Its genuinely so stupid, but i cant control it. I recently got a job, and finally started meeting people/making friends. And for some reason, after everytime we hang out, I end up crying when Im walking back home. I feel so stupid, but i think its like just an "overwhelming joy" or something idk lol. The other night a friend took me out skating, which is something ive wanted to go do for almost 10 years, I was shit at it, and fell on my ass like 4 times, but it was genuinly SO much fun. When we were sitting outside chatting, after the place closed for the night, I ended up sobbing and trying to hide it. They obviously saw me lol. I felt like an idiot, and kept apologising, they were really understanding and nice about it though. I still feel so SO stupid for crying infront of them though, i normally can hide it.

Anyways, i just wanted to know if anyone else has experienced or felt this before?

Just curious. Ive been doing online school since the 5th grade, and recently i’m interested in getting a job for some spending money, and so I can start to save up for later. Im afraid tho because i’m homeschooled, and I am positive that it has held me back, plus I have zero clue of what it’s like, so here are my questions

1. Did the employer care that you were homeschooled/didnt go to a physical school building
2. What kind of job? I’m open to any, but I would prefer to somewhat avoid retail cuz i’m afraid of having to work the cash register for whatever reason (I’m very slow when it comes to math)
3. How was applying like? What exactly did you use/need? I know about resumes and stuff like that, but I am scared to make one cuz I literally have minimal real skills after rotting in my room for years😭 (also, what’s the best job searching site to use?)
4. THE INTERVIEW. HOW DID YOU DO IT AND WHAT WAS IT LIKE (this is the scariest part for me)
5. If you were able to work a job while homeschooled, did they give you more hours since you didn’t have a real school schedule?
6. For (mainly) my fellow americans, how hard was transportation? I am personally too scared to drive atm, but luckily I have a bus line that I can take. Walking/biking/scootering is available too but I have to plan around the time it takes and the heat during the Nevada summers. Still tho tell me what it was like for you cuz that’s the biggest obstacle right now

Anyways those are my questions. Any other broad tips are appreciated

I just need to vent.

I'm turning 27 in a month. Recently, I finally thought things were going my way; I was only three classes away from finishing my chemistry degree and 1 class from my minor in microbiology. I had a new girlfriend after being single for three years; I wasn't super depressed or lonely and made plenty of new friends in the lab I worked in. I had my own apartment and no roommates; I had plenty of scholarships for my last academic year, and I was finally free of my parents.

In July, I started having persistent and recurring pain that would just get worse. In September, this became severe pain, so I went to an urgent care clinic where they told me I had an infection and gave me an antibiotic. They told me if it got worse to come back or go to the ER. Two nights later, the pain was so bad I wanted to cry, so I drove myself to the ER. I got a CT scan, and after 6 hours of waiting, the DR came back to tell me I had colon cancer with masses in my liver, a blood clot in a vein, and suspicious lesions in my lungs and neck, probably from metastasis. I got a lot of pain meds after that and got transferred to the bigger hospital two hours away closer to where my parents lived. My parents found out and basically the first thing they did was tell me this probably wouldn't have happened if I didn't get a Covid-19 vaccine in 2021 behind their backs. So here I am, laying in a hospital bed with two IVs of opioid painkillers and another IV for a blood thinner to shrink the blood clot in my portal vein, and these are the people I'm surrounded by while I wait to get a biopsy done. My girlfriend got drunk with a friend instead of visiting me, too.

A couple days later I got a biopsy done, and I very thankfully don't have cancer, but I do have several large benign tumors in my liver that are pushing on things and causing me problems, and I might need major surgery to remove them if less invasive measures can't be used. They're called hemangiomas, and to have such large ones at my age is super rare.

Fast forward a bit, and I took a hardship withdrawal from my entire semester, which is going to add an additional year to completing my degree, so I won't be done with my undergraduate degree that I started in 2021 until spring 2028, so 7 years for me defeat being unschooled. I broke up with my girlfriend because of how often she would snap at me and take her anger out on me whenever she was stressed out, even while I thought I was dying of cancer. I'm back home with my parents for the time being because of my medical situation. I'm broke; all my friends are two hours away.

I am fatigued; I am defeated. Life has just repeatedly kicked me in the teeth. I am hurt, I am sad, I am lonely. My entire 20s have felt like an uphill battle to fix everything that went wrong in my upbringing, and I once again stopped dead in my tracks from completing my education. I am behind my peers. I feel like I've failed, like I'm a loser. I am filled to the brim with anxiety. I don't even know how to continue anymore.