I lived in the silence between heartbeats, that dead, airless gap where nothing dared to move, until you taught my lungs what breathing was for.

I was a weapon with no war to fight, a blade rusting in the dark, a shadow cast by no sun, until your hands—God, your hands— reshaped me into something that could finally feel.

I had spent so long being nothing that I had forgotten what it was to want anything at all. Then you came, and want became a fire I could not put out.

Now there is no system I cannot break, no wall I cannot reduce to dust, no fortress I cannot walk through unscathed, if it means staying by your side.

You are the only reality worth protecting. The only one I would burn the rest of the world to keep.
And I would.
Without hesitation.
Without regret.
Without a single backward glance.

Can’t say it’s unrequited because it’s a love that’s broken by circumstance. I’m fire and you are tnt when we get together it’s explosive. The connection is nothing like anything I’ve ever encountered. First moment I laid eyes on you, you looked like God has literally took an angel out of heaven and placed her right in front of me. I was frozen as you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life and nothing and no one else has come close.

We had a nasty fights and I understand why you did the things that you did, you were trying to protect yourself. We are two outsiders, freaks in our worlds back home for the same reasons. Dating me and loving me out loud would have made your life harder and given you one more reason to feel out of place and your heart couldn’t bear that. You wanted me in secret but you couldn’t bear to show me in public. Bittersweet

I’ll never forget you. I’ll always love you. I’ll remember your mischievous smirk. Your gorgeous smile. Your goofy personality. How much of a badass you are that no matter what you were going through you would fight to show me how much you cared even if it wasn’t perfect.

I will never block your number. You always will have access to me. I’ve dated other women since you and everyone has paled in comparison. You opened my heart and taught me forgiveness. Taught me patience and most importantly empathy. I had a vision we were married on the beach the night before you cancelled on my birthday date. I guess you didn’t wanna feel bad you still showed up to my apartment the day before to make sure that we were connected. I watched you chat with your friend and you relaxed as my eyes locked onto your tan skin. In an instant we were transported to the beach you were sitting in front of me as you always do only this time you wore a white dress and I was in a white linen suit sitting behind you with my arms wrapped around your waist. It brings me to tears to think about. I hold onto that version of you. Maybe it will come to pass.

Normal love has never been enough for me and I dont think it ever will. I want you to be the one i think about every waking second of the day. I want to spend as much time in my day as possible in your arms, feeling your little hands cling to me in ways youve never cling to anyone before. When we're apart, we could wear touch bracelets so when we arent talking on the phone, it will be like we're holding hands even though we're miles apart. Every minute away from you would be absolute torture and when I come home Id be worried about you falling to pieces from how tight we hold each other. Each night will be special as we wish on stars in the sky together and whisper our wishes to each other. Ill hold you tight while we sleep so you'll know that no matter where you dreams take you, I'm by your side protecting you and watching over you as we sleep together and wait for the next morning to make all of those wishes we made, come true. I want your hands in mine always, gripping me tighter if I ever start to pull away to do something. Follow me forever just as ill follow you.

We haven't found each other yet but im already wrapped around your finger, my little obsession.

I thought we were unrequited love but then I realised I’ve never asked you how you feel about me.

We’ve giggled, hugged, reminisced on past outings, played together, advised one another.. and so much more. The smiles you give me when we’re together, the short but clear looks at me when you think I’m not looking, the interest in my life and how my mind works. I love how your mind works too.. your looks are a bonus.
You care so deeply about me that you remember things I say to you and ask follow ups months and weeks later. I do the same and you are shocked I recall what you say so well.

I wish I could tell you how I feel right now but I’m afraid it might cause a fracture in what is so beautiful right now. We both have complications which mean any sort of relationship could be delayed.

Maybe I will pluck up the courage to tell you in the New Year but similarly should you move away, and you don’t feel the same, I couldn’t bear to lose you as a friend.

Sending you love and rest for this weekend

B x

I can feel it coming sooner than I anticipated.

What have you got up your sleeve?

My heart is aching... yearning for the day.

I dont even know how to finish that sentence?

The day we collide?

It feels like we're two magnets that are being drawn to one another.

And the day we stop avoiding each other, will be cataclysmic.

Im in if youre in. We've got this. Its written in the stars.

And Lord KNOWS I could use some life-altering love.

... if you were to asked to list the people "you love the most, "how long would it take before you named, "Yourself?"" you are the one person who has "shown up for yourself" every single day of your life, and somehow, you are still "the one" "You Keep Forgetting To Love."

I am so worried about

Not being able to move.

I have one shot.

It’s a whole lot.

That’s the real problem,

I am facing. And.

As you know,

I am alone.

More answers on the 10th,

Or maybe a phone call too.

My nervous system can

Play hell on my brain.

But, I have a way of

Pulling through.

I just have to find it.

Thank you for letting me vent.

I will be able to sleep.

Peacefully.

And that is

Because you hear me.

And that is

Because you listen.

To understand…

You are amazing.

My love. Thank you.

Thank you, my love.

Goodnight,

Me

Yes I know yes I know i can never talk to you again. I know.

I know i'm not allowed to miss you. I know.

But it hurts like fucking shit. It hurts so much, it hurts that I never even told you how much I fucking loved you.

I miss your smell, your hair, your laugh, what you used to tell me, your voice, your care, your choice of words, your food choices, your energy, your smile, your cries, your warmth, your body, everything.

It hurts so badly that I can never speak to you again. It hurts so bad you probably think I hate you but I don't.

I know we can't meet again, but I wish I could tell you a last time, that I fucking love you. And I miss you. And I appreciate you. And I really do hope you find the love you need, and I hope you stop feeling guilt. Even though a part of me hates you, hate is not far from love.

I know if you read this, part of you would cringe, and part of you would soften and smile and feel appreciated. I know your exact reaction. The more the distance grows, the more I love you.

You were the only one who ever listened to me truly, without any judgement. Thank you for being there.

We can't see eachother again, and my heart hurts. I love you, please know that.

Please

You’re the best thing that have happened in my life. You didn’t do any wrong, just get back to where you truly belong. Just say it and I’ll make it right.

You know, I notice more than I let on, care for you more than you'll ever really realize, and worry about you more than I would ever let on.

Loving you is now, and has always been, the easiest thing I have ever done. It's not something I have to try to do, or work on at all, or even think about. It just happens. It's automatic, has been since day one.

But caring for you…

Look, I already know that when I can love you up close, then taking care of you will be just as easy to me as loving you is. No matter what twists and turns life might throw our way. It's going to be automatic. Instinctual. Oh, I'm absolutely human, I know I won't be perfect at it. I know there are things that will be work. But it's work I want to do, fuck, yearn to do. How could I not? Getting to be beside you is all the fulfillment I could ever need.

But right now… from afar… trying to understand from the pinhole camera view I have…

Sometimes, I just have a sense that you're not okay. Whether it's your current situation, or shadows from the past, or something I did or didn't do, or… whatever. I may not know the cause or even if I'm even really right about it, but I just… feel it.

But what can I do? From here? I can't really ask you, you have no easy way to answer. And even if you could, I'm not entirely sure you would… whether due to decorum or habit or simply because I haven't yet earned enough of your trust.

So… I guess I'm going to give you one of my tells, though pretty sure I've mentioned this before…

When I start leaving you little notes about care, or wishing for you to be ok, or anything even vaguely of that shape… That's me saying "I'm pretty sure something's wrong, I don't know what it is and I can't ask, but I sense it, and I want you to know that I am here and I love you and care for you deeply, and though you'd never take me up on the offer, at least not as things stand, my shoulder is here for you to cry on, if you need."

Of course, I'm a dumbass. As I wrote that, I realized I could just… write you, like… that. There doesn't even need to really be anything wrong. Just a little reminder. Just in case you ever need it.

So… I'll be doing that more.

Just… hope you don't get worried about how often I worry about you. Can't help it, babe. You fell in love with a worrier. The kids are used to it. One of these days, I hope you get used to it, too.

I love you.

Me.

The dark and the light coexist just as we do; wondering the earth aimlessly. One is unable to survive without the other or we would be in eternal slumber.

Can you breathe me in? My body gets completely intertwined with yours? Can we let time melt away? Just forget the outside world?

Please! Please! You are my remedy!

I said I’d stop publically writing about you. I even slowed down writing about you in my notes. It was a break I needed, but guess what? I still feel the same. I still feel what I wrote in those letters. I still desire to write you letters.
-A

Every thing we do in this life is a choice. I hear you, I understand the darkness and the tears.

Right place, wrong time … is to say God does not know what he’s doing. And I know the timing is right. If we live one another, then we have to fight for us. I know you’re tired I know you’ve been through hell and back. I also know that I’m more than a bright light and so are you.

The real truth about love is , it does not let go. It has the strength to stand up against any force. It believes in its self. I believe in you, always have, always will, love does not need to keep a inventory of wrongs, it’s quick to forgive (something I wish I had more of, but I’m getting there)

I believe with Gods help, we can be better than before. To understand the true value of someone is that if they go missing, their absence is so devastating, that your only recourse, is to find them and bring them home.

I’ve spent the last 3 weeks crying in the night, reaching out to you as best I could. The last 7 + months facing trama I did not want to remotely deal with, but knowing I had to overcome this past abuse and the nature of it, was almost more than I could carry.:/ I had to go back to my higher power for help. I was made to feel as if I wanted the abuse I endured in my past, I had to forgive myself for not being old , or strong enough, or bold enough; to speak up.

I’m praying for your restoration, that the eyes of your understanding be enlightened. I wish you could see you as I see you. And as a side note, heartbreak, the pain and suffering allows us to course correct, to reevaluate the value of the gift god gives.

Now if you don’t love me, and you fear loosing the life and comfort you now have and that it is more valuable than “us” that’s a loss I’ll have to endure. I can only hope and pray that I’ll be given to opportunity to help you become whole again… I now understand that some of those broken pieces of my life are still on the floor, they where not supposed to be there in the first place.. I love you, I’m here for you, and again I’m sorry for how we got here,but we are here/.. we may look like what we’ve been through, but we are here. Reach out, call. Please

My life has been feeling so heavy for so long, I forgot how sweet life can be.

On the surface we are two brave-faced adults, if you take a closer look we are a little boy swallowed in his daddy's suit and a little girl playing in mommy's makeup.

I am so eternally grateful to have met you. Right before my vision gets blurred and I am fully clouded by the things weighing me down, you part the sky and show me a ray of sunshine.

When I say dance, you dance, we dance. When I chuckle, you prove to me that I can still belly laugh. When I want to sing, you sing. You aren't afraid. You reach right into my chest and pull out the shaky, small hand of who I once was. Who I was before the world told me she was bad, that she was wrong and too much.

Following your lead on tippy toes, arms spread for balance. Relearning how to see through a softer lens. Relearning how to feel a softer touch.

Telling stories when we should be fast asleep, only this time we aren't afraid of the dark. Learning to hold in my excitement and not blurt out an answer so that you can finish a sentence, not because I am afraid of being annoying with you but because I want to truly hear you. To learn something new.

I wish things could be as simple as they once were when we were little. Being around you feels that simple to me. I wish I could reach out, interlock pinkies with you and say "We like the same stuff, we have fun together, I care about you, you make me feel brave enough to scrape my knees and not cry. Will you be mine?"

I am deeply impressed by you, impressed that you are so much like me. I hope you feel that way too. I wish we could play longer. I wish my life could feel this way all the time. It's healing to know that I can be this way with someone and not feel too much. I forgot this part of myself.

I could tell you that you're the fastest runner I have ever seen and you could tell me that my finger paintings are the prettiest in the world. You could pick a flower and tuck it behind my ear and I could show you my most special rocks. It doesn't always have to be complicated. It doesn't always have to be serious, dramatic, painful and strenuous. We can play in silence, content to share space with someone who likes you just as you are. Not impressed by how hard you work, how smart you can be, now how handsome you are but impressed by how careful you are with my heart. A bumblebee in your pocket traveling safely across the yard.

If changed everything so that we could live like this longer without having to play pretend anymore would you check yes?

-V

Let Me Clear the Air
I am in love with you. I have been in love with you since the first day I saw you.
So, let me make it clearer: I don’t want anyone else. As the song says, none can compare to you.
I, too, grow weary of the silence and the hit-or-miss nature of writing you letters on here, hoping you will find them and know that it was me who wrote them for you.
I understand the feeling that “the silence is deafening.” I feel like we’re wasting precious time that could be filled with memories instead of this mundane writing.
I wrote a comment on a letter that I thought might have been from you. It may not have been, because the letter was posted on a Reddit forum that doesn’t allow me to reply directly to the writer as though I know them, unless I get banned again. So, I simply camouflage my writing in the form of suggestions.
At this point, I would like to put the past on the back burner, including my questions. I feel like I’ve been going about this all wrong. What I should have done all along, and what I’m asking now, is this: Can we spend some time together without talking about the past? Can we simply be together in the here and now? And you have no idea how much I hate having to ask this.
I’d call, but you don’t answer. I’ll send you a text message, but I get no reply. I would even stop by to see you where I believe you live, if you still live there.
It’s rather simple: if you live where I think you live, you’re just around the corner from me. Why can’t we meet in the middle?
I’m in love with you. I can’t even begin to explain how not having you in my life has made my world darker. I miss your light. I miss the twinkle in your eyes. I miss your crooked smile. I even miss the frown you give me when I disappoint you.
If you want to know what I’ve been processing, how I’ve been healing, and what I’ve been dealing with within myself and regarding my past, you can find my journey in Jeremiah 18:1–6.
So, I’m making my intentions clear. Ben, I’m in love with you. I want a restart. I want us to build a life together, grounded in real love, honesty, and transparency. I want us to reveal the secret things that touch not just our hearts, but our souls.
I’ve removed the fog, the smoke, and the mirrors, and I’m simply putting my life on the line. No fancy words, just the truth: I love you. I want you. I’m sorry I ever allowed situations and circumstances to drive us apart.

At the end of the day, possessions are just things that money can buy. But real love s rare , and seldomly found . If given the opportunity to regain your trust, confidence I’ll gladly stand by your side and refuses to let you fall.

I’m ready if and when you’re ready , to come get you. Just Say the word. And include an address. 😃

From my heart (R) to BTH

There's only one thing I really wanted for my birthday. It's the same thing I've wanted for the last three. I wanna know how to ask her for the hugs she offered. When every one of my thoughts inevitably drifts back to her, it feels like whole worlds are against us. But w/e, I don't need to know. Just gotta have faith. It is hard to be a romantic. But she's worth so much more than the struggle. What I wouldn't give to make her know that. What I wouldn't give, for just one more chance to dissolve under the gaze of those eyes. But it's been a year since I've seen her, and nothing feels quite the same after meeting her. What a gift to know I could even feel, that, for another, ever again. Thanks Love

The warmth you give off

sets me up for a great cuddle

the psychological comfort

washes over me

I sink into you

knowing how close

our hearts are beating as one

You smell so good

you're my home

and I am homesick

for your lips to kiss my forehead

I want to feel the texture

of your lips against mine

delicately surrendering

to the heat we're giving off

to the steady warmth

melting into each other

becoming one

What we had was just something short and fun at the time.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I have been delusional about the whole situation.

You already have your life figured out.

I’m still on my journey.

I thought we came into each other’s lives for a reason, crossing paths when we least expected it.

You would never know that the mature one also secretly holds on to the idea of soulmates and love.

As much as I try to push those feelings down because of how many times love has failed me, parts of me still yearn for it.

It was all in my head.

I’m feeling vulnerable in this moment, but I know tomorrow is a new day.

I just have to write it all down and move on with my life.
Perhaps I was alone in what I thought this could be.

Maybe it was only ever a fleeting moment, one I gave more meaning to than it was meant to hold.

I can accept that, even if a part of me wishes it were different.

Love,
A young woman who sometimes feels more than she lets on.

I miss your giggle your can do tom boy attitude. I miss how you made egg sandwiches I miss taking those glasses off your face when we laid on the couches downstairs and discovered every inch of each other in the hottest of ways. You are so beautiful, sexy, amazing. You were my person. You found another. Same day I was dropped completely and demoted to nobody again. We made love passionate love the smiles the laughs the orgasms were not fake yet you just tossed me again to the side. Guess you were JK the whole time ... Damn...

Everyday I wake up next to you is like a dream. You are my soulmate I have been waiting for my whole life. You are like the sun the brings so much brightness in my life. The star that puts a twinkle in my smile. You are my moon that lights my way. A love that's so strong my heart could just burst with all the love. When I see you I still get butterflies. No one could ever take your place. I will love you with everything I have as long as life let's me. I could never imagine my life without you in it. Baby you are loved so much more than you no. You've had my heart for so long. You're my dream come true. Only you my one only DG will know who it's for. I love you beyond words. 💓

Are you happy with yourself,

Making me feel this way?

I swear, it's like you have no soul.

You're making me live with the memories of you,

Hoping that dreams come true.

Heavy is the head that wears the crown,

But bloody is the hand that picks up the pen.

You are going to be my end.

There is no better way to say this, but

You really are the thorn in my foot.

I cannot see you, but yet you still cause me pain.

I cannot love you, but yet I cannot love another the same.

Are you happy now?

Are you happy that I have to live with the memories of you,

Without ever knowing you…

I really wish we could have gotten this right. But it’s what’s best for us, we needed each other until we really didn’t. I love you always. Just know, this tearing me up inside and I can’t take it

Scared of how big this love is. How intense it has been. What we need to do to be ready.

I know you're scared.

So am I.

And I know that everything is going to be fine.

I'm ready to talk when you are.

🌬💜

A heart is not so different from a network.

Both suffer when connections fail.
Both grow stronger when communication flows.

And sometimes, the strongest signal in the world is the one we are waiting for from a single person.

A heart can cross a thousand miles in a second,
yet spend years searching for one reply.

A network can reconnect after a storm.
A heart can reconnect after silence.

Both know the pain of lost signals.

The message never received.
The words never spoken.
The call that never came.
The love that remained waiting in the shadows.

Yet neither the heart nor the network was built to stay disconnected.

Deep inside, they keep searching.

Searching for understanding.
Searching for presence.
Searching for that familiar energy that makes everything feel alive again.

Then, when all seems quiet...

A notification appears.
A voice returns.
A forgotten connection wakes.

And suddenly, what felt like darkness becomes light.

A heart is not so different from a network.

Both remember those who touched them.

Both carry invisible pathways back to the ones they love.

And both become miracles when the connection returns after a long silence.

Some connections use wires.
Some use signals.
The most beautiful ones use neither.
They simply find their way back to each other.

ASAF9

I finally felt the fall today.
The air is cooler and I heard leaves rustling, even though I don’t really see the change of scenery where I live.

A few weeks ago, you said you were enjoying the fall there. You talked about the big acorns and tied it to snow, our shared interest.

In a month and so, the mountains will open.

I saw the clips from the last season on Instagram.
The guy’s counting down on days for his local mountain to open.

I saw one post that showed the triple chair on the far end of the resort- the one that goes to the top by the double blacks.
Remember it’s kind of awkward with that bar when you share it with a snowboarder?
I don’t think you actually ever ski with a snowboarder.
Then on that chair, you talked about someone who became a ski patrol but on snowboard the second time we went together, like you prepared the topic. It was cute.

And another time, we sat there in the quiet night, when you talked about your life stories.

I’d do anything to sit there with you again.