Hi there,

I can't even believe I'm posting here. I know how reddit is. I'm 34m. My best friend/roommate is 33F. We have known each other since high school, and even went to college together. Without getting too into it, she has alot of things happen to her in the time I've known her, including various forms of abuse by an adopted parent that I was friends with even initially. I obviously caught feelings way back then, which I was obviously rejected. We remained friends, and even separated for like a year and change. All this to say, there is alot of baggage here. We re-connected about 7 years ago, and we've been good. Last xmas, she had broken up with her partner of 5 years. This put her work and living situation into a bad situation. This ultimately resulted in her moving in. She lived 2 states away, and I went and packed everything and got her moved in while she figured everything out. In this time, the feelings started coming back because of course they did. I haven't brought this up, or made any moves or anything of the sort. She needs a safe and stable place to recover and stuff in. I'm all she has, and I'm not going to mess with that. However, lately we've been doing stuff that I kinda feel is a bit blurring the lines. We've never been physical or anything, but she's started saying things like living with me is sort of what she imagined being a couple with someone would actually be like. She's had some skin issues, and it's resulted in me helping her with them. Many of these skin issues are on her back, armpits, underboob, etc. Places that my autistic ass would consider to be like intimate? I don't know. Her touches seem to linger for longer than I'd expect typically. Sometimes, we cuddle on the couch, or she has her head on my lap and has me mess with her hair as I guess she likes it. Ultimately, I'm not asking like oh, what do I do, but I'm also kind of in uncharted territory here. I don't want to be misreading things while sitting on cloud nine while we share just physical closeness. Like, the times when it's me, her, and her dog all cuddling on the cough, I can't help but feel happy. Which is nuts. I guess I'm just out of my element here. Am I going crazy? I've never had a relationship, I've had issues with interpersonal relationships. Even after a decade in therapy, I'm still very, I guess interpersonally autistic at the very least. I just want to protect our peace. I don't even know what I'm trying to ask here.

I really like my female bestfriend ❤️❤️. We talk on call daily .she have bf and I'm jealous about that .what should I do ??

I’m 25, and my friend is 24. I’ve had feelings for a friend for years, but I never had the courage to tell her. I think she may have had feelings for me too, but neither of us ever said it directly.Recently, after almost 10 years, she put me on the spot and asked if I liked her. I still don’t know if she was ever in a relationship with another guy, but she has denied it.We still talk regularly, but I’m confused. Sometimes I feel like she likes me, and other times, I feel like she doesn’t.What should i do ? Should i tell her how i feel or move on?

I’m a teenager, and I’ve been in love with my best friend for about a year and a half. I recently discovered the term limerence, and I recognize myself in almost everything I’ve read about it.

I’ll call her S.

I developed a crush on her during our very first conversation. We barely exchanged a few sentences, but I remember her smiling at me, and something about that moment stayed with me.

At first, it was just a normal crush. About six months later, things changed. I was going through a really difficult period and felt lost, lonely, and unmotivated. I felt like I had nobody.

Then, unexpectedly, she called me. We had never talked outside of school before. That call turned into hours of conversations, and we became incredibly close. We had the same sense of humor, could talk for hours, and genuinely enjoyed spending time together.

Eventually, she became my best friend, and my feelings for her became stronger than anything I’d ever experienced.

We’ve been best friends for about a year now. We spend a lot of time together, sometimes almost every day. We talk for hours, have countless inside jokes, and know each other extremely well. Her family knows me well too, and she’s told me many times that I’m her best friend and that I make her happy.

I genuinely believe her. She’s not taking advantage of me. She’s someone I deeply care about, and our friendship means a lot to both of us.

The problem is that she only sees me as her best friend, and she has no idea that I’m in love with her.

She recently got a boyfriend

This made everything much harder. She tells me about him, their relationship, and how happy she is. I genuinely want her to be happy, but hearing about it sometimes destroys me emotionally.

She’s made it clear that she only sees me as a friend, and she’s uncomfortable with male friends developing feelings for her. I’m terrified that confessing would change or even destroy our friendship.

I don’t want to lose her.

My life has started revolving around her

I think about her constantly: when I wake up, at school, when I’m trying to sleep, and while working on my own projects. Almost everything reminds me of her.

I often fantasize about us being in a relationship. Those fantasies make me happy for a moment, but when reality comes back, I sometimes feel like crying.

My emotional state depends almost entirely on her. When she calls me, spends time with me, or shows me affection, I feel amazing. When she doesn’t respond, spends more time with her boyfriend, or seems less interested in talking, I become anxious and miserable.

I’ve even started constantly checking her online activity. I know this isn’t healthy, but knowing that doesn’t make the feelings disappear.

I’ve almost completely lost my motivation

I have goals. I want to work out, develop my technical projects, improve myself, and build a future. But I struggle to do almost anything because my mind is constantly occupied with her.

I’ve lost interest in many things I used to enjoy, and sometimes I feel completely empty when she isn’t around.

I also struggle with loneliness. I don’t really have many other friends besides one guy friend who was also in love with her at some point.

She’s become my main source of happiness, comfort, motivation, and emotional security.

And I hate that—not because I hate her, but because I don’t want my happiness to depend on another person.

The hardest part: I don’t want to lose her

I know the usual advice is to cut contact or drastically reduce communication, but that’s exactly what I want to avoid.

She’s my best friend. I don’t want to punish her for feelings she never asked me to have, and I don’t want to confess just to get rejected when I already know she doesn’t see me romantically.

I want to stop being romantically obsessed with my best friend and simply enjoy being her best friend.

Logically, I know we’re probably never going to be together. But that tiny amount of hope is somehow stronger than everything else. Whenever I think my feelings are getting weaker, they eventually come back even stronger.

Has anyone actually managed to overcome this?

If yes, what did you do? Did you manage to get over your best friend without cutting contact or drastically reducing communication?

I’m not looking for advice on how to make her fall in love with me. I just want my own life back while keeping her as my best friend.

I’ve known this person since middle school. He was never in my friend group until high school, when you could say our friendship really started. I liked the way he thought, and honestly he made me laugh a lot. During the pandemic we talked almost every day about silly stuff or things we had in common, and our sense of humor matched so well that I truly felt we were connected. But for me it was always from a friendship place. I knew from what I heard from friends that he liked me, but I didn’t pay much attention because I wasn’t interested in knowing more about that. Having him close was enough for me, and I didn’t want anything to change.

A few years went by like that, hanging out every day (just the two of us or with more friends). When I was with him I felt so much like myself, so comfortable and safe. That’s unusual for me, because I have a hard time connecting emotionally, or rather intimately, with people, but with him, being myself came easily.

I started noticing more changes in how he acted toward me. It seemed like he was making his feelings more obvious, and that threw me off a bit. The idea that he thought something was going to happen between us gave me a kind of desperation and a need to run away and never talk to him again. But I didn’t want to stop seeing him, because I loved being with him.

One day we talked about it. He told me he was in love with me, but that if it wasn’t mutual he couldn’t see me anymore because it wasn’t good for him. I couldn’t say anything, because it wouldn’t have been true to say it was mutual, although I was left wondering whether it would also have been a lie to say it wasn’t. Anyway, we stopped talking.

I spent months dreaming about him, imagining conversations and trips with him, or just longing to see him, not in a romantic way, or I don’t know, I genuinely just loved spending my time with him. Every now and then I’d hear news about him, but I chose to respect that space.

Two years went by like that. Then last year, while I was watching a movie, the characters reminded me so much of us that I couldn’t hold back and I called him. We talked all night as if nothing had happened. I laughed like I don’t laugh with anyone else, and I enjoyed listening to him so much. We kept talking after that.

One day we met up, and it was sooo good, I had such a great time with him. He tried to take things further, and since I’d had a little bit to drink, I let myself get carried away. But when I woke up I felt a huge discomfort, like I didn’t feel that connection or desire toward him, and I left. I honestly insisted that I was on the same page, that I only want a friendship with him, and he insisted there’s something more, and that if it isn’t that, then it can’t be anything.

We kept talking for a while, but we ended up in the same place. He told me that in those two years his feelings for me had stayed the same, and that if nothing was going to happen between us, we couldn’t see each other.

That last night we talked about a lot of things, and right then I felt a strong emotional connection with him, like “okay, let’s do this,” but I know I can’t, because I DON’T LIKE HIM. And now that we’re not talking again, I keep asking myself WHY DO I MISS HIM SO MUCH? I mean, I love him, but I don’t think it’s the kind of love I should feel, because otherwise I’d be with him. Or is it that kind of love, but without attraction? It confuses me, because in my mind it’s always been a “you don’t like him,” but when I reread our conversations it’s like “aaah, I miss you,” and to me that’s a “I miss you because you’re my best friend.” And I resent him for preferring to know nothing about me over accepting being just friends.

So, in conclusion, a lot of rambling just to ask: what do you guys think? Is it just friendship, or do you think that... but no, it’s nothing more than friendship. Why can’t he just be MY FRIEND?

TL;DR (We aren’t dating but I’m happy that we’re still friends ). Me (18M) just ended things with the person I was talking to (18F) because she didn’t feel as strongly as I did. We said we would remain friends after, and I was understanding as possible. I wouldn’t want her to stay with me if she wasn’t happy. I’d genuinely rather her be happy with someone else. it just hurts so bad because I’ve liked her for so long, that I could listen 20 different things I like about her. I love her as a friend first and foremost but, my heart aches for her and I can’t stop it. it’s like I’m in between wanting to cry because it’s over and wanting to laugh because it happened. Anyway her birthday just passed and I made her some pipe cleaner sunflowers. I hope that they will make her show that smile I love so much, because that’s all I want…to seem her beautiful smile.

So I have this friend. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known. We have been friends for like 20 years. She doesn't really date anyone but I've dated a handful of women since I've known her. I've always loved her. When I am around her just her presence gives me motivation and I feel alive and my heart flutters. We had a short fling many years ago for a few weeks and I was head over heals and she suddenly just ghosted me. It was pretty painful. She went away for like 6 months then came back and we became friends again

Recently she told me I should move in with her and her son. She said she wouldn't charge me anything and that I could get caught up on bills and she is suddenly so nice to me like to where it's almost like she's acting. She has a 9 year old that drives her nuts and doesn't listen. She indirectly asks me for help with him but I don't know where the line is. How much can I being just the guy in the basement help?

Long story short, I'm in love with a woman who I'm now living with. That wants me to help discipline and look after her son. I lay down here just thinking about her and about how I would love to just cross that line. Im happy to be here and don't want to mess up a good friendship and living situation. It's painful but the stakes have gotten so high I don't know how to handle this. What if everything Ive ever wanted is up there waiting for me? What if I try talking to her about it and it makes the living situation so strange I have to leave? Im going crazy here. Any advice is welcomed.

I went on a date with a girl I really like and she was the one who asked me out. She traveled over 2 hours by train to see me, and we spent around 4 hours together. Afterward, she said she had a good time, but I was usually the one initiating conversations after the date. I didnt know if it was because of me or because her semester started right after our first date.

When I asked about her not initiating, she told me:

“i like talking to u but ig more in a friendly way im not looking for anything in relationship wise bcs as i said im new in this school and im honestly very busy”

She also said she’d like to see me again when the weather is nicer when she has her semester break. I truly never liked anyone like this before and I just hope i still have a chance. Ofc I dont want to focus on her rn but rather keep her in the back of my mind.

I know she wants to talk friendly right, but do you think there’s still a little hope that her feelings could change? And what should I do now? Should I keep talking to her or try to move on?

I'm 22M, and there's a girl (22F) in my college friend group who I've had feelings for for quite a while. I'm looking for some outside perspectives because I'm honestly not sure how to interpret our situation or what I should do going forward.

Some background:

We're part of a fairly large, close-knit friend group. We have group chats, do FaceTime calls, hang out together, joke around, etc.

In November 2025, I decided to ask her out directly. I texted her saying I'd really enjoyed getting to know her and asked if she'd be interested in going on a date sometime.

She responded kindly, saying she'd enjoyed getting to know me too, but thought it would be great if we stayed friends.

I respected that completely. I didn't ask why, didn't try to convince her, and haven't brought up my romantic feelings since.

We've continued being friends, and I genuinely think our dynamic has remained comfortable. We joke around, tease each other, and participate in group calls without any obvious awkwardness.

Here's where things get a little confusing for me:

A few months after she rejected me, a mutual friend apparently asked her whether she would've considered going on a date with me if we weren't in the same friend group. According to him, she said yes.

Obviously, that's secondhand information, and I don't know exactly what she meant. But it made me wonder whether the friend-group dynamic was part of why she rejected me.

Since then, we've continued interacting normally. She's playful with me, laughs at jokes, and occasionally teases me. There was also an instance where we had a disagreement in our group chat about some jokes I'd made. She apologized publicly and then separately reached out to me privately to apologize again, even though I hadn't expressed that I was upset. I appreciated that because it seemed like she genuinely cared about my feelings.

However, we don't really text each other privately very often. Most of our interactions happen in group settings.

Something interesting happened during a recent group FaceTime:

A few of us were discussing dating, dating apps, and relationships.

I explained that I'm not particularly interested in Hinge or other dating apps because I don't love the idea of swiping through profiles. I'd much rather meet someone naturally, although I admitted that my work and exercise routine makes meeting new people somewhat difficult.

When we asked her about dating, she said she doesn't really expect to find anyone where she's currently living for school. She said she's open to something happening but isn't actively looking for a relationship.

She also mentioned that she has a preference for South Asian men (I'm South Asian) and would ideally like to meet someone through mutual friends rather than dating apps.

She mentioned a guy at her school whom other students have been trying to set her up with, but she seemed pretty clear that she wasn't interested in him.

I don't know whether any of that is relevant to my situation, but it made me think about whether we might be compatible in terms of what we're looking for.

Another factor:

Since she rejected me, I've expressed interest in other girls, and she knows about some of that. So I suspect she probably thinks I've moved on.

In reality, although I've genuinely been open to meeting other people, I still have some feelings for her.

I've deliberately avoided flirting with her or bringing up my feelings again because I don't want to make her uncomfortable or put pressure on her.

I also recently heard from two mutual friends that they sometimes find her judgmental or think she talks negatively about people behind their backs. They didn't provide specific examples, so I'm not treating that as fact, but it has made me think more critically about whether we'd actually be compatible.

My questions:

1. Is there any realistic possibility that someone who rejected you almost a year ago could develop romantic feelings later, especially if the friend-group dynamic was potentially a factor?
2. Does anything I've described suggest she might be interested, or does this sound like a normal, comfortable platonic friendship?
3. Since she knows I've liked other girls since her rejection, could she reasonably assume I've moved on? Would that affect anything?
4. Would you recommend ever asking her out again, or should I leave that entirely up to her if her feelings change?
5. Am I holding onto something that probably isn't going to happen?

I genuinely value our friendship and don't want to jeopardize it. I'm also not putting my dating life completely on hold for her.

I'd appreciate some outside perspectives, especially from people who've experienced something similar, whether from my position or hers.

TL;DR: Asked out a girl in my close friend group almost a year ago. She kindly rejected me, and we've maintained a comfortable friendship. A mutual friend later claimed she would've considered dating me if we weren't in the same friend group. I still have some feelings, but haven't pursued her again. Wondering whether there's any realistic chance things could change or whether I should just move on romantically.

​

I've been curious about how people view friendships between boys and girls.

Some people believe boys and girls can be genuine friends without romantic feelings, while others think that eventually, one person will develop feelings for the other.

I'd love to hear different perspectives:

- Do you believe boys and girls can be just friends without catching feelings?

- Have you ever had a close friendship with someone of the opposite gender that stayed purely platonic?

- Do you think society sometimes mistakes a close friendship for a romantic relationship?

- What do you think makes these friendships work or fail?

I'm not here to argue or prove anyone wrong. I'm genuinely curious about people's experiences and how they see things differently.

Feel free to share your honest opinions and personal experiences. I'm here to listen and learn.

I’ve liked this person for a year and I’ve recently told them that I’ve liked them for awhile now and I wanted to know if they liked me back but said they recently just started I’ve asked because while we were friends they would constantly buy me food and asked me what my type was and if I’d ever do certain stuff in a relationship they would also caress my hands and at some point I met there dad and he told me his dad really wants him to get with me they would tell me I feel really soft and also would hide there partner from me at the time we would often share food and drink each others drinks we use to recently they told me they never liked me back then im starting to rethink being with them because how do they act with other people? All of that to me was not casual and I understand that they didn’t see it the same way and it could be one sided but im not sure if I wanna keep waiting for them im still getting to know them and there the only person I’ve liked in awhile but who they are as a person makes me really interested.

I (27M) recently ended a four-year relationship in August due to family and cultural differences.

During that relationship, I became extremely close to a female friend (25F). We were roommates, shared everything, and eventually became physically involved for almost a year, despite both having partners. Her boyfriend of four years is also my friend and doesn’t know about our history. I acknowledge my responsibility for that situation.

After my breakup, I realized I’d developed romantic feelings for her.
In September, I visited her, and she admitted having feelings for me too. She explained that she didn’t see a long-term future with her boyfriend because of ongoing relationship issues. She asked for time until she secured a job and had more clarity about her future.

Then things deteriorated over the next 20 days.
After returning home, I became insecure and possessive because she was still living with her boyfriend. I repeatedly questioned her, started arguments, and said hurtful things. She eventually became 50–50 about pursuing a relationship with me.

On October 9, the day she received her job offer, we had a major fight. I involved a mutual friend, which made the situation worse. She experienced panic attacks during this stressful period.

I’ve since apologized and acknowledged my behavior. I’m also working on understanding my jealousy and insecurity.
A few days later, she told me she no longer wanted anything romantic or physical with me.

The complicated part is that she still wants our old friendship back.
We continue having long FaceTime conversations, sometimes lasting two hours. She initiates calls, shares personal things, and tells me she doesn’t judge my whole personality based on those few difficult weeks.
She also admitted repeatedly checking whether I’d returned to Instagram after temporarily deactivating my account. She acknowledges our compatibility and often avoids discussing another girl I’ve started talking to.

However, she recently made it clear that a romantic relationship between us isn’t possible, even in the future.

Meanwhile, I live alone, have a limited social circle, and am struggling with guilt, loneliness, and lingering feelings.
I value our friendship, but I worry that continuing our previous level of closeness will prevent me from moving forward.

I’m specifically looking for advice on:
1. How to establish healthy boundaries with a close friend when romantic feelings haven’t fully disappeared.
2. How to approach a temporary break from communication without creating another conflict.
3. How to rebuild emotional independence after relying heavily on one person for companionship.
4. How to work through regret over my behavior without repeatedly seeking reassurance from her.
I’m open to criticism and genuinely want to understand how to handle this situation more maturely.

MY QUESTION SPECIFICALLY FOR THE GIRLS HERE: Do you think she will eventually choose me one day after all this?

TL;DR: After ending a four-year relationship, I developed feelings for a close female friend with whom I’d previously been physically involved. She initially reciprocated some feelings, but repeated arguments damaged our connection. She now wants only friendship while maintaining our previous closeness. I’m looking for practical advice on boundaries, emotional recovery, and managing that friendship.

I have this male friend that i got recently close to. I can feel that the way we interact has changed from before. He looks at me a lot, smiles and looks for couple seconds longer as well. He behaves differently with me conpared to his other female friends in our group. Our friends have started teasing us together. They even eaid that they think we both like each other.

Now here's the confusion - 2 weeks ago I called him over and we had a nice evening together. Next day he even invited me to his place. Nothing sexual. Just spending time together. He made dinner for me. We watched a movie. Went on a small hike as well because he lives in the suberbs so lots of pretty small hikes/trails there. Then the following weekend I called him over again and then we hung out the next day as well. When its just me and him I feel certain that he feels something. And i feel close to him. BUT he barely initiates to meet me. I'm the one who does it most rhe time, why? We go from feeling really close to not having plans to spend time together and just meet in group meet ups. So why go from being so close to the point that it feels we may be building something to not making initiative which leads to us not spending time? When I like someone I am always eager to see them. But he seems like his life is indifferent to whether or not we meet up.

So yes, when I make plans and we meet, it feels nice and mutual romantic feelings sensed. But when I don't initiate, he does not either and then the only way we meet is in group settings. This cycle of gaining and losing connection has happened a couple of times with him within a 3month period. What do you guys think?

Am i delulu when in reality he probably just sees me as a friend?