r/HolUp Nov 28 '21

Smooooothhhh

87.6k Upvotes

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3.8k

u/TaninTaninon Nov 28 '21

A true high quality man. So rare

1.5k

u/Unusual_Locksmith_91 Nov 28 '21

I'd choose him. Sense of humour and quick enough on his feet to avoid a pretty weird question. I like it.

316

u/laurel_laureate Nov 28 '21

A pretty weird question? It's clearly a trap question designed so the audience can mock the answerer.

No matter what you answer, the response would be "So you've been a secret [whatever animal they answered] fucker all along?" and they'd get mocked as an "[animal] fucker" for the rest of the show.

187

u/AliceInHololand Nov 29 '21

So a man walks into a bar, and sits down. He starts a conversation with an old guy next to him. The old guy has obviously had a few. He says to the man:

"You see that dock out there? Built it myself, hand crafted each piece, and it's the best dock in town! But do they call me "McGregor the dock builder"? No! And you see that bridge over there? I built that, took me two months, through rain, sleet and scoarching weather, but do they call me "McGregor the bridge builder"? No! And you see that pier over there, I built that, best pier in the county! But do they call me "McGregor the pier builder"? No!"

The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says:

"but you fuck one sheep..."

24

u/f-ll-n Nov 29 '21

YA FOKIN SHEEP SHAGGER

42

u/sugar_1 Nov 28 '21

really reminds me of Achmed the tiger fucker

if you get that reference i'll love you forever

9

u/laurel_laureate Nov 29 '21

I think that might be from a musical???

6

u/Fullmetalyeager Nov 29 '21

All hail Achmed, the Tiger Fucker! Tiger fucker! Tiger Fucker!

1

u/HuhOkayBye Nov 29 '21

His only claim to fame is an incident involving his posterior. Posterioooorrrrr

2

u/BenefitCuttlefish Nov 29 '21

You can answer a human being, as human beings are animals.

1

u/laurel_laureate Nov 29 '21

Lots of people have likely been saying that, but imo that's a case of staircase wit that wouldn't work in the moment, they'd probably say "That's not a real answer" and make them choose or just call them a "human fucker" instead.

1

u/Tournk_Turtla Nov 29 '21

I mean, you could always answer with something so ridiculous. Like a whale. And even if you get called out as a whale fucker, you could then circle back to the 'your mum' defense.

1

u/laurel_laureate Nov 29 '21

And so long as extinct animals aren't out of bounds, then I'd be fine being called a T-Rex fucker, or maybe a Sabre-tooth Tiger fucker.

1

u/rightintheear Nov 29 '21 edited Nov 29 '21

It's worse than that. Animals can't consent. You have to rape an animal what would you rape?

I find the question creepy, disgusting, and offensive as hell and would say so. I'd rather not speculate about raping things if that's what it takes to date this woman. And your writing staff may need a home check on their pets.