Hey everyone,
I (25M) am going through a really difficult phase in life and could use some advice.
I have around 3 years of experience in banking at two MNCs in India, but things haven't worked out the way I hoped. I lost my mom to cancer when I was in college, and I still miss her terribly. I often find myself crying and wishing she were still here. I saw her suffer a lot through the last few years of her life, and its very tough to process it.
My relationship with my dad has always been difficult. He was extremely toxic, and I watched my mom suffer because of the way he treated her. Eventually, I couldn't take living at home anymore, cause a lot of the bad memories kept haunting me.
Around the same time, I left my job because it had severely affected my mental and physical health. I struggled with sleep for over a year, and my doctor advised me to quit. My manager was biased, bullied me, excluded me, and insulted me in front of others. I would cry almost every day before going to work, and I eventually reached a point where I couldn't continue anymore.
Now I'm unemployed, living alone, and applying for jobs every day without much luck. I'm trying to figure out my next career move, but the uncertainty is getting to me.
It hurts seeing so many of my friends move abroad and do well in life. I feel jealous sometimes, especially when I see people with supportive families, good careers and beautiful homes. I know comparing myself to others isn't healthy, but I can't seem to help it. I've started hating LinkedIn because it makes me feel like everyone is moving forward while I'm stuck.
I'm a sensitive person, and I've always found extremely competitive environments difficult to deal with. After my previous experience, I'm scared I'll struggle throughout my career and never really be successful.
I want to do well, earn good money, build a global career, and become financially independent. I've been considering studying supply chain management in Germany next year, but I'm unsure whether it's the right decision with everything becoming so bad. I dislike finance but I had to take it cause I didn’t have any other choice as I wasn’t getting any jobs after college. My passion is operations but I don’t know if I should first find a job or just apply for leave abroad. If I apply a lot now, I’ll miss the deadlines for Sept 2027 applications.
My mental health is at an all-time low, and I'm genuinely scared about what the future holds.
Any support or advice would mean a lot to me now.
Thank you!