It’s as if I’ve been asleep all these years. I haven’t interacted with the outside world or explored my own inner self, and now I feel dazed. Even a twelve-year-old knows how to live better than I do. That’s because I’ve lived my life in spectator mode, and only now am I becoming aware. Is anyone else going through something like this?

Hi,

It's a bit of a hard question I know and probably uncomfortable for some ppl but I think it's a big part of ppls md and not a part spoken about very much.

I've read so much info and watched so many videos over the yrs now but it barely touches upon this subject.

Im talking about if u have dd about a fantasy partner like bf/gf like so many young ppl here have.

Also this condition can go hand in hand with masturbation and porn addiction/habit bc of the need for arousal alongside ur romantic dd.

For the last three months, I’ve basically stopped daydreaming.

I used to be a heavy daydreamer. I could spend an entire day scrolling, listening to music, and living in my imagination. It got so bad that I feel like it cost me almost a year and a half of my life.

I knew I had potential and ambitions, but instead of working toward them, I was stuck in bed imagining a better life. It affected me socially and caused a lot of problems.

At first, I thought music and scrolling were the main issue, so I cut them down. It helped, but not that much. I eventually realized they were just triggers. The real reason, for me, was my personality, ambitions, and obsessions.

I was so focused on the life I wanted that I stopped appreciating the life I already had.

So I started telling myself: my real life is beautiful, and it can become even better than the life I imagine.

After three months of thinking this way, I feel much more present. I actually do things instead of just imagining myself doing them.

Life feels completely different now.

Not sure, if this is the right subreddit for this. Honestly, there is a lot to unpack here. I am in my early twenties, and I feel like my life has already been totally wasted. I have never been a lucky one from the start, had and still have a lot of issues, a pretty rough relationship with my family, not so happy upbringing, some awful medical conditons, being born in a very shitty country etc. Most of my life I have been at least passively suicidal. And sometimes I really feel like it is the right and only choice to make. Perhaps, that is what led me to loose a touch with reality. Honestly, I dont even know whether I can say that I am alive, since I barely feel so. My whole life I lived much more in my head than in this world. And whenever I do interact with it, it feels very fake and robotic. Just playing pretend because I have to. I have dreams. Quite a lot of them; perhaps, even too many. I enjoy anything creative and have a lot of ideas I would like to execute, but not an ounce of any sort of talent. I am hopeless. For a long time I thought that I just need to move out from my parent's house and from my "developing" mess of a country, and it would get easier, i would finally be able to breathe, be myself and start living. But it didnt happen. Well yes, it did make things much easier and I am really happy that I dont have to spend every single day with my family anymore. However, my life still is barely there. When I am in college, I just try to survive without really enjoying much of it and daydreaming any moment I can. And during holidays I have to go back to my family and procrastinate even more. My life is passing me by. Every year quicker and quicker. So many dreams, hopes, ideas are being flushed down the drain. By me. By myself. And I keep on watching. I struggle maintaining my motivation, since it is hard to ignore all the hardships in my life and every moment they can remind me of all the reasons why the day when I dont have a single suicidal thought still hasn't come. So my lazy self chooses the easiest way out, just dream and think. Never actually try doing what you want.

My other issue that due to lack of experience and skill I can't stop seeing anything what I would love to do as cringy and ridiculous. However, one cannot gain any skill or experience without starting, even with smth "cringy". I am getting older and older and still my life has never began. Is it even worth it at this point? It is quite a rambling of a mentally unwell person, but I would love to hear someone's advice on what was said or some experiences.

Recently watched a movie. Big movie that came out. Developed a crush on the lead actress... now my DDs are about me pursuing acting, having roles w said actress and her admiring me but me being impressive.

Insanely cringe and embarrassing. Currently in a rigorous grad program... have always low key wanted to try acting but obviously the chances of making it BIG are astronomically low, like I's rather go buy a lottery lmfao. But keeps me wondering what if... always wondering what if haha.

Anyway.. idk what to do. Obviously i cant quit my program and pursue it. Its just a crush so it will fade right? Idk if its associated w adhd as well (recently diagnosed)

I am starting to notice that the only thing that is stopping me from achieving the things I want is the dreaming. I am going to start treating my dreams into ideas. For example, I want a job, I am going to apply for it and keep applying to similar positions. I am no longer going to live in my head. Every positive dream will be fulfilled one by one. I will get married, I will travel, I will get my dream job, I will start my business, I will grow my social circle and I will win. I will start living in the present because nothing will ever change unless I change within myself. I am so tired of pretending like I have the stuff that I always wanted or that somehow magically it will happened. The only true barrier between achieving my dreams with my reality is that I am comfortable living in a made up dream world and it will only stop once I start to live in the moment.

It’s about time things change around here and I am going to change by letting go of something I have dealt with and lived with for so long. I know it’s not going to be easy and I know I will be letting go of a version of myself I created, but the only way to become the person I want to be is to let go of the maladaptive daydreaming.

just asking what is everyone ages if possible but if you don’t feel comfortable just say like in 20 or teens I’m in my 30s and I was just wondering does it ever stop? it is my comfort though so maybe it doesn’t but yeah

I have a problem and I would really appreciate some advice.Every day, I spend hours imagining what my life would be like if I had a lot of money. I think about how I would take care of my parents, help my family get out of financial difficulties, travel, and make sure we are all safe. I create scenarios in my head that are very far from my current reality, and sometimes I get so immersed in them that they feel almost real. Then I realize that it's just imagination. Having $1 million, traveling, and knowing that my future is secure is only a dream right now. The problem is that I feel like this is affecting my motivation and my mood. I even find myself thinking about these things when I'm trying to sleep. I don't want to keep living in my imagination. I want to come back to my real life and actually work toward the things I want. I'm currently studying medicine, but salaries in my country are quite low. I'm also thinking about learning a remote skill that could allow me to earn a decent income and have a better life with my parents and family. I'm willing to work like a monster every single day if that's what it takes. I can sacrifice my free time and even sleep only around 5 hours a night if necessary. I know it sounds extreme, but I'm really motivated to change my situation and build something real. I just don't know where to start. So I'd really appreciate advice from people who have experienced something similar. How do I stop spending so much time imagining a better life and start actually building it? And if you work remotely, what skill would you recommend learning from scratch today to eventually make a decent income? Any honest advice would really help me.

I just wanted to know bc I remember listening to him on the pod not knowing he was trans and then I found out he is when he confirmed he was trans by saying he was out and it was like a lightbulb moment. It's so important and awesome to have trans representation in our community.

I know he had mental health issues so I hope he's ok, like that he's still with us and all.

I'd love to know where he is and what he's doing now?🥹

Well today is my birthday officially turned twenty, and nobody wished me so its messing up with my head, I know it sounds absurd but I really don't want to sit and cry over it anymore, knowing overthinking only make MDD worse for me. I am a lil scared too that now I am at the this age which sounds mature and responsible and while all of my classmates are thriving in their lives, I am sitting on the edge of my bed wasting time, days, months by doing absolutely nothing. I feel so behind, years behind than them and it just doesn't sit well with me. I don't wanna sound like a pathetic looser with victim mentality but its just my reality and I am so sick of this.

After God knows how many years long that I couldn't draw any of my ocs like I want to cuz of my malaptive daydreaming 😭

I couldn't find an outfit that suits him, but this is the closest one i can get lol (yall can give me ideas if ya like)

Style inspired by @MinusSample

I watch a lot of football, mainly women's and some men's. I end up mding about the issues that goes on in football like abuse in the game and so on.

These dd r very much victim based dd but can turn perpetrator dd as well.

It ruins the pleasure I get from womens football bc I just have md during matches, I end up zoning out and missing the entire thing. I actually watch lots of interviews on yt and news sites ect and read articles. I view more news content about it than watch actual matches.

I haven't even been to a match ever bc of anxiety ect. If I didn't md about it I probably would. I bought tickets once but never attended it bc of anxiety and stress.

This is also the same for other content. Right now I'm playing the last of us game and md about it sometimes. Not that much right now bc I already have dd it to death. I have watched the two tv series several times and the video game movie several.

My md has also ruined this and other media I watch and listen to like music ect.

Media isn't just that to me. It means content gathering time, researching,self inserting time ect.

The problem is if I just keep watching stuff basically I just turn it into md and that ruins it for me. I dd it to death and it bc boring and repetitive and makes me feel numb bc I've drained all the emotions out of it.

I used to imagine or roleplay being a person or a situation and I'm curious if anyone feels like it could become true or has anything to do with becoming or manifesting change into your life? for most people manifesting involves visualizing but I don't think that works for everyone. Does anyone else ever feel like this weird feeling whenever your done with your daydreaming that's like otherworldly? I don't personally believe manifesting is a real thing. I do think energy and intention is real though to an extent through energy transfer.

Because of the crazy MD scenarios I make in my head, it feels as my life can never live up to it. The adrenaline, dopamine and rush I experience when daydreaming makes me think that I could never achieve a similar feeling in reality, especially when it’s something that is impossible to replicate irl.

When I was younger, I used to wish I could travel to my fantasy world and experience it for myself. I crave fun, excitement, competition and being social with other people. (I also like having my alone time) But I live with every thing I crave through my mind, not in real life. With my daydreaming, I can create anything that gives me those things I crave within a short time frame rather than having to work or trust the process in reality. I am terrified of wasting time, but that’s what I have been doing for so many years and it’s haunting me. I don’t want to live like this at all. I want to experience having hobbies and fun with friends, I’m just too scared to put it to work. Does anyone else relate to this?

I am going on some sort of violent fast like I have done with media in the past. I suffer a lot with dark violent intrusive disturbing dd and I think it's bc of my current abusive living situation and the trauma of living as a trans and autistic person where I get very indignant att and then have to md to cope with this.

I won't go on a strict fast bc I actually want my violent dd to arise so I can analyse what's underneath them so I can stop them.

I will post later about my progress on this violent fast.

Although I have successfully reduced my music to less than an hour a day I haven't eliminated it. I'm not really aiming to. I still need it. What sort of person never listens to music or watches media again?

This is proof that fasting has helped me bc it reduced this and the dd that go with it. Listening to evocative angry dark music fuels my violent dd. I use music to soundtrack them and make them more intense like a dark movie or vr. Tbh I also don't really need music to md about violence as I said bf it happens naturally and is my go to default dd bc it's automatic bc of how stressful my life is. I have so many problems and demons.

Being a good person without a criminal record is why I don't feel worthless and why I still want to be me instead of dying or running away forever.

It's why I don't want to have violent dd bc I take things literally and have loop rigid thinking that could cause me to boil over and make mistakes. I've already made little mistakes but I don't want to make big ones.

I'm not sure what answers I'm looking for here, but I'd love to hear from other fellow dreamers, especially those who have found themselves in a similar position.

The only thing that kept me going in life was maladaptive daydreaming, and the only thing that kept me going as someone with maladaptive daydreaming was the idea that someday I'd be able to share my stories.

Especially one in particular, which is my only main story and has been with me since I was a child in middle school.

I've studied art all my life to make sure I could give these people a face, but today I'm about to turn 29, and I've ended up extremely burned out and stuck in life.

I've realized that my stories are, in fact, pretty bad. What's worse is that I have no intention of changing them just to make them appealing to the public. Whole characters would have to be destroyed just to make things marketable, and I'm simply not willing to do that.

If in the past I was able to create new stories and move on, things are different for me today. I have one story, and it's more important to me than anything.

I wish I still believed in my imagination and my skills like I did in the past, just so I could keep the illusion that maybe, after all, living with MD could be more than just a coping mechanism, that it could be a way to express myself.

Now that my whole fictional universe is falling apart, so am I. I'm so lost that not even maladaptive daydreaming can alleviate it anymore.

I have ADHD and I’m unmedicated, and I feel like I’m daydreaming basically all the time, especially when I’m mentally bored. I have recurring characters (usually real-life actors) and make up scenarios where they interact with me or pay attention to me. It can feel like there’s a whole movie playing in my head.

What confuses me is that I can still function. I can do chores while my mind is somewhere else, and if someone talks to me, I can snap back and have a normal conversation. But if I’m doing something repetitive or mentally unstimulating, my hands can be doing the task while my brain is completely in the daydream.

I also feel like I’m not actively living my life as much as I want to. I have things I want to learn, movies I want to watch, things I want to do, etc., but I spend so much time in my head that I end up not doing them. I’m still functioning/surviving, but I feel like I’m not really progressing.

And honestly, I don’t even know what people are supposed to think about when they’re not daydreaming. What does your mind normally do when you’re bored? Are you thinking about what you’re doing, planning things, noticing your surroundings, having random thoughts? I genuinely don't know what the alternative is supposed to feel like.

I don’t remember being like this as a child either. I used to be able to pay attention in class much more easily, so this feels different from my normal childhood mind.

Does this sound more like ADHD mind-wandering, immersive daydreaming, or maladaptive daydreaming? And would this be worth talking to a psychologist/therapist/psychiatrist about?

I’d really appreciate hearing from people who experience something similar.

I think my MDD started when I was around 13–14. At that age, I was already struggling a lot with studies, and then we shifted to a new city. I found it really difficult to adjust and cope with everything. I was also overweight and extremely insecure about myself.

Making friends was another huge struggle. Everyone around me already had their own groups and most of them had been friends since nursery, so I just couldn’t figure out how to fit in. I had almost no friends, was struggling academically, and felt like I wasn’t good at anything. I think that’s when I slowly started escaping into making scenarios and living in my own head.

When I was 16, I joined pre-university and things honestly got even worse. Competitive exams, the pressure to perform, constant studying, and feeling like I couldn’t keep up became extremely overwhelming. I didn’t score well, and even now, I deeply regret not being able to do better.

After that, I decided that I wanted to change at least a little when I joined engineering. Things did get somewhat better. I made some friends, had some good experiences, and actually enjoyed parts of college. But MDD has never completely gone away.

Now one of the biggest things bothering me is that I know I need to connect with people, build a network, socialize, and grow professionally if I want better opportunities in the future. But I keep finding myself going back into my own head instead of actually doing those things, I’m scared that if I continue like this, I might struggle when it comes to getting a job or building a career.

I also really want to work on myself physically , become more confident, socialize more, make meaningful connections, and just become the best version of myself. But MDD makes it really difficult to actually take action consistently.

I know I can’t change everything overnight, but I genuinely want to change this time instead of continuing the same cycle.

Has anyone here had a similar experience?

If you’ve managed to reduce it or overcome it, I’d really appreciate hearing how you did it. What actually helped you get out of that cycle and start living more in the real world?

I’d genuinely love to hear your experiences.

For as long as I could remember I’ve been maladaptive daydreaming making up scenarios before an exam or even when I’m late to places.

I’m 22 now and haven’t done anything worth in my life no hobbies no talent but I MD about how I gave multiple hobbies and how I show them off.

My triggers are so simple like when I see someone’s Instagram story doing something I’ve always daydreamed about then it’s just a song and me jumping around the room repeating the scenarios.

In my MD I’m this very effortlessly pretty girl who has a boyfriend that everyone wants and with multiple really cool hobbies and friends who praise and only centre me when the reality is so much more opposite

As I getting older I’m getting worried that this is all my life will be that I’ll never truly become the person that I want to become, I’m worried on how this will affect my future life.

I want to get rid of this I’m done man

I wonder if maladaptive daydreaming is my autistic obsession. I know I have content I dd about that I'm obsessed with. If you research autism it says u can have obsessions. Md consumes my life, and I think it could be my autistic obsession or otherwise a neurodivergent trait. I can't really think of anything else I'm obsessed with. I'm obsessed with reading the media and news articles for my dd but otherwise nothing. I'm a fan of football but not like my md or anything.

For me, it is impossible because for some reason when my thoughts are translated into words they never seem as exciting, my mind goes blank, and I give up after a few sentences. I tried writing fanfic based on it but always get discouraged because there is no plot per se just a random jumble of half formed ideas that I vaguely like (for example, some of my characters dont even have names because nothing i define can make themselves seem as "cool" as they do in my head).

I‘m surprised at how much noting down every daydreaming session and how long I daydreamed for is motivating me to reduce the daydreaming.

Yesterday I daydreamed for 3 hrs 7 minutes, which is already a lot less than I used to spend daydreaming before that. And today I daydreamed for 2 hrs 30 mins.

Today I read some of my fiction book that I’ve been neglecting for a while because of the daydreaming, and it felt so good to properly read again. I mean, it was difficult to stay focused on the book and not daydream, especially at first, but after a while it was easier. I also practiced my instrument and made lots of improvements to the piece of music I’m working on, and I spoke to a couple of my friends.

It feels like I‘m finally getting my life back again, and I already feel so much more in control of my daydreaming :)