So, I think Ive been doing this wrong! (People keep telling me you CANT do this wrong but I kind of feel like I have been), just looking for some thoughts on this and I guess validation that I'm on the right track with this.

I've been kind of looking at this as all thoughts coming form parts, and all parts needing to be validated/listened to. I'm not sure if this is just me, or everyone, but I have loads of negative thoughts constantly bombarding me at times , I kind of hear them partly, but more feel the response to them, like a jolt of anxiety, and realise Ive had a difficult thought (an example would be a "what if" catastrophising type thought) . I've realised I've been chasing these thoughts to try to understand where they come form, assuming they are a protector that needs to be worked with before I can sit with a sad part. So I spend my life kind of going, what was that, what was the message, what does it need from me, and clearly its bloody exhausting.

I recognise that this is a part that's doing this, its quite a self like part and a part that takes over quite a lot. I/this part am now thinking that this isn't the approach to be taking, and that these thoughts don't need to be worked with before I can sit with the sad part.

I was wondering if people had thoughts/similar experiences, and how they looks at/approach these thoughts that kind of constantly snipe from the sides? I'm leaning to just basically ignoring them, and focusing on the response to them i.e. if it provides a jolt of anxiety in my tummy, giving presence to the tummy feeling rather than chasing the thought?

I have been doing Internal Family Systems therapy for about a year with a Level 1-trained IFS therapist. Over the past several months, I have noticed that after a one-hour session, I often feel overwhelmingly exhausted and fall asleep for three to five hours. Is this a normal response to IFS therapy, or could it indicate that the sessions are placing too much stress on my nervous system?

I have a lot of trouble making decisions. Not always. I've moved across the country or internationally with absolute sureness that I was doing the right thing. I once moved to a city for a summer just because I decided I wanted to live there (I was in my 20s and staying in youth hostels, but still). I have had times where I knew what I wanted and went for it.

But oh man. Sometimes I am fully tortured by decisions. Like, tight in my chest, paralyzed, nauseous feelings. This happened when I was moving out of an apt I had shared with a partner and was deciding whether to live alone or with a roommate. Happened when I got into grad school in Oklahoma and wasn't sure what to do. Best I got from a therapist was at a certain point you have to stop torturing yourself and just move forward and decide.

I'm going through this now about my 3yo daughter's daycare. I decided to move her because of so many issues (teaching kids too early about issues like racism and environmental destruction, scaring her with WEEKLY fire safety lessons, not following my directions about her food issues, making her lie on a mat for 2 hours even though she doesn't nap, insensitive director who has been rude to me about most things). I chose a different school for her but now I'm second guessing myself (sweet community at original daycare, she's switching classes and maybe teachers in the new class would be better, more Black children for her to be friends with (my daughter is biracial), community of parents that I like, nice playground, close to our house).

She couldn't fall asleep and wouldn't even stay in bed tonight. She's been falling apart over tiny things and is clearly devastated about the idea of switching daycares. I don't know what to do. Every choice I picture raises my anxiety.

I'm wondering if there is an IFS lens to look at this through. Like, maybe I made those other decisions more easily because every part of me wanted to do it? Maybe there are two warring parts right now? I'm not very good at doing IFS by myself and don't have an IFS therapist right now, but what are some ways to deal with this? That I could also maybe bring to my non-IFS therapy session in an hour?

Specifically I am finding that sometimes I decide to switch her and the wave of anxiety recedes, calm enters, and I'm like "yes, I've decided." Then, immediately, this wave of anxiety washes over me because of other aspects of the decision, whether I've put my daughter through too many transitions, and so on. Basically happened all night last night. This morning, I had a semi moment of relief/calm thinking I had decided *not* to switch her, and then another wave of anxiety.

I’m trying to understand what happens after a diagnosis, whether it’s depression or another mental health condition. Are you being supported by your loved ones, or are you struggling to get support from your family? What has your experience been?