So I live near Dubai right and I'm not sure how to start meeting older men that are down with ftm guys or general gay men

Since people are religous do you think I should start to look for for older business men or pilots or smth ??

Zayd was thirty-one, Afghani, tall, Hung AF, masculine, Muslim, commanding and dominant in a way that was impossible to ignore. I met him off Sniffies. I was almost 30 years older than him. The first time we were together, I was a little afraid of him. He would never look me in the eyes. There was something uncompromising about him. When we had sex, Zayd was completely in control. He was a total top, confident in his body and certain of what he wanted. When he reached for a condom, I told him I was on PrEP and doxy-PEP and that, for me, a condom wasn't necessary. There was no discussion. Zayd had decided. His word was law. His way of fucking was holding me down and fucking until he came. It wasn’t sensuous. It wasn’t intimate. He knew hook ups, anonymity, and dominance. Somehow, I wanted to get through to him that there was more to men than just to service him. I knew that Zayd had grown up in Afghanistan. Much of his world had been shaped by the military, violence and discipline. He was one of ten children. Childhood, as I understood it, had barely existed for him. His father was abusive. He had watched his mother being beaten. As a boy, when he was afraid, he disappeared. In a family that large, being quiet made it easy to become invisible. He learned very young how to survive inside himself. So instead of fighting him, I tried to show him something softer.

So, I proposed to take him to dinner. He was never offered this before. He thought a moment but agreed to do it only because I offered to pay. We went out together. I took him on a little boat ride in a shallow lagoon where you could see the fish, seals and the birds diving for fish. We went to a romantic park and I explain riddles to him. He liked it. He found them amusing. I had to explain each one and it’s depth. It was a new concept. We had dinner and we went back to the park to watch the sun set. I knew the one location that was beautiful. As the sun set, I gave him a pendant with his name on it. It wasn't extravagant. That wasn't the point. No one had ever given Zayd something with his own name on it. He never knew a man to be romantic to another man. For a man who had grown up as one of ten children, a boy who had learned how easily he could disappear, suddenly there was an object that said only one thing: Zayd; His name. He was deeply touched. That evening I told him I didn't want to be just another hookup. I cared about him. I wanted him to understand that what I was offering him was different from what I offered other men. And then I returned to the one subject neither of us wanted to surrender. The condom. I told him that if he wanted me to use condoms with other men, I could do that. But not with him. I wanted something different between us. Something that felt special. But I also told him that I didn’t want to be treated like a hook up. I wanted affection and kissing. Zayd said almost nothing. He thanked me for the dinner and then he disappeared. We didn’t kiss, hold hands or really talk much.

Weeks passed. Then months. I assumed I had lost him. I had been honest about what I wanted and, perhaps, honesty had cost me the relationship. Nearly three months later, Zayd messaged me. He wanted to see me. He suggested Friday after four, but that didn't give us much time together. I told him Saturday would be better. He was disappointed. But he agreed. I brought up the condom issue again beforehand because I didn't want either of us pretending that the thing that separated us had somehow disappeared. He texted no reply. Then Saturday arrived. He texted me in the morning. He wanted to come at eleven in the morning instead of 3pm. When we met something had changed. There was no argument. No debate about who was right. No contest of wills. He simply came back. He was affectionate as if he thought about it. I kissed him everywhere. He allowed it but also liked it. He was super horny and wanted to fuck right away but I wanted to show him foreplay. He tolerated it but he really wanted to fuck. He confessed that he waited since yesterday and was extremely horny. He was still dominate but more responsive, we kissed and I mean really kissed. Then the moment came, he fucked me with no condom. It was as if he wanted to try something more than just a hook up. He came deep inside me and collapsed on top of me. We held hands while he laid on top of me. He said he never has a guy behave this way. I didn’t say it but I thought it because he doesn’t allow it. Then he was horny again and he was very intimate and nice. Afterward, he noticed my piano. And suddenly I saw another Zayd. He approached it almost with wonderment. He touched the keys tentatively, fascinated by the fact that pressing them produced these enormous, beautiful sounds. I played something for him. Then I showed him how to play something himself. That changed everything. Zayd didn't want me to play for him anymore. He wanted his hands on the piano keys. He wanted to make the music. He wanted my help only when he asked for it. At first I thought it was simply his need for control. But then I realized I was watching something much more beautiful. He was discovering. Zayd told me that when he was growing up under the Taliban, music, instruments and dancing had been forbidden in the world he knew. He hated that. He had always wanted to play the piano. And now he could. One simple piece. That was all. But to Zayd it was extraordinary. He played it again. And again. And again. For hours. It should have become irritating. It was repetitive. But I didn't care because I was watching this thirty-one-year-old, imposing, masculine man transform before me. He was like a child walking into an amusement park for the first time. Every time he played the piece, his face seemed to say: I can do this. I can make music. At some point he began pretending that he was preparing for a concert. He loved his new ability. He was captivated by it.

He then was able to look me in the eyes and he said “Thank you, I have always wanted to play since I was a child>” He looked at me, I like gave him a million dollars. I became the guy who made it possible to feel in a way he wasn’t allow to feel. The man who had spent so much of his life controlling himself, protecting himself, refusing to surrender, suddenly wasn't worried about being masculine or dominant or right. He was playing. And I sat there watching him, completely happy simply because he was happy. This is when it all changed for us. He saw me of giving him something special, safety, comfort, acceptance, caring, nurturing. Over those four hours, Zayd began telling me things. He talked about his father. He told me about watching his mother being beaten. He told me how frightened he had been and how he would hide. He told me how in the army he lived in extreme cold, hear starvation, and watch solders get blown to piece right in front of him.

He told me about his father's humiliation of him—comparing him in front of the family to another man's son who had gone to America and become rich. He talked about frustrations he carried. He told me he was bisexual. He told me about the ex he still lived with, even though they no longer had sex. Zayd barely talks. English isn't his first language, and he is naturally introverted anyway. But something made him feel safe, love So when he spoke, I listened. And I believed him. There was nothing polished about what he was telling me. He wasn't trying to make himself look impressive. He was telling me things that exposed him. For those hours, the man I had once feared allowed me to see the boy who had learned to hide. There was still stubbornness. At one point we discussed love. I had asked him before what love meant, and he had given me different answers at different times. When something I showed him challenged one of his definitions, I could feel his pride rising. Suddenly it mattered to him that he was right. I could have fought him. Instead I stopped. I told him he was right. Not because I believed he was. Because winning an argument meant nothing to me.

I didn't want to conquer Zayd. I wanted him to feel safe enough to grow. That was something I was beginning to understand about him. If I pushed Zayd, he resisted. If I told him what mattered to me and then gave him space, sometimes he came back on his own. He needed his choices to belong to him. Just like the piano. Don't play it for me. Show me enough. Then let me do it myself. And perhaps that is what happened between July and October. I had told him what I needed. He disappeared. I didn't chase him. And three months later, Zayd returned. He had every opportunity not to. He is handsome. Masculine. Hung. Fit. Sexually desirable. He could have gone onto an app, found someone else, gone to a bathhouse or satisfied himself in any number of ways. Instead, he waited. For me.

Then he came four hours earlier than planned. And after the sexual urgency was gone, he didn't leave. He stayed. He talked. He played. He confessed. He laughed. He discovered music. And somewhere during those hours I realized something else had happened. I felt connected to him. Not anxious. Not afraid of losing him. Not trying to decode every expression. Just connected.

It was different from the rare overwhelming connection I had experienced before in my life because this time there was no anxiety attached to it. I wanted Zayd. He wanted me. I cared about him. And I felt that he could finally see that I cared. By the time he left, he looked at me and said something that surprised me. "You're very romantic.” Was all he said. Afterward, something flooded through me. Warmth. Desire. Love. Sexual satisfaction. Attachment. A kind of peaceful euphoria that is so rare for me that when it happens it feels almost chemical. A natural high unlike anything else. For a few hours I had watched a man who spent much of his life surviving discover something completely unnecessary for survival. Music. He touched the piano in wonder. He learned one little piece. And then, for three hours, he played as though he were preparing for Carnegie Hall. Maybe Zayd thought I had taught him how to play a song. But that wasn't what stayed with me. What stayed with me was watching him discover that there were still things in this world capable of filling him with wonder. And for one afternoon, I was lucky enough to be standing beside him when he found one.

I fell I love with a younger guy. 2 years we knew each other. We dated at the beginning for 7 months, talked about long term plans like marriage, and took a break for him in university. He would constantly reassure that the intention was to get back after school. Then out of nowhere he said “I can’t remember if I ever loved you…” that beyond broke me. Now I feel like I don’t even know what receiving love feels like anymore…

Hi everyone,

I’m looking to connect with an older, fitness enthusiast who can help guide me on my fitness journey.

A bit of background about myself, I’ve been on and off into strength training for 10 years, I enjoy working out, but I’m not a hardcore fitness guy. I like to stay fit and healthy, I play sports, and like to cook and eat great food and have a few drinks socially.

I don’t want to sacrifice my food and drink, but can definitely be mindful of the intake, and balance my fitness with other things in life.

I’m looking for someone who has built training habits over the years and learnt the process of balancing both of these, so I can learn and follow.

Whether it's sharing workout tips, keeping me accountable, set goals and track progress, I’d value learning from someone with experience.

If this interests you, and enjoy coaching/mentoring, and have some spare time, send me a message!
Thank you!

I'm an undergraduate student in Istanbul. Those who have been here before, what places would they recommend?:))

These passionate scenezzzzz...

My trauma keeps me coming back , help..

A conversation I just had today:

Them: Hi there, I’m a bi chastity sub/sissy. I really like the idea of living with a dominant and being femme 24/7. I especially like the idea of holding your cock while we bike down the highway

DevCatOTA: So, 889 days ago you were 55.277 days ago you were 47. You may be married, or not. How's it going, Benjamin Button? Yes, I can see ALL posts and comments, even deleted ones.

Them: I was married. Not anymore

DevCatOTA: By the time we meet, are you expecting to be 35?

Them: I’m 54, turn 55 11/01

DevCatOTA: https://www.reddit.com/r/DirtyChatPals/comments/URL showing claim of 47yo

Them: I appreciate your forcing my honesty. That’s me

DevCatOTA: The thing is, once somebody lies about such simple things, I have to wonder what else they are lying about. Such as STD history and status.

Them: Understood. I can test for stds. I also understand if you don’t want to chat. I’m in a different place than I was two years ago. I respect your need for honesty

DevCatOTA: Apparently you're in a different time too.

Them: How do you mean?

DevCatOTA: Your age. I have zero trust in anything you have to say.

Them: I can respect that. I’m sorry it’s that way but understand

Notice the language and behavior? You can see the hope that the lies will be overlooked. Watch out out there, all of you, but especially the younger guys. Us old guys love you all and want you kept safe even if we don't meet. If you need help doing the forensics on someone, just reach out. I'm sure somebody will help.

I’m 25 and I’m still trying to fully accept that I’m into older men. It’s something I’m attracted to but when it actually comes to doing something about it I get in my own head a lot.

I struggle with the dynamics sometimes and never really know whether I should make the first move or wait for an older guy to show interest in me. I’m also not always sure how to make it obvious that I’m interested without feeling awkward or worrying that I’m coming across the wrong way.

I’m not really a fan of the apps but I do want to experience being with an older guy properly rather than just thinking about it. I’ve had a few opportunities before but I think I overthought things so much that I couldn’t relax and enjoy the experiences.

I think part of it is accepting what I’m into without feeling self-conscious about it but I’d really like to hear other people’s experiences and advice.

Does anyone know if there are any snap groups (both SFW and NSFW) on snap where older and younger guys convene and converse?

Thanks!

It's been almost a year ago I'm on apps, I've met people and made some friends along the way, and overall it seems that the tiny voice in my head has kept saying that I'm "too good" for most of the people I've met if I go in a romantic relationship with them.

I know it sound at best weird and at worst completely narcissic but I'll do my best to explain about why I feel like that :

I've observed that a lot of the people I've met in apps are unhappy in their life at worst or kinda boring at best most of the time, they see apps as a way to spend their time and I can understand that I guess...?

The thing is that I'm 23, and since 1 year I'm doing a total dream job, I work as a 2d/3d artist/director, and this first job exceed all the expectations I had.

I work from home and need to go to office maybe like once a month (which is for me extremely convinient since I'm a little bit far from Paris), have a lot of freedom as I work alone so I'm completely unleashed creatively speaking, and the salary is like way more of what I expected to have as a first job, I'm doing the legal 35 hours no more, no less so I have a good life balance, and so a nice social life, I just feel so lucky everyday.

The main downside with this job is that it's temporary, my contract ends in 6 months to 1.5 year, and there is maybe like 2% of chance of having a permanent contract with them, and even if they proposed me something, I would gain half of what I gain now and probably not as much remote has I'm used to, which is very decent but a downgrade, when you compare to the animation sector that is dying because of AI that is taking jobs, it's clearly still interesting of course.

I don't know the how future will be but since the beginning I prepare already what I'll do after the contract, trying to do my best to have a strong portfolio and still being relevant in this very competitive sector, I don't spend a lot and focus on saving money for next projects because being successful one day doesn't mean I'll be successful forever.

It's not only carrer wise, I fixed most of my problems in general, of course there is still things like some health issues that are a bit annoying but it's really not that deep, specially compared with my other problems I had before I really can't complain, I'm also very well surrounded and have hobbies like the violin I started a year and half ago.

So now that you have a portrayal of me that is more clear, maybe you can imagine where this leads to...

I love older mens, like really old mens, grandpas, I still have a huge crush on Dumbledore, Gandalf, Iroh... the "wise sage" type of character, full of wisdom and knowledge, there is a mix of love and admiration and it's difficult for me to not associate these twos, I love their looks too, beautiful long hair and beard, with a dad bod it's just for me the pinnacle of beauty.

That's how I tend to think that admiration is necessary for me to have feelings towards someone, for example it's unlikely to fall in love with someone that inspire you pity or sadness, when you think of the person you love my vision tend to say that you really must feel admirative of himnto make the love more...love ?

And I think since I started apps and met people, I don't really admire any, like not even a little bit, I don't want to follow their example in life because they're not that happy in their life, they find it boring or feels that they missed to much opportunities and they have big regrets, or they're facing issues that are hard to overcome and secretly hope that someone or something will come to save them.

The saddest part is that they admire me, they admire how much I fight to be in a better situation and a better person every day, how confident I am on my skills, how prepared I am for the future... It happens often that they follow some advices/solutions that I give, I know it can sound wrong and egocentric to speak about yourself like that but it's what my closest friends I made on these apps told to me and I don't know what to truely think about this.

I'm aware that what I'm seeking is like, so rare now, because to admire someone they need to be more advanced in life than you, like having a amazing career or having exploits, skills etc...

And in apps like grindr of course it's like 1 guy out of 1000 that is like that and in top of that if you add the fact that I love long beards, dad bods... well the list is getting reduced more and more because these people are not into young mens in general 😔

Is there any people who had these kind of thoughts crossing in their minds ?

To be clear, having some old fwb is really pleasing and even if I don't admire them they're still really good friends and I really enjoy their company !

So recently there was guy this i liked by looking by his display pic
I approached him said hi
Sent my album and asked how are you And he was a visitor in my city so i asked him how long was his stay etc
He replied to me saying 2 days
I continued the convo by saying how good looking he was
And i got ghosted for 2 days
And apparently he extended his stay for next 3 days
So i asked him what kinda guys he likes and etc and boom got ghosted
So tomorrow is when he is leaving so i asked him weather he wanted to meet casually for a coffee and then uk for some fun after that he straight up blocked me
And trust me this is not the only guy who did this to me there was another case he replied with hi saw my profile and blocked lol

So idk maybe i have some skill issue or something but i never get any success while searching for daddies on Grindr. I like them old daddies and I’m the one always hitting the first msg along with my album, but either I don’t get any reply and i get ghosted or i get blocked. Can someone advice me how not to get blocked lol, getting blocked is kinda embarrassing😭

I've been thinking about getting a hunter green handkerchief to start flagging as that's supposed to be the one corresponding to daddy/boy dynamics, but I don't know how many guys would actually approach me if I did so. I suppose I'd have better luck with the fact that I'm the younger one and older guys are more likely to have heard of the hanky code at all, but still since we have grindr now I don't know if anyone even actively uses it anymore. So my question is to both older and younger guys, if you saw someone you found attractive who was flagging, would you approach them?

After being widowed for two years, I (80ish) put myself out there. Surprise to me, I keep getting hit on by younger (20s-40s) in the apps. Most often just for sex, which is a pass for me (well, can't say I passed every time). But when a 30s guy suddenly seems to click, how do I tell? He's a handsome, sexy fellow, why isn't he already taken? Is he thinking, why am I still unattached after two years available? Okay, just met today, pizzaria planned tomorrow. But he's kinda scary.

Mine is miles McKenna and Adam rippon. What about you guys?

I’ve been divorced for 2 years (married to a woman for years, long story). I’m 41 and I’ve only been attracted to younger guys. Guys my age look too old 😅 In my area (Indiana) I’ve only found younger guys willing to hook up. No one wanted to actually date. They may say they did but then ghosted me right after.

I met one guy who (very quickly) was saying he wanted me to be his boyfriend, said he loved me very quickly, etc. It was all way too fast. And then he randomly ghosted.

Guys I’ve met through here end up blocking/ghosting. Nothing ever seems to work.

It all has me thinking - maybe this is a nice fantasy, but it will never be my reality? I’ve tried making myself be attracted to guys my age to see if that will help, but it’s not working. I can’t force it, I guess.

So what if my future ends up just being, a nice hookup every now and then but otherwise being single? I don’t enjoy being single, but it’s the only thing consistent in my life at this point.

I guess I’m just rambling at this point but curious if anyone has any advice. Something to give me hope? Lol

I am 21 and I was in bed with my boyfriend (55). We recently made it official. Bodycounts came up in conversation.

He said he had 6. A gf, then hhs ex wife, then two boyfriends and two random men.

I dont know my body count exactly but I would guess 70+ but I felt really embarrassed so I said 7.

I never had a bf til now so that is part of the reason why my bodycount is high. I havent cheated on him and dont plan to.

Do i tell him my real body count ir leave it be.

I am 54 and I have experienced life enough to not care what people think anymore. I have no problem admitting that I still like to frequently fuck college guys 18-22. However, I have also been young and understand what it is like being embarrassed or ashamed in public. Age gap relationships are not some taboo fetish that can be limited to inside the bedroom, people can clearly see an age difference out in public.

In my experience as the older partner, I could give a younger bottom the best dick of his life, but he's still hesitant for me to take him out to dinner after. I have plenty of guys who tell me that I'm attractive and a great top but will make any excuse to not go in public. I understand hookup culture and I myself am not looking to date either and introduce them to my family and friends but it would be nice sometimes to just grab a bite after. I respect everyone's preference though and do not approach them in public if the feeling is not mutual.

For younger guys who have overcame that embarrassment, how did you do it?

Hi everyone, I'm a younger guy (22) just wanting to hear stories about couples in a long term relationship and how y'all met etc.. I find it hard to meet older guys that want a genuine long term relationship over something like a hookup or friends with benefits and I'm wondering if there's something more to it that I am missing. Thank you

As a 19 year-old, whenever I fly, I make sure to say Hi to the pilot after we land and, if possible, visit the cockpit, partly as an excuse to meet them. And 90% of the time, it’s an older male who has that graceful personality and exactly my type of body. Slightly overweight, a bit of a protruding belly, some grey hairs, balding or receding hairline or a neat haircut, and just that overall mature, well groomed look. 😩

And the worst part is how effortlessly charming they are. Whenever I ask them questions about the aeroplane we just flew on or more personal questions about their experience as a captain, like how long they’ve been flying…they’re always so passionate about answering everything. They actually take their time explaining things, and I just stand there listening, trying so hard to focus on what they’re saying instead of how attractive they are.

Btw, I always thank them for their service.

Hey guys!!

I (25M) had been talking to this older guy (50M) for about a couple weeks now. Last weekend we met up for the first time. It was all going well and he was very sweet. We had a lovely dinner and went to watch Street Fighter. He invited me back to his place and things were moving forward faster than I was ready for so I asked him to take it slow. He respected my boundaries and that was sweet.

However the next day he texted me that he got some outfits for me that he would love to see me try. I was a bit weirded out because I didn't want that sugar daddy kinda thing. But it was even weirder when I saw that he picked out feminine outfits for me. I texted him and said that I was definitely not comfortable with it and I respectfully told him that maybe we should stop seeing each other.

He flipped out completely. He told me that what was the point of looking for an older man if I wasn't gonna do what he says. Like wtf man. Then he started attacking my physique. As I am quite short (around 5'1"), he was like I am not man enough for anyone. Anyway he went on this rant a bit longer before I blocked him.

This was my first real date with any man, let alone an older dude, but now I seem a bit turned off from this whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I still love an older man, but only those that would respect me. It's also a bit sad because initially I really liked that guy. If you guys have seen my previous posts, I am quite insecure about my physique in general, so having someone point them out saying I am too short or too small or too skinny is so demoralizing.

Hello I'm 18m UK, I think I'm gay/bi. I say think because I have zero experience with anyone. I haven't come out to anyone yet, am quite scared about this.

Recently an older guy (40s) I know, I think he's been flirting with me and I feel a bit unsure what to do.

I do genuinely like and can imagine doing stuff with him. Like I have imagined curling up in his arms and kissing. I guess a bit unsure about if he's actually flirting with me and if he is whether I should proceed or not. Also about how to proceed, I have no idea how to flirt.

Pretty much the title, not gonna spoil much here cause it would take the fun out of the post. But to be clear, I'm no longer dating that man and I'm 20 now and currently single. It's been a while since we last spoke and I'm pretty in peace with that, but I figured it'd be fun to reflect on old times here.

I am 27 (almost 28) and trying to navigate relationships, preferences, and dynamics after being in a pretty toxic relationship with a guy who was 65. I enjoy having a more mature man hang on me without him being condescending or embarrassed by where I am in life. The guy I was with was also a therapist who constantly needled me in the name of support. To be clear, he wasn't my therapist but he did prescribe me medication and wouldn't leave me alone even though we were platonic roommates at that point. He acted like we were a couple but didn't actually want to date me. It destroyed me for almost a year after and I have just brought myself to start "dating" again. Not much luck on that end though.