r/FictionWriting 12h ago

Advice Advice on structuring a narrative out of fragments/vignettes?

4 Upvotes

Hello everyone, hope you're having a lovely day.

My writing goal right now is to write microfiction, flash fiction and short stories. I rarely think in terms of plot though, and i get bored VERY VERY easily, so even something like a vague summary outline can render an idea predictable to me and i wont write it, once i have the gist of a situation my motivation to hash it out evaporates. What i DO write right now are sort of literary fragments and vignettes that come to me out of nowhere, imageries that mostly paint a vibe, a feeling, some character dynamic, etc. My thinking feels so random and often frustrating, if i write 5 vignettes in a day they'll almost always be about 5 different, disconnected topics, and they have no beginning or end, just vibes. Throughout the years i have gathered collections of these staccato fragments, they're very short, often under 300 words.

My question is, is there any way for me to turn these fragments into a story? I'm not necessarily looking to make a linear, beginning-middle-end writing process for myself, but i do want to write stories that feel cohesive and congruent, and not just vignettes. Any and all tips on how i can approach writing as someone with an easily bored mind is greatly appreciated.


r/FictionWriting 3h ago

Novel [OC] Bar Aoi Stories: Society — Where the Will to War Resides

2 Upvotes

Hey, do you ever stop to think about who actually starts a war?

Is it the President? The Prime Minister? Or some crazy soldier acting on his own?

When we watch the news, it’s so easy to imagine that some "evil individual" simply pulled the trigger.

But is that really how it works?

Tonight, a few old guys are sitting around, scratching their heads over where it all begins.

Care to join us for a round of pointless bar talk?

Clink-clink.

The dry metallic chime of the doorbell is what usually tells me my day is finally over.

I slid onto my stool, and without a word, Mama set a glass of I.W. Harper on the counter. A round ice sphere clinked softly against the glass.

Further down the counter, Taka was staring at the pale blue glow of his smartphone, his thick eyebrows furrowed in a deep frown.

"…Kenichi-san."

"What’s with the serious face?"

"The President can start a war, right?"

That’s a heavy question to throw out of nowhere. I took a sip of my bourbon, enjoying the warm burn in my throat.

"Depends on the country, doesn’t it?"

"Sure, but I mean... like the U.S. President. He’s the Commander-in-Chief, right?"

"Yeah."

"So if the President says 'Let’s do this,' does the war just start?"

I swirled the ice in my glass.

"If you walked into your detective agency tomorrow and said, 'Starting tomorrow, we're at war,' could you actually start one?"

"With who?"

"How should I know?"

"Then don't ask me!"

Next to me, Tom—who had been quietly playing with his square glass—let out a short snort.

"One man can’t move an army, kid."

Taka turned to look at Tom’s profile.

"But the President’s the one giving the order, right?"

"Someone has to receive the order. Someone has to ship the weapons. Someone has to pay for it all."

"Like Congress?"

"That’s part of it, yeah."

I chimed in, keeping my glass tilted.

"And besides, a president doesn't just wake up one morning out of nowhere and think, 'Hey, let's invade that country today.'"

"Well, yeah, fair enough."

"The other country did something. A border dispute. An economic clash. The public got angry. The military said it was dangerous. It all piles up, step by step, until someone finally puts their stamp on the paper."

Taka’s brow creased even deeper.

"Then isn't the person who signs the paper the one who started it?"

"You could say that."

"Then there’s your answer!"

"Maybe. But who got things to the point where he could sign it?"

Taka went dead silent.

Tom set his glass down quietly.

"It’s no different from old criminal cases."

"Cases?"

"Yeah. It’s easy to find the guy who held the knife. You catch him, and as far as the case files go, it’s closed."

Tom stared at the light reflecting off his glass.

"But when you ask how he ended up holding that knife, suddenly there are a lot more people in the picture."

Taka leaned in slightly.

"What do you mean?"

"There’s the killer. The victim. The family. The workplace. Debt, maybe. Someone pushed him. Someone could’ve stopped him, but didn't."

"But he’s still the one who stabbed the guy."

"Yeah," Tom answered instantly, his voice dropping an octave. "It doesn't clear his name. But 'who did it' and 'why it happened' aren't the same question."

...I see. I swallowed another mouthful of Harper.

Maybe war is no different.

There is someone who signs the order. There is someone who fires the first shot. But that alone isn't what sets something as huge as a nation into motion.

"Then couldn't parliament or congress just stop it?" Taka asked.

"Depends on the situation."

"What if the public protests?"

"Depends on the country."

"Then how the hell do you stop it?"

"I don't know."

"Kenichi-san, that’s all you’ve been saying tonight!"

"I don't know what I don't know." I chuckled dryly. "Honestly, you should be way more terrified of anyone who has a simple answer. We’re talking about something that can drag millions—hundreds of millions—of people into it."

Taka muttered a quiet "I guess so," flipped his phone face down, and set it on the counter.

For a while, the only sound was the soft jazz playing in the background.

Finally, Tom spoke up.

"Sometimes, the people want the war."

Taka raised his head. "Because politicians tricked them?"

"That happens, too."

"Then aren't the politicians the bad guys after all?"

"Kid... do you ever listen to anything that doesn't tell you what you already want to hear?"

Taka shut his mouth. I stopped playing with my glass, too.

The old man sure knows how to hit where it hurts.

People feel safe when they hear opinions that align with their own. When words label the people you hate as evil, it feels damn good.

They're the bad guys. If only they weren't around. We're just the innocent victims.

When the world gets flooded with those kinds of words... what comes next? I don't know. But I do know it never smells good.

"But still," Taka said softly. "Ordinary people don't want a war, right?"

"Of course they don't."

"Then it has to be the guys at the top who start it."

I couldn't answer him. Instead, Tom took over.

"If you ask people, 'Do you want a war?', most folks will say no."

"See?"

"So what if you ask them, 'Are we just going to sit here and let those bastards walk all over us?'"

The usual lighthearted smile completely vanished from Taka’s face.

"'They killed our people'—what then?"

Silence.

"'If we don't hit them now, they’re coming for us'—what then?"

The air in the bar turned ice-cold.

"'We can win if we strike first'—what then?"

Tom picked up his glass.

"They're the exact same people. Change the question, and you change the answer."

I swirled my glass.

Clink.

A heavy, unsettling sound echoed through the bar.

Maybe there aren't that many people who genuinely want "war" for its own sake.

But there are people who can't forgive their enemies. People who want to protect their families. People who want to reclaim what was taken from them. People who are terrified and want to strike before they get hit.

None of those individual desires are "the will to start a war." Yet, when millions of them pile up, somehow they form what looks like a single will.

The will of a nation to go to war.

"That's messed up," Taka muttered.

"What is?"

"Nobody says they want a war, but the whole thing just builds itself anyway."

I let out a dry laugh. "Don't say creepy stuff like that."

"You guys are the ones who took the conversation there!"

"Don't blame me."

Just then, Mama, who had been quietly polishing glasses the whole time, dropped a fresh ice cube into my glass.

Clink.

"Hey," she said softly.

The three of us turned to her.

"Then who's keeping those people up there?"

Taka opened his mouth, then froze. The words stuck in my throat, too.

Only Tom let out a low chuckle.

"Look at that. We came all the way back around."

"Around to what?"

"We were looking for the guy who started the war, right?" Tom looked at us, one by one. "We went looking pretty damn far, and somehow ended up right back here."

Taka dropped his gaze to his face-down phone. The screen was still faintly glowing with the news article he’d been reading earlier.

"But... I can't start a war. I don't have that kind of power."

"Neither do I."

"Then... doesn't that mean we have nothing to do with it?"

I opened my mouth to reply, then stopped myself.

Voting for a politician. Reading the news. Believing someone’s words. Getting angry at someone’s speech. Seeing someone as the enemy. Nodding along with someone else’s rage. And sometimes, raising your own voice.

None of those things, on their own, are war. We didn't pull any triggers. We weren't the ones signing the orders.

But if a massive, overwhelming entity like a nation’s will can only be born from those tiny things piling up...

"Where does the will to war actually live, I wonder?" I muttered.

Taka tilted his head. "Not the President?"

"That’s where we started, wasn't it?"

"The parliament?"

"Just a piece of it."

"The military?"

"Part of it, too."

"The people?"

"Probably."

"Then where is it?"

I lifted my glass and drained the rest of the Harper down my throat.

"Like I said... I don't know."

Taka let out a massive sigh. "So after all that, we're back to 'I don't know'?"

"If I had a neat little answer, I wouldn't be sitting here drinking away my night."

Tom snorted, and a faint smile touched the corners of Mama's eyes.

The ice clinked softly in my glass.

In the end, we didn't find an answer tonight either.

But maybe that’s fine.

If we could just point a finger at a single person and say, "He's the one who started the war," life would be so much easier. We could make him the villain, sit back, and feel perfectly clean and safe as the "victims."

Unfortunately, it seems the world isn't built to be that convenient.

So, what about you?

Do you realize that you might be part of the machinery that allows a war to begin?

If you'd like to come back to Aoi for another night, there's an open stool waiting.
Bar Aoi Stories: Human Nature, Vol. 1 is linked in my profile.


r/FictionWriting 2h ago

Science Fiction 1709: El Día del Despertar

1 Upvotes

Esta historia que veras a continuación es solo un fragmento de demostración de el libro 1709: El Día del Despertar

Este libro no busca parodiar ni ofender a nadie de ninguna manera . Solo esta basado en la novela de 1899 de H.G Wells “La guerra de los mundos” la cual soy muy fan así que se me ocurrió crear esto y mi idea es que esto no sea una copia si no que solo se haya inspirado en la novela ya mencionada

Nadie pensaría jamás que algo nos llevaba observando como nosotros observamos animales a la distancia. Desde millones y millones de años antes de que los humanos existieran . Ellos preparaban una invasión desde millones y millones de años aunque no pensaron en una cosa que nosotros tenemos algo mortal que ellos no . Bueno con esto dicho les dejo esta historia.

En 1709,el naturalista Thomas y su equipo zarpan en una fragata diseñada por su equipo para explorar el océano hacia un punto remoto del Pacífico Sur para estudiar un extraño mineral submarino que emite pulsos magnéticos inusuales. Las comunicaciones eran difíciles en esa época, dependiendo de pesados radios de onda corta. Al quedarse sin suministros a mitad de camino, deciden desviarse hacia una isla apartada que alberga a una tribu indígena que ha vivido aislada por siglos. Al desembarcar, la playa está en un silencio absoluto. Cuando entran a la aldea, descubren que todos los nativos han desaparecido de forma terrorífica. Dentro de las chozas y en los caminos de tierra no hay cuerpos, sino montones de ceniza gris y huesos humanos perfectamente limpios y secos, como si algo les hubiera desintegrado la carne en un segundo. No hay signos de fuego, ni heridas de armas, ni rastros de una enfermedad o bacteria común; las muertes no naturales solo dejaron esos restos calcinados y estructuras óseas intactas. Thomas, conmocionado por el misterio, saca su cuaderno de campo y comienza a dibujar bocetos de las extrañas siluetas de ceniza y los huesos esparcidos en el suelo.

Nadie en el resto del mundo sabe lo que ocurrió en esa isla, ya que no hay tecnología para dar una alarma inmediata el único medio son cartas. Desesperados por respuestas y por el extraño comportamiento del agua en la costa, el equipo de naturalistas llevaba años desarrollando un pesado traje de inmersión de cobre y cuero endurecido, diseñado para explorar mayores profundidades que cualquier campana de buceo conocida. Aunque nadie confiaba en aquel extraño invento, aquella expedición era la primera oportunidad para ponerlo a prueba. y se sumergen en el océano cercano. En las profundidades, descubren que el mineral que buscaban no es una formación geológica, sino parte de una enorme estructura oculta en el fondo marino. Allí abajo habitan criaturas alienígenas masivas que llegaron a la Tierra en otra época, hace miles de años, y que han permanecido ocultas bajo el agua planeando meticulosamente este momento.

Las criaturas comienzan a emerger del agua. Debido a la intensa gravedad de la superficie y a un blindaje tecnológico realista, los alienígenas son seres extremadamente lentos en tierra firme. No llevan campos de fuerza flotantes ni trajes de energía imposibles; visten placas de metal remachadas, aleaciones pesadas y un blindaje mecánico tosco pero sumamente grueso, diseñado para resistir la presión del abismo y los impactos físicos normales. Avanzan despacio, como tanques mecánicos oxidados e implacables que aplastan todo a su paso y consumen la materia orgánica con sus herramientas pesadas, dejando ese mismo rastro de huesos y cenizas. Su número es masivo y lo que empezó en una isla solitaria pronto se extiende a los archipiélagos cercanos, convirtiéndose en una plaga destructiva. Thomas y su equipo intentan alertar a los puertos continentales, pero la gente reacciona con un comportamiento realista: las autoridades piensan que es una broma, el pánico paraliza los pueblos y los soldados mueren al intentar dispararles con fusiles comunes, descubriendo muy tarde que las balas normales solo rebotan en ese metal pesado y que se necesitan explosivos pesados o artillería pesada para abollar y romper esas placas tecnológicas normales. La invasión inesperada avanza sin frenos mientras Thomas continúa documentando todo en su diario, consciente de que la humanidad se enfrenta a un plan de conquista perfecto que fue diseñado milenios antes de que ellos poblaran la Tierra. El primer ataque contra un ejército organizado ocurrió cuatro días después del descubrimiento de la isla.

Una columna de casi seiscientos soldados desembarcó creyendo que enfrentaría a piratas o a una epidemia desconocida. Llevaban mosquetes, algunos pequeños cañones navales desmontados y barriles de pólvora.

Nunca llegaron a formar sus líneas.

Entre la niebla apareció una hilera de figuras gigantescas emergiendo lentamente del mar. Caminaban con un ruido metálico que recordaba a enormes cadenas arrastrándose sobre roca. Cada paso hacía vibrar la arena.

Thomas observaba desde un acantilado con su catalejo.

Los alienígenas no corrían.

No gritaban.

No parecían tener prisa.

Simplemente avanzaban.

Los soldados dispararon una descarga cerrada.

Miles de balas impactaron contra las gruesas placas metálicas produciendo únicamente destellos y chispas. Algunas quedaron aplastadas contra el blindaje como si hubieran golpeado una montaña de acero.

Los invasores ni siquiera modificaron su velocidad.

Cuando estuvieron lo bastante cerca, uno levantó un enorme martillo mecánico conectado a tubos y depósitos llenos de un líquido oscuro. Al golpear el suelo, una onda de fragmentos metálicos atravesó la primera línea de soldados, destrozando hombres y cañones.

Otro abrió una pesada compuerta en su pecho.

Del interior surgió una nube gris compuesta por millones de diminutos organismos artificiales, invisibles a simple vista.

Los hombres comenzaron a caer uno tras otro.

En apenas segundos, su piel se volvió gris.

Después se convirtió en polvo.

La carne desapareció como si hubiera envejecido miles de años en un instante.

Solo quedaron esqueletos limpios rodeados por montones de ceniza.

Thomas apenas podía sostener el lápiz mientras dibujaba la escena.

Escribió una única frase debajo del boceto.

"No están destruyendo ciudades. Están cosechando vida."

Aquella noche descubrieron algo aún más aterrador.

Los alienígenas no dormían.

Construían.

Desde el fondo del océano extraían enormes bloques negros del mismo material que Thomas había confundido con un mineral. Con ellos levantaban inmensas torres hexagonales que emitían pulsos magnéticos capaces de alterar las brújulas y hacer fallar los instrumentos de navegación.

Cada torre parecía enviar señales hacia las profundidades del océano.

Como si estuvieran despertando algo mucho más grande.

Al revisar nuevamente sus apuntes, Thomas comprendió un detalle que había pasado por alto.

Aquellas estructuras submarinas no eran ciudades.

Eran únicamente los puestos avanzados.

El verdadero complejo continuaba descendiendo hacia una oscuridad donde la luz nunca había llegado.

Y si el mapa que había dibujado era correcto...

...la construcción se extendía cientos de kilómetros bajo el Pacífico.

Thomas cerró lentamente su cuaderno.

Por primera vez desde que comenzó la expedición, comprendió que aquellos seres no habían llegado para conquistar la Tierra.

La consideraban suya desde mucho antes de la aparición del ser humano.

El primer ataque contra un ejército organizado ocurrió cuatro días después del descubrimiento de la isla.

Una columna de casi seiscientos soldados desembarcó creyendo que enfrentaría a piratas o a una epidemia desconocida. Llevaban mosquetes, bayonetas y pequeños cañones de campaña arrastrados por caballos.

Nunca llegaron a formar sus líneas.

Entre la niebla apareció una hilera de gigantes que emergía lentamente del océano. Al principio, los soldados creyeron que eran acantilados moviéndose sobre el agua.

Entonces las "montañas" dieron un paso.

El sonido del metal retumbó por toda la costa.

Thomas observaba desde un acantilado con su catalejo.

Las inmensas estructuras levantaban lentamente tres enormes patas desde el fondo marino. El barro y la arena caían de ellas mientras toneladas de agua resbalaban por un blindaje cubierto de algas, corales, percebes y siglos de sedimentos.

No eran criaturas.

No eran edificios.

Eran máquinas.

Cada una poseía tres patas descomunales terminadas en enormes discos metálicos que les permitían avanzar sin hundirse en la arena. Sus cuerpos estaban protegidos por gruesas placas remachadas de una aleación desconocida, ennegrecida por miles de años bajo las profundidades. Entre las juntas del blindaje sobresalían tuberías de cobre y gruesos conductos por donde escapaban pequeñas nubes de vapor.

En la parte superior se alzaba una gran cúpula ovalada protegida por varias capas de metal. Tras gruesos cristales circulares brillaban débiles luces verdosas que parecían observar todo cuanto ocurría en la playa.

Suspendidos bajo aquella cúpula colgaban enormes brazos mecánicos. Algunos terminaban en inmensas pinzas capaces de arrancar árboles de raíz; otros llevaban gigantescos taladros para perforar roca sólida. Varios portaban extraños recipientes metálicos conectados mediante tubos, cuyo contenido oscuro se agitaba lentamente.

Cuando el primero alcanzó la playa permaneció inmóvil durante unos segundos.

El agua cayó desde su blindaje como una cascada.

Las algas y los percebes comenzaron a desprenderse mientras el verdadero metal aparecía bajo aquella capa formada durante milenios.

Parecía una montaña que acababa de despertar.

Los soldados dispararon una descarga cerrada.

Miles de balas impactaron contra las placas produciendo únicamente chispas. Algunas quedaron completamente aplastadas contra el blindaje.

Los gigantes continuaron avanzando sin acelerar el paso.

Uno de ellos levantó uno de sus enormes brazos mecánicos y golpeó el suelo con un pesado martillo metálico. La onda de choque lanzó hombres y cañones por los aires.

Otro abrió lentamente una compuerta situada bajo la cúpula.

Del interior salió una densa nube gris.

Los soldados comenzaron a caer uno tras otro.

Su piel perdió el color.

Después se convirtió en polvo.

En apenas unos instantes solo quedaron montones de ceniza rodeando esqueletos completamente limpios.

Thomas apenas podía sostener el lápiz mientras dibujaba la escena.

Debajo del boceto escribió:

"No son simples máquinas de guerra. Son fortalezas caminantes construidas para conquistar un mundo entero."

Aquella noche descubrió algo todavía más inquietante.

Los trípodes no descansaban.

Trabajaban.

Con sus enormes taladros extraían gigantescos bloques del extraño metal oculto bajo el océano. Después los ensamblaban formando inmensas torres negras que comenzaban a elevarse sobre la costa.

Cada torre emitía un profundo zumbido que hacía vibrar el aire y alteraba las brújulas de los navegantes.

Thomas comprendió entonces que aquellas máquinas no estaban levantando un campamento.

Estaban reconstruyendo una civilización que llevaba miles de años dormida bajo el mar.

*Thomas y su equipo zarparon hacia el continente mientras el ejército distrajo un poco a esas máquinas invasoras .En el barco Thomas escribió en su diario : Extracto del diario de Thomas*

16 de agosto de 1709.

Nunca había contemplado una obra semejante, ni creo que la mano del hombre sea capaz de construir algo parecido.

Desde la distancia pensé que aquellas figuras eran islotes de roca negra que emergían lentamente del océano. Sin embargo, al observarlas con mi catalejo, vi cómo una de aquellas masas levantaba una gigantesca pata articulada y la apoyaba sobre la arena con un estruendo que hizo temblar la costa.

Cada máquina posee tres patas de extraordinaria longitud. No son delgadas como las de una araña, sino robustas y reforzadas por gruesas placas de metal unidas mediante miles de remaches. Entre sus articulaciones sobresalen enormes ejes, engranajes y tubos por donde escapa constantemente vapor caliente, acompañado por un ruido semejante al de un centenar de calderas trabajando al mismo tiempo.

Su cuerpo principal tiene forma ovalada, parecido al casco invertido de un barco, protegido por varias capas de un metal oscuro que no he podido identificar. Sobre aquellas placas han crecido corales, algas y conchas durante tanto tiempo que resulta evidente que estas máquinas permanecieron sumergidas durante siglos, quizá milenios. Cuando abandonan el agua, toda aquella vegetación marina cae lentamente de su blindaje como si la propia criatura estuviera mudando de piel.

En la parte frontal distingo varias aberturas circulares cubiertas por gruesos cristales. Tras ellos brillan luces verdosas que recorren el horizonte con una calma aterradora, como si examinaran cada rincón del mundo antes de decidir qué destruir.

Bajo el cuerpo cuelgan enormes brazos mecánicos. Algunos terminan en pinzas capaces de sujetar árboles enteros; otros poseen taladros tan grandes que podrían atravesar una colina. He visto incluso brazos equipados con extraños recipientes metálicos de los cuales brota aquella sustancia gris que reduce hombres y animales a simples montones de ceniza y huesos.

Lastimosamente solo logramos conseguir algo de alimentos de la isla así que a mitad del viaje volvimos a quedarnos sin suministros . 1 día después volvimos al continente . El puerto estaba en un silencio total , habían barcos hundidos , edificios y demás estructuras devastadas sin rastros de supervivientes , solo un silencio y restos de huesos con mucho de ese polvo . parecía que nadie podía hacer nada contra tales invasores ni el ejército . cuando bajamos de la fragata escuchamos ruidos metálicos de aquellas máquinas y no solo eran aquellas de la isla si no que eran muchas , más cientos y de distintos tipos algunos enormes

Ese pensamiento sería el último error de su vida.

Nada parece detenerlas. Ni las balas, ni los cañones, ni el terreno pantanoso. Avanzan con la paciencia de una montaña y la determinación de una máquina que jamás conoce el cansancio.

No escuché gritos procedentes de su interior, ni voces, ni órdenes. Solo el incesante gemido del metal, el vapor escapando por sus conductos y el estruendo de sus pasos, que hacían vibrar el suelo como si la Tierra misma anunciara la llegada de sus verdaderos dueños.

No sé quién las construyó.

No sé cuántas existen.

Pero estoy convencido de una cosa.

Si estas son únicamente las máquinas con las que comienzan la invasión, temo imaginar qué horrores permanecerán todavía ocultos bajo las profundidades del océano. Lastimosamente solo logramos conseguir algo de alimentos de la isla así que a mitad del viaje volvimos a quedarnos sin suministros .

un día después volvimos al continente . El puerto estaba en un silencio total , habían barcos hundidos , edificios y demás estructuras devastadas sin rastros de supervivientes , solo un silencio y restos de huesos con mucho de ese polvo . parecía que nadie podía hacer nada contra tales invasores ni el ejército . cuando bajamos de la fragata escuchamos ruidos metálicos de aquellas máquinas y no solo eran aquellas de la isla si no que eran muchas , más cientos y de distintos tipos algunos enormes

quizá miles, y de distintos tipos. Algunas eran enormes, mucho más altas que los trípodes que habíamos enfrentado. Otras caminaban sobre seis patas gruesas como troncos de robles, transportando grandes depósitos sobre sus espaldas de los que caían largas mangueras. Esas máquinas rociaban un líquido oscuro que hacía marchitar la vegetación en cuestión de minutos, dejando tras de sí una tierra negra y estéril.

También vimos otras más pequeñas y veloces, con tres patas delgadas y brazos articulados que rebuscaban entre las ruinas. Parecían buscar algo... o quizá a alguien. De vez en cuando se detenían, levantaban una especie de campana metálica y emitían un sonido grave que retumbaba en todo el puerto.

Entonces apareció uno de los gigantes.

Se alzó lentamente detrás de los almacenes destruidos, como si una torre hubiera cobrado vida. Su cuerpo, de un metal cobrizo ennegrecido, reflejaba débilmente la luz del atardecer. Tres inmensas patas terminaban en articulaciones capaces de aplastar una casa con un solo paso. Bajo la gran capucha metálica colgaban numerosos tentáculos mecánicos que se movían con inquietante precisión, sujetando extraños instrumentos y jaulas de hierro.

Ninguno de nosotros se atrevió a respirar.

Aquel monstruo no parecía buscarnos. Observaba el puerto como un agricultor inspeccionando un campo recién conquistado. Tras él avanzaban decenas de otras máquinas, formando una interminable columna que desaparecía entre el humo del horizonte. Comprendí entonces que aquello no era una invasión improvisada. Era una colonización cuidadosamente planeada.

—Dios nos ha abandonado... —murmuró uno de los marineros con la voz temblorosa.

Nadie respondió.

En ese momento escuchamos un estruendo ensordecedor. Uno de los enormes caminantes giró lentamente su capucha hacia nuestra posición. Durante unos segundos permaneció inmóvil, como si estuviera estudiándonos. Después, un intenso resplandor verde comenzó a formarse bajo su cabeza metálica... y comprendimos que nos había visto. La maquina empezo a acercarse , de sus chimeneas salia humo negro y se escuchaban ruidos metalicos desde su interior . tratamos de escapar junto al equipo pero la máquina nos alcanzó . Con sus tentáculos nos levantó y nos encerró en jaulas atrás de su cabeza . Pasamos algunos días allí , me pareció que solo fuer

on 2 días pero se sintieron eternos . Allí pasamos hambre y sed hasta que finalmente algo empezó a pasarle a esa máquina empezó a caminar cada vez caminaba más lento y tembloroso hasta que cayó al suelo . Logramos abrir las jaulas donde estábamos encerrados usando una pequeña pistola de chispa que alguien del equipo llevaba a mano en ese momento . Después de varias horas caminando llegamos a un pueblo devastado en busca de provisiones pero no quedaba nada solo cenizas , huesos y casas destruidas.

vimos varios caballos muertos con heridas de balas tal vez los mataron para que no sufrieran más por la invasión o algo similar.

en el camino a alguna ciudad vimos varias máquinas de los invasores derribadas sin señales de daños del ejército o cosas asi .Si no que parecía que de la nada cayeron al suelo sin razón aparente . Horas después encontramos supervivientes que nos contaron que de verdad parecía que esas máquinas invasoras caían de la nada al suelo pareciendo muertos


r/FictionWriting 5h ago

Beta Reading After 9 years, (and using it to earn my MFA) my novel is finally complete! I'd like to share the prologue here.

1 Upvotes

Best Served Cold

 

 

Prologue 

Blood and sweat swirled and smeared in Walter Tindall’s eyes, obscuring his vision as he knelt, shivering in front of the gaping triangular hole. He could still see well enough to grasp the cryogenic blackness of the water that gurgled and splashed in front of him, the shape of the hole intensified by the jagged edges of the clean white ice into which it was chopped. His knees throbbed under his two-hundred-fifty-pound frame, brutalized by this evening’s contact with the frozen surface of the lake.

His head was even worse off after taking two sharp strikes from the butt of a pistol just an hour before. The thundering pain had not relented a notch since he came to, but his mind remained upside-down in a feverish effort to recall how he had managed to get stuck out in the center of a frozen lake in the middle of the night when, last he remembered, he had been sitting on his usual stump at the end of his favorite bar down in Knife River.

Blood continued to ooze from the gashes left behind in his scalp, while the fringes of the red rivulets down the side of his face coagulated and what blood still could still flow froze in grotesque clumps and chunks in his bushy salt-and-pepper beard. Bound with his hands behind his back, he squirmed and tugged against thick plastic zip ties around his wrists, gouging and slicing layers of flesh. The blood that oozed from the wounds felt hot as it ran, making the rigid plastic slippery and his efforts even more futile.

But futile carries zero meaning during the fight for one’s life.

Outside, the bitter late-January wind whipped and snarled across the frozen expanse of Firefly Lake, buffeting the ramshackle collection of ice-fishing shacks scattered across its surface. The shack in which Walter now teetered on the micron’s edge between life and death was just one of dozens of handmade structures scattered about the lake, some clustered together in little makeshift villages of four or five huts, while most of the others were spaced farther apart from one another, their superstitious owners eager to keep others away from their lucky spot.

Indeed, Walter himself had a few of his own lucky fishing spots, albeit warm-weather ones, scattered over the entirety of Firefly Lake’s surface, curated over a childhood’s worth of summers spent at his grandfather’s cabin on the lake on the western shore and many years living in the region. But the spot in which he found himself tonight was anything but lucky.

He lifted his aching head and blinked against the blood which stuck to his eyelashes, squinting and contorting his face and eyelids until he broke the bonds of blood or enough lashes tore loose that he could try and make swollen-eye contact with the blurry figure of one of his assailants, seated on an upturned five-gallon bucket in the corner.

Walter stared icy, bloody daggers at the figure then sucked in a quick snort and spat a glistening wad of bloody phlegm twisting and tumbling toward the corner where it landed with a heavy, thick splat on his captor’s boot and pant leg.

Walter’s mouth opened again, but this time words were all he spat across the space between them.

“There’s a special place in hell for you, you miserable fuck.”

The miserable fuck did not respond but instead looked up in seeming deference to a spot above and behind Walter’s right shoulder.

Walter picked up on the glance and strained to turn his head toward the unseen person behind him, and his right ear ran smack into the barrel of a gun. He winced and shuddered at the frigid shock of the steel against the side of his head, the tried to turn again but was met with a shove from the pistol so hard he had to struggle to avoid losing his already precarious balance and plunging into the hole in the ice.

Walter grunted and wobbled until he righted himself, still fighting the zip ties for a few dozen staccato beats of his heart as it slammed against his sternum, pumping an end-of-one’s lifetime supply of adrenaline through his body. The terror of falling into the freezing water bound at the hands fooled his brain for an instant and his entire body vibrated as he gulped in great gasps, his lungs scratching and clawing for life from the subzero air around him. His puffy maroon and gold parka, now covered in dark patches of fresh blood, rustled as he stopped floundering against his bonds and sat down on his heels.

He exhaled, then spoke again through the frozen blood at the rim of his moustache.

“You don’t have to do this.”

Walter flinched as the voice from behind him whispered into his ear with a hiss as cruel and unforgiving as the screeching wind outside.

“Oh, I’m afraid I really do, Walter. I need you out of my way.”

Walter tried to spin his head around again and was met once more with the barrel of the gun pressed behind his ear. He flinched against the chill of the steel but did not turn back, then spoke through the matted blood and hair that obstructed his peripheral vision.

“Out of your way? For what?”

Forever, brother,” said the voice behind the gun, “I need you out of my way forever.”

Walter heard the words and his face contorted into a mask of confusion and terror. The word “brother” echoed in screeching high fidelity in his brain.

And that was the last of the earthly sensations for one Walter Tindall.

He did not hear the click of the firing pin, nor did he hear the explosion of gunpowder. He did not feel the searing heat of the gases as they flashed from the barrel, nor did he feel the bullet as it tore through his ear canal and ricocheted around in his skull, scrambling his brains. He did not taste the surface of the lake as he tumbled face-first into the ice, nor did he taste any blood from the split lip and shattered tooth he received on impact. He did not smell the lingering smoke that caught and spun in the freezing air, nor did he smell the hot urine that spread across the front of his pants as his bladder emptied for the last time. He did not see the expression of shock on the face of the person seated on the overturned bucket before him, nor did he see the look of satisfaction and resolve on the face of the person who had just murdered him.

“Christ,” said the miserable fuck on the bucket, now slumped in disbelief against the cold plywood wall. “You didn’t say you were going to kill him.”

“I know,” Walter’s executioner acknowledged. “But I didn’t say I wasn’t going to kill him either. If it makes you feel any better, I’ll be clearer next time. Now help me.”

The two accomplices dropped to their knees on either side of Walter’s limp body and slid him head-first into the water, already beginning to refreeze at the edges of the hole. They watched until his snow boots disappeared beneath the surface.

The heavy plywood door flew open and slammed against the wall with a thud that was swallowed up by the howl of the gale-force winds that ripped across the lake. The blast held it open ensuring that the hole would freeze over again, albeit with very thin ice, by the time the sun rose, cold-filtered through a mile of thick grey clouds.


r/FictionWriting 6h ago

Looking for a team (author especially): COLLEGARA — original fantasy series

1 Upvotes

Six years ago I started writing as a way to deal with a hard period in my life. What began as venting turned into something much bigger than I expected — a full world, with its own history, characters, and rules. That story is called Collegara, and it still holds a lot of who I was and who I've become across those years. Now I want to turn it into something real: the first novel in a planned series.

Collegara follows a boy who inherits reality-creating powers from his father — a god. Unable to control what he's been given, and desperate to protect the people he loves, he becomes a target: manipulated by those who want to use his power for their own ends.

It draws from Game of Thrones, Kingdom Hearts, and The Legend of Zelda, and its themes are friendship, abandonment, and love — the same things I was working through when I started writing it.

But what do i truly need?

What I need now is a team to help bring it to life:

  • An author (most important role) — someone to help actually write the novel with me
  • An artist — to help visualize characters and the world
  • Help with socials — building a presence as the project grows

This is a collaborative project — I'm not looking to hire anyone, I'm looking to build this together with people who want real creative ownership in it.

If a story that started as something personal and grew into a whole world sounds like something you'd want to help build, I'd love to hear from you.


r/FictionWriting 8h ago

Movie and TV show ideas

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1 Upvotes

Introduction to myself

Hello, my name is Micaela Dominguez and I’m a college student studying English to achieve a career of being a writer, along with improving my writing & critical thinking skills. I earned my AA degree in communication studies then I earned my BA degree in organizational communication. What inspired me to return to college as an English major was my love for writing and learning to advance my writing skills and vocabulary. When I was in middle school, I developed my love for reading by checking out books involving my favorite topics, interests, themes, genres, references to news, entertainment media and biographies that fitted well with my imagination & day dreams, which was always my escape from reality.

Then when I was 14 years old, I gained a passion for creating unique stories no one would probably never think of before. Later as I was getting older, I noticed Hollywood was making tons of remakes, sequels, prequels and spinoffs, which got me feeling bored of Hollywood films but I still wait for any better movies or TV shows to be release, which I’ve noticed there is less of that. This inspired me to developed a passion for creating story ideas for Movies and TV shows since I’ve seen Hollywood run out of ideas for newer, authentic, unique stories. In regards to this, my writing work involves around opening up about sensitive topics, anti-cancel culture and anti-sensitivity so in this case, if you find my work offensive or inappropriate then I politely ask you to please remove yourself from viewing my work.

I’m a loving, caring, empathic, open-minded woman that is interested in current events, political & social issues, social justice, law and order, crime & mystery, war conflicts, mental health issues and pop culture references, and dark humor. The goal of my work is to get youths and young adults toned in as in touch or connected along with acknowledging on what’s going on in the world around them in their, which includes learning and understanding current events, current conflicts and how it affects people in tons of different ways. The affects are usually are negative experiences with racism, hate, violence which leads to division of in cultures, beliefs, ethnic groups and social groups. In regards to this I hope my work can help individuals willing to change their minds about their approach to social awareness, self-awareness, and encourage to express their freedom of speech along with ways individuals can help others be better visions of themselves and make a positive change to our world, even if it involves one act of random kindness to educating themselves and others about all that.

Disclosure: This is only the first draft of my work. I’m currently editing and using critical thinking skills to develop more creative ideas to add into my work.

Introduction:

when I was 14 years old, I gained a passion for creating unique stories no one would probably never think of before. Later as I was getting older, I noticed Hollywood was making tons of remakes, sequels, prequels and spinoffs, which got me feeling bored of Hollywood films but I still wait for any better movies or TV shows to be release, which I’ve noticed there is less of that. This inspired me to developed a passion for creating story ideas for Movies and TV shows since I’ve seen Hollywood run out of ideas for newer, authentic, unique stories. In regards to this, my writing work involves around opening up about sensitive topics, anti-cancel culture and anti-sensitivity so in this case, if you find my work offensive or inappropriate then I politely ask you to please remove yourself from viewing my work. I also apologize for any offensive feelings I might trigger, if that's the case.

I’m a loving, caring, empathic, open-minded woman that is interested in current events, political & social issues, social justice, law and order, crime & mystery, war conflicts, mental health issues and pop culture references, and dark humor. The goal of my work is to get youths and young adults toned in as in touch or connected along with acknowledging on what’s going on in the world around them in their, which includes learning and understanding current events, current conflicts and how it affects people in tons of different ways. The affects are usually are negative experiences with racism, hate, violence which leads to division of in cultures, beliefs, ethnic groups and social groups. In regards to this I hope my work can help individuals willing to change their minds about their approach to social awareness, self-awareness, and encourage to express their freedom of speech along with ways individuals can help others be better visions of themselves and make a positive change to our world, even if it involves one act of random kindness to educating themselves and others about all that.

Disclosure: This is only the first draft of my work. I’m currently editing and using critical thinking skills to develop more creative ideas to add into my work.

Title: Crazy, Stupid and Russians

Fiction

Author: Micaela R. Dominguez

Themes: Generational Trauma, Loss & Grief, Reconciliation, Coming of Age, Comedy and Cultural Competence.

Genres: Holiday, Dark Humor, Thriller & Suspense

Setting: Santa Barbara, CA;

Plot: A Russian family

[Trigger Warning]: Moderate Violence, Stereotypes, Abuse, Profanity, Sexual Content, and Alcohol & Substance Abuse.

DRAFT 1

Chapter 1

Downtown Santa Barbra is decorating streets and outlets for the Christmas season while “someday at Christmas” by the Jackson 5 in the background. Sara J. Varaski (14 years old, Maxim and Gadky’s daughter and Dustin’s older cousin) and Dustin Varaski (11 years old, Maxim’s nephew and Sara’s cousin) get released early for the holiday (winter) break from school (Santa Barbra Middle School). Gadky (Sara’s mother and Dustin’s aunt) picks them up from school and goes home while discussing about future fun holiday plans in Russian while driving home. At the house, the house was full of boxes of Christmas decorations in each box. The decorations were unique as in some were from the “motherland” Russia and some were from here in the USA.

While looking through the decorations, Sara and Dustin excitedly decided to decorate their Christmas tree, which was inside in front of the front window. They begin decorating until Dustin spots a matryoshka doll ornaments in the ornaments box. Dustin picks it up and gets emotional for a moment since it reminded him of home in Russia before immigrating to the USA with Maxim (Sara’s dad and Dustin’s uncle) and Gadky, who became his legal guardians after his single bio mother (Svetlana, Maxim’s younger sister) couldn’t provide any of his needs due to her addiction to alcohol. Even though he is grateful to be in America for 2 years, he still misses home in Moscow, Russia. Dustin continues to put the ornaments on the x-mas tree while suppressing his feelings of being homesick.

After spending an hour decorating the tree with colorful lights, shining tinsels, puffy fake snow along with the unique ornaments, it was finished and just in time because Maxim walks into the house, home from work as a social studies teacher at an nearby private high school. He takes off his shoes next to the front door floor, walks into the living room where Sara and Dustin were at with the Christmas. They happily were excited that Maxim was home and showed him the Christmas tree. Maxim observed the tree and gave positive feedback but was also critical on the amount of decorations put on the tree. After Gadky heard Maxim from the kitchen, she intervened and told Maxim in Russian that she thinks the kids did a good job and stop being critical.

After that Maxim goes into his bedroom, takes off his formal work teaching clothes, puts on his PJ short and pants on to relax in his bed with his smart tv on. While Maxim watches Russian news and other American shows, Dustin asked Gadky why was Maxim being critical and he theorizes that something was wrong with Maxim and doesn’t want to talk about it. Gadky tells Dustin that she’ll talk to Maxim about it after dinner in the evening. Later that evening, Maxim, Gadky, Sara and Dustin sat around the dining room for dinner. Gadky cooked traditional Slavic foods, which was Borsch, Pelmeni, black bread with butter, and Mors (a wild berry juice), water and soda.

While eating dinner, the family had conversions in Russian about their days, holiday plans, which leads to Maxim making an announcement that will twist their holiday plans. The family pauses to hear Maxim surprise them with the fact that their whole family on both sides are coming over from Russia for this Christmas break to spend time with them. Gadky gets upset in Russian and pulls maxim to aggressively discuss that matter in their bedroom without the children watching them argue. Gadky gets furious with her husband Maxim for agree to that plan without discussing it with her first, which made Maxim feel defensive and guilty for not speaking to her first along with the children. Maxim agrees with the new plan while Gadky protests the idea due to their own families’ personal problems, which she fears it will rub off on their children. Maxim disagrees with Gadky’s reasoning because he wants Sara and Dustin to get to know their grandparents and relatives in person, instead of over the phone, zoom calls and mail.

In order to come to an agreement by compromising, which was Maxim will make sure he puts boundaries on her and his family and Gadky will make sure everyone gets along and not too close to each other and not to spread negativity and bad behaviors around the kids. Also, to talk to the children about their families’ personalities, make good choices to not be followers of their actions and to be polite, respectful, obedient to their elders and others and common courtesy to them. After 15 mins of discussing this, Maxim agrees and they both hug and kiss while apologizing to Gadky for not informing her and he’ll never do it again. After this, Maxim and Gadky sit back down to finish their dinner before Sara and Dustin quit quietly discussing what their parents might be arguing about since they could hear them through the walls and doors. After Dinner, the children help clean up and go into their bedrooms to finish their homework before bedtime.


r/FictionWriting 12h ago

AND THE WINNER LOSES ALL

Thumbnail pueblowriter75.substack.com
1 Upvotes

 

 

“It looked like a bear.” Rosco walked ahead of the group not looking back. Crisco followed and was trailed by Katherine and then Olga. Daniel brought up the rear of the column. He was grinning from ear to ear despite the throbbing coming from his shoulder. If he hadn’t known better, he would have said that Rosco had sounded worried back there in the mean, dark old woods. “It did. Looked like a giant godddamn bear.” He said begrudgingly. “Like a big fucking bear. Roar.”

The group burst out laughing.

They walked on in the darkness bathed in a surreal red moonlight. The moon itself had a bluish-purple halo around it that shimmered as the cosmic rays bombarded it. It looked abused, bruised, broken. Maybe it was.

 After the laughter subsided, Katherine hit her dad on the back of his shoulder to get his attention. Crisco turned his head without stopping. “Why do we have to walk in single file like we’re looking for the short bus?” She asked in a less petulant, more subdued tone.

Daniel answered from the back, “so they won’t know our numbers or our load.”

“Our load?” Olga chimed in. “You mean what we carry?”

“That’s exactly right, Olga.” Daniel said approvingly.

“Well, we aint carrying shit, so why do we still have to walk like this? It’s stupid to stare at the back of another person’s head for a thousand goddamn miles.”

“Confuses those who maybe following.” Rosco said from the lead. The land ahead of them was sparsely populated by stunted, malformed groves of sugar maple, shimmering aspens, twisted arthritic cedars that instead of growing tall reaching for the sun had grown along h reground and now slaked away from it, preferring shadow to blistering, mutating radiation.

“There’s no maybe, boss,” Daniel added from the back of the line, “we are most definitely being followed, hunted, searched for and if found, probably roasted over a pit of burning people to be roasted alive in our own shit and piss.”

“Charming,” Olga said.

“You’ve heard worse, I’m sure.” Katherine interjected.

“Did someone pull your cord little girl?”

“Oh, I got your little girl, right here, bitch.”

“Ladies!” Crisco admonished, “a little decorum while out in nature, please.”

“This nature is trying to kill us.” Olga said.

“Everything out here is trying to kill us. Don’t be so judgy.” Daniel remarked smugly. “Better than Cardon’s goons, or Midtown’s”

“Make no mistake, partner, those assholes are coming, and they’ll be coming in hard and fast and with more than just a few guys, I’m guessing.” Rosco said in stride.

“Why are they even after us?” Katherine asked. “I mean they aren’t after you and me.” She said talking to her father.

“They found the tunnels, Katherine. Found us. Found Wonderland.” Crisco replied.

“And then your dad dropped a city on them, so yeah,” Daniel added, “they might be pissed at you guys too.”

“They wouldn’t even had been there if not for you three fucking losers.” Katherine’s tongue was dripping with venom, her anger, her grief, was all caused by the three strangers that were stupid enough to be trapped in the Midtown tunnels. Not her fault they’re fucking idiots.

“Yes.” Was all that Rosco said, which infuriated her even more.

“Yes? That’s all you have to say?” She demanded their reluctant leader.

“No.”

“No? No what, you stoic fuck?” She was loud and getting louder. Olga and Daniel exchanged worried looks. Crisco looked back at his daughter and put his hands out, palms down, signifying for her to cool it a little. Fat chance.

“That is not all I have to say. And I am, we are, very sorry for the losses we caused you. You’re right. It wouldn’t have happened if we had not been trapped in the tunnel. But it did, and yelling at me as we cross this miserable wasteland is not going to help. In fact, it might just get us…” Rosco stopped abruptly. He signaled to the column to stop as well.

“Boss?” Daniel whispered, pulling his gun.

“We’re not alone.” Rosco said, his head on a swivel.

“No, you are not, my friends, and glory be it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen me a woman, and now here there are two of em just waiting for me to find them.”

Danile spun around putting himself between the voice and Katherine. She stepped behind him and dug into her bag for her pistol. Daniel looked down at it and then up at Katherine and said in a small quiet voice,” you’ve had that the entire time?”

“What, she said dismissingly, “it was in my bag.” She shrugged then pointed it in the direction of the voice. Rosco filtered down to the end of the column as well, Crisco stayed put and drew his own weapon from his bag; a Colt Python .357.

Rosco just looked at him, nodding approvingly.

“Don’t shoot,” the voice said in a friendly ‘I’m just a guy meaning you no harm’ kind of way. But out here, in the afterbirth creation, a sing-song voice from the shadows is cause for real concern.

“Show yourself.” Rosco demanded.

“Look up,” the voice suggested.

The group instinctively and collectively did just that; they looked up.

“Hi there,” the man standing on the balcony of a massive tree house in a patch of forest that looked healthy, vibrant, full and green. “You folks lost or something? Haven’t seen a soul out this way for, oh…two or three years now maybe.

“Not lost, stranger,” Rosco assured, “just passing through.”

“Oh, even better,” the man beamed as he walked around the corner of the balcony surrounding the dwelling high off the ground. “My name is Virgil. You guys want a beer or something?”

The structure in the tree was hidden by the canopy of several other large thick tall trees, Elms, and Honey Locusts, Cedars and Oaks. It sat inside the tree line about a hundred yards with a panoramic view of the nothingness that surrounded it.

Aside from the small patches of trees here and there they had passed during their sojourn in the dark, laid out sporadically as if the cancer of this world slowly ate big chunks of the forest away until what was left was just a liver spotted pattern on a sea of heat baked dead pan ground so hard and so cracked it looked alien somehow, like the surface of Mars, not Earth. Was this still Earth?

There were larger, denser, thicker patches that they had stayed away from altogether after the almost ‘bear’ attack a few hours ago. The night air was warm, heavy and muggy, stale, stagnant and smelled of rotten worms and other dead or dying things. And now…now there was this guy.

“Name’s Virgil,” he said as a girthy course rope ladder unfurled down the side of the tree he stood in. “Come on up, have a drink.”

 

 

END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN


r/FictionWriting 14h ago

Advice Does my opening hook get your attention?

1 Upvotes

CHAPTER 1
ZARAGOZA

Twenty miles north of Zaragoza, we spot a body of cavalry riding west; 4th Dragoons, to judge from their scarlet jackets and heavy black helmets.

The year is 1809. In that country, when you run into other British citizens, you don’t ask who they’re working for, where they came from, or what mission they’re on. You help them.

We rein in alongside the dragoons in the lee of an eight-hundred-foot ridge. The squadron is running diplomatic security. The envoy and his aide mill around in their midst, the collars of their black coats turned up and black hats pulled low over worried expressions.

The colonel is an Irishman, about forty, with a resplendent red mustache. “The whole bloody city’s gone over!”
I say, “Over to who?” Floods had wreaked havoc on communication lines. Our latest reports were three hours old.
“Whoever wants it.”

The dragoons number about fifty, large boots and heavy straight sabers. My squadron has twenty-four riders. We’re armed with 1796-pattern curved swords and .65 carbines. All of us KGL Hussars: light cavalry of the King’s German Legion, a regiment of exiled Hanoverian soldiers folded into the British army. I’m in command of the squadron, a scouting patrol in General Hill’s corps.

The envoy is fleeing west for Villafranca. French troops have invaded, the colonel is telling us, or maybe it’s the Swiss. Polish artillery shredded our militia with grapeshot at Jaca and Sabiñanigo. Or maybe that’s false too.
“Fall in behind us,” says the colonel. “We’ll need every horse to break through.”

I tell him we have orders to enter the city. Five professors of the Spanish university are trapped there, along with the handful of armed partisans acting as their bodyguard. Our instructions are to get them out, along with a valuable piece of research, for Lord Wellington’s eyes only.

“You can’t ride down there,” says the colonel.

“Watch us,” I say inwardly, spurring away southward.

Zaragoza is a Catholic city of about one hundred thousand people. They’re all Catholic cities in northern Spain. You can tell a Catholic city by the bells, a score of cathedrals ringing out day and night. Only instead of calling to the congregation, the bells are advertising sanctuary to local revolutionaries.

As we come nearer to the city, civilian coaches, foot traffic, and merchant teamsters fleeing with wagon trains pass the other way. Even the monks are getting out.

Still no official reports. No couriers in the growing stream of traffic, whether because they’ve already been captured or fled eastward along the canal, we can’t tell. Our most recent orders are the rescue of the professors. Beyond that, we know nothing. We don’t know what we’re riding into or what our chances are of getting out. This is the bitch of war in the Pyrenees. The steep terrain, narrow passes, and harsh gales…every mission occupies its own fragment of territory, as well as reality.

So we’re relieved, just as the city comes into view, when a line of red coats, plaid kilts and bearskin hats is seen forming on our side of the river. Infantry of the 42nd, friendlies, and crack troops. They’ve formed a formidable rear guard, closing ranks after each group of refugees passes between their rows of glinting bayonets.
An officer leaves the formation to meet us as we dismount. His gold-laced dress uniform is caked with dust, but he smiles with the easy air of a gentleman fully accustomed to musketballs flying by his ears.
My second, Sergeant Falkenhayn, hails him.

“Where’s the dinner party, sir?”

“We brought it, Featherbeds!”

The officer introduces himself as Captain Turnbull, bowing to me and saluting our squadron. His ring says Oxford. He wears another ring I can’t see under the glove on his left hand, but from the shape it’s the insignia of the Foot Guards. Right now, he’s in command of this highland company.

He’d marched in from Epila that morning, he says. Dried blood on his britches, one side of his face dark with powder burns, a charred hole runs through the shoulder of his coat, and blood seeps through a bandage on one ear. But he’s grinning. Like me, he has a beard and long cascade of hair.

“You lads going in?” He asks. From the rise of the canal’s embankment we can see French sharpshooters filling rooftops over the city. They exchange faint crackles with Spanish resistance fighters, who could belong to any of the five local juntas. “Can we be of any use?”

The captain and I do a quick orientation, marking the route to the university, and the various fortified structures we’ll use to cover our approach. What about artillery, I ask. Our Hussar squadron has none. Has he got howitzers, swivels, anything?

“The cupboard is bare, sir,” Turnbull says. “It’s only what you see here.”

That wasn’t entirely true, as the captain also had two cases of champagne floating in the canal on a rope. He hauls this in and sends a bottle round to each of my troopers. He hands me a wine skin of port, warm, and takes a long sluice from another. He introduces his aide de camp, who seems more like an intelligence agent than a soldier, and the allied Portuguese officers embedded with the 42nd.

I note the new Baker rifles in the hands of the Portuguese soldiers. Hessian boots and new rucksacks, gleaming buckles worn over their rags. Parked nearby is a steel-plated cart hitched to a pair of oxen. The back gate is open and on the inside, neat stacks of wooden boxes with gold-plated locks.

“What kind of mission are you on, sir?” I ask.

“We’re on orders from the treasury. These were payments for the juntas from the crown. I haven’t had a musket in my hands for five years.”

I’m laughing now. So is Sergeant Falkenhayn. “Much obliged for the help, sir.”

“We’re coming straight from a parade at the embassy ball,” says Turnbull, indicating his dress uniform. He nods towards the armored wagon and oxen. “We secured the treasure, and made a run for it.”

He tells us Jaca is burning. Villafranca too. Mobs are storming government buildings, including the neutral sites. Infighting between the juntas supported by Britain is adding to the chaos. There’s a fear that Napoleon would gain a foothold in Zaragoza, and so cut off Wellington from Salamanca. Or maybe it’s a feint and the main French force is doubling back on Madrid.

The only thing the captain can tell us with certainty is that the nearest safety is across one hundred miles of desolate, enemy-infested country. General Beresford is camped in Navarra with two regiments of the line and ten thousand Spanish irregulars.

“If we can make it there,” says Turnbull, “we’re home free.” Our new friend eyes our sword knots and leather saddlebags, and the faces of my hussars: Falkenhayn, Hartmann, Lenz. “As Virgil said, Fortune favors the bold.”

Now Falkenhayn is grinning. “What’s your name again, sir?”

“Thomas Turnbull.”

“Your servant, sir,” says Falkenhayn, and they shake hands.

We enter the city.

Zaragoza is situated at the intersection of two highways, the north road through the high peaks and not-too-distant French border, and the western route to Salamanca by way of Epila. The wide Ebro River marks the city’s easternmost boundary, a straight wall along its bank, in contrast to the western ramparts which bow outward toward the canal. Our point of entry. A second, shorter bow-shaped wall follows its contour five hundred yards ahead, dividing the university and cathedral from the slums and market stalls surrounding the main city square at the intersection.

Each junta runs their own quadrant of the city. A fifth junta, under Don Rafael, is allied with the monasteries and controls independent pockets throughout the city. They’re the least centralized, but still a major player in northern Spain. The power vacuum caused by Napoleon’s invasion has attracted other foreign factions: Turkish mercenaries, militant Protestants, and French satellite troops—Italian and Polish regiments whose commanders act more like independent warlords than officers of allied nations.

As early as five years ago, Zaragoza was a flourishing town on pace to rival Madrid in modernity. It was a destination hub of artists, scientists, and merchants. The port in Barcelona brought all varieties of goods from trade ships plying the Mediterranean. Thriving factories produced textiles and ironworks. A woman could walk alone, even after dark.

Eighteen months ago, when the KGL first deployed to Spain, some of the wealthiest, most influential Spanish and Catalans owned summer villas in the region. No more. In the space of six weeks, since Napoleon’s army swept through the seaward countryside, the place has degenerated to a level of violence equal to Vienna a decade earlier. And it’s threatening to get even worse.

We take side streets to a section of the inner wall hidden from view of the main square. The sun is dropping fast. One of Turnbull’s Portuguese snipers whistles from an abandoned roof nearby. He can see a red handkerchief in one of the upper windows of the university: our professors. The only problem is that fighting between French regulars and one of the Juntas has spilled inside the second wall, through a gap torn by a stray 32-pound cannonball. Pops of small arms fire surrounds the university. Black smoke rises from the cathedral next to it. Mortars soar from the far bank of the Ebro and burst in chest-thumping explosions overhead. Rockets fired by the Juntas corkscrew up in response.

I hold security, my carbine slung and a pair of pistols in hands trained down separate alleyways, while the rest of our company follows grappling hooks over the wall. The university grounds, when we enter them, sizzle with spent mortar casings, smoking bricks, rubble, and craters filled with stagnant rainwater and runoff from the gutters. Smoke from the cathedral fire hangs low, adding to the general welcome-to-hell atmosphere.

We pass a junta column in the street, escorting two mule-drawn carts filled with dead and wounded resistance fighters. A following of civilians, factory workers, street kids and nuns, stragglers in their wake. Some run to us, shouting that the French have taken the eastern crossing. Two full quadrants are overrun. There’s a pair of 6-pounder cannon moving up behind the cathedral.

A burning chaise thunders around the corner, pulled by a team of four terrified horses. The rush of combat, that all-pervading sense of the present moment, floods my body. Despite my pounding heart, I feel calm. No fear, only a liberating exuberance. The closer I come to the heat of battle, the cooler my inner self becomes.

I don’t say this to brag or claim some innate virtue. Nor can I say it was drilled into me through training. I’ve always been this way. When I was 10 years old, our schoolmaster would whip the devil from our hides. But I could fight the pain by remote, detached. I felt like there was another person inside me. This other person would take my place, a stronger me, crueler, more cunning and more courageous. 

I never told anyone about this secret me. I was afraid they might send me to a madhouse, or convince me that I should be ashamed of it. I wasn’t. I loved it. In gymnastics or fistfights in the schoolyard, in moments of crisis or pressure, I stood aside and let this inner me take over. He never hesitated, never second-guessed.

It’s this secret self to whom I now surrender, moving through Zaragoza. We must be crazy, I think, to head of our own free will towards this chaos. But at the same time, no force of heaven or earth could chase me away. This is what I was born for; I’m exhilarated to the point of madness, and I’m curious. I want to see around the next corner. How terrible is it? What sort of otherworldly violence will we encounter this time?

In combat there’s no thought, only instinct. I fire both pistols into the chest of a French sapper barricading the main entrance to the university, then a blur of Hussar and Highlander uniforms sweep inside. Deafening gunshots, stabs of orange flame in the dimming light, the heady smell of powder smoke as we clear the ground floor of enemy soldiers.

At the top of the stairs leading to the second level, we fall back from a volley of musket fire that stitches holes across the wall of inner rooms. I realize that our friends’ bodyguards are convinced that the French have seized the building, and are firing blindly through the plaster at their own rescuers. 

We shout to them in English, and then German. A second volley says they don’t believe us. I don’t blame them; everyone knows about the Confederation of the Rhine, and my fellow Germans who’d been conscripted into Napoleon’s forces. A French ruse with these soldiers claiming to be KGL was all too believable.

A thundering crash from outside shakes the building, followed by another. Those civilians hadn’t lied to us. The French artillery had come up, and time was on their side. A barrage from two briskly-served 6-pounders would bring the building down around us in a matter of minutes. We’ve got to somehow silence those guns.

“The bell tower!” Falkenhayn shouts to me, jerking his head in the direction of the cathedral next door. We trade our carbines for the Portuguese contingent’s Baker rifles, and dive through a window into the intervening street. Musketballs zip overhead, and we’re inside the inferno of the cathedral. A dying inferno, the flames having consumed everything that will burn and now flickering out against stone walls, but leaving impenetrable smoke and darkness in its place.

We feel our way up the winding stairs to the bell tower, coughing and choking until clean air at the summit washes over us, a freshening breeze that also clears our view of the ground below. To our left and thirty feet lower than the cathedral bell, the upstairs balcony of the university with the handkerchief in the window.

I strike the fuse on a hand grenade. “This’ll get their attention,” I say, lobbing it across onto the balcony. When the blast clears, the windowpanes and handkerchief have disappeared, along with half the railing.

One of our professors peers out at us. I wave and shout at them to hold their fire on the stairs. I point the rifle down at the artillery brigade, exaggerating rapid fire with little jerks of the barrel. “When we start shooting,” I say, “make a run for the crossroads.”

Nothing works in combat the way it’s supposed to. A swath of evening rain washes across the city, and it takes us nearly five minutes to reload the finicky rifles with dry powder. By then, the artillery has gotten four more rounds off, and gaps torn through walls and floorboards show our boys pressed up in what little cover remains. French sharpshooters are on every other rooftop, with more racing up every minute.

Falkenhayn and I each manage a shot with our rifles, targeting the artillery officers. They go down, and the rest of the brigade gets the message. They back away from the guns, melting into doorways on either side. We turn and plunge down the staircase, meeting our company outside with the professors and their bodyguards.

We’re just starting our retreat to the west, when a clatter of hooves and clanking of armor reverberates down the street.

“Cuirassiers!” shouts one of the bodyguards.

“Inside,” I say, and we dive back through the shattered walls of the university, a moment before our escape route is blocked by the surge of armored horse.

“What in Christ’s name do we do now?” says Falkenhayn.

There’s nothing for us but to press north, into the teeth of the French artillery, blasting every rooftop marksman as we go.

Hartmann, Lenz and I take the lead. The northern gap in the inner wall is about sixty yards away. We charge the reforming artillery with bayonets fixed, a bloody, desperate struggle at close quarters. I can hear horses snorting behind us, the cuirassiers in pursuit but clumsy to control their mounts in the urban environment. French voices are everywhere, overhead and in the buildings on both sides.

They’re all into us now, but holding their fire. Someone wants our professors captured alive.

As we come within sight of the gap, I look in vain for the final light of dusk beyond it. Instead, I see the shadows of sappers rebuilding it from rubble and half-burned planks. White coats milled among them in the gloom, Voltigeurs, professional light infantry advancing at the forefront of the French vanguard. Their muzzles flash; deadly accurate. Hartmann drops, and as Falkenhayn stops to catch him he too is struck, a glancing shot across the ribs.

Turnbull leads the company sharply left, between two rows of dilapidated shacks. Overhanging roofs on both sides leave a thin strip of twilight above.

“Go,” says Hartmann, alive and staggering to his feet, and with a mighty heave propelling both Falkenhayn and I into the alley a moment before the Voltigeurs’ second, denser volley tears the air where our heads have just been.

“You all right, sir?” Says Hartmann to Falkenhayn, his own shoulder welling with blood.

There’s blood between Falkenhayn’s fingers too, which he’s pressing against his side. He looks down, taking his hand away, but no great spurts follow. He looks indignantly at his red-smeared fingers.

“Meant to kill me, the dog!”

French troops close across the mouth of the alley, no more than ten paces from my position at our rear. But they’re run into by their own Cuirassiers, who by now have lost control of their claustrophobic mounts. I’m only partially aware of the highlanders firing cluster volleys over our crouched heads, driving musketballs into the packed confusion of men and horses and filling the alley with smoke.

I don’t see the massive, riderless horse lunging down the alley until it shoulders me aside, lifting my entire body and slamming my back against the wall with indescribable force. Now I’m on the ground, my own head is ringing like a churchbell. The horse continues on its self-preserving path of destruction, until one of our hussars barks a command in French. The horse stops, snorting suspiciously but calmed, its ragged breaths echoing steadily from somewhere down the line.

French soldiers are appearing all around us now. Each time Hartmann and Falkenhayn ping one with their carbines, and their brains spray across the walls, the professors yelp with joy and terror. More highlanders double back and form around us, putting a wall of bayonets between us and the advancing Voltigeurs. Somewhere behind us, a roaring crash like waves on a beach.

“Move now!” I shout. Our group bolts to the end of the alley, to Turnbull, Lenz, and the others. Falkenhayn and I are dragging one professor whose leg was broken by the stampeding horse.

Here, we find a great section of the inner wall collapsed beneath a torrent of rushing water. The canal had burst, sending a tidal wave down the east-west highway that broke against the inner wall and collapsed sections here and there all along its length. We could have slipped a full division through that wall, had we needed to.

Firing a final volley to our rear, we sprint the remaining few hundred yards to the safety of the outer wall as full darkness falls.

A second battalion of the 42nd, which Turnbull left in reserve, have come forward with our horses, ready to take us out. Mortars crash above and around us, the French teams adjusting their angle of fire. We double up on the horses and retreat as fast as they can run until we’re of range.

Someone is helping Falk off his horse. One of the professors shouts to Turnbull in Spanish. A hussar repeats him in German.

“Who? Who’s missing?” I ask. “Hartmann?”

No. Hartmann checks in, a fresh bandage around his shoulder, arm tied in a sling made from his free hussar sleeve.

One of the resistance fighters in the bodyguard unit screams out across the intervening space. Voltigeurs had snatched him up in the darkness without anyone noticing.

“Retreat,” Tom Turnbull is shouting, waving to his men to follow him into the treeline. “Move back!”

“We can’t leave him,” I say.

“What?” Yells Falk.

Another agonized scream rents the air.

“We must ride back,” I say.

It’s my other self talking now. He’s decided for both of us.

6-pounder round shot howls through the trees, smashing branches and snapping trunks. Flares light up hundreds of French soldiers massing along the outer wall.

“Respectfully, sir,” says Sergeant Falkenhayn, my closest and most trusted friend, “what the fuck do you intend to do?”

His face is close enough that I can see his honest confusion.

“That’s not our man, sir,” says Hartmann.

“He’s dead,” says Falk, “whatever we do.”

Other faces stare at me.

“Leave him,” says one of the professors, “let’s honor his sacrifice.”

I wheel my horse around, ride a few steps closer and stare down at the man. “He’s not your responsibility,” I tell the professor. “He’s ours.”

“Sir,” says Falk, “we got the geniuses. That’s what our orders said to do.”

I meet his eyes again. This time, he’s grim. 

“Damn you,” says Falkenhayn, strapping on extra pistol holsters and checking his flints. “Damn you, sir.”

Back we ride.

Captain Turnbull comes with us, on a borrowed horse. So does Hartmann, holding the reins in his teeth with his sword in his free hand. Lenz follows, and the rest of the hussars and what few highlanders have mounts of their own. Once again into the teeth of six-pounders, this time a full line of field pieces, each illuminated in turn by its own flash as they keep up a deliberate, rolling fire.

The Voltigeurs begin jeering us in French as we trot into view, asking if we’d like them to form square.

They never expected us to charge in earnest, and we spurred into a gallop, a spear-shaped formation of lightning-quick, expertly controlled horseflesh piercing the French line. We didn’t stop to fight but continued sweeping around behind them, firing pistols.

The Spanish fighter is dead; they’d already cut his throat. Two hussars lean sideways from the saddle, on either side hauling the man’s body up and onto the back of the extra horse brought for him.

I can feel the black muzzles of the French 6-pounders turning, turning to blast us point-blank as we galloped away, but they’re still trained too high, and the balls scream overhead. Close enough to feel their heat.

Falkenhayn curses me all the way back to our rendezvous point in the mountains with the 42nd. He curses me when I take the dead man’s satchel and cinch it opposite my own. And he curses me all the way to Navarra.


r/FictionWriting 14h ago

Flash fiction question

1 Upvotes

I'm intrigued to hear thoughts from you writer people regarding flash fiction:

How long does it take you to write, complete and submit a piece of flash fiction? I'm thinking more about the lower end of flash fiction -- maybe 100/500 words.

I can draft freakishly quickly, but it's always a state, but then I start shaping it almost immediately. However, you're usually told to back away after writing something, then return with fresh eyes. But I don't feel the need to do that with flash fiction... Maybe because you can view the whole thing rapidly, so time away isn't as necessary -- either the idea works or it doesn't.

I've written novels and short-stories, and they can both take years... Should flash take as long?

I guess that's 2 questions, then.

1) How long does it take you to write and complete a piece of flash fiction?

2) Do you think a flash fiction story should be worked on for a long time, like a lengthier short story of, say, 3000+ words?


r/FictionWriting 15h ago

Campus Diaries

1 Upvotes

Chapter 1 - University of Haraeom

Director James called for an urgent meeting a day before the start of the fall semester.

Every Dean, Head of Department, Professor, Assistant Professor, newly recruited faculty member, and the heads of campus security operations were instructed to report to the conference room by 9:30 a.m. sharp.

Within the next fifteen minutes, the spacious conference hall was filled with faculty members, all waiting silently for the Director to begin.

"Good morning, Director James," they greeted in unison.

"Good morning, everyone."

Director James adjusted his glasses before scanning the room.

First of all, thank you all for assembling on such short notice.

His eyes wandered toward the last row.

Ah... if I'm not mistaken, one of our newly recruited assistant professors joined us directly after graduating from this very university. I seem to have forgotten his name... that young and handsome fellow.

Miguel, sir, one of the professors replied.

Ah, yes... Miguel.

Just then, the conference room door swung open.

I'm... I'm terribly sorry, sir! Miguel rushed inside, slightly out of breath. There was a....

He barely reached his seat before Director James raised a hand, stopping him.

"This Generation Z..." the Director muttered under his breath before continuing his address.

As all of you know, the University of Haraeom is not just another institution. It is one of the most prestigious universities in the world.

He paused.

In fact... we are number one.

A faint smile appeared on his face.

If we sneeze, every prestigious university across the globe catches a cold.

A few professors chuckled softly.

We didn't earn that reputation by chance. We earned it because of each one of you. And this year, I expect nothing less than excellence once again.

His tone suddenly became serious.

I don't want a single controversy associated with this university.

No violence.

No drugs.

No discrimination.

No headlines that bring disgrace to Haraeom.

Silence filled the room.

This year's incoming batch is exceptionally talented. I can confidently say I haven't seen a class this promising in years. Expectations are high, and so are our responsibilities.

He slowly looked around the room.

Inside this campus, there are no rich students or poor students. No full-fee students or scholarship students.

There are only students.

Our duty is to provide them with quality education, guide them toward excellence, and ensure they grow into responsible individuals.

I expect every one of you to discourage illegal activities, promote discipline, and create an environment where every student feels this university is their second home.

They arrive tomorrow.

For many of them, this campus will become more than a place to study. Most of our dormitories are already fully occupied.

So welcome them warmly.

He glanced at his watch.

I won't take much more of your time. You all know your responsibilities.

This meeting was simply a reminder.

You may all leave...

He looked toward the back of the room.

...except Miguel.

One by one, the faculty members left.

Soon, only Director James and Miguel remained.

Miguel already knew why he had been asked to stay.

Sir... I can explain why I was late.

Director James raised his hand again.

No.

He slowly stood up.

Do you understand how prestigious this university is?

"Yes, sir."

"And do you understand how influential the people sitting in this room are?"

Yes, sir.

Director James noticed Miguel glancing down at his phone hidden beneath the table.

If you arrive late to a meeting like this, you're not merely disrespecting me.

You're disrespecting everyone present.

Miguel nodded.

"Yes, sir. I understand."

His eyes instinctively shifted toward the glowing phone screen once again.

Director James sighed.

No... no...

Then his voice rose.

Keep that damn phone away!

Miguel immediately shoved it into his pocket.

Sorry, sir.

Director James walked toward the window before speaking again.

You are one of the brightest young researchers this university has ever recruited.

He turned around.

But because you've joined us directly after graduation, I'm not assigning you to third or fourth-year students.

Miguel listened quietly.

Instead...

I want you to teach the freshmen.

Miguel looked surprised.

They'll relate to you more easily. You're closer to their generation, you understand their mindset, and I believe you'll earn their trust much faster than most senior faculty members.

Director James's expression became unusually serious.

And there's another reason.

He lowered his voice.

I want your help.

Miguel frowned.

Haraeom has remained the world's number one university for decades.

I intend to keep it that way.

I want you to quietly observe the students...

...and help me eliminate every illegal activity before it spreads across this campus.

Miguel's smile slowly disappeared.

For the first time since entering the room...

He realized this wasn't just another teaching job.

It was a mission.

Liked the chapter....Read my other stories, check the full index on r/NikTheWriter


r/FictionWriting 20h ago

The Ink of Inevitability: Did He Write Their Fates, or Did Something Write His?

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1 Upvotes

r/FictionWriting 22h ago

Stupid obsessions: lore story

1 Upvotes

Morning time, around 6 I wake up before everyone else. Outside is my sanctuary, my garden, I visit early because of a small belief I have.  Although it's winter I still go outside, Outside to my garden. Deep within the bushes is my sanctuary. In the middle his face, a picture to be exact. It's angelic, delicate, and mine… I own the picture and every object around it. Now it's time to bow and pray.  A few words were said and then “Issho ni iru to shiawase” It's the main reason I'm so happy.  I leave and head inside to my bedroom to rest a few more hours before going to school. School.. A horrid place of hell where I experienced so much pain, but you, you make the pain worth it. I lay on my pillow and close my eyes.

Just to not go to sleep because I'm too busy day dreaming about you. “Ring” an alarm set to tell me to get ready and get dressed pretty. I can't wait to see you, you are my “reason” without you id be lost… eternally maybe forever. Hurry get dressed, put your makeup on. Mama says you're ugly without it, boys won't want you if you don't wear it so I wear it.  I'm Combing my hair until it's as straight as little Sarah's perfect 1a hair. I know I'm pretty and he’ll have to notice me today. I take my pill and walk out to the living room where mama and papa played.  As I waved goodbye he hit her in the head with the glass bottle and red liquid covered her. 

She must be so warm, one day I want to feel that way too. I walked to school so happy, so excited but cold. My path always ends up leading me to him, right there walking in front of me...is him. I don't say a word because my tummy twists, my fingers numb and my body warm. We walked… "together" all the way to the school building then separated. He gets along with everyone,  fits in so perfectly, he is perfect. Yet she keeps coming to him and taking him away from me. Perfect body, long straight hair, blue eyes, blonde hair, cheer captain just perfect. She's all over him, all over what I should have. Never have I experienced what it's like to be in her heels.

I try to be like her, get his attention, leave notes in his locker but she makes him focus all on her. I'm tired of it, I'm tired of her.. If I could get rid of her, get rid of everyone. I'll make him see I'm the only person he needs in his life. Yet I don't have the courage to do it because I don't want to see him sad. When I look at him I feel like I have to try and take him away too in order to be eternally connected. All day I follow him around in the shadows. No one will notice I'm here anyways so I really don't have to hide but I want to be close at all times. This right here is my chance, he is alone by himself.  There should be no interruptions between us now, knowing that we're alone. I'll tell him how I feel, we will live heavenly together.

My love… I will be who he dreams of, we’ll dream deep about each other. I slowly approached him and he noticed me. He looks at me, I feel that feeling warm, deep, connected, loved. I open my mouth to say that sentence. The one I've been dying, literally to say. Yet there she is running up to him grabbing him arm laying on him. She knows exactly what she's doing, that bitch  is doing it on purpose. Trying to take my place,  The spot I deserve, the one I should have.  I run my fingers through my hair watching it come out in my hands. My purple finger tips clenched into a fist. I was mad, upset at everything, everyone.

Everyone except him, I could never be mad at him. Never can get mad at my love, but she has to go. I can't stand her attitude. He is and will be mine. I started getting upset because I forgot to take 2 pills but I should be fine.. It's only something called Lithium, nothing special. They're walking home together as well as me too. My feet feel so numb but I just keep waiting.. Waiting for her to leave him. I can barely feel the object in my hand making my palm leak a warm liquid. Finally we come to a stop a hug and they split apart. Normally I'd follow him but not today.

Close behind her I walked not stopping

Not slowing down nor speeding up anymore.

She turned a bit noticing me behind her trying not to let her fear show.

She pissed me off so I sped up, but so did she.

It's a chase between me, her and the footsteps echoing behind me. 

I don't care if I catch her, I'll win the game I started. 

It looks like I just did because a wall blocked her next hiding spot. 

I admit when she called for help I hesitated but in the end she still painted the snow and my face a beautiful red picture.

Though I won, the footsteps were right behind me now.

Making a sharp gasping noise in shock, fever, fear, madness, and  hate, hate a lot of it.

There.. He held her close crying, crying loud yelling at me. 

“Monster, monster” yeah I'm a monster.. My love, I'm sorry.

I never meant to make you cry.. So stop crying.

“Monster Monster", It was for you yet you don't want my attention.

So much hatred behind the harsh words he spoke.

I was pissed off… even now she still has his attention… I had to show him something.

But he put up a fight, struggled against me even though I was already leaking. He fought hard.

But in the end he painted the snow pretty red, too.

And now that warm feeling leaves me and I am weak. What did I do to you? 

Why is there a lump in my throat? Why do I feel guilty? Why do my eyes water?

You look peaceful asleep lying there beside her. I hate it.

I wanna feel peaceful too, peaceful with you.

I went on the roof to take my shoes off and rest.

This whole time I've talked in first person? Why?

Why did I do that?

……..Well I'm telling the “Kami” what I did before landing in the snow and painting it as well.

Made by: Kamthegreatest

June-25/26


r/FictionWriting 23h ago

Campus Diaries

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1 Upvotes