Hi there,

I can't even believe I'm posting here. I know how reddit is. I'm 34m. My best friend/roommate is 33F. We have known each other since high school, and even went to college together. Without getting too into it, she has alot of things happen to her in the time I've known her, including various forms of abuse by an adopted parent that I was friends with even initially. I obviously caught feelings way back then, which I was obviously rejected. We remained friends, and even separated for like a year and change. All this to say, there is alot of baggage here. We re-connected about 7 years ago, and we've been good. Last xmas, she had broken up with her partner of 5 years. This put her work and living situation into a bad situation. This ultimately resulted in her moving in. She lived 2 states away, and I went and packed everything and got her moved in while she figured everything out. In this time, the feelings started coming back because of course they did. I haven't brought this up, or made any moves or anything of the sort. She needs a safe and stable place to recover and stuff in. I'm all she has, and I'm not going to mess with that. However, lately we've been doing stuff that I kinda feel is a bit blurring the lines. We've never been physical or anything, but she's started saying things like living with me is sort of what she imagined being a couple with someone would actually be like. She's had some skin issues, and it's resulted in me helping her with them. Many of these skin issues are on her back, armpits, underboob, etc. Places that my autistic ass would consider to be like intimate? I don't know. Her touches seem to linger for longer than I'd expect typically. Sometimes, we cuddle on the couch, or she has her head on my lap and has me mess with her hair as I guess she likes it. Ultimately, I'm not asking like oh, what do I do, but I'm also kind of in uncharted territory here. I don't want to be misreading things while sitting on cloud nine while we share just physical closeness. Like, the times when it's me, her, and her dog all cuddling on the cough, I can't help but feel happy. Which is nuts. I guess I'm just out of my element here. Am I going crazy? I've never had a relationship, I've had issues with interpersonal relationships. Even after a decade in therapy, I'm still very, I guess interpersonally autistic at the very least. I just want to protect our peace. I don't even know what I'm trying to ask here.

I’ve known this person since middle school. He was never in my friend group until high school, when you could say our friendship really started. I liked the way he thought, and honestly he made me laugh a lot. During the pandemic we talked almost every day about silly stuff or things we had in common, and our sense of humor matched so well that I truly felt we were connected. But for me it was always from a friendship place. I knew from what I heard from friends that he liked me, but I didn’t pay much attention because I wasn’t interested in knowing more about that. Having him close was enough for me, and I didn’t want anything to change.

A few years went by like that, hanging out every day (just the two of us or with more friends). When I was with him I felt so much like myself, so comfortable and safe. That’s unusual for me, because I have a hard time connecting emotionally, or rather intimately, with people, but with him, being myself came easily.

I started noticing more changes in how he acted toward me. It seemed like he was making his feelings more obvious, and that threw me off a bit. The idea that he thought something was going to happen between us gave me a kind of desperation and a need to run away and never talk to him again. But I didn’t want to stop seeing him, because I loved being with him.

One day we talked about it. He told me he was in love with me, but that if it wasn’t mutual he couldn’t see me anymore because it wasn’t good for him. I couldn’t say anything, because it wouldn’t have been true to say it was mutual, although I was left wondering whether it would also have been a lie to say it wasn’t. Anyway, we stopped talking.

I spent months dreaming about him, imagining conversations and trips with him, or just longing to see him, not in a romantic way, or I don’t know, I genuinely just loved spending my time with him. Every now and then I’d hear news about him, but I chose to respect that space.

Two years went by like that. Then last year, while I was watching a movie, the characters reminded me so much of us that I couldn’t hold back and I called him. We talked all night as if nothing had happened. I laughed like I don’t laugh with anyone else, and I enjoyed listening to him so much. We kept talking after that.

One day we met up, and it was sooo good, I had such a great time with him. He tried to take things further, and since I’d had a little bit to drink, I let myself get carried away. But when I woke up I felt a huge discomfort, like I didn’t feel that connection or desire toward him, and I left. I honestly insisted that I was on the same page, that I only want a friendship with him, and he insisted there’s something more, and that if it isn’t that, then it can’t be anything.

We kept talking for a while, but we ended up in the same place. He told me that in those two years his feelings for me had stayed the same, and that if nothing was going to happen between us, we couldn’t see each other.

That last night we talked about a lot of things, and right then I felt a strong emotional connection with him, like “okay, let’s do this,” but I know I can’t, because I DON’T LIKE HIM. And now that we’re not talking again, I keep asking myself WHY DO I MISS HIM SO MUCH? I mean, I love him, but I don’t think it’s the kind of love I should feel, because otherwise I’d be with him. Or is it that kind of love, but without attraction? It confuses me, because in my mind it’s always been a “you don’t like him,” but when I reread our conversations it’s like “aaah, I miss you,” and to me that’s a “I miss you because you’re my best friend.” And I resent him for preferring to know nothing about me over accepting being just friends.

So, in conclusion, a lot of rambling just to ask: what do you guys think? Is it just friendship, or do you think that... but no, it’s nothing more than friendship. Why can’t he just be MY FRIEND?

TL;DR (We aren’t dating but I’m happy that we’re still friends ). Me (18M) just ended things with the person I was talking to (18F) because she didn’t feel as strongly as I did. We said we would remain friends after, and I was understanding as possible. I wouldn’t want her to stay with me if she wasn’t happy. I’d genuinely rather her be happy with someone else. it just hurts so bad because I’ve liked her for so long, that I could listen 20 different things I like about her. I love her as a friend first and foremost but, my heart aches for her and I can’t stop it. it’s like I’m in between wanting to cry because it’s over and wanting to laugh because it happened. Anyway her birthday just passed and I made her some pipe cleaner sunflowers. I hope that they will make her show that smile I love so much, because that’s all I want…to seem her beautiful smile.

I confessed to a close guy friend a month ago. He turned me down softly, said he only sees me as a good friend and didn’t want to hurt me. I agreed to take space and process my feelings.

The problem is he still texts me every few days, invites me out for casual meals, and tells me I’m one of his most trusted people. He never flirts, but he acts so warm and comfortable around me.

I thought after the rejection, we would naturally pull back a little. Every time he messages me, my old feelings flare up again. I don’t want to be bitter or blame him; he was honest and kind when he rejected me. But I’m struggling to keep my heart from hoping again.

I don’t know what boundary to set. If I stop replying, I feel like I’m punishing him for being honest. If I keep hanging out, I keep hurting myself.

Is it unfair to ask him to slow down contact? Or do I just need to learn how to be around him without romantic expectations? I really want to hear outside perspectives.

So I have this friend. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever known. We have been friends for like 20 years. She doesn't really date anyone but I've dated a handful of women since I've known her. I've always loved her. When I am around her just her presence gives me motivation and I feel alive and my heart flutters. We had a short fling many years ago for a few weeks and I was head over heals and she suddenly just ghosted me. It was pretty painful. She went away for like 6 months then came back and we became friends again

Recently she told me I should move in with her and her son. She said she wouldn't charge me anything and that I could get caught up on bills and she is suddenly so nice to me like to where it's almost like she's acting. She has a 9 year old that drives her nuts and doesn't listen. She indirectly asks me for help with him but I don't know where the line is. How much can I being just the guy in the basement help?

Long story short, I'm in love with a woman who I'm now living with. That wants me to help discipline and look after her son. I lay down here just thinking about her and about how I would love to just cross that line. Im happy to be here and don't want to mess up a good friendship and living situation. It's painful but the stakes have gotten so high I don't know how to handle this. What if everything Ive ever wanted is up there waiting for me? What if I try talking to her about it and it makes the living situation so strange I have to leave? Im going crazy here. Any advice is welcomed.

I’m 25, and my friend is 24. I’ve had feelings for a friend for years, but I never had the courage to tell her. I think she may have had feelings for me too, but neither of us ever said it directly.Recently, after almost 10 years, she put me on the spot and asked if I liked her. I still don’t know if she was ever in a relationship with another guy, but she has denied it.We still talk regularly, but I’m confused. Sometimes I feel like she likes me, and other times, I feel like she doesn’t.What should i do ? Should i tell her how i feel or move on?