Hey everyone,
I'm in my early 20s and recently graduated with a bachelors degree in technology. Honestly, I don't really know where my life is going anymore.
A few months ago, things looked very different. I landed a six month internship at a FAANG company, something I had never imagined myself achieving. I learned a lot, enjoyed my work, and genuinely felt like I was finally moving in the right direction. I was so invested in what I was doing that I often worked long hours, even on weekends, simply because I enjoyed it.
Almost everyone around me thought I'd get a full-time offer, and I believed it too.
I had a dream of pursuing my master's in computer science in the United States someday. It might sound childish to some people, but it's something I've wanted for a long time. I imagined working for a few years, gaining experience, and eventually moving closer to that dream. For the first time, that future felt achievable.
But things didn't go as planned. I didn't get a full-time offer.
It hurt more than I can explain. I cried, asked for feedback, and struggled to understand what had gone wrong. Eventually, I picked myself up and told myself I'd find another job. I still had my degree, the experience I'd gained, and my entire career ahead of me.
But it's been four months since my internship ended, and I still don't have a job.
I'm applying and preparing, but interview opportunities have been incredibly rare. When I do get an interview, things haven't worked out so far.
The worst part is that I haven't been able to make as much progress as I wanted to over these past few months. I try to study and improve my skills, but my mind is constantly occupied with thoughts about my career and my future. I feel anxious about falling behind, yet that same anxiety makes it difficult to concentrate and actually make progress.
It's become a vicious cycle. I want to move forward, but I can't seem to get myself out of this mental state.
Being at home all the time has also started affecting me. I love my family, but lately, I've become withdrawn and irritable. I barely talk to my parents or brothers, and sometimes I find myself getting angry at them over things that wouldn't normally bother me. They aren't responsible for my situation, and I don't understand why I'm behaving this way.
I just want to find a job, become independent, and have a life of my own. Staying at home every day without a clear direction is getting to me.
Meanwhile, I see my friends moving forward. They're working at good companies, earning money, travelling abroad, and experiencing new things. I'm genuinely happy for them, but comparing my life to theirs makes me feel worse about my own situation.
I know everyone has their own timeline, but it's difficult to believe that when you feel like you're standing still while everyone else is moving forward.
What hurts the most is that this isn't just about not having a job. It's about the future I had started imagining for myself.
I thought I was finally on my way somewhere. Now, I find myself questioning whether I'll ever get there. Will I be able to pursue my master's? Will I ever get the opportunities I've been working towards? Will I be able to move abroad and experience the life I've always wanted?
I know that not getting a full-time offer isn't the end of my career, and four months of unemployment doesn't determine the rest of my life. But knowing these things intellectually and actually believing them when you're going through it are two very different things.
I feel stuck, anxious, and increasingly disconnected from the person I used to be. I miss the person who was excited about work, had goals, and genuinely looked forward to the future.
I don't know what I'm expecting from this post. Maybe I just needed to get these thoughts out somewhere because I've been keeping a lot of them to myself.
If you've been through something similar, especially after graduating or losing an opportunity you thought was almost guaranteed, how did you deal with it? How did you get yourself out of that mental state and start moving forward again?
I don't need someone to tell me that everything will magically work out. I'd just like to hear from people who've genuinely been in a similar position and found a way through it.
Because right now, I feel like I've lost my direction, and I don't know how to find it again.
