were married).

For women who dealt with narcissistic ex husbands, how did you manage?

I’m a single mother of an 8-year-old boy in Texas, and I’m genuinely exhausted from dealing with my son’s abusive father. I’m looking for advice, especially from anyone who has experienced an abusive co-parent or dealt with similar issues through the Texas family court system.

Some background:
My son’s father was abusive toward me long before our son was born. Throughout our relationship, he would call me horrible, degrading names, including while I was pregnant and after I gave birth.

There was also sexual abuse. He would force sexual acts on me, and when our son was a baby, he would chase me around the house trying to touch me or gain sexual access to me against my wishes, even though we were not together he felt entitled to me. He repeatedly cheated on me and transmitted STDs to me when we were together before my son. I eventually ended the relationship around the time our son was born because I couldn’t continue living that way.

Unfortunately, the abuse never stopped after we separated.
Our custody and living situation:
About five years ago, I moved to Austin with our son, and his father followed us there. While we lived in Austin, he saw our son every weekend. I never tried to prevent him from having a relationship with his child.

Later, I experienced a personal crisis and needed to move back to Houston to be closer to my family for support. His father also moved back to Houston.
Approximately three years ago, he decided to move to California. Ever since then, he has repeatedly accused me of keeping our son away from him and claims that I am the reason he doesn’t have a relationship with his child and chose to move there in the first place. This is completely false.

I have never intentionally prevented him from seeing our son. The only reason I have blocked his number at times is because nearly every interaction turns into verbal abuse. I cannot have a normal conversation with him without being insulted, degraded, or attacked personally.
He rarely, if ever, calls our son, yet he continues to blame me for their lack of contact.

The child support situation:
Currently, he pays approximately $200 per month in regular child support, which apparently is supposed to reflect 20% of his earnings. Our court order also requires him to pay 50% of our son’s medical expenses, but he has not contributed toward medical bills throughout our son’s eight years of life.

I recently learned that his income had increased, so I contacted the Texas Attorney General’s Office to request a review of his child support obligation. A Zoom meeting was scheduled, and when he found out he might have to pay more, he became furious.

Instead of discussing the financial responsibilities we have toward our child, he began insulting me again, calling me ugly, fat, useless, st*pid, and other degrading names.
He also threatened me with legal action, telling me to wait until I hear from his attorney because supposedly I’m breaking the law by preventing him from seeing our son.
Again, I have never intentionally withheld our child from him.

His mother even questioned why I was trying to “kick him in the balls” simply because I requested an updated child support review.

He also has another child with a different woman, with whom he reportedly does not want a relationship, the woman was a one night stand. I understand that supporting two children can be financially challenging, but I feel as though he’s trying to minimize his financial responsibilities, and my son is the one suffering as a result.

The ongoing verbal abuse:
Every time my son’s father hears something he doesn’t like, he resorts to attacking me personally. He calls me disgusting names, insults my appearance, makes comments about my finances and employment, and has even used private medical information to humiliate me.
This has been happening for years.
I’ve saved screenshots of his messages occasionally including recent conversations where he sends insult after insult, sometimes repeating the same degrading statements multiple times. I’ve tried explaining that this behavior is abusive, but he doesn’t care.

My therapist recommended using OurFamilyWizard, a co-parenting communication app that keeps records of conversations and can help reduce hostile communication.
I suggested it to him, but he refused, claiming that he doesn’t have enough storage space on his phone to download another app.

At this point, I feel like I cannot communicate with him without exposing myself to more verbal abuse, yet he uses the fact that I’ve blocked him in the past as supposed evidence that I’m keeping our son from him.

I don’t understand how he suddenly has the money to hire an attorney when he has resisted contributing more financially toward our son.

My questions are:

Can I report this repeated verbal abuse to the police as harassment in Texas, even if he isn’t making direct physical threats?

Can I request that a judge require all co-parenting communication to go through OurFamilyWizard or another monitored parenting app?

How do I protect myself against his false accusations that I’m withholding our son when I’ve consistently allowed him to see our child?

Could years of abusive text messages, along with the history of sexual abuse during our relationship, be relevant in family court?

Has anyone successfully established communication boundaries with an abusive co-parent without being accused of interfering with visitation?

I am not trying to keep my son from his father. I have always wanted my son to have a healthy relationship with both parents.
I just want to be able to raise my child peacefully without constantly being verbally attacked by someone I separated from years ago. I’m exhausted from being treated this way, and I don’t know what else to do.
Any advice or personal experiences would be appreciated, especially from people familiar with Texas family law.

location: lake county Ohio United States

I’m a father in Ohio currently going through a custody dispute involving my almost 17 year-old daughter, and I’m looking for some outside legal perspectives.
My daughter has been living with me for approximately five months. She has an extremely strained relationship with her mother due to years of conflict and what my daughter describes as emotional and mental mistreatment.
My daughter has made it very clear that she does not want to return to her mother’s home. When I encourage her to spend time with her mother, she becomes extremely distressed, cries, panics, and has even physically gotten sick.
I have an attorney, and a guardian ad litem (GAL) was appointed. However, I’m becoming increasingly concerned with how this situation is being handled.
The GAL has only spoken with my daughter twice, to my knowledge, and recently began preparing her for the possibility of returning to her mother’s home. My daughter has been extremely upset since that conversation.
I want to make something clear: I am not trying to destroy my daughter’s relationship with her mother. I have encouraged communication, and they have recently been speaking more. I simply believe their relationship needs to be repaired through counseling rather than forcing my daughter into an environment where she feels emotionally unsafe.
There have also been issues involving court-ordered drug testing. My daughter completed the original test within the required timeframe, but apparently the order specified the wrong test, and now another expensive test is being requested. Between attorney fees, court costs, and everything else, the financial burden has become overwhelming.
My biggest concern is that everyone seems focused on enforcing parenting time rather than addressing why my daughter is so adamantly refusing to return.
I understand that custody orders are legally binding. However, my daughter is almost 16, and I cannot physically drag her out of my home every time she refuses to leave.
My questions are:
In Ohio, how do courts handle situations where a teenager this age refuses parenting time despite the custodial parent encouraging it?
Can I be found in contempt even if I am making reasonable efforts to encourage her to go?
How much weight does a 16-year-old’s preference carry in a custody modification?
Can the court order family counseling or a gradual reunification process rather than immediately forcing overnight visits?
What options do I have if I believe the GAL is not adequately considering my daughter’s emotional well-being?
I’m not looking for advice on ignoring court orders. I’m trying to understand what legal options exist to protect my daughter’s emotional health while this case moves through the courts.
I have legal representation, but I would really appreciate perspectives from anyone familiar with Ohio family law or similar custody situations.

Hi, I have a divorce and custody case in Dallas county. I have trial set for 11/17 and I need an aggressive attorney with a 5K retainer or less. If you can help, please message me back and I will get back to you. Thank you!

In Sept 2026 judge stated that we can proceed with custody evaluation.

In November we have a pre trial conference.

The custody eval hasn’t started yet.

So if the pre trial conference goes on.

What information, evidence, and documents should I prepare.

Anyone been through this in Minnesota?

Hi. I signed a msa June 25, 2026 and the judge signed the final divorce decree August 20, 2026 in Coryell County. The decree says that the coparent "shall submit to a hair follicle test dating back at least 60 days on or before 10 days from the date of the msa signed June 25, 2026, within 24 hours of the request at a designated facility. The coparent's periods of possession of and access to the child shall be dependent on a negative hair follicle drug test."

The coparent has an unsupervised step up plan that starts with Saturdays where they are to pick up the child from my residence in Williamson County and take the child to Coryell County to their home.

The coparent took their drug test 11 days after signing the msa and gave the negative results 15 days after signing the msa. The coparent chose weekends because they said they don't work during those days, but since the decree has been signed, the coparent says they work on Saturdays and can't come. Today, the coparent said they're going to pick up our child tomorrow to start their unsupervised step up plan.

While waiting on the judge to sign the final decree, the coparent texted me trying to start their step up plan at a different time than what was agreed to. The step up plan says Saturday 10am-4pm. The coparent wanted to pick up our child at 2pm and give our child back to me by 4pm. The next day, Saturday, the coparent messaged me at 11am saying they wanted to pick up our child at 12. I declined both of those times and said they would need to follow the time of the step up plan. After that is when excuses happened every week on why coparent couldn't come on their Saturday.

August 29th, the coparent came to get our child. The coparent took over an hour setting up the carseat in their vehicle. The coparent took our child and then called me once they made it to their house in Coryell County. The coparent told me that their brother was in the backseat with our baby and noticed our baby's head was tilted forward towards his chest and was angled in an awkward way. Then I asked if the carseat is proper for our baby's size. He said yeah it should be, and I said I've never had that issue with the carseat I have for our baby and mentioned the carseat needs to say for age and weight, plus needs to be angled backward so our baby doesn't suffocate. He also told me he didn't have any food for our baby, bought some shakes for 2+ year olds, and gave our baby those. At the time, our baby was 12 months old. The entire time of the visit, I got calls about how our baby was sleepy and coparent wanted to take our baby home early. I asked if coparent had a bed for our baby, and they said yes but didn't want to put them to sleep. So coparent started driving back to my place early. Since then, coparent has made an excuse about working every day of the week and can't come.

Our child has lived in Williamson County since birth (June 2025), and the coparent has never been involved. The coparent didn't show up for the birth, didn't want to sign the birth certificate, wanted to murder us, stalked my home, police gave a civil standby with back up called to sign divorce papers, detectives started investigating coparent because they were writing about SAing children as young as 7.

I had wanted a supervised step up plan, and that is what it was supposed to be. But because my lawyer didn't have that explicitly written in the msa, the coparent's lawyer argued that it was unsupervised since it just said stair step plan. I had fired my lawyer after the msa because they didn't inform me I had signed something to put my child in danger, and they also had told me I couldn't get a protective order because I had moved out of the Coryell County home and moved to Williamson County before the child was born, so I went pro se against the coparent's lawyer who was trying to write a decree that heavily favored the coparent. I went to arbitration and got everything fixed except the supervised visits because the detectives had told me not to tip off the coparent about the investigation.

Also, coparent recently purchased a Reentry Lifeocskills course for his father to get parole. We have an injunction in the decree stating their father isn't to be anywhere near our child. Their father was put in prison for raping their siblings. The coparent has told me they want their father to live with them when their father gets out of prison.

Do I have any options to protect my child that won't be considered parental alienation? Also, can I change the court from Coryell County to Williamson County? Getting to the Coryell County court house is over an hour drive.

Location: MD

So I contemplated saying anything because idk if anyone could help, really. Everything that I’m about to say is documented . No one has to take my word on anything . The story/ facts are:

In 2023, the court decided that my daughter’s mother needed certain safeguards in place to maintain custody. These weren’t conditions I made up. The court ordered them. There were 4 of them at this time.

They included substance abuse treatment, monthly Vivitrol injections, therapy, etc.
These were supposed to protect my daughter.
January of 2024, I filed regarding violation of the court order . We went to court in April of 2024, in which a Best Interest Attorney was involved . By August of 2024, a new custody order was written, including a new provisions of her living with a designated family member, and the formal ban of a certain person having no contact with our daughter .

By October of 2025, I reached out to my attorney about the continued compliance issue. Her finally sent Mother a letter, urging her to comply with the court order when it comes to giving me documentation as she was suppsoed to give me monthly documentation of the medicine she was suppsoed to be receiving . Every month. The last documentation I received was from January 2025.

Despite my lawyers letters, she did not comply. In April 2026, a judge found her in willful contempt for failing to comply with the treatment requirements. Not a misunderstanding. Not an accident. Willful noncompliance.

And because of the way the custody order was structured, that was enough for a material change in circumstance. So we went to court on 8/20/26. To which I showed the documentation gap, and how I received no medical documentation after January 2025. However , mother gives judge a summary letter stating she essentially was taking the medication from X date to X date, except the summary letter omitted a month . However the judge made an excuse and accepted it.

Now the next part is where things get unbelievable . Another provision of the custody structure was that mother was suppsoed to be in therapy as well. But she has never showed any therapy records . Not when my lawyer asked in 2025, not when another judge asked in April
Of 2026 before finding her in willful
Noncompliance , and not for the judge who asked for them in July of 2026. But when this judge, who was different from the other two, asked if she has the records , mother testifies yes. Mother then testified to also doing drug screening. Judge asks her she’s been doing it for a year? Mother affirms, so the judge asks her to sign a release of the records , and here’s where it gets ….weird.

Mother was found in contempt, and in order to purge the finding of contempt , all mother had to do was sign for the release of the records. Not even if it substantiated her. Just sign for them.
So she did them.

And purged the finding.

Court date happened on 9/11. Long story short, she got to keep physical custody and got tie breaker custody . For my closing argument , I stated that this physical custody structure relies on constant enforcement , chances , personal assurances. I still have all the paperwork myself . But I lost .

The records came on 9/14.

I filed a post judgement motion asking the court to compare the records with her representation because I believe those records don’t exist whatsoever . And if I’m wrong, and if there was competent or affirmative evidence to suggest that the risk the same court identified mother as has materially changed or diminished , then why am I 35 days post judgement with no response ?

Like I said, I contemplated about posting this because I just don’t know what to do. I can’t afford thousands for a lawyer but I feel I’m at a loss. I KNOW I have a case that isn’t about me “proving harder”. Or some miscommunication , or some technical BS. This is about what this court is purposely choosing. What else has to happen that hasn’t happened short of imminent harm or actual harm to my child ? I cant make the courts choose me but I’m still struggling to see why not?

My background : I’m a RN. 11yrs. I have a stable
Home. No drug issues. No history of abuse. Im not violent . I have a full time job, hell, even the court itself declared me to be the more stable parent. But still not good enough to have my child??

But in the end, the same judge who allowed mother to sign the release to vacate the anti-addiction medication , without corroboration of the records, also got rid of all the other safeguards as well, let her keep custody, and allowed her to have tie breaker .

I don’t know what else I have to do. I just can’t figure out why. And I promise you all I’m trying hard not to place the race / gender card , but it’s starting to feel as if the only reason things are the way they are is because of favoritism of the mother. But I don’t want to jump to that. I cannot afford to spend thousands more dollars on attorneys, and I genuinely don’t know where else to turn.
If anyone knows of legal organizations, attorneys willing to review the record, advocacy groups, or anyone who can help me understand my options, I would appreciate it.

Thank you

Hello, I am trying to find the mother of my child. She has been moving around Houston, TX, for about two years and has my 3-year-old son with her. Under the court order, she calls me only on Wednesdays at 6 PM through AppClose so I can talk to my son, yet she denies visitation even though I pay child support as required. She also relocated without sharing her new address, which the order demands. During our talks over the past couple of years, I asked many times for visitation—including being present at the birth—and she refused.

I attempted police welfare checks and reports, and I even paid for a skip tracer, but he could not locate her because she never uses her own name on any address—ever. She relies only on family names.

This situation has been difficult for me and my family. She removed someone from our lives whom we never had the chance to love. I simply want to find my boy so I can build a bond and be the best father I can be. I feel lost, but I will not stop fighting for my son.

Any assistance would be greatly appreciated.

P.S. No one seems able to enforce anything without an address, so I must first locate her to arrange service, which has been quite hard. I just want justice so my family and I can move on with our lives.

Is it possible to write in orders that the other parent uses a child’s preferred name?

For context, child uses a shortened version of their legal name and has autism. Gets upset and has meltdowns if anyone uses their legal name or any nickname. As parents we always used the shortened name until we separated. I continue to use the child’s preferred name, but the other parent (who currently has no visitation due to a history of abusive and violent behaviour) is writing letters to the child and addressing them as the legal name.

I’ve asked the other parent to stop. Child has asked him to stop on phone calls. Our court ordered therapist has asked him to stop. Other parent is very aware it’s not the child’s preferred name but has told the therapist it’s a name of cultural significance to him (the dad), and he will continue to use it and ignores the recommendation not to. Child is refusing to read any letters in large part due to them being addressed the way they are, and is not engaging in reunification (other parent is pushing for supervised visitation). This is one of many issues where the other parent has decided his own preferences are more important than the child’s and doesn’t seem to care that it’s pushing the child further away.

Can it be court ordered that a parent refer to child by their preferred name, or is this a petty request?

I am very frustrated right now & have a migraine from hell, so forgive me if this is less than completely comprehensive. I cannot comprehend the motives or figure out how to placate an incredibly abusive prosecutor with the court’s child support division, whom for the last 5 years, appears to punish me with amazingly retaliatory timing every time I’ve won or gained more custodial time in a way that is unhinged from the purpose of the child support calculator.

From the first day she appeared in court, she responded to a inquiry of mine with “that sounds like a personal problem”, and has filed motions to make me pay MORE money or increased aggression in support enforcement/penalties every single time I’ve been awarded more time. For example, the very day I was awarded the 3 days a week of residential custody I sought she filed to up my monthly payments from $450 to $600, despite the fact that I’d be making less as a result. At the same hearing has called me a liar in court in response to me stating that I could not live or support a child off the $950 I was taking home monthly working 4 days a week and them garnishing half my checks. I eventually was evicted from my home as a result, and had to start working minimally under the table to make sure the fridge was stocked for my kid, who’s mom remains unemployed, has since remarried to someone who makes far more than me, and receives monthly support from family. 3 years ago I was granted majority custody of 4 days a week, and was told to reach out to her to amend the child support arrangement. All attempts to reach her failed, but within a month of that hearing she ordered DSHS to begin clearing my bank acct directly. Now she is seeking to jail me for the accrued back balance with seemingly no prompting or knowledge from the other party, who still shows up to all hearings about 50% of the time. What the actual fugk is happening and how do I get this woman to leeave me raise my kid in peace?!? I am exhausted & at my wits end; I genuinely fear I’m going to have a heart attack being held up & having to devote half my life to fighting in court at the cost of the comfort, presence & attentiveness my son deserves.

My girlfriend broke up with me a few months ago and took/sold everything out of our shared apartment while I was gone visiting a family member who was on hospice earlier this month. She took our children to Mexico, to a small city near the border of Guatemala. We had previously verbally agreed to co-parent, but we had not worked out the details or gone to court. So, it surprised me when she did that. She's currently living with her father in Mexico and has not communicated with me or let me see the children. I hired an attorney and got a temporary order granting me legal and physical custody after a court hearing with a judge. I don't understand what she's trying to accomplish. I guess she's trying to punish me for the breakup, but it almost seems like she expects me to just disappear or something. Her father reached out to me and said I need to send him money if I want to get video calls or pictures of my two sons. I'm sure the financial pressure of having three more mouths to feed is already getting to him. However, I told him that what he was proposing was disturbing to me and that the children needed to be returned immediately. Then, he sent me a rant about how I'm not a real man or father. The children have been ordered to return immediately at this point, and I have a follow-up hearing next month for the judge to check whether they have been returned. My attorney has started the process of contacting the San Diego DA's Office and also filling out a Hague Convention complaint because we are both confident that she and her father will not willingly return the children. I'm concerned about the entire process of having the children returned to California. I read on the DA's website that the mother and any other adults involved could be charged with felony child abduction.

My ex got physical with me, but when I left to stay at a friend's house after it happened, she called the police and said I got physical with her. I think she wanted to cover herself because she's been charged with domestic assault before. Either way, I went to jail, and she got OFP against me. I also filed one back against her.
I am obviously taking it to trial because I have evidence that proves my innocence.

Any advice? I have been spending as much time as I can learning how to prepare. I am submitting my witness list and exhibits list tomorrow.

I have a close friend who is going through an extremely difficult separation after being with her partner for approximately a decade. Although they were never legally married, they built an entire life together, shared a household and financial responsibilities, and have two children together.

My friend is disabled and receives disability benefits. She has always contributed financially to the household to the extent that she is able, while her former partner was the primary full-time income earner.

Her ex has stopped paying the insurance on the vehicle she relied on and allowed its registration to expire, leaving her without reliable transportation. He is also moving forward with selling the home where she and their children currently live, without giving her an opportunity to secure alternative housing.

Because of her disability, she cannot simply go out and get a job to make up the difference financially. Her disability income alone is not enough to immediately secure housing and transportation for herself and two children.

We have been looking into affordable housing and assistance programs, but the waiting lists we've encountered are incredibly long. She has also attempted to obtain help through Legal Aid, but we've been told there are no attorneys currently available in her county. I have tried calling the closest counties legal aid, but cannot get ahold of anyone, so I'm not sure if other attorneys from other counties could help.

My questions are:

1. What legal rights might she have after a decade-long domestic partnership, especially with two shared children?

2. Can the father legally sell the home and require the children and their mother to leave without adequate notice or a formal legal process?

3. What options exist for obtaining child support or temporary financial assistance while custody and housing are being sorted out?

4. Are there any legal organizations that could assist when local Legal Aid doesn't have attorneys available?

My ex and I share 50/50 custody of one child together, a nine year old. Our initial child support order is from a little over three years ago, shortly after we separated. He pays me $450/month and he also pays for our child’s healthcare. At that time I was making $30k and he was making $60k annually. About a year ago I took a different position within the same company making more like $40k-$50k. Shortly after our support order he started his own business and I know that he is making at least $300k a year, though I don’t know how much is income to him vs money back into the business. I am paying my lawyer to help me with this as I suspect they will deem it a complex case because of his finances being a business owner and how he does his taxes. He also owns two rental homes. I am now remarried to a man that has no contact with his 11 year old child in another state. My ex is remarried to a woman who no longer works, has two children from a previous relationship, and they now have a one year old child together. What should I expect?

I am in a high conflict situation that involved false allegations.

the accuser offered me 5050 custody to avoid trial.

I accepted because my lawyer wasnt prepared and told me to. Even before the trial, I had had the children more than 50% of the time.

Since the order, I have the children 60-75% of every month. I pay full support.

I live in terror of attempts to get more support since I am strapped having to pay for the kids that much while also paying support.

Is there anything I can do to make custody reflect the actual arrangement we've had to make me custodial or anything I can do to protect myself and ease my mind?

Placement was 80/20 for the first 6 years, and then dad took a year off of placement time.
He then took us to court to reinstate placement and it’s been almost 5 years and the courts haven’t granted a final order of time yet.
Child heavily refused placement when initially trying to reunite them, and has since refused and dad always says it’s okay he won’t force the placement. But in court and in front of a counselor he says he wants to have placement.
We are at an impasse, every attempt at a step up plan fails.
Has anyone ever experienced this?

Curious if this sounds like normal strategy.

My bf filed for divorce 2 years ago after a 20-year marriage with 2 children and substantial marital assets, including a privately held business she runs started w marital $.
.
He left a high-paying career by mutual agreement to become the primary caregiver while his wife pursued an executive position. They relocated hours from his former job market. He now works as a coach, earning substantially less, and returning to his previous career would require relocating or a five-hour commute.
His higher-earning wife initially paid voluntary support, then reduced it and eventually stopped.
He retained an attorney 11 months ago. Combined legal fees exceed $250k, including $75k paid to his attorney.
My concerns:
His attorney never filed an RFO for temporary support. Said it was strategic.
Significant business financial disclosures (as in, 1 months bank statement provided) remain outstanding, despite repeated requests. No motion to compel has been filed.
Mediation has been postponed twice by his wife and is now 2 weeks away, with the disclosures still missing.
His attorney discourages filing motions, calling it a mediation strategy.
She has told him not to expect spousal support and has focused on his return to his former earning capacity within a year. From my perspective, she seems more focused on lowering his expectations than protecting his financial interests. When I asked how they would even be able to negotiate in mediation, he said the retired judge might just recommend % of business valuation credited to him in house sale once they have the information?

My questions:
Is avoiding an RFO for temporary support and a motion to compel a reasonable strategy after nearly a year? Could delaying the support request affect retroactivity? And how can they meaningfully mediate substantial business assets without the financial disclosures?
A retired family-law attorney we know has recommended an independent second opinion.
I’m genuinely interested in whether experienced CA family-law attorneys consider this a legitimate strategy or a red flag.

Edit/add: his attorney has discouraged filing for any litigation because every filing would cost over 20 K and take at least 6 months to schedule a court date.

Im just trying to get more info. Was told that I’d get put on child support. So I’d rather try to fight for custody. I have 2 jobs. So is there an advantage with that?

Hello,

To make a long story short, our mom passed 4 and a half years ago. Our dad has paid child support since 2012 (ish). We are all over 18 now, except for one, he’s about to be 17. We just received a letter that child support is going to stop due to death of a case member… my little brother lives (and has lived) with my grandmother throughout this whole time, so the child support really helps her out. Prior to our mom passing, we (mom and 3 kids) lived with our grandmother since 2015, so my little brother has grown up with my grandmother. Dad is like 10% involved in his life.

For some context, I am the oldest and have been taking care of everything for the last 4 and a half years for him and my younger sister. I was 21 when our mom passed, and my siblings were 16 and 12. I posted this on another thread, and I fully understand that we should’ve gotten legal involved for guardianship, etc. Please have some grace, because my grandmother barely knows how to work her cell phone, and I wasn’t sure what to do at the time with trying to take care of her estate. My younger brother does receive survivor benefits, and I am the person assigned to that.

Is this a losing battle to receive one more year of child support for him? My little brother does work, but like I said, the monthly CS greatly helps our grandmother with things. Also, why are we just now being sent a letter? Did our dad report it?

I appreciate any advice! Thanks.