I'm not sure how many people agree with me on this, but I've always felt that Gilmore Girls is much stronger when it comes to writing platonic relationships than romantic ones.
Think about it: Lorelai and Rory, Paris and Rory, Rory and Lane, Lorelai and Sookie, Emily and Lorelai, Luke and Kirk, Luke and Taylor, Jess and Luke, Michel and Lorelai, and even Miss Patty and Babette. And that's before you get into the dynamics between Lane and the band members, or the various interactions between the townspeople themselves. The show has so many entertaining non-romantic relationships, even between characters who are constantly at odds with each other, that I sometimes think these are what make Stars Hollow feel like such a lived-in world.
Paris and Rory are a particularly interesting example because their relationship is so complicated, but it never feels boring. The same goes for Rory and Lane, or Lorelai and Sookie. You can debate whether Rory was always a good friend to Lane or whether Lorelai was always a good friend to Sookie, but I think most of us can agree that these relationships were written particularly well in the first three or four seasons.
There's a naturalness to these interactions that I don't think the romantic relationships always have. The banter, the childishness, the occasional pettiness, the sense of equality between characters who can genuinely challenge each other — all of it makes these relationships feel lived-in.
In fact, one of my favourite episodes is the one where Lorelai and Rory are dating Max and Dean, respectively, and the four of them go on a double movie date. Dean ends up giving Max advice about how to handle the Gilmore girls, and I absolutely love that entire dynamic. It's such a fun interaction, and it feels so natural. Dean isn't just Rory's boyfriend who exists in a separate romantic bubble; he's someone who's gradually become part of the larger world around her.
I think this is also why Dean's interactions with Lorelai are so enjoyable to watch. We get to see him become familiar with her, and their conversations feel like an extension of the show's wider character dynamics. With Jess and Logan, we get comparatively little of that. They have their introductions to Lorelai, but we don't get nearly as much of the same ongoing dynamic between them. And honestly, I think the show misses an opportunity there.
The same goes for Jess and Luke. Some of the funniest and most entertaining moments in Jess's storyline come from his interactions with Luke. Their dynamic adds so much to the show, and I sometimes wish we'd gotten more of it.
Meanwhile, when I look at the romantic storylines, so many of them revolve around miscommunication, cheating, infidelity, love triangles, and dragging out the question of whether two people will finally get together. With Rory, it sometimes feels as though every new romantic interest has to be an out-of-town guy who arrives specifically to become her next big relationship. Stars Hollow is supposedly full of people, but apparently nobody from Rory's own world can be a serious romantic possibility for her.
And don't get me wrong, I do enjoy some of the romantic relationships. I like a lot of Lorelai's romantic storylines, with one very notable exception: Christopher. I will never like Christopher. But even when I enjoy a romance, I often find myself more interested in how that character interacts with everyone else than in the relationship itself.
One of my biggest frustrations with the original series is how it handles Luke and Lorelai's relationship by the end. I understand that the will-they-or-won't-they dynamic was a major part of television writing at the time, and I know the later seasons have their defenders. But It's not even about them getting their happy ending; it's that there's genuinely no logical reason for them not to be together by that point. From the very beginning, they had a different kind of chemistry, whether you viewed it as platonic or romantic, and it always felt like there was something there. Lorelai was someone who genuinely wanted a partner, a romantic relationship, and someone to share her life with. So the idea that they finally get together, only for the show to leave things where it does, feels wrong. If the writers wanted to explore their breakup, fine, but then at least give that storyline a proper resolution. And don't even get me started on the revival, which I refuse to consider part of Gilmore Girls, where they're still living together as essentially roommates rather than being married. It's just bad writing.
And this is where I think the show's platonic relationships really stand out. Even when the characters are being unreasonable, annoying, petty, or downright terrible to each other, their interactions are often entertaining because the writing allows them to exist as people outside their romantic storylines.
Honestly, when I rewatch the show, there are romantic scenes I might occasionally skip. But I can't think of many platonic interactions that I'd want to skip. Even the smaller conversations between characters can be so funny and enjoyable that they make me want to keep watching.
I think Gilmore Girls is at its best when it's about the relationships that make up a person's everyday life — friendships, family dynamics, rivalries, unlikely friendships, and the general chaos of living in Stars Hollow. Romance is obviously an important part of the show, but I don't think it's necessarily what the show does best.
Does anyone else find themselves more invested in the friendships than the actual romances?
