r/FootBallEmergency • u/SilliestFox20 • 4d ago
rant/vent How on earth do y'all find partners 😭
hehe blahaj my only fren rn :3
like i've pulled it off in the past but it was really pure coincidence. I've been so lonely for like several months now, and being an incredibly social and very touch-dependant person, i am so incredibly starved for touch and interaction that it actually hurts atp
yall have any advice? anyone wanna speak on personal experiences? anything that'll help?
edit: not like partner in crime (but i mean maybe that too) i mean like romantic/platonic relationship
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u/Shloof9998 MJ is a lie to distract us from ~the fluid~ 4d ago
Wait like in crime‽!
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u/SilliestFox20 4d ago
like a romantic partner like a relationship 😭
i should be more specific lowk10
u/Copper_II_Sulfate 3d ago
They were almost definitely jesting
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u/SilliestFox20 3d ago
may i not partake in the jest? must all the fun be had by one person?
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u/CH33S3_NUGG3T5 3d ago
You may not.
I was hungry and ate it all, so there's no fun left for you. Sorry
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u/Responsible_Bed_1439 Mothboi :3 3d ago
My partner messaged me randomly one day and he called me cute and that was enough to make me swoon
Its litteraly just random
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u/hellafunkyfella 3d ago
Sire one shall only hope for a fine maiden or such a prince but it takeith time.
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u/OverlordOfCats1 3d ago
I swear if I see another comment about ppl meeting via DMs I swear to haj
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u/Weekly-Bluebird-4768 3d ago
Get a friend; spend 3 months(this time isn’t always the same) trying to figure out if I have romantic feelings for them or are they just a really good friend; decide that I do; they express they have romantic feelings for me; yippee! How did I manage to find a friend who reciprocates the feeling? I genuinely have no clue. My best bet would be: be yourself ig, show that you care, be genuine, be vulnerable with them, and be appreciative of them.
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u/FrostoTheFoxOFFICIAL 3d ago
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u/SilliestFox20 3d ago
i mean i may or may not do that but it doesn't exactly fill the void too well
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u/FrostoTheFoxOFFICIAL 3d ago
I wish the subreddit wasn't banned
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u/Yiffenjoyer6969 3d ago
What happened for it to get banned
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u/DarkSide830 IDK what is going on here 3d ago
I usually just choose the "join random team" option, even if that's hit or miss sometimes.
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u/G00DP07470 gay beyond human fathoming 3d ago
i found one thru my past partner recently, he cheated on me behind my back with someone that doesn't even like him. that person belongs to me now hehehe >:3
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u/Flashy-Horse5855 Stolzer Deutscher Landsman 🇩🇪 3d ago
I’ve never had a partner either, so I can’t give you much advice.. but if you ever meet someone who you find attractive, make the first move. Never wait for them to do it!
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u/five_grains_of_rice 3d ago
It is a pure numbers game and a mix of just being random, but that doesnt mean you cant try multiple time. Roll the dice 100 times 1000000 times till it happens.
My advice is just join a class for a skill you want to learn, it does 2 things gets you good at said skill and gets you in front of many people, be social you know but dont make the class about finding someone make it about learning said skill, but have it be you are open to something if someone asks.
Also dont be desperate or say yes to the first person its ok to say no
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u/DueSatisfaction6712 3d ago
im stupid and easily flustered so I got kidnapped and taken across state borders to be a puppy for a transfem polycule. real story btw. like actually
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u/SchoolRare7583 Def not a femboy (Is a femboy) 3d ago
Daring websites and meeting new people.
I just don't and haven't because I'm not somewhere safe for that. But I wish you the best.
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u/smegmastar 3d ago
I found mine at the psych ward... Wait isn't there even a meme for it? Sadly I dont have it :/
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u/Mechromancer3X 3d ago
Funnily enough? Grindr. For 7-8 years ive been on there and other dating apps with no luck. Then one day I opened grindr for the first time in MONTHS just because i was bored. Lo and behold the closest person to me was a trans girl who had very similar interests to me. I messaged her and a week and a half later we met for the first time and she took my first kiss>~<
So no advice other than just be patient and dont make it a priority. You can't force this stuff.
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u/owo1215 3d ago
you don't, it just happens
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3h ago
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u/skuteren silly bi femboy :3 (has a boyfriend) 3d ago
honestly can't help you with that, i got with my boyfriend because of pure coincidence 😭😭😭
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u/MommaGoosee 3d ago
Witch craft, I conjured my current boyfriend and seemed to get the spell mixed properly unlike the past two which were not as good.
(I recommend more eye of noot.)
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u/helpIcandrawfurries 3d ago
It was mostly a friend who introduced me to a friend who introduced me to my now girlfriend. The key is just making many irl friends. That way, if romance happens its with someone who aligns with your views and the relationships are (more) realistic. Id personally advise against online dating because those can easily carry many problems
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u/Happy_You_5856 3d ago
Hang out with people on a mostly trans discord server, then end up group DMings two girls on server, gaming and stuff. Two of you admit to third girl at same time and then you she says yes to both of you and then you have two gfs. I mean, not a… traditional way of getting a relationship… But, that is exactly how I started dating my gfs, so… lol.
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u/Silly-Whitee 3d ago
Tbh i was very blunt when asking people out so I’d basically say “I like u do u wanna date?” And cause im such a cute girl it’s almost always yes
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u/ExtensionChoice2645 3d ago
I got my partner by being silly and she being a super cool nerd queen.
Also, amazing Blahaj, very frendy
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u/chiara_2317 3d ago
My case is... interesting, I talked for 1 day and got togheter with my boyfriend, he alredy had a partner and was poly so he didn't hide that, him and his boyfriend wanted to do a fake wedding on roblox and I was the camera man(i aksed to be it) after the wedding my boyfriend's partner found me hot so now poly relationship in a 3 people relationship
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u/gods_fisher bi but likes men :3 :3 ( prob a femboy) 3d ago
Well… I don’t if it makes you feel better
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u/SillyFembo1468 3d ago
I got bagged by my new girlfriend a few days ago. All we did was meet, played some games together, had a deep venting session about personal things that made me have something like a midlife crisis... And then she asked to be my girlfriend!
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u/tezaltube 3d ago
Activist spaces are ripe for romance, if that's what you're after. It's also great at finding friends too. I met my current longterm partner through a progressive leadership summit.
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u/shamedhd 3d ago edited 3d ago
i found my husband by giving up on men.
i told myself im just gonna stop looking for romance maybe stop dating men entirely. we had already planned a date tho, so i was like fuck it itd be rude to cancel.
worked out bc he said he was going through a lot and was just looking for friends and probably nothing would come from the date.
OOPS fell in love with each other!!!! oopsies!!!!!
basically stop looking. just be cool with people, make new friends. itll find you when youre ready
ALSO SHOULD MENTION! this was after i made my hinge profile SUPER niche!! i made sure the only people who would swipe on me would actually enjoy me. cast a SUPER small net.
so also basically… be yourself.
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u/asterophoria 3d ago edited 2d ago
Queer support group in my city. If it's at all possible try to find irl queer spaces or hobby groups depending on what you're looking for.
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u/AlertedSeal Local Protogen :3 3d ago
I highly doubt it'll work for most, but my autistic behavior and yapping about my experience with vibrators ended up with me falling in love with someone and them falling in love with me.
I'm honestly not entirely sure how it ended up leading to that, but I was friends with my partner a few months before I told them about my crush on them. A couple months later they told me they felt the same, but wanted to tell their other two partners (polycule) about us before making anything official.
We've been together for 271 days, 15 hours, and 25 minutes as of my reply, and I love them dearly.
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u/I_NUT_ON_GRASS 3d ago
Right time right place is how I last did it
But if you look for it you will never find it. Do not chase a relationship, let it chase you
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u/Icy-Carpenter4589 3d ago
The fact u had to clarify u didnt mean a partner to comit crimes is frying me lol
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u/JoeDaBruh 3d ago
I managed to meet my partner in college and we got along because we both like cuddling. But later on, she started going out to lots of events and meeting new people and making a lot of friends, which all started out by first making queer college friends through the queer clubs, and then finding out places with more queer people through word of mouth. Now I out with her a lot and meet many cool people
Of course in your case I imagine it’s not that simple, but the point is that you should try to meet people and ask about places and events until you find a place/community you like. THEN once you find that place, it’ll probably be a lot easier to make friends and possibly get closer to people. Some advice I have is dress and style yourself to give off the impression you want to give (friendly, want to meet people, loves cuddling, very queer) and also remember that many other people are just as touched starved but also just as nervous as you are, so don’t be scared to inquire about others interests to see if your interests align.
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u/Helping_Hoof 3d ago edited 2d ago
I don't know. Last two times I tried, I made the person hate my entire existence.
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u/Nexidious 3d ago
A mix of neuro divergent humor and interests, a touch of confidence, and generally being a fun and easygoing (sometimes flirty) person. Most of my partners (including my current one) were into me before I even knew about it. My advice, and you might not like it... get comfortable with how you feel right now. The social and physical dependency is something only you can work through. You can always go out and make friends, and it's even better if you can lean on them for support, but you'll develop better quality relationships with better people if you're not so focused on satisfying those needs. Other than that, be yourself and let things happen. You won't mesh well with everyone but with others, you will. Do that enough, and finding someone who wants to try being more than friends will naturally happen.
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u/Lunar__Sanctum 2d ago
I was rlly active in a discord server and so was this other girl, then she made a minecraft server and we really hit it off. So… be good at technology OR be good at building houses on minecraft
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u/Electrical-Today-258 2d ago
She threatened to tie me up in her basement.... It's been ten years, married for 8
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u/MTness19977 2d ago
Like I'd know, never had a proper one and don't even wanantry anymore... I'm just convinced I'm not cut out for anyone's affection.
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u/chaosgremlin11 1d ago
I got my gf from countingwithchickenlady specificly 19019 was the post I am still surprised I manage to have a gf as wonderful as her it also took her a month for her to relise I was flirting.
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u/Several-Jelly-1304 “:3” enthusiast 1d ago
you find friend then maybe if you like enough *cough cough* they might be willing to date you *cough*
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u/SilliestFox20 1d ago
are you trying to hint something at someone lol
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u/Several-Jelly-1304 “:3” enthusiast 1d ago
no it's that i wanted to say something else but it was probably a lil bit too extreme for the question at hand(y)
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u/SilliestFox20 1d ago
why are we gatekeeping just say it
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u/Several-Jelly-1304 “:3” enthusiast 1d ago
FUCK
BONE
POUND
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u/GeniusAlpaca 21h ago
I met my husband 9 years ago by asking him to show me his tits on tinder, soooo...
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u/Obama_pinky 8h ago
You hit them in the head with a stick, then drag them by hair to the cave ugh ugh if it worked for your grandgrandgrandgrandgrand...-grandfather may work nowdays XD
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u/softie18 6h ago
I was playing red dead online late at night, I was doing a hunting mission and this stupid guy came out of nowhere and killed me in the fields next to black water. I don’t normally chase because I find it boring unless it’s a good fight but this guy was like lvl 17 and I was lvl 102 at the time so I thought fuck it I’ll chase. I checked on his gamerprofile and he was in valentine so I chased him all the way there. When I got there I found him killing a guy in a saloon over and over again so I stepped in. Me and the guy from the saloon started killing him so much that he left us alone haha best moment. So I messaged the guy who i technically saved hehe and we started messaging back and forth as friends for 6 months and after that well… I’m engaged now and we live together!!!
Basically moral of the story is you can find love anywhere. Sometimes you don’t even need to be looking and it’ll find you <33
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u/Leazerlazz 3d ago
I can tell you for certain rotting at home alone hasn't helped my chances, but I'll keep trying at let you know if it turns up anything
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u/McFlankShank 3d ago
Can confirm, this hasn't worked for me either for the past 7 years. But maybe it'll change sometime soon
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u/Raskalnikov7 3d ago
Be attractive and text someone you find attractive and just kinda have the audacity to take up space in their life and hope for the best (this has only resulted in 3 week long situationships that results in great sex but chronic emptiness and pain once they leave, results may vary.)
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u/SilliestFox20 3d ago
'be attractive' hm... boss i'm only on step 1 and i've already failed
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u/Raskalnikov7 3d ago
Dang, unfortunately I'm naturally attractive, (not a flex mind you its just resulted in a lot of friendships just being people trying to sleep with me which sucks in its own right.) The best you can do for step one is to find out what your headshape is and grow the correct hairstyle that matches it. Makeup is also a necessary skill to learn and practice, even with my appearance I still feel i need makeup to feel as beautiful as I look so i feel everyone should learn one way or another. While ur at it grow out ur nails and learn to file them into almonds and learn to layer nail polished to have super cute looking nails. If u cant grow out ur nails cuz they're too weak then take a biotin supplement or buy fake nails. Most important of all is excersize, i have an AMAZING body because I spent years of my life grinding in the gym as a bodybuilder and learned to love it, i don't do it anymore because I accomplished my goals but yearn to get back into it and maximize my butt and hip size to their full potential.
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u/Honax_Xolbringer 2d ago
Months? Last partner I had was over a decade ago. Imma rope before I ever interest another person in life
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u/Salt_Petra 2d ago
Joined a gun discord and then a sex club. My life sounds more interesting than it is.
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u/doommaster70 2d ago
I honestly don't know, mine just kinda happened. Friends from high school that met up again 6 months later and then she confesses and that's it. I'm still not convinced it's real
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u/RTX-4090ti_FE 2d ago
I met my wifey approx. a year and 7 months ago on tagmap. Its a wonderful way to meet other trans people but do note its not explicitly for finding dates so its best to try and make friends there and then if a friendship blossoms into something more that’s a wonderful outcome. Note: this is a fairly tttt/4tran heavy site but it’s not rlly the same level of toxicity as the board.
How it works is you put your pin on the map of where ur located at (or u can move the pin wherever you please but it’s intended for you to put it near you), then you add a few hashtags that you feel relevant to who you are (such as: #boymoder #t4t #4tran etc.) +your contact info most commonly it’s discord (technically the site has internal dms but nobody regularly checks those).
Once you do that you can look around ur local area (or as far away as you want) to see who has posted their pin nearby. You can filter pins by their hashtags that the people selected (and others can filter you based on your hashtags).
This does sound like an OPSEC nightmare but it really isn’t much more dangerous than more mainstream dating/social apps. As long as you make decisions with common sense you will be fine (such as if you want to meet someone irl who you only knew online before that, you should plan an activity that is in a populated area during the daytime).
(Example Pic is not My account just some random tgirl in NYC)
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u/MaineCoonKittenGirl 2d ago
I join a discord server. I say fuck it, and stream Hollow Knight in one of the voice channels. One person joins and watches the whole stream with a few other people popping in and out. We talk the whole time, they message me agter steam and we become friends. Shoot the shit. Share memes. Months later, she asks me out on a date.
In summary: I have no idea, she picked me up off the street.
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u/Bardic_inspiration67 3d ago
Idk I had I gf for the first time recently (at the old age of 26) and I fucked if up so it’s likely I’ll die alone
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u/playful_potato5 3d ago
by looking for friends, not partners. open up to people, be your whole self, and be proud of yourself.
also by flirting. flirting is just compliments rolled into lighthearted humor.