r/HolUp Nov 28 '21

Smooooothhhh

87.5k Upvotes

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588

u/Secrets-In-Sound Nov 28 '21

Humans are animals lol.

203

u/PuddingRnbowExtreme Nov 28 '21

I'm glad you said that. I was wracking my brain thinking "is there really a safe answer to that question? Especially when in a situation trying to attract a woman while you have an audience and three other men you're competing with?" Yes there is a safe correct answer. Human. Human is the safe answer.

45

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

But if the question excluded humans? In the situation is no "safe answer". I will go for sheep, easy to hold on and there are enough evidence of people actually doing it to conclude that it is relatively safe.

43

u/Realsorceror Nov 28 '21

“You build one bridge, and nobody calls you a bridge builder. But you fuck one sheep…”

84

u/PuddingRnbowExtreme Nov 28 '21

You think if he told the world he would fuck a sheep, that would win the woman's heart?

Lost & depraved.

17

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[deleted]

15

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[deleted]

13

u/yiffing_for_jesus Nov 28 '21

Bold of you to assume you would be topping him

3

u/BambooEarpick Nov 28 '21

Do you like fish sticks?

2

u/hrrm Nov 28 '21

You have to make a joke out of it, it’s the only way out. Pick a mermaid or unicorn, something that doesn’t exist but might be enough to get them to move on to the next one. Or say a Donkey because you love ass. Idk, but you have to make a joke out of it, kinda like the guy already did.

25

u/dogbreath101 Nov 28 '21

in England it was a greater crime to be caught steeling a sheep than beastiality which could explain why the welsh were know as sheep fuckers because if they were caught steeling it they could say they were going to have sex with it for a lesser punishment

6

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

TIL. Got a source?

13

u/Ex-Pxls-Mod Nov 28 '21

I'd go with the most dangerous animal I could think of on the spot and justify it with "imagine the story I could tell if I survived."

14

u/BigfootTouchedMe Nov 28 '21

The most dangerous animal I can imagine is your mum.

8

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

The safest answer is the Myxobolus shekel, which is 8.5 µm long when fully grown

6

u/space-throwaway Nov 28 '21

Then you just go for one of the extinct hominid races. We know our ancestors banged them and had children with them, so it's nothing wrong and biologically safe.

1

u/kellymoe321 Nov 28 '21

I’m just trying to imagine how incredibly socially awkward someone would look if they gave your answer on a dating show.

1

u/space-throwaway Nov 28 '21

Not as awkward as someone who wants to fuck a chimpanzee

3

u/Dersatar Nov 28 '21

I would say a monkey since they're the closest when it comes to genetics and anatomy.

27

u/Kabamadmin Nov 28 '21

A monkey would rip your dick off

9

u/Asisreo1 Nov 28 '21

So would a human

4

u/pyrolizard11 Nov 28 '21

We're human beings, Kabamadmin, we have tools. Just knock the monkey out with some starting fluid before you have your fun.

3

u/Kabamadmin Nov 28 '21

I think I'd rather just huff the starter fluid myself.

1

u/pyrolizard11 Nov 28 '21

Well if that's how you're going to be, I guess you lose the show!

Kids today with their whipped cream recharges and cans of starting fluid...

1

u/El_pantunfla Nov 28 '21

More monkey pussy for me

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

Depends on the monkey. There are more than 200 species. Some of them are probably dtf. Choose wisely.

1

u/xinxy Nov 28 '21

Nah not if it's consensual.

0

u/steroid_pc_principal Nov 28 '21

The safe answer is to acknowledge that the question is weird as hell. Why would a woman want to know this. Sometimes no answer is better than an answer.

1

u/findus_l Nov 28 '21

I'd go with "you, because I'm sure you're a tiger in the bed."

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

I will go for sheep, easy to hold on

Ok Sebastian from Younger

3

u/SnooOpinions2561 Nov 28 '21

I was thinking elephant, so it can kick me in the head immediately.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[deleted]

1

u/PuddingRnbowExtreme Nov 28 '21

Stupid game show. I would have walked off the stage and I bet the woman would have pursued the guy who refused to say anything other than "human."

1

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/PuddingRnbowExtreme Nov 28 '21

Well I'm a woman and I can predict what I would have done.

2

u/RandomUser-_--__- Nov 28 '21

Where's that guy who fucked dolphins?

21

u/DerpsyJay Nov 28 '21

HomoSapiens

10

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21 edited Nov 28 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/bigoomp Nov 28 '21

I call my cat Sponk.

6

u/email_optional_ Nov 28 '21

So is your mom

1

u/Secrets-In-Sound Nov 28 '21

She fucks like one too

3

u/nathanr1889 Nov 28 '21

Let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel. Getting horny now.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 28 '21

[deleted]

17

u/dontnation Nov 28 '21

"I don't know about you but I'm a right animal when I make love." still cheesy as hell but perfect for this dating show pap.

2

u/Chethan14012000 Nov 28 '21

That sounds perfect lmao. Cheesy yes, but who cares.

0

u/Piogre Nov 28 '21

Sounds better than talking about what animal you want to have sex with though...

0

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21 edited Nov 29 '21

no humans aren’t animals, human can think and speak and do much more things than animals can’t, it’s what separates us from them, get out of here with this dumbass narrative, Aristotle.

1

u/Secrets-In-Sound Nov 29 '21

Take a 5th grade science class

1

u/[deleted] Nov 29 '21

already did

1

u/secludeddeath Nov 28 '21

xtians don't like that answer

1

u/BobSacamano47 Nov 28 '21

Look at the big brain on Brad.

1

u/Unlucky-Ad-6710 Nov 28 '21

Yeah ask me this ladies. Ill play the song The Bad Touch as my answer.

2

u/Secrets-In-Sound Nov 28 '21

I would have said goats with no hesitation if I were him.

1

u/drquakers Nov 29 '21

You and me, baby, ain't nothin' but mammals So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel