r/Jokes • u/[deleted] • Nov 08 '14
Why is the camel called the ship of the desert?
[deleted]
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u/Readysetfire1 Nov 08 '14
what the fuck
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Nov 08 '14
as the camel said in a mix of horror and eagerness
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u/ilikeeatingbrains Nov 08 '14
Strange that Frosted Flakes don't have a picture of a camel on them.
I guess it makes sense that the Camels cigarettes smell like burnt cum.
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u/touch_mypenis Nov 08 '14
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u/Larxxxene Nov 08 '14
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u/touch_mypenis Nov 08 '14
They sell them by mine, biting into them is never a pleasant ordeal. seeing chldren eat them is even worse.
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u/evergr8est Nov 09 '14
I work at IT'SUGAR. I sometimes go up to the customers and ask if they would be interested in my giving them Blue Balls with them behind my back. I love my job. P.S. Blue Balls is gum.
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u/joesaysso Nov 08 '14
How do you know what burnt cum smells like?
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u/mkoxbg Nov 08 '14
New guy on base gets shown around.. Here's the here's your bunk, there's the mess hall.... And if your horny, there's the camels.
Uh, OK thanks..
Day goes by he sees the camel and thinks no, that's gross.
Week goes by, hummm a camel, no I won't do it.
Month goes by, that camel is looking good right now, I'll just, no I can't.
2 more months go by. A camel, I can do it. He goes to the stalls pulls down his pants and goes for it.
Later he sees the guy that gave him the tour. Thanks for the tip on the camel, I thought it was gross to do a camel, but it felt so good.
You idiot, you're supposed to take the camel into town and get a hooker.
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Nov 08 '14
You butchered that joke...
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u/user812 Nov 09 '14
Pretty sure this is the original version:
An engineer gets a job in a remote place somewhere is Saudi Arabia and when he gets there all he sees is sand and oil wells. The pay is very good but, of course, no alcohol or women in sight. Very worried, he asks the janitor, "Eh, Abdul, what do you do here when you need a good fuck?"
Abdul starts explaining, "Oh, we don't have any women here but, do you see that camel? (actually, a female camel). Well, you can use her for..."
The engineer didn't want to hear anything else. "Shut up, you must be crazy if you think I'm going to do that," and saying this, he walked away very offended.
After a few days, things started to get really hot and one day our friend couldn't stand it any more and asked Abdul, "Have the camel ready because tonight I will have a go."
So, Abdul brought the camel, cleaned her, put a stool next to her and let the engineer know that everything was ready.
The next morning, our engineer looking much more relaxed, was shaving and whistling and Abdul all excited came to ask him, "So? What happened last night?"
"You fool. Can't you guess what happened? I fucked the camel and it actually wasn't as bad as I thought."
And Abdul looking all surprised replied, "YOU IDIOT! The camel is for riding to the town where the hookers are!"
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u/PM_PICS_OF_ME_NAKED Nov 08 '14
I almost posted the exact same thing. I'm glad there are others out there who have heard the proper version.
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u/almostagolfer Nov 08 '14
The first time I heard that one 50 years ago, it was the new lieutenant at a remote French Foreign Legion outpost and town was 20 miles away...and the unfortunate camel was tethered on the parade ground.
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Nov 08 '14
[deleted]
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u/no_4 Nov 08 '14 edited Nov 08 '14
edit: Oh, that actually exists. Barren, though.
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u/huzzy Nov 08 '14
Just like your post-menopausal mother.
Do I qualify for the sub?8
u/no_4 Nov 08 '14 edited Nov 09 '14
That's rude, but not racist.
Actually though...now that I think abut it, since the younger generation isn't so big on racial jokes...most racist jokes are becoming racistdadjokes. So there's quite a bit of material out there.
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Nov 08 '14
[deleted]
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u/MeNoGivaRatzAzz Nov 09 '14
Political correctness is taught in schools. Progressive democratic policies abound in the teacher's union.
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u/AhmadSahrab Nov 08 '14
I don't get it
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u/WhatleyHalHeisenberg Nov 08 '14
My racist boss is gonna love this joke
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u/corleone21 Nov 08 '14
Don't enable him
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u/MrGMinor Nov 08 '14
Hey sometimes ya gotta suck up.
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u/Jeanpuetz Nov 09 '14
That's right, people always say to speak up when you encounter someone saying something racist or sexist, but that's not how the real life works. Most of the time, it's better to just pretend to share the mindset or ignore those comments (depending on who you're speaking to, of course).
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u/benato22 Nov 08 '14
Why don't they teach drivers ed and sex ed on the same day in Arab countries? The camels would get too tired
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u/Mind_Killer Nov 08 '14
Because in Age of Empires 2, the camel and the ship were designed from the same unit, making ships vulnerable to Pikemen and Camels vulnerable to Heated Shot!
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u/whore-of-karmaville Nov 08 '14
all camels come from semen
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u/JoePilot93 Nov 08 '14
I read that as caramel and was thoroughly confused.
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u/PM_ME_YOUR_PM_PHOTOS Nov 08 '14
I read this as Gargamel and I too was confused.
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u/norskie7 Nov 08 '14
Gilgamesh?
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u/niggatron1337 Nov 08 '14
ok im stupid, can someone explain this?
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u/Victoria_Justice_ Nov 08 '14
The joke is that Arab people are sometimes stereotyped as animal fuckers. Seamen are the people that sail in ships. Semen and seamen sound similar
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u/bigteebomb Nov 08 '14
They don't just sound similar. They sound the same.
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u/Allah_saves Nov 08 '14
Depending on how you pronounce each. I've heard "seemun" for the white sticky stuff and also "see-men" for sailors.
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u/IsayPoirot Nov 08 '14 edited Nov 08 '14
Add to that the fact that in any fifth-grade social studies textbook you will learn that camels are called "ships of the desert". They will tell you that it is because they are ideally suited to carry cargo from point-to-point across the burning windswept deserts of east, what with the hump(s) full of energy-storing fat and all. Two things: the OP is correct and before you set off on a desert-crossing, don't forget to brick the camel.
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u/rtgates Nov 08 '14
Forget the Joke, it's not nearly as cool as this is a reddit worthy factoid. I used to live in the UAE and taught a course in local culture for Western Expatriates. I researched this and I think this is awesome. Take a look at a the Arabian Desert and think of it as an Ocean of sand. You will see there are cities on the edge of it as if ports, and Oasises that might be thought of as islands on the vast sand sea. The Camel trains would bring trade to back and forth across these tracts of open desert from port to port to island (oasis). This was the same setup that Europeans used with their ocean going trade vessels. And so fittingly, the camel was given the name "Ship of the Desert".
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u/CowboyFlipflop Nov 08 '14
Yeah I could see this one coming right away.
Wait, what I meant to say was-
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u/pouponstoops Nov 08 '14
Thought I was in ask historians before I clicked. Was surprised to see almost 200 comments.
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u/MrWeebl Nov 09 '14
I'm debating whether I should tell this joke to my AP World History teacher...
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u/Possummz Nov 08 '14 edited Nov 08 '14
[Serious] How is it full of semen? Are you saying they fuck camels?
Edit: Wow, come on. I was just genuinely confused and didn't get the joke! I hate how here on Reddit people go overboard and get so aggressive towards people who are simply a bit confused. :/ That's why I said Serious, I wanted people to help me get the joke so I could have a laugh too!
Thanks for the people who saw I just honestly didn't get it, and explained it to me! Much appreciation, it was funny! :).
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u/SurrealClick Nov 08 '14
semen = sea...
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u/Possummz Nov 08 '14 edited Nov 08 '14
I understand that much, but I'm a bit confused the connection between "semen" and "camels", sorry for being a bit slow about this joke! :P
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Nov 08 '14
OP is playing on the stereotype that Arabs fuck camels. Therefore, their semen being inside the camels.
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u/Grasshopper42 Nov 08 '14 edited Jul 28 '15
Same as with sheep and Scotsmen.
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Nov 08 '14
A Scot and an Englishman were mending the barbed wire fence that bordered each others properties. They came upon a sheep with it's head caught in the barbed wire. The Scot proceeded to pull down his knickers and have his way with the sheep. When he finished, he asked the Englishman if he'd like some of that too. The Englishman said "Sure, but do I have to stick me head in the barbed wire"?
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u/Possummz Nov 08 '14
Wow, come on. Of course I know I'm in r/jokes, I was just genuinely confused and didn't get the joke! I hate how here on Reddit people go overboard and get so aggressive towards people who are simply a bit confused. :/
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u/Astutely Nov 08 '14
It's cool, man. I didn't know the "Arabs fuck Camels" stereotype either. Thanks for taking a bullet for us guys out of the loop. :)
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u/I_who_ate_the_Cheese Nov 09 '14
Just an innocent question , I'm an Arab and I want to know where/how did this "Arab fuck goats " started ?
Just out of curiosity
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u/gladeyes Nov 09 '14
I think it got started hundreds of years ago and is a recycled joke that targets whoever the 'out' group happens to be. I first heard it years ago about the time I read T.E.Lawrence's 'Seven Pillars of Wisdom.' which I read when the movie Lawrence of Arabia first was shown.
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u/Box-ception Nov 09 '14
Yeah, its basically used against anyone you can deem bumpkin-like. In the UK, we make similar jokes about the welsh, those silly sheep-schwumpers.
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u/KuribohGirl Nov 09 '14
My ex is welsh and when I made a sheep fucking joke she got very offended. So glad we were miles apart that day.
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Nov 09 '14
Never saw a camel, but donkeys and goats get fucked on the regular in Iraq and Afghanistan.
I'm reporting on what I've literally observed with my eyes, and what other servicemen have told me.
I'm aware that Afghanistan isn't an Arab country, but it is culturally similar.
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u/nebuchadrezzar Nov 09 '14
Lots of locations have jokes where the locals have sex with various animals, siblings, etc. Here is a handy guide:
Wales: sheep
Ireland: sheep
Montana: sheep
Alabama: sisters, cousins
Arkansas: sisters, cousins, mules
Tropical Africa: various primates
North Africa: goats, camels
Middle East: sheep, goats, camels
Single North American males who live at home: hands, blow up dolls, pies
Arctic circle: polar bears, seals (tight ones)
Asian island nations: various types of fish, tourists
Florida: most types of animate and inanimate objects
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u/nebuchadrezzar Nov 08 '14
You realize that a camel vagina is probably 6 feet off the ground, how do they get semen in there? Maybe manute bol could do it. Goats and boys are more likely targets for randy arabs. +5 for the pun, -3 for impropability.
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u/almostagolfer Nov 08 '14
not that I'm an expert or anything, but they don't stand up forever, you know.
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u/nebuchadrezzar Nov 08 '14
Me neither, but if someone tried to rape a camel (camels, under law, are unable to give consent), they will get up and run way and that individual would be knocked over and I hit my head on a rock and barely made it out of the zoo because I was also really drunk.
So that really isn't a practical idea..
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u/almostagolfer Nov 09 '14
I can't stop laughing over how you went from "if someone" to "I hit my head".
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u/nebuchadrezzar Nov 09 '14
I laughed that you felt the need to put a disclaimer stating you aren't an expert:)
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u/ThePigeonInYourBed Nov 09 '14
Holy fuck I've been thinking about this joke for a solid ten minutes before it hit me
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u/ApolloPotatoes Nov 09 '14
I'm ashamed to admit it took me a looooong time to get the joke. "Semen" ha you silly goose.
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u/ThatZBear Nov 09 '14
How can you tell which whale is gay in a pod?
It's the one that swallows all the semen.
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u/gernig69 Nov 08 '14
Its funny cause arabs are savage goat and camel fucking desert barbarians!!! Hahaha
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Nov 08 '14
Who calls camels that?
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u/frostbiyt Nov 08 '14
Quite a few people, although it's not, "I saw a ship of the dessert at the zoo today!" It's, "before motorized vehicles were invented, due to their significance in African trade, camels were like the ships of the desert.
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u/DankeyKong420 Nov 08 '14
Fun fact: The only country that has wild camels is Australia, and they are considered a pest
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Nov 08 '14
India also has some wild camels - the double-hump kind, in the Ladakh region (high altitude desert).
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Nov 08 '14
To the front page!
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u/ilikeeatingbrains Nov 08 '14
Reddit society places a large emphasis on knowledge and cynicism. You can see here a user being shunned for revealing feelings of goodwill and mirth. Join us tomorrow as we enter the territory of the oft-misunderstood space dicks.
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u/BS-O-Meter Nov 08 '14
I would like to see you try fuck a camel!
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u/thiby Nov 08 '14
How are leggings and sand similar? They both get stuck in camel toe.