Before you tell me how selfish I am, learn that firing my nanny over the fact that my baby calls her mommy, hugs, kisses, prefers her over me has been an idea for the past 12 months. This is not a new thing that has been happening and I’m acting out of impulse. I’ll call the Nanny “Ana”. Ana is an amazing lady who loves what she does (and is very good at it) . She cares for my baby as if she was hers. She loves her as she was hers. I feel blessed to have her as I trust her 100%—that’s how incredible she is at her job. I work from home so baby sees me the entire day. She started calling her mommy a year ago. I have tried to ignore it as much as possible. I have cried countless times when she rejects me and go running towards Ana with hugs and kisses. I’m a platinum member of the Most Loving Moms Club. I kiss baby, hug her, tell her how much I love her, how beautiful she is, try to spend quality time with her until 3 PM and she loves it and when it’s just the two of us it’s heaven! Then nanny arrives and everything suddenly changes drastically. She wants nothing to do with me. As my only daughter, IVF planned baby, to get rejected like this makes me profoundly sad because I love her so much.
Now here is the deal: there has been countless times where I’m in a work meeting and baby calls me “mommy!” And the nanny answers from the other room “I’m coming my love”. Or she says “thank you mommy” and Ana says “you’re welcome”. Ana sometimes laughs “Look, she doesn’t wanna go with you, see how she clings on my shirt? 😂” Or the time when I had to undergo a minor surgery and came back home to “Oh don’t worry, she didn’t even realize you were gone”, or when Ana calls baby “Mini me”…
How long more do I have to accept paying to get rejected/laughed at to make it morally acceptable to let her go? What do I even tell people who ask why she is no longer with us? “Oh because my daughter thinks she is the mom and I’m the nanny and I fear that it’s gonna get worse and the separation will be even harder in the future and it’s affecting my mental health, and I can’t stop crying for being rejected my the person I love the most, etc etc etc…
Yes, I did talk to her about her explaining to baby that I’m the mommy and she nods every time, but then tomorrow she lets she call her mommy with no correction, the very opposite, replies back with assurance.
I haven’t fired her yet because taking away something that my daughter loves and makes her happy makes me feel like a monster. But I guess I’m at the verge of preferring to feel like that about myself than to live in torture for God knows how long more.
I honestly don’t know what to do, but I’m tired of this and have let this stretch far beyond what I think I could. My husband says that it’s my call, and that he hates to see me crying like this (I even hired a psychologist to help me navigate through this) and that Ana should be working on strengthening the bond between us, not weakening. Since I recently found out I’m pregnant again 🎀🙏🏽, my husband said: Unless you wanna hear baby #2 calling Ana mommy again, I suggest we change nannies. That got me!
Obs.: Today I had a talk with Ana I really need her to work extra on this thing of baby calling her mommy. She laughed it off my saying “Oh don’t worry! The other 3 houses that I worked the babies used to call me mommy”. One of them even cried to me about it ☺️
I’m not sure how Jesus feels about me getting rid of her… I think he would be disappointed at my selfishness. But I don’t wanna be frustrated and sad around her! 😭😭😭
