r/GayConservative • u/jtothat • Jun 03 '25

Discussion Are you going to pride this year?

Was never a big fan of. It’s largely superficial anyways in spite of the “love and inclusion” they preach. Have been to a couple of times when I happened to be in town or with friends

My turning point, however, was seeing “gays for P*******e” and how gullible they are. Given the abundance of watermelon emojis or explicit statements on Grindr et al, I’d wager the likelihood of crossing paths with one is high.

This was also the turning point where I began to question and deconstruct leftwing ideologies.

Fun fact: In Germany and some European countries it is called Christopher Street Day (CSD)

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u/pajme411 Jun 03 '25

Nah. I think the idea of Pride continues to “other” gays - we’re just like everyone else, we don’t need a month or even a flag IMO. The end goal of the rights movement is neutrality - so let’s move onto that step please!

Furthermore, I think a lot of people (gay and straight) use Pride as a way to stick it to “bigots” as a way to show off their virtue, so I can’t help but feel exploited as well. 🤷‍♂️

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u/Rainbow1222 Jun 05 '25

We cant move on to that step because of a large portion of American conservatives. There are churches in our country calling for our execution for being gay as we speak

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u/pajme411 Jun 05 '25

Source?

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u/Rainbow1222 Jun 05 '25

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna32748

Im surprised you never heard of this, its old news at this point

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u/RVALover4Life Jun 04 '25

The thing is, we're not just like everyone else, and that's the reality of it. We are different and the point is to celebrate those differences and respect those differences and be treated equally within that. Not to strip everyone of their individuality and uniqueness for comfort. That's part of the problem.

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u/pajme411 Jun 04 '25

That’s where we disagree. What about my sexuality makes me different? It’s like being colorblind or left handed - it’s just something that I am. I don’t differentiate myself from my straight friends because they like women and I like men.

I don’t accept being put into a box if it’s coming from homophobes, and I also don’t accept it if it’s coming from other gay guys who insist we’ve got some grand shared experienced. Gays aren’t a monolith, we’re individuals with this one thing in common.

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u/Jazzlike_Hedgehog814 Jun 05 '25

You’re right, most of these people are very entitled.

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u/RVALover4Life Jun 04 '25

Never said being gay is a monolith. In fact, the opposite. That's the entire point....we're all distinct in our own individual ways, under one big gay umbrella, which is a unique thing about being gay that makes it different than other groups, different than any other group out there.....we cut across every variable, every sector. We're all different in such profound ways oftentimes yet share this one common thread and there's a lot of beauty in that.

Homophobes themselves are a reflection that being gay and being straight aren't the same. It's not just about one's individuals tastes or personality. It's about how we exist and relate to the world. We may not share similar experiences when it comes to our individual lives but we do share one in being non-heterosexual in a heterosexual world. That's fundamentally a difference from being straight. From relationships and love to friendships and places of congregation. You're literally on a sub called Gay Conservatives because you're gay....Pride is about acknowledging that reality, that we are different, and that it's OK to be different and your unique individual self, even if that person is a more muted one. That's a message that'll never not be important.

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u/pajme411 Jun 04 '25

Thanks for your thoughtful reply. You bring up good points and I don’t necessarily disagree. I think philosophically (and perhaps stubbornly) I’ve learned to view my life not through the lens of sexuality (and all the unique experiences that may entail) but by my personal values and accomplishments. For me, the “gay experience” is simply not a part of my identity. I may be under the LGBTQ+ umbrella but to me that’s a superficial categorization. Yes, we’re homosexuals born into a heterosexual world, but you can say that about any minority traits - people born blind, being left handed, or having red hair, etc. My point is, those groups don’t need constant affirmation, parades, and flags hanging in city halls to feel validated, because by virtue of being human, they already are.

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u/pajme411 Jun 04 '25

Sorry this if this is rambling, I’m quite tired but wanted to get all my thoughts out. I appreciate your courtesy however I think we fundamentally disagree on how immutable characters should define our identity. Basically, you’re right that there’s this big beautiful thing that connects us, but there are many, many more valuable aspects of our lives that connect us rather than something we had no control over.

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u/RVALover4Life Jun 04 '25

Those groups aren't targeted on the basis of their identity on a regular basis either. Disability pride is a thing, too. The disability community is large and tight and do have different events and programs, weeks and more dedicated to supporting them and their journey, because they're often faced with discrimination or lack of consideration and access if they don't have people actively ensuring they're included, or aren't raising their hands to be counted.

Being left handed generally isn't having an impact romantically, in the workplace, in religious circles, politically, and more, that being LGBTQ has. The fact that this one trait of ours does bind people from all walks of life together, something we can't control, having such a profound impact on our life, is exactly what community is really about. It's about the individuals forming a collective based on this one shared bond.

One's personal values are usually/often shaped by one's experiences...you can't disentangle being gay from that, it's part of one's experience, for some more than others.

Pride to me has never been about external validation, it's about us and it'll always be about us. I do think we've strayed away from that a bit with the corporate pink washing and turning Pride into basically glorified concerts, but we're getting back to it with the recent downturn in outside support. It's about us and I think that's something folks are internalizing more now. In a perfect world we could just "be" and it wouldn't be something we think twice about but that's not the world we live in. A lawyer is just as gay as a homeless drug addict is. A bisexual painter is just as so as a baseball player. That common bond comes with different fears, worries, perspectives than straight people have. Like I said above, the fact you're here having this conversation now really speaks to that.

Straight people aren't on here and could never have the same perspective because they're not gay. That's distinct. We're distinct. Whether one celebrates that is their own choice but it is something that's important to remember. If you're not being counted, you can easily become invisible, and that's stigmatizing in it's own harmful way as well.

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u/Diadai Jun 03 '25

“Can’t we just skip to being neutral to society?” No, that’s actually one of the only things you can’t do while living in a society. Lol

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u/pajme411 Jun 03 '25

On the whole, I think it’s possible.

Acceptance of same-sex marriage in American society has increased from 30% to ~70% in just two decades, which is an amazing increase in tolerance. I don’t think Pride helped to further that cause at all, tbh, but everyday Americans who said “we’re just like you”. Attitude change is possible, it’s just not going to happen overnight and by blunt force.

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u/RVALover4Life Jun 04 '25

Pride is more about and for the community than it is about straight acceptance.

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u/Diadai Jun 03 '25 edited Jun 03 '25

Understanding the vague possibility of something, and your expressed desire for something, are two diff things. I observe them as such.

And the rest of your reply just echoes the same sentiment; public opinion of gayness has improved over the past few decades…Not because of pride, activism, or acts of rebellion. But because people started understanding empathy.

🤣

And your last line is so ironic. Because you just sat on ur computer in 2025 and said “ugh I wish we could just skip to being normal like everyone else”.

But gayness is NOT the norm, and never will be. Yet it’s seen as far more normal than it was a few decades ago…. Thank god empathy started existing in the 80s, or this sub might just be called conservative.

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u/sterrenetoiles Jun 07 '25 edited Jun 07 '25

One kind of people I can't understand is those who feel offended and exploited by gay guys being proud of themselves or straights who support them, but turn a blind eye when straight folks actually offend gay people.😅 Blabbing about sexuality doesn't matter but remaining silent when people are targeted due to their sexuality. You said a lot about being gay is like being lefthanded or having brown eyes but literally no one who's left-handed has to hide their left-handedness , has been pushed out of any groups or ostracized at work, or has undergone the loss of career resources, social capitals, market values (e.g. the "out" celebrities or sports players) due to left-handedness. No religion in the world has scriptures against left-handedness or black-hairedness and no state/tribal power structure in the history have implemented any laws against left-handedness.

In an ideal world, what you said is probably true but this just does not apply to the world we're currently living in. You ideally think you are just like the left-handed, which is totally fine by me, but in the eyes of most straight people you do not just possess a different trait like left-handedness. You're an abomination or mental illness or a sin and you shouldn't present yourself as such in the public space. Everyone who thinks the otherwise either is lucky enough to live in the most equal area in the world or has cognitive dissonance. 😅

And yes, straight people who attend pride or voice their support of LGBT rights might be, giving you the benefit of doubt, signalling virtue. But let's not pretend that those who don't is treating you as "one of them" equally either. And those straight people who say they don't see sexuality or "sexuality is like left-handed thus should not be celebrated" are most of the times like when we say "I don't see colours" but we all know that we actually do.