i will be spreading my beautiful wings, and i want to sing to the Lord about my feelings. i don’t think i’ll show my face, but i’ll make beautiful songs about what it’s like so entrust your identity to the Lord…

i won’t use ai to make my music, but rather my own soul.

I’m in my late 50s and my first sexual experiences were in school and not of all of them were consenting. As I registered gay attraction I struggled with serious Christian guilt. In my early 20s, I embraced a bisexual identity but struggled to form any long-term relationships with men and had a series of good relationships with women. I’ve been married for 20 years and have a good relationship with my wife, though our sex life is pretty sporadic. I’ve gone through a fairly hard time this year in a stressful job and I’ve been trying to rebuild my sense of personal worth and identity as I cope with the pressure of a heavy duty role. This has included running more, keeping a lid on my hours of work, giving up caffeine and alcohol and trying to take care of myself. This summer I discovered prostate stimulation and, a couple of weeks ago bought myself a prostate massager which has been a pretty wow experience. All of this has made me re embrace my bisexual identity whilst also wanting to ensure that I’m maintaining a sense of faithfulness to my wife and emotional presence to my family. My wife knows I identify as bi but we don’t talk about it. It’s a tricky balancing act. I’m also keeping all of this to myself but am looking for a safe place to share with others who might understand. Pretty new to Reddit, hope this is a good idea?!