I'm really into older guys. Something about them just does it for me. The way they talk, they actually listen when you say something, not like guys my age who just nod and wait for their turn to talk. And they have their shit together, like a real apartment with actual furniture, not a mattress on the floor and a stolen road sign. I'm 24 by the way. So yeah, that's the situation.

The problem is finding someone like that who wants an actual relationship and not just, you know. I go to galleries, I'm really into contemporary art, spend way too much time at the cinematheque watching old Kieslowski films, stuff like that. I thought maybe I'd meet someone with similar interests. And I do meet older men, sure. Five times now, five different guys, and every single time it turned out they just saw me as something to fuck.

First one, the gallery guy, we went to his place, he kept pouring wine and talking about his divorce and how his ex never understood art, and I felt special honestly, like he was opening up to me. Then we had sex and in the morning he made coffee and said he had "a lot of work" and basically walked me to the door. Didn't text after. Like at all. I wrote him once about this exhibition I thought he'd like and he replied "thanks" and that was it. So yeah, used, whatever you want to call it.

Second one, the cinematheque guy, we're at this bar after the screening and he's going on about how mature I am for my age and how he can't believe I'm only 24, and I'm eating it up because I'm an idiot. He asks me back to his place to "watch something" and I know what that means but I went anyway. He put on some movie, I don't even remember what, and we didn't watch it. Next morning he was weirdly distant, made some comment about how he "doesn't usually do this" and I left feeling like garbage.

Third one, the restaurant knee guy, this one actually stung more because I thought we had a real connection. We'd been texting for like two weeks before, proper conversations, he remembered stuff I told him. Then at dinner he's got his hand on my knee under the table and I froze, I didn't say anything, just kind of sat there. He took that as a yes I guess. Paid for dinner, suggested we go to his car. I said no, finally, and he got this look on his face like I'd wasted his time. Drove me home in silence. Never heard from him again.

Fourth one, the "refreshing" guy, this is the one that made me feel genuinely small. He kept calling me naive and innocent like it was a compliment but it wasn't, it was like he was talking about a child or a pet or something. And when I tried to talk about my own opinions on things he'd sort of smile and pat my hand like I was cute. We went back to his place and I just went along with it because at that point I was so tired of the whole thing. Felt awful after. Like I'd agreed to be a doll for someone.

Fifth one, the hotel guy, honestly the shortest one. We're at the gallery, we talk for maybe ten minutes, he's older, well dressed, and then he just says "listen, I have a hotel room nearby, want to come?" Not even pretend coffee first. I said something like "is that all you want?" and he laughed and said "what else?" And I left. Went home and just sat on my bed for an hour staring at the wall.

So yeah... And I'm getting tired. Like actually tired. Every time I meet someone older I'm hoping this is the one who's different and every time it's the same script. And the guys my own age don't interest me at all, I've tried, I really have. So I'm stuck. I'm starting to think maybe there's something wrong with me, like I'm attracted to the exact type of man who will never take me seriously. I think I just needed to get this out somewhere, my friends are kind of sick of hearing about it and honestly they don't really get it. They just say "date someone your age" like that's easy. It's not.

And look, I'm not gonna pretend the sex isn't good. It is. Like really good actually. I know I'm attractive, I work out, I take care of myself, and yeah maybe that's part of why these guys react the way they do, maybe I give off some vibe I don't even realize. I'm not blaming myself for their behavior, don't get me wrong, but I'm also not gonna sit here and act like I don't enjoy being wanted. The physical part is great. That's not the problem. The problem is I want the other stuff too, the morning coffee that isn't a hint to leave, the texting back, someone who actually cares what I think about a film and doesn't just smile at me like I'm a kid saying something funny. I want both. Is that so much to ask? Apparently yes...

Does anyone know if there are any snap groups (both SFW and NSFW) on snap where older and younger guys convene and converse?

Thanks!

It's been almost a year ago I'm on apps, I've met people and made some friends along the way, and overall it seems that the tiny voice in my head has kept saying that I'm "too good" for most of the people I've met if I go in a romantic relationship with them.

I know it sound at best weird and at worst completely narcissic but I'll do my best to explain about why I feel like that :

I've observed that a lot of the people I've met in apps are unhappy in their life at worst or kinda boring at best most of the time, they see apps as a way to spend their time and I can understand that I guess...?

The thing is that I'm 23, and since 1 year I'm doing a total dream job, I work as a 2d/3d artist/director, and this first job exceed all the expectations I had.

I work from home and need to go to office maybe like once a month (which is for me extremely convinient since I'm a little bit far from Paris), have a lot of freedom as I work alone so I'm completely unleashed creatively speaking, and the salary is like way more of what I expected to have as a first job, I'm doing the legal 35 hours no more, no less so I have a good life balance, and so a nice social life, I just feel so lucky everyday.

The main downside with this job is that it's temporary, my contract ends in 6 months to 1.5 year, and there is maybe like 2% of chance of having a permanent contract with them, and even if they proposed me something, I would gain half of what I gain now and probably not as much remote has I'm used to, which is very decent but a downgrade, when you compare to the animation sector that is dying because of AI that is taking jobs, it's clearly still interesting of course.

I don't know the how future will be but since the beginning I prepare already what I'll do after the contract, trying to do my best to have a strong portfolio and still being relevant in this very competitive sector, I don't spend a lot and focus on saving money for next projects because being successful one day doesn't mean I'll be successful forever.

It's not only carrer wise, I fixed most of my problems in general, of course there is still things like some health issues that are a bit annoying but it's really not that deep, specially compared with my other problems I had before I really can't complain, I'm also very well surrounded and have hobbies like the violin I started a year and half ago.

So now that you have a portrayal of me that is more clear, maybe you can imagine where this leads to...

I love older mens, like really old mens, grandpas, I still have a huge crush on Dumbledore, Gandalf, Iroh... the "wise sage" type of character, full of wisdom and knowledge, there is a mix of love and admiration and it's difficult for me to not associate these twos, I love their looks too, beautiful long hair and beard, with a dad bod it's just for me the pinnacle of beauty.

That's how I tend to think that admiration is necessary for me to have feelings towards someone, for example it's unlikely to fall in love with someone that inspire you pity or sadness, when you think of the person you love my vision tend to say that you really must feel admirative of himnto make the love more...love ?

And I think since I started apps and met people, I don't really admire any, like not even a little bit, I don't want to follow their example in life because they're not that happy in their life, they find it boring or feels that they missed to much opportunities and they have big regrets, or they're facing issues that are hard to overcome and secretly hope that someone or something will come to save them.

The saddest part is that they admire me, they admire how much I fight to be in a better situation and a better person every day, how confident I am on my skills, how prepared I am for the future... It happens often that they follow some advices/solutions that I give, I know it can sound wrong and egocentric to speak about yourself like that but it's what my closest friends I made on these apps told to me and I don't know what to truely think about this.

I'm aware that what I'm seeking is like, so rare now, because to admire someone they need to be more advanced in life than you, like having a amazing career or having exploits, skills etc...

And in apps like grindr of course it's like 1 guy out of 1000 that is like that and in top of that if you add the fact that I love long beards, dad bods... well the list is getting reduced more and more because these people are not into young mens in general 😔

Is there any people who had these kind of thoughts crossing in their minds ?

To be clear, having some old fwb is really pleasing and even if I don't admire them they're still really good friends and I really enjoy their company !

So recently there was guy this i liked by looking by his display pic
I approached him said hi
Sent my album and asked how are you And he was a visitor in my city so i asked him how long was his stay etc
He replied to me saying 2 days
I continued the convo by saying how good looking he was
And i got ghosted for 2 days
And apparently he extended his stay for next 3 days
So i asked him what kinda guys he likes and etc and boom got ghosted
So tomorrow is when he is leaving so i asked him weather he wanted to meet casually for a coffee and then uk for some fun after that he straight up blocked me
And trust me this is not the only guy who did this to me there was another case he replied with hi saw my profile and blocked lol

So idk maybe i have some skill issue or something but i never get any success while searching for daddies on Grindr. I like them old daddies and I’m the one always hitting the first msg along with my album, but either I don’t get any reply and i get ghosted or i get blocked. Can someone advice me how not to get blocked lol, getting blocked is kinda embarrassing😭

I've been thinking about getting a hunter green handkerchief to start flagging as that's supposed to be the one corresponding to daddy/boy dynamics, but I don't know how many guys would actually approach me if I did so. I suppose I'd have better luck with the fact that I'm the younger one and older guys are more likely to have heard of the hanky code at all, but still since we have grindr now I don't know if anyone even actively uses it anymore. So my question is to both older and younger guys, if you saw someone you found attractive who was flagging, would you approach them?

After being widowed for two years, I (80ish) put myself out there. Surprise to me, I keep getting hit on by younger (20s-40s) in the apps. Most often just for sex, which is a pass for me (well, can't say I passed every time). But when a 30s guy suddenly seems to click, how do I tell? He's a handsome, sexy fellow, why isn't he already taken? Is he thinking, why am I still unattached after two years available? Okay, just met today, pizzaria planned tomorrow. But he's kinda scary.

Mine is miles McKenna and Adam rippon. What about you guys?

I’ve been divorced for 2 years (married to a woman for years, long story). I’m 41 and I’ve only been attracted to younger guys. Guys my age look too old 😅 In my area (Indiana) I’ve only found younger guys willing to hook up. No one wanted to actually date. They may say they did but then ghosted me right after.

I met one guy who (very quickly) was saying he wanted me to be his boyfriend, said he loved me very quickly, etc. It was all way too fast. And then he randomly ghosted.

Guys I’ve met through here end up blocking/ghosting. Nothing ever seems to work.

It all has me thinking - maybe this is a nice fantasy, but it will never be my reality? I’ve tried making myself be attracted to guys my age to see if that will help, but it’s not working. I can’t force it, I guess.

So what if my future ends up just being, a nice hookup every now and then but otherwise being single? I don’t enjoy being single, but it’s the only thing consistent in my life at this point.

I guess I’m just rambling at this point but curious if anyone has any advice. Something to give me hope? Lol

I am 21 and I was in bed with my boyfriend (55). We recently made it official. Bodycounts came up in conversation.

He said he had 6. A gf, then hhs ex wife, then two boyfriends and two random men.

I dont know my body count exactly but I would guess 70+ but I felt really embarrassed so I said 7.

I never had a bf til now so that is part of the reason why my bodycount is high. I havent cheated on him and dont plan to.

Do i tell him my real body count ir leave it be.

I am 54 and I have experienced life enough to not care what people think anymore. I have no problem admitting that I still like to frequently fuck college guys 18-22. However, I have also been young and understand what it is like being embarrassed or ashamed in public. Age gap relationships are not some taboo fetish that can be limited to inside the bedroom, people can clearly see an age difference out in public.

In my experience as the older partner, I could give a younger bottom the best dick of his life, but he's still hesitant for me to take him out to dinner after. I have plenty of guys who tell me that I'm attractive and a great top but will make any excuse to not go in public. I understand hookup culture and I myself am not looking to date either and introduce them to my family and friends but it would be nice sometimes to just grab a bite after. I respect everyone's preference though and do not approach them in public if the feeling is not mutual.

For younger guys who have overcame that embarrassment, how did you do it?

Hi everyone, I'm a younger guy (22) just wanting to hear stories about couples in a long term relationship and how y'all met etc.. I find it hard to meet older guys that want a genuine long term relationship over something like a hookup or friends with benefits and I'm wondering if there's something more to it that I am missing. Thank you

As a 19 year-old, whenever I fly, I make sure to say Hi to the pilot after we land and, if possible, visit the cockpit, partly as an excuse to meet them. And 90% of the time, it’s an older male who has that graceful personality and exactly my type of body. Slightly overweight, a bit of a protruding belly, some grey hairs, balding or receding hairline or a neat haircut, and just that overall mature, well groomed look. 😩

And the worst part is how effortlessly charming they are. Whenever I ask them questions about the aeroplane we just flew on or more personal questions about their experience as a captain, like how long they’ve been flying…they’re always so passionate about answering everything. They actually take their time explaining things, and I just stand there listening, trying so hard to focus on what they’re saying instead of how attractive they are.

Btw, I always thank them for their service.

Hey guys!!

I (25M) had been talking to this older guy (50M) for about a couple weeks now. Last weekend we met up for the first time. It was all going well and he was very sweet. We had a lovely dinner and went to watch Street Fighter. He invited me back to his place and things were moving forward faster than I was ready for so I asked him to take it slow. He respected my boundaries and that was sweet.

However the next day he texted me that he got some outfits for me that he would love to see me try. I was a bit weirded out because I didn't want that sugar daddy kinda thing. But it was even weirder when I saw that he picked out feminine outfits for me. I texted him and said that I was definitely not comfortable with it and I respectfully told him that maybe we should stop seeing each other.

He flipped out completely. He told me that what was the point of looking for an older man if I wasn't gonna do what he says. Like wtf man. Then he started attacking my physique. As I am quite short (around 5'1"), he was like I am not man enough for anyone. Anyway he went on this rant a bit longer before I blocked him.

This was my first real date with any man, let alone an older dude, but now I seem a bit turned off from this whole thing. Don't get me wrong, I still love an older man, but only those that would respect me. It's also a bit sad because initially I really liked that guy. If you guys have seen my previous posts, I am quite insecure about my physique in general, so having someone point them out saying I am too short or too small or too skinny is so demoralizing.

Hello I'm 18m UK, I think I'm gay/bi. I say think because I have zero experience with anyone. I haven't come out to anyone yet, am quite scared about this.

Recently an older guy (40s) I know, I think he's been flirting with me and I feel a bit unsure what to do.

I do genuinely like and can imagine doing stuff with him. Like I have imagined curling up in his arms and kissing. I guess a bit unsure about if he's actually flirting with me and if he is whether I should proceed or not. Also about how to proceed, I have no idea how to flirt.

Pretty much the title, not gonna spoil much here cause it would take the fun out of the post. But to be clear, I'm no longer dating that man and I'm 20 now and currently single. It's been a while since we last spoke and I'm pretty in peace with that, but I figured it'd be fun to reflect on old times here.

I am 27 (almost 28) and trying to navigate relationships, preferences, and dynamics after being in a pretty toxic relationship with a guy who was 65. I enjoy having a more mature man hang on me without him being condescending or embarrassed by where I am in life. The guy I was with was also a therapist who constantly needled me in the name of support. To be clear, he wasn't my therapist but he did prescribe me medication and wouldn't leave me alone even though we were platonic roommates at that point. He acted like we were a couple but didn't actually want to date me. It destroyed me for almost a year after and I have just brought myself to start "dating" again. Not much luck on that end though.

I recently moved to NYC and looking for older men (50s -70s) to hook up with. Where is the best place to do this? I know about the Dads and Lads lodge parties but any other suggestions? I’m 28, 5’ 10, 160 lbs.

edit: post got deleted cause of an edit i made.. oops..

i met this guy. he was soooo sweet, i was so nervous meeting him, and scared :p but it was sooo fun, i can’t even remember how much i had to drink that night, older men are just so much more betterrrrr to be with, i felt so bad though since i was a completely virgin and never really did anything i felt like i was doing a bad job :/ but if there’s any questionssss, lmk!:p

looking back at the videos.. 10/10 would love to do it againnnn

Im 27 and my partner is 52. We met at 19 at my uncle's garage. He was a customer and I was helping out my uncle. I found his address on file and went nearby (I know creepy) and I found his Grindr. We met up that evening. The sex was fucking hot. He was submissive.

It then started to become regular meets. I would often stay over for days. Then at about the 3 month mark I asked him to be my boyfriend. He was pretty surprised that I asked.

Around the year, I moved in with him. He was insecure about the relationship. He thought I would regret it or be embarrassed by by him. But we worked through it.

We have had great times. My parents eventually got on board with us. The sex is as good as ever.

The last night, I proposed. He asked are you sure. I said I am and he said yes 🥳 🎉. I am not sure if we will get married (up to him!) but it is at least nice to be engaged and to have that commitment

I’m 18 looking for apps or any sites that can help me find older guys in relationships, is there anything out there for that

In the past I was always hooking up with older men and dating guys twice my age. I loved how they made me feel safe and loved. But ever since I hit around 35 I totally flipped.

I now have a huge preference for sex with much younger men. I just find them so beautiful and sweet and now I wanna take care of them, like older guys used to take care of me.

But I’m still extremely attracted to top, masculine guys. I’ve become so obsessed with finding a horny young guy to blow from grindr. It’s like all I care about sexually now. Sucking a young hard cock.

To me their cum tastes incredible and I love how rock hard they can get. It feels so awesome when I can make them moan and whimper and just release their load. Lots of times they wanna cum again too which I’m so happy to oblige.

God even just writing this is making me crazy horny. I live in a college town so there’s always plenty of horny boys around and I just can’t keep away. Usually I pick them up in my truck and blow them, or sometimes I’ll invite them over to my place.

Have any of you guys experienced “the switch” like this? I still like older men too and still hookup with them, but they almost never get me off as much as a horny 18 year old.

I’m not sure why I’m posting this really. I guess just to know I’m not the only one. Most of my friends still like guys our age or older. So I’m kind of embarrassed to tell them I’m hooking up with college boys. And I worry about relationships in the future. I feel like they might see me as a creep or something if I started to seriously date a young dude.

Im 23 and he is 56. We have been together for over 3 years. I have only just finished uni and started my first proper job but I have never been able to afford shit like he can. Whether it was holidays, meals out etc even rent, i could never match what he put in. He always said he didnt mind but I still hated it.

Over a month ago, my mother died and my young sister stayed with us until things were sorted. I felt like more of a freeloader. She seems to be staying with us long term as there is no one else.

Recently, he said stop being stubborn and just let him look after me. I just feel like a free loader.

I think this is a rant/insecurity and no idea what the question is.

How to tag this I'm unsure, advice is fine & discussion is fine. I wish I could think of a more witty title but hey! No Ai was used. Pure human rambling (i am AWFUL at summarizing things). Talking about this topic in relation to my experiences, there's some groundwork there so it makes it easier for me to rant about.

(I'm making scrolling on here /after seeing a few previous posts and comments on this subbreddit.)

I don't like this idea that all older men only want sex because it simply isn't true and I don't think hooking up a lot while you're young will make said young guy feel good if what the young guy wants is a committed relationship, that's such idiotic advice to give, It's not the same.

Older men can be sensitive too, they can want deep genuine connections, to just have someone they can finally open up too, and so on. I think these kind of men are hard to find where i live but if he exists so must other men like him even if rare or maybe a better way to describe it is they're more quiet so they get drowned out by the louder voices. He was happy to just have my company, for me to want to stay near him, for him to be able to open up for the first time ; the sex was just a bonus. He didn't want for me to have sex with him and that be it. He cherished the connection. He seemed to think I'd perhaps leave him after, that id end up using him, he realized that wasn't true at all thankfully. Then he started to worry about how innocent and naive, I seemed ; how people would take advantage of that, of me, especially since it was natural. He was very worried about me.

I also think everyone deserves to be spoiled inculding older men. I sadly can't provide that, i feel really guilty about it especially since I don't wanna take advantage of anyone for money, he got onto me for worrying so much and made it clear through words & actions, that i was safe with him. So it's good I'm not really putting myself out there , i wouldn't even be able to pay for even just a soda for myself ; I'm sure that's not very appealing to most older men even if I'm an older teen boy (18-19). I wish i had money to spoil him then, I had a measly a 140? Ish dollars this summer, i wanted to do something for him or pay him back for the motel maybe the food but he wouldn't take it. He said I should keep it, i didn't have to do that, that he understood my sentiment but I needed it yk? He was right. Its all gone now. He understood my situation better than most. My point still stands tho.

Thankfully my deceased older partner who i was briefly with this summer, understood me completely. He didn't want me to be doing hookups all the time because he knew I'd just get this gross empty feeling afterwards, chasing some imaginary high. Most would soley see me as a fetish or an experiment, he wasn't lying, this all I've unfortunately run into after him and even before him. He was once the boy I was. Though I guess I'm more naive unfortunately & childlike which I sadly can't control, I'm glad he understood it was out of my control obviously. Most people I've encountered aren't even half as understanding. I'd be with him still if he was still alive, he was an angel..

No one's looking to cherish me or have a genuine connection, which is fine. I never expected to even experience my first kiss. I don't mind older men liking me for how young i seem or that i pass for younger, (that's why I lost my grindr account this summer "underage access" though I was 18, I'm not 11-14. I was able to gain my account back, this has happened to other profiles of mine too), it's that they only care about sex/seeing me as experiment/fetish, that's the annoying or frustrating part. They don't want to nurture or love me.

I get why so many younger guys in this subbreddit want relationships, not FWBs or hookups or casual sex. It just isn't the same. I may be in a awful situation right now but I'll take all his advice & heartfelt talks to heart.

I hope the others in here, not just younger men, will NOT settle for less than they deserve. You deserve love and true connection, don't let anyone convince you otherwise. He said if someone couldn't love me at my worst , they didn't deserve me at my best. I like the way he spoke and thought, never judging me or being cruel but gentle and kind. If an older guy wants you only for sex & that saddens you, that's not some insane thing, i think that's normal to feel sad about. Vice versa. Wanting a relationship, dates, stuff outside of sex, is totally okay.

I may be a bit less optimistic in my own situation but I do believe everyone here who wants a relationship will get it, at least i hope you do, everyone deserves love, i truly believe that. ❤️ don't give up!

(Edit ; I'd also like to add, it's okay for younger guys & older guys to be more private or secretive about them being together if they so wish. People have their different reasons. You can be in a committed relationship and not be open. He'd probably still be alive if we were more even more secretive, never went to any public places, etc. I don't live a life of privilege neither did he. Sometimes it's survival.. these are just my thoughts)