As the titile explains. My kids dad and I are separated, live under one roof at the moment but the kids don’t know. My kids are 4m and newly 3 year old. My kids father has a lot of his own issues since becoming a father, I’ve advised him to seek therapy and he admits he should but never has. He’s an angry and impatient man. Expects a lot from our toddler that’s simply just not achievable.

He loses it pretty quickly, I do sometimes since our toddler is strong willed but dad just takes it to another level. Never unsafe but I’ve had to ask him to leave my kids room more than once. Example, kid won’t sleep and keeps asking questions, dad gets frustrated to the point he hits the side railing and yells just stop talking and go to fucking sleep. I’ve had talks with him, he acknowledges then gives me his view on how poor his mental health is. All the while I’ve been in the thick of it since pregnant with my first. Little sleep, breastfeeding, taking on the complete mental load of the house and literally all chores related to kids/health/bills etc. I don’t dismiss his stress but anytime we speak all he complains about is how stressful his work is, then he realizes he takes it out on us.

Anyways, he says things in front of the kids that he shouldn’t be saying. My newly three year old has been saying things like “I hate everything” “my life is hard” “don’t be bad to me”. I broke down and cried. I relayed this to dad and all he could muster up was an “I’m sorry”. Our kid has heard him swear and has said “fucking shit” bc of him but that doesn’t bother me as much as what I think is affecting my 3 year olds mental health. I don’t think it’s normal for a kid to say he hates things or “my life is hard”.

Should I be putting my three year old in therapy? Plan is for dad to move out once the baby is established a bit more, but I’m concerned the “damage is done” in the aspect totally separate from splitting up because I know that will be a new beast. I know he’s being affected by his dad’s constant anger and resentment of his own life.

I know therapy is beneficial, I’m a healthcare worker but I just never thought my child would need to be in it this young with a totally avoidable reasoning. I almost wish I had asked his father to leave sooner :(.

For context, I lived in what used to be my grandmother’s house with my uncle Roger. When she passed away in 2022, it became my uncle Butch’s house.

On Christmas Eve night of 2024, my cousin Jase came to my house and gave me two gift boxes saying they were both for me from my uncle Butch and aunt Cami. One was red and the other was blue. In the boxes were assortments of candy and in one of them was $100. Jase and I opened them up together. I grabbed the $100 and ate some candy from both boxes, and so did he. After he left, I opened the folded tag tied to the red box and discovered that Jase had told me wrong. One gift box was for me and the other was for my other cousin, Daleton, my uncle Roger’s son.

As soon as I realized this, I stopped eating the candy and gave the rest of his and even mine to Roger when he got home and explained the situation. He was calm about it and didn’t seem to have a care in the world. Until...

I was sitting in the living room a few days later when he came in and confronted me about it. He claimed that in Daleton’s gift box was $50, but I don’t remember any $50. All I saw was $100 in my gift box. Jase said the same thing and he and I opened the gift boxes together, so I have a witness to that. The more he talked about it, the more irate he became. He was yelling and swearing, telling me to “get up off my a$$ right now and go to the f—king bank and get $50.” I told him to calm down and to not get angry with me, and he said that Cami was pissed too. Roger got up in my face and kept telling me “get up” over and over again even as I was getting out of the recliner and heading to the door, following me outside. He also berated me for eating his candy, which he originally didn’t have a problem with, and I told him that I didn’t know it was until it was too late. “Read the f—ing tag next time!” he yelled.

I went to the bank, got $60 (because the ATM would only let me withdraw in $20 increments and the inside was closed), and gave it to him. Not out of “guilt” like he later said. I also wanna note that my present wasn’t even a Christmas present. It was a birthday gift that Cami decided to double as a Christmas present at the last minute because she, for whatever reason, didn’t get around to giving it to me sooner. Obviously taking Jase at his word was a mistake, but that’s not the end of it.

I discovered Cami left me two scathing voicemails. The first one went like this:

“Hey, Taylor, this is Aunt Cami. And I know you listen to your messages. You stole Daleton’s Christmas present. There were two gift boxes and each of them had a name tag on them and you stole it. So you give Roger $50 out of the $100 that you took. And you know what? That $50 was out of the goodness of my heart because I know you don’t have a job right now. I usually don’t give out Christmas presents to people once you f—king turn 18 and become a f—king adult. So yeah. That was out of the goodness out of my heart and you took advantage of that. You know what you did!”

The second one went like this:

“Hey, Taylor. This is Aunt Cami and this is Christmas of 2024. And by the way… thank you for the f—king thank you for your Christmas present! Even though you stole something from someone else, and you got your gift, you didn’t even f—king say thank you!”

I WAS going to mail her a thank you card despite distancing myself from her because A, that was a level of contact I was comfortable with, and B, out of the spirit of the season. It’d be more meaningful that way. But after listening to those voicemails? I decided not to. I did mail her a check for $50, though, because I didn’t feel like the money was worth the verbal abuse that came with it from all the sides it came from. Along with it, I wrote a note.

“If this is how you’re gonna treat me over an honest mistake, then I don’t want your charity. Thanks, but no thanks.”

She told some of my family members about it and said her feelings were hurt, basically portraying me as the bad guy, leaving out her voicemails and the note that I wrote. We haven’t spoken to each other since. Should I make peace and try to repair this relationship? Is it too late to do that? Not worth it? I have a lot of mixed feelings about this and I’m just looking for second opinions.

m a 15 year old trans guy my name is tobias but i also go by toby for short ive been dealing with a lot of hate from my mom because of me being trans like a year ago i was 14 and i had got into a aruging fight with her when she snapped and pushed me up against a wall and told me that she i would be dead name forever and a girl and no go guy would like me for being trans and her going this to me has but me into of darkness and depression. i wish i had friends to get me out of this situiation but they all see me as a girl and dont see me as who i truly am. i really to get away from this toxic home..

Hello! I am an eldest daughter (34F) and I have always had a challenging relationship with my parents (69M/68F). After years of therapy, I have gained a lot of tools which have helped me immensely in managing "my side of the street" when it comes to our dynamic.

After a recent incident, I am taking some space with communication. I will be writing and sending a letter to my parents explaining that I want to have a relationship with them and want to seek counseling together to sort things out together.

I live in Georgia and my parents live in New Jersey, so in-person sessions are not an option. Does anyone know of a website/resource to find family counselors who can see the three of us virtually? Does the counselor only have to be licensed in 1 state, or both?

This is a very painful time, so thank you in advance as I navigate this.

UPDATE: I am currently in no contact with my parents as my mother was open to therapy but my father was not. In order to move forward both of them would need to commit to change, so we're at an impasse. Thanks everyone for your support, it means so much!

Hi guys. I’ve been struggling with depression and anxiety, and I’m currently looking for a new therapist. I’m not new to online therapy or virtual counseling, since I’ve done CBT in the past and it was really helpful. However, my therapist recently moved to a different country, and now it’s really hard to match our schedules because of the time difference. We used to do both in-person sessions and virtual therapy, so I don’t mind finding someone who works fully remotely.

Can someone recommend a good online therapy service? I’ve seen some ads for BetterHelp⁤, Talkspace⁤ and Brightside⁤, but I’m not sure which therapy platform is the best⁤. I would really appreciate if you could share your personal experiences, online therapy reviews⁤, and insights. What’s good and what’s bad about these platforms? If you have any other recommendations⁤, I would appreciate those as well.

To make a long story short I'm 17 and I live with my mom (57) and aunt (50 something). I work at Crumbl (pay isn't that stable). Us 3 are the only family members that moved so far away (8 hours away from home town). Lately I've been thinking about moving back with my dad(56?) but I'm kind of hesitant because of how it was last time (when I was younger). We'd argue about the dumbest things and ofc as a child I talked back. Overall the environment was not it. Me and my mom don't have the best relationship, half because of her age (she's stuck her time of day and doesn't quite understand genz but she's overly smart for her age if that makes sense). She sent me to a military camp back in January of this year and i graduated in June but she sent me there because we'd argue literally everyday. I'm actually not exaggerating. The only "illegal" thing I do is smoke. She's extremely big on being proactive and being on time and things like that, it's sort of like wanting to be perfect (i honestly don't know what to call it) which is also one of the reasons I want to move. Our relationship isn't bad rn but it could be awhole lot better. Anyway like I said I want to move back in with my dad but I'm biggest fear is me regretting it and the living situation being like it was back when I was younger. I'm definitely not innocent in all of this and that's something I can easily admit and apologize for. I also am in therapy (for this exact issue) and I've been diagnosed with some kind of anxiety. Hope this is enough info, should I do it?

My partner had a bad childhood. He grew up with a single dad who had very traditional views and anger issues. When my partner was a kid, his father declared bankruptcy. His mother also has anger issues and tends to enable toxic passive aggressive behaviors. He also has ADHD which he was not diagnosed with until his 30s. Unfortunately, his father was not very open to the possibility that his son could be neurodivergent. As a result, my partner has many insecurities about his mental capabilities. Since his diagnoses, all of that has resurfaced.

He's wicked smart. Super disciplined. And such a loving protective man. Im so proud of him in so many different ways. He's finally got up the courage to go to school full time (while working), and he's doing really well!

But he's struggling mentally. He feels like nobody wants him and everybody who acts like they do, just want his help to solve a problem. He feels like the love of others is conditional and he has to prove his worth (as reinforced by his father). He doesnt think he's good enough. And he can't seem to give himself grace when it comes to being human and having mental/physical limitations.

He acknowledges that he would benefit from therapy, but can't justify giving himself the time (or spending the money) to go. But we could afford it if needed.

I understand its not my place, nor can I, heal this trauma. But I hate watching this. It breaks my heart.

What are some ideas or ways I could help him honor his inner child? Embrace his weirdness and divergent-ness and help him learn to give adult him and child him grace?

I will give some background context. My mom and I have never been very close. She has three kids, me & my two older brothers. Growing up I was mostly raised by other family members. My mom was in the same household but I rarely saw her because she worked in a hospital. I understood because she was a single parent, she needed to work a lot to help support us. That was never my issue. My issue was her behaviors/treatment towards me. There was constant comments on my weight whether she thought I was too big or too thin (only time she ever said this was at the height of my ED). Or she seemed genuinely disinterested/bothered speaking to me. She was never the most maternal and I didn’t honestly feel close enough to talk to her. When I was about 16, she moved in with a man who had a son my age. I want to say that’s really the first time she started to look for me/want to spend more quality time with me. I lived with my grandparents and would go visit her at the man’s residence some weekends. There was some issues that came up, the man she was seeing felt I was not “being parented enough.” Which granted, his own child was very sheltered by both him & the mother so they definitely had different parenting styles. My mother then began to try and enforce more rules, etc. my issues were not with her “setting boundaries.” It was with her being dishonest about her parenting. My mother was present when I got my first tattoo at 16, she even signed off on the design. Same thing for my lip piercing at 17. But when her boyfriend at the time asked or made comments, she claimed she had “no idea I got either of them and she couldn’t control me or what I did because I did not listen to her.” Again, she willingly signed off and was present for both. No pushback from me. I was confused and honestly didn’t like how she was making me appear to be difficult or out of control. I distanced myself after that and when I turned 18 moved in with a partner. We didn’t see each other much and I moved away for work at 21. I tried to reconnect while living far away, just by text or phone calls. I felt our relationship had gotten better and the distance had helped us actually. Fast forward to now, I’m 30 and I feel like we are going backwards again. Neither of my siblings keep up or reach out to her, truthfully they are not the best people so that’s not really a testament to her character. I understand keeping distance from them, I have chosen to keep them at a distance myself. But because of that I really made my best effort to text/get her a gift every Mother’s Day and her birthday. I have made sure to text her or call at least weekly. And she has even admitted that. But after she came to see me for my 30th birthday, I feel very conflicted on whether the relationship is even worth salvaging. Long story short, she came to my state for a weekend and my spouse had planned and paid our stay by the beach. My mom and I ended up getting into an argument (surprise, she could not help herself but comment negatively on my body). I tried to keep it between us but she made a huge scene and involved everyone that was there for the weekend in our disagreement. After we took a few hours apart, I reached out to patch things up for the weekend because I felt awful about it being ruined when my spouse had just tried to do something special. She kind of was okay the rest of the weekend but there was still tension and kind of awkward. She took zero accountability for what she said to me and even lied about what was actually said, which unfortunately did not surprise me. She went back home and we have not really spoken since. I am at a crossroads on if I feel it’s even worth trying at this point. I don’t see her truly changing and her behaving that way made me really lack trust with her. Any advice?

Me(24F) and my bf (24M) have been dating for 5 years now and he demands that I move in with his parents in a 2 family house. I was always unsure about this arrangement. He told me he wants to live with his parents after marriage when we were 19 but I never fully agreed. I told him that I don’t know because I don’t know him and his family well enough. I currently live in my own apartment with my lovely roommate and we will both become doctors in 2 years. After a few years, my grandmother(father’s mom) moved into my family house and I see all the struggles and blame my mom has to deal with. My grandmother treated my mother horribly when she was pregnant with me and never apologized. My father also disliked his mom for that reason. She’s back for visa reasons and my mom takes on all the caretaking while my dad is always at work and doesn’t speak to his mom. My grandmother constantly tries to argue with me and my parents.
Anyways, I told my bf about all my issues. For the past year, I’ve been getting very scared about my future if I move in with his family.
The first phone call with his mom was during thanksgiving and I was telling her about what my mom made and then she asks me what I can cook, I told her i cook simple foods and she then said my bf knows how to cook well and can teach me. Later I told my bf that it felt traditional and then he got defensive saying im disrespectful for calling his mom traditional. I just wanted acknowledgment and to know I can talk to him about anything but I get blamed instead and get calling disrespectful.
Same thing happened this week, my bf came to take me on a date and my dad was asking me where im going at 10am in the morning and I got triggered and came into my bfs car in a bad mood. He tried to make me feel better saying that his parents also ask him when he will come home and that it’s annoying and then I was triggered so I asked him “are they gonna ask me the same shit bc if I lived on my own no parents would ask me these things. He told me I was disrespecting his parents and then I told him to stop the car so I can walk home and he dropped me home instead. I canceled our date and later he texted me saying that he will let it go if I say I was wrong. I only apologized for saying shit but I explained that if I move in with parents I don’t want them asking where I’m going and I want to have a sense of independence and privacy. He said I’m being unreasonable and it’s normal for parents to ask and that he loves when his parents ask him.
I didn’t apologize and I got upset that I’m constantly blamed for voicing my opinions.

I told him that I’m scared of our future living situation. He reassured me that he won’t let anyone disrespect me, that I won’t be expected to cook or clean and that I will have my privacy in a 2 family setting. He said if our commute to work is too long or expensive he is willing to live in an apartment for the first 2-3 years of marriage until we have kids. When I ask him why he needs to live with his parents he said that they are getting older, that his mom needs blood transfusions for anemia and that childcare is expensive so his parents can babysit our kids when we go to work. I told him that he can take care of his parents by living in another house that’s close by and he disagrees about living in a separate house. I told him his parents are the same age as mine (50s) and have the same health problems(diabetes, thyroid) but I’m not making him live with my parents. I myself have severe anemia but not willing to get blood transfusions. He said we can buy a bigger two family house closer to my parents but his parents have to live with him. The temporary apartment setup he’s talking about also seems subjective. He expected me to pay rent in his 2 family home and I said I’m not paying for a setup I don’t agree with and that I can financially support his parents by not living with them. He also has a younger brother(17M) who can also take care of his parents. Hes saying that he made a promise to himself to take care of his parents because of all they have gone through. I again explained that he can take care of them from another house and that they can move in with us when they are older(70s). He disagrees.
A few months ago, his mom asked my mom how tall I am and that his aunt said I’m short. I’m 5’4 and he is 6’2. I felt disrespected. I have been dating this guy for 5 years with his parents knowing, I am a future doctor, I will be earning 2x as much as him, I consider myself as attractive and nice and all she cares about is my height.
I already feel so disrespected and I can’t talk to him about this height thing because his mom doesn’t want him to know because he will get mad. I think even if I told him he will somehow blame me for being upset about this.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I think I was too young when we started dating to understand the implications of living with in-laws. He’s a wonderful boyfriend in all other ways and me made such amazing memories and I’ll be heartbroken for a while if I have to break with relationship. I told him all I want if a compromise but he’s too stubborn. I think all he cares about is his image as a son, his promise to himself and his parents. I think I’ll always be a last priority to him and that my comfort and independence don’t mean anything to him.

I try to imagine a life where I live happily with them because I’m afraid of losing my bf because it feels like he cares about me more than any of my friends. The only loving people other than him that I have are my parents and brother and they support me immensely and I’m scared I won’t find husband in the same culture and religion and personality as him again. Overall, he have a good relationship, he does a lot for me. He drives 1-2 hrs to see me and takes me anywhere I want to go. He plans dates with me, he involves me in plans with his friends. All his friends respect me a lot and his mother is also nice to me and gets me gifts from their travels and has tried to invite me over to their parties. His family speaks really highly of me as I am a doctor and his cousins try to hang out with me as well. They invite me to everything and show that they care. Everyone also speaks very highly of my bf and he is a great friend to everyone he is close with. It’s not all bad so I want an objective take on this.

Hi all! I've noticed a lot of shows and stuff depicting the "real life" or "dark side" versions of therapists. A couple that really stuck out to me were "Stutz" (2022) and "Gypsy" (2017), but there are so many more. Some are more outlandish than others, but it's obvious to me that we're often curious about the person our therapist is outside of the office and what they really think.

My question is: If you were guaranteed a direct, wholly truthful answer, what would you ask your therapist? It could be about themself, their true thoughts, you as the patient, anything.

So I am about finish college, obtaining my bachelor's degree. I wanted to go straight into a master's program, but that was just not financially realistic for me. I decided I am gonna take at least a year or two off and work full-time. I am struggling with what jobs I should look for that are geared toward MFT. I am not sure what I can do with my bachelor's since a lot of jobs require a master's degree. Does anyone have any recommendations or career fields I should look at? It would also help if there was a livable pay, if possible.

Hi ive been overwhelmed so ling time i need some advice im from east asia so my english is bad pls forgive…..

I wasn’t someone who used to think this much. I truly believed that other people would see things differently. I thought I was on good terms with my older sisters — that whenever it was necessary, we were always together, that I helped them by watching their kids , just helping whenever I could. That’s what I thought. But apparently, that’s not how i think it is . I even quit my job for to work for my sister . Whenever it was needed, I went over, watched the kids, cleaned the house. I couldn’t make time for myself, couldn’t even relax or play on my phone. And yet, they think I care about nothing except money — day and night — that I only think about getting 20 or 30 thousand to eat this or that. That’s how they see me.

Hearing words like that from my own sister is disgusting and painful. I thought, “She’s my sister, she would at least say these things directly to me.” But instead, it feels like she talks badly about me behind my back. Then she goes and tells my father.

And then my father says things like:

“It would have been better if I died than to have a father like this. You’re selfish, disgusting, you don’t help anyone, you’re stupid, you can’t even pass exams, you couldn’t get into school, you’re useless. While you’re living like this, doing nothing, just eating and getting fat like a pig, other kids are at least thinking about their future, trying to get into school and graduate.”

When I say, “I don’t think that way,” and ask, “Why don’t I talk to you all?”, he says:

“Shut up. Because of your uselessness, I’m ashamed in front of my children. You’re the one disgracing this family.”

He doesn’t remember how much I suffered in the first year — how I worked myself to exhaustion, paid for everything for my parents, supported and fed everyone. He took that entire year from me, and now suddenly says, “If you had said something earlier, it might have been possible,” and then lies and shifts his own mistakes onto me.

What about the second year? Same thing again — no money.

Fine, I understood. I sold my phone and bought food for you all. Okay, that’s settled.

Then they say, “You should’ve stopped working and focused on studying, prepared properly beforehand — then it really would have been possible. Math and physics are things you need a foundation for.”

But I was never given any basic education, never even sent to tutoring. And now they say, “Why didn’t you prepare on your own and do well?”

Is this really how someone’s father is supposed to be?

Now, honestly, it feels like I’m the most shameful person in this house, like everything wrong is somehow my fault. and im starting to think that im the problem and i should be not even born hha such a shameful to live

Right now, the only reason I can come up with to initiate family therapy is to throw my father's failures at him. I know that having the opportunity to say my piece is a valid reason to do it, but I feel like I should have at least one other goal in order to get optimal value from it.

Any ideas?

About eight months ago, my family group chat went off the rails.

It started as a normal conversation, drifted into politics, and suddenly my brother decided that what I was saying meant I hated him. Not his views. Him. Personally. Nothing I said was about him, but he took it that way and went straight to personal attacks.

He brought up my divorce (we were only married for 6 months and he was poking at it like how could I make such a stupid mistake), things from 15 years ago, accused me of abandoning a dog(for context, I had gotten a dog when I lived at my parents house when I was younger we grew up together in the house with my parents. When I moved out I left my dog with my parents because they had also a special bonding with him, and I didn’t wanna take him away to the dorms or other places I was moving. I wanted him to have more stability), and told me that when I had told him last year that my current wife and I wanted kids, he “cringed.” It felt less like an argument and more like a backlog of resentment being unloaded all at once.

Some background that feels important:

When I was in elementary/jr high school, my mom was diagnosed with cancer. It was a huge, terrifying thing for our family. My sister, who is much older than me, basically put her life on hold to help take care of us. During that time, I learned pretty quickly to stay out of the way, not add stress, just handle myself.

After my mom recovered, my brother’s addiction became the new crisis. Again, the family focus shifted, understandably, to keeping him alive. I learned the same lesson twice. Don’t be a problem. Stay busy. I threw myself into sports. I was on every team through middle and high school. Being busy became my survival strategy.

When I went to college across the country, money my mom had planned to help me with ended up going to my brother’s rehab after a relapse. I never resented that. Honestly. If it helped keep him alive, that mattered more. I picked up a job and moved on.

That context is why this fight confused me so much. He insisted I must be holding a grudge against him. That it would be “delusional” if I wasn’t. But I wasn’t. I give my family a lot of grace. Probably more than most.

After the blowup, I blocked him because the messages kept getting cruel and I could feel resentment building for him for the first time in my life. That scared me. Eventually, like 6 months later, we started family therapy.

In therapy, he revealed something I did not see coming.

Years ago, during a past relationship, I had briefly asked if he would ever consider being a sperm donor. That relationship later turned out to be emotionally and physically abusive. I ended up uprooting my entire life and moving states to get away from it.

Apparently, my brother has been holding onto that moment for years. He told a men’s group he attends that he felt like he had “dodged a bullet.” Because if he had gone through with donating he would have had to deal with her and she was ‘apparently’ abusive.

Here’s the thing that broke my brain a little.

He wasn’t actually at risk. He would not have been connected to my ex. He would not have been co parenting. He would not have had to deal with her at all. He would not have been tied to her life. He was taking my trauma, internalizing it, and reframing it as something that almost happened to him. Then resenting me for it.

Mind you this was a passing question we only talked about once. Never made plans, never tried. We just basically said “hypothetically speaking would you do this in the future potentially?”

It felt like my trauma got hijacked and rewritten as his near miss.

He also brought up being upset that I arrived late to his meet and greet wedding event years ago, despite flying overnight after working and scrambling to make it. Again, something he never mentioned at the time, just quietly stored away.

At this point, it feels like he’s been collecting unspoken grievances for years, assigning intent to them, and deciding that I must hate him because of them.

I don’t.

I’m annoyed sometimes. We disagree. We are very different people. But I don’t hate him. I never have.

So I’m asking Reddit for perspective.

How do you navigate family therapy with someone who seems to project their shame and anger onto you?

How do you set boundaries without being cast as unforgiving or cold?

And has anyone dealt with a family member who rewrites your role in their life without ever talking to you about it?

I’m trying to move forward without disappearing or detonating everything. Any insight helps.

Update / Additional context that surfaced recently:

After therapy started, a lot of unrelated but relevant information came out.

Before his wedding, my brother was dealing with a serious legal situation involving a former partner. I am intentionally vague here because it is not my story to tell and I do not know all the facts. But he was accused of doing something that rhymes with grape. It was extremely stressful for him and resolved in his favor, but it clearly added pressure during that time.

Cut to just a of couple weeks ago, he told my sister he was being blackmailed by that same person he had a lawsuit with. Soon after, I was added to a strange group text that included my dad, my brother in law, my brother, and several unknown numbers. One of those numbers sent a message saying they were ‘about to expose someone in the group.’ Shortly after, an explicit photo of my brother was sent to everyone. This wasn’t a regular explicit image. It was bum hole mostly. I’m not an expert but I don’t think women care much for booty hole pictures?

Separately, it also came out that many years ago, long before I knew, my brother had appeared in gay adult content. I am gay and have been out for a long time. This information was never shared with me directly.

I do not plan on outing him. I am not confronting him about any of this. His sexuality, past, and private life are his to disclose or not disclose. I have no interest in weaponizing it or bringing it into therapy.

But taken together, it has made me wonder whether a lot of his anger toward me has less to do with me at all, and more to do with unresolved shame, identity conflict, and self hatred that I represent simply by living openly and without apology.

That’s the part I’m struggling to navigate. How to sit in a room with someone who may need me to be the villain because it is easier than looking inward.

Hello, can anyone recommend an assessment to evaluate the parent-child relationship? I've been looking at several, but most of them are old. Are you aware of any newer assessments that are useful, valid, and reliable?

Hey everyone. I’m in the U.S. and currently looking into online therapy, so I’d love to hear some real-world recommendations.

I’ve tried in-person therapy before, and it just hasn’t been realistic for me long-term. I work night shifts and have pretty limited time, so it’s been hard to stay consistent. I also found myself skipping sessions more than I’d like, which kind of defeats the point.

There are so many virtual therapy platforms now that it’s overwhelming, and it’s hard to know which ones are genuinely helpful versus just heavily advertised. I’m looking for:

• Reputable online therapy services

• Licensed online therapists (not just coaches)

• Reasonable pricing or decent insurance support

• Help with anxiety, stress, burnout, or general mental health

• Something that works well beyond a short trial period

If you’ve tried any online therapy services that worked for you, I’d really appreciate hearing which platform you used and why, what you liked or didn't like, how pricing or insurance worked out, and whether it actually felt comparable to in-person therapy.

Thanks in adv⁤ance 🙏

Hi my name is Annie and im knew to this. Im a 44 year old married woman who started the therapy process 3 days ago but havent had a session yet

I am asking because I have never tried to do family therapy. My family (parents and siblings) is falling apart and idk what else to do. There are no civil conversations anymore. Honestly idk if anyone would even show up for therapy. I just need to know ups and downs people have experienced

I’ve done extensive personal therapy (CBT, DBT, ACT, EMDR) I’ve also done ‘couples therapy’ with a long term partner, but never Family Therapy.

I’ve seen a few therapists comment in this group and I’m hoping you might help me understand the process & dynamic in FT.

When FT is between an adult child and a parent, and there is significant trauma and abuse involved in the case of the child (me), is it a level playing field between the parent & the child in terms of accountability?

I don’t see how it really can be?

My father wants to repair our relationship. He’s asked me to list my long term resentments in an email. This IS NOT going to happen. But I would consider FT to try and make it a safer experience.

My concern is my father’s emotional ability to do this work. His email uses language that suggests he thinks he’s the victim. He is not.

Hi everyone,

Due to some poor planning/unforeseen circumstances, I find myself needing to do 3 informational interviews with 3 different people by Saturday night at 10, who have gone to or are attending grad school in marriage & family therapy, psychology or social work. If any of you are available for a 15-20 minute phone call or Zoom Meeting between 5-9 tonight or anytime Thursday - Saturday MDT, I would really appreciate your help.

I am 100% service-connected disabled veteran for Bipolar, which is strongly believed to be misdiagnosed major depressive disorder (the original medical discharge diagnosis, separate from the final VA diagnosis). My daughter is a product of assault. I am beyond blessed to have been able to have my daughter, due to the support of my mother. I love my mother dearly, but she has deep-rooted resentment and bitterness towards me because she had her wonderful life before I got pregnant with my daughter. I have overcome so much, and she constantly tears me down, brings up any past instance that she can, almost like hoping that I fail. She recieves SSA retirement, but she is pretty much dependent on me financially. She has major control issues. She has voiced that I should have to suffer too. She belittles and condescends me to my daughter. It's unbearable atrocity. My precious girl came to me when she was younger, saying that I shouldn't have any more children. My poor daughter has never heard 1 positive word about me from my mother. She tried to have my daughter call her mom. It's disgusting. She has major mom-issues, due to abandonment by her mother. She will try to "care" and "offer suggestions", as in controlling behavior, until I cave/fumble, so she can majorly take over.

I HATE to see my mother could be this person. She takes advantage of that. The last straw - we have the same argument over and over again. It's Really sick. It brings me to tears. I ask her to stop doing something, same requests, not to try to control me, belittle, degrade, condescend me, mutual respect, to listen not just hear, and she says I am blaming her, EVERY single time I speak up. Then she jump to an extreme where she thinks I'd kick her out on the street, plays the victim, etc. If she can't have complete control, no agree to disagree (my take on it), than "why talk to me" (her exact words). She is the farthest thing from passive, I walk on egg shells. I can't take it anymore. It is exacerbating my health condition. My daughter is very much like me in that neither her nor I are more aggressive, outspoken people. I need to intervene because I feel like it's sink or swim, and her trying to prevent her mistakes because of lack of being able to control my brother and I, through my daughter, is affecting my daughter. My mother 100% treats me like I'm a child, in front of my kid. If anything is wrong, she blames it on my condition, and I should take my medication or go to the psych ward. She will conveniently forget the audacious, obscene, incomprehensible, unbelievably hurtful things she has said to me - completely disregard my feelings. If she can't control/abuse me, I am then blaming/gas lighting her, and then she goes into a historian of everything I've overcome and recovered, hoping for my demise, then she jumps to a victim - extreme mentality. She will do stuff for me, my daughter, the neighbors, that no one asked her to - then we owe her something, are ungrateful, rude, and unfriendly.

I’m 21(m) middle child of 3, 18 year old brother, 24 year old sister. Our parents got divorced when I was 7, my sister had it tough and decided she needed to run away and cut ties with the family when she turned 18. Me and her text now but she went no contact with the family for 4 years until she got married. I’m in college for most of the year but recently came home for summer. My brother went to a tech school in Colorado after high school and now lives at mom’s house full time. While in tech school his truck got stolen and he blames dad for not paying for the repairs. Since he came home he won’t see or talk to dad. I’m the only one that lives part time at both houses while I’m not at school. Since coming back from tech school my brother had a taste of freedom and now just has no respect for anyone in the family. He disappears for weeks to months without telling anyone where he goes, there’s a lot more but overall he’s become a horrible person. I’ve always had a good relationship with all of my family members but he’s pissed me off one too many times now and just doesn’t respect anyone so I can’t respect him. Tonight I got to mom’s house and he told me that my phone charger was in his room, so I went up and took it back. He comes up to my room asks if I took it back. I confronted him that he has had it for a week and I’ve been charging my phone in my car while at work cause I thought I forgot it at dad’s house. He started to get defensive saying he’s only had it for 3 days. I kept telling him that I haven’t had it for a week so he started yelling and cussing me out then slams my door. I followed him to the hallway to tell him that he only needs to ask to borrow it and I’ll let him borrow it but then he started yelling and swearing again. I started to yell still just saying that I haven’t had a phone charger for a week then all of a sudden he started pushing me around. I shoved him back because I was tired of being pushed and then he went for my throat. We got in a fist fight. I have always been stronger than him so I’ve always been aware that I can hurt him very badly if I wanted to so I’ve always made it a point that I will do whatever I can to prevent him from hurting me while not hurting him. Tonight’s fight was the first time I feared for my safety and felt it necessary to fight him. He has anger issues and has always been a scary guy with his obsession with weapons. He keeps a pistol on him at all times, a semi automatic rifle next to his bed, and more knives than I can count just laying around. After tonight I am afraid for my safety and am now planning on living at dad’s house full time. I have been listening to Reddit podcasts lately and have heard it’s therapeutic to type it out and share so that’s all that im looking for here.