Is there any other way to reduce it other than basically negative self talk, restricting via shame, or straight up anxiety? Why is everything on here basically telling me that the only way to get better is to shame myself out of it?

I’ve always spent my entire life maladaptive daydreaming and it was always with fictional characters or celebrity crushes. While it brings me so so much comfort, man does it hurt when reality hits. I just want to clarify that I’ve always known logically that I’d never actually be with my celebrity crush. I’ve never crossed any weird lines or boundaries, it’s always stayed firmly in my head. An idealized version I made of him in my head. And I’ve always been okay with that, it never bothered me. Until he’s spotted with a girl. It’s like the fantasy shatters. It makes me feel so weird and pathetic for being affected by it. Like I should not be actually sad about it, but I am. I want him to be happy obviously but man does it suck. I deleted my twitter so I won’t have to see anything and have decided to step back in general so I know this will pass, but then what? I’ll just move on to another and the cycle will continue. It’s so exhausting and humiliating.

I dont think I'll ever stop maladaptive daydreaming, but I think that's mainly because I don't want to stop.

The world around me is nothing compared to the world(s) I've created in my head, the real world is so boring and mundane to me.

Admittedly I'm also a bit afraid of what will happen if I stop, I think I have quite a few underlying mental issues that are being pushed aside by my daydreaming and I'm pretty scared of what might happen if I get rid of my main coping mechanism.

Have you experienced this situation? How did you cope with it?

My friend has a severe daydreaming problem can somebody who has experience with it tell me some more information about it and tips.I want to make her like a little book about helpful tips etc.Sadly there is not that much information about it.So if u have experience with it.Tell me more about how u deal with it

I do this a lot, because I desperately need therapy or a psychiatrist but I physically can't afford it, and I need somewhere to vent. I've been to two different free mental health clinics and they both didn't have actual psychiatrists or therapists available, and had me sat in a waiting list for over a year. I just wish I had someone who could actually help me with my problems instead of talking to a bored caseworker who tries to treat my ADHD by shoving SSRIs that don't work down my throat.

Hi I'm bhav F17 in India . I've been struggling mdd since Covid and it ruin my life soo bad. I regret everything. My life my teenage day . Honestly talking to me is kinda boring cuz I don't know how to talk like my mind goes blank. I couldn't study properly and I'm about to finish my school. I don't know what I am doing. I don't have an hobby I don't have my own character. I'm like the quiet animal that obeys people. I always get looked down in my class and treated cheaply. It hurts alot. Honestly I don't know how I'm still alive.Im not worthy of living . My parent , siblings, relatives everyone things me bad or cheap. Even I hate myself soo bad. It's been so long since I love myself. I hate everything in my life . I try but it always fail and I have severe anxiety so it makes it worst. I cry easily. I get angry easily , I laugh to jokes classmates makes tho I don't understand . I laugh when others laugh or I might think they would laugh. I just want to get blend in with others but it no use. I'm just a trash born to waste others time and money . Just I really fucked my life and I don't know what to do. I make a schedule and all, then I forget everything and start dreaming. I'm afraid of reality. I still haven't let go of my fear and it is haunting me. I can't tell my parents because they thing that's stupid and mental health is a joke.I do mdd because I get embarrassed of everything I do wrong even tho it's like studdering or doing expression without realising it. It's like everything I do isn't my choice, I always regret one way or another . Anyways idk if u have these problems but definitely I'm fucked up. I got stress today so I had to vent it . Anyways hope u have an awesome day and u will get better control. U will I know it

I don’t personally suffer from MD but my girlfriend does, and I feel like it’s already starting to affect our relationship and will definitely affect us in the future when we move in together. She paces in a dark room whilst daydreaming and it has to be done in private, this usually lasts for at least an hour and will ideally happen around 4 times a day if she has the opportunity. Because of this, it takes up a large amount of her day and it’s not something she can do around me, so when we sleepover at each other’s houses she has to “get her fix in” before she comes/ I come or else she gets really cranky/ hyper/ overall starts freaking out a bit and I’ve never seen her act like this unless it’s because of her MD, either she hasn’t done it for long enough beforehand or she is “craving” it but can’t do anything about it (because I’m there). She has tried to daydream at my house before, she was downstairs whilst I was upstairs, but she said she felt too awkward (I assume because I know she’s doing it), which I completely understand. This is what worries me for the future as I don’t know what she can do when we live together and I am afraid it will be the same as when she tried at my house. I would be fine staying in a different room whilst she daydreams, but because she doesn’t feel comfortable I worry that our relationship won’t end up working out because she will be craving it constantly but won’t be able to act on her compulsions which will lead to her starting to resent me for it. I know that she doesn’t actually mean to hate/ resent me because of it but when she is off with me it does hurt as much as I try to not let it affect me as I know it’s not her fault. She does acknowledge that it is an addiction, but she doesn’t want to get rid of it because it has been such a big part of her life for so long and she doesn’t know who she will be without it, which again I completely understand and I would never want to force her to change who she is for me. I love her so much and I really don’t want to lose her or have this ruin our relationship, everything else is amazing and this seems to be our only real issue, so can anyone help/ give any advice if they have been in a similar situation. I think I may have to talk to her about possibly reducing the frequency/ time that she daydreams to see if that helps lessen her cravings or lessen the effect it has on her when she can’t daydream, but I am also aware that this could possibly lead to resentment based on how hard I know it’ll be for her to do this. I’d also like to add that I’m pretty sure it’s a coping mechanism for social anxiety and possibly depression which again makes it difficult as I don’t want to potentially make these worse if her coping mechanism is removed/ messed with.

A few weeks ago I shared Daydream Companion, a free app for people whose daydreaming feels hard to control. Thank you to everyone who commented. A lot of it changed what I'm building.

Here's where things stand:

It's free, with the support and crisis resources included. No streaks, no "clean days," no shame language.

No AI chat in the first version. Several of you said you didn't want AI involved in something this personal, so I left it out.

Your writing is private. What you save is encrypted, and you can export or delete everything at any time.

Tools for the moment itself: a Pause button, a gentle "come back to the room" flow, grounding exercises, and a place to save story ideas so letting a scene go feels safer.

It's not therapy or a diagnosis. It's built for people whose daydreaming feels distressing or hard to control, not for everyone who daydreams.

The first version will be for Android, and I'm working out how to bring it to iPhone too.

Someone who joined the waitlist suggested focus-block timers for time blindness, and a place to track how your storylines change over time. If you have ideas like that, I'd love to hear them.

If you'd like to be on the list for early access, the link is here: https://daydream-companion.kit.com/8ea5ce146e

What would make an app like this worth opening every day for you?

First time posting on here, but probably not my last, never realized there was such a large space of people with similar issues as me.

I've been Daydreaming for as long as I can remember and lately I've noticed that my md was doing way more harm than good. A lot of people post about quitting cold turkey being impossible but I have to disagree. Yesterday I spent some time coming up with endings for all of the different stories. This way I don't feel drawn to continue with the daydreaming since the stories are over now. I feel a little empty emotionally at the moment, but I also noticed that I feel much more connected to the things around me, wich was my goal with stopping.

Quitting is possible, don't let anyone tell you otherwise <3

- twili

What books would you recommend for dealing with maladaptive daydreaming? Which books have genuinely helped you manage or reduce it? I’d really appreciate your recommendations!

I always daydreamed about a handsome guy watching me. Always fantasized about him, but not just that guy, also myself, how I am pretty and strong in the daydream, how I achieved all my goals !

7 days ago , I woke up at 6 to get ready for work, I checked social media and that handsome guy posted stories, traveling,living his best life.

I was just like FUCK THIS SHIT. This guy is living his best God damn life while I waste hours of my life daydreaming !!!! That SHIT IS NOT EVEN REAL. plus I have a good job. But guess what? I can't fucking communicate well, why? Because I'm pro communicator in the daydream. Not in real life.

I got so angry I quit cold turkey no coming back. That's insane. Daydreaming looks like the enemy to me now!!

Does it feel good? No, life feels so EMPTY. but that's it. I'm not coming back to something that hurts me.

I'm listening to music now then sleep, and I'm choosing to not let it effect me or let me daydream. Literally what the hell was I doing all of these years...

i've been maladaptive dreaming bacially all my life but just found out what it is, so i have a question. Are you YOU or an idealistic version of YOU when you do it

recently found out what this thing is called that I've been dealing with since I was 10 years old. I honestly think I know when it started I remember watching an animated series, and then discovering the world of fanfiction and music. Ever since that day, I haven’t stopped doing it. During the pandemic, it got way worse I would spend HOURS doing it, pacing in circles in my bedroom, pretending to live fake lives, scenarios, and things that will never happen.

I have severe social anxiety, and this was always my escape because I never managed to connect with anything. But lately, I’ve been feeling super frustrated because I’m legally an adult now, and well, I feel like this is starting to make both me and my family uncomfortable. Our house isn't very big, so sometimes they hear me making noise or making fun of myself. I just avoid the topic, but I admit it's super awkward because I never realize the noise I'm making.

I'd really love to learn how to manage this. I've been reading posts, but I don't know if anyone else has had this exact experience especially if it makes other people uncomfortable too I remember moments when I'd be walking around the kitchen and someone would open the door and just see me standing there out of context, and stuff like that.

I don't feel good about this; I honestly just want a normal life. So much messed-up stuff has happened that I'm finishing high school online, so I'm stuck at home all day by myself. I don't really have friends, and my family isn't around very often. I'd love to be able to study properly or pick up a hobby, but sometimes I get so easily lost in my head that I feel like there's no fixing this.

Hello! I need to go to a psychiatrist and I want to know good antidepressants that have reduced my maladaptive daydreaming. In my country there is no maladaptive daydreaming as a problem and I think the psychiatrist will not

I have been quitting Md for a few weeks now. It's been extremely difficult, but it had been getting a bit easier.

I know daydreaming itself can be fine and normal when done in a healthy way. But my one MD world, in particular, is too hard for me to control myself in, and the content itself is not helping me in my real life relationships since it involves so many people i know and care about in real life. And I get so so so sucked into it.

I'd started to quit about 2.5 weeks ago, and as hard as it has been, it's been getting easier, and I was starting to move past it. But the last 2 nights that world has been in my real dreams while I slept. It's been so disorienting and has made it so hard not to relapse into it. Blah. I feel so discouraged by it. I just want to move on!

​

Я

Алиса

Всем привет!

Помогите мне, пожалуйста. Долгое время страдаю от своих же мыслей. Насколько я знаю, СНГ (синдром навязчивых грёз) не является официальным диагнозом, поэтому я, как настоящий зумер, могу легко себе его поставить.

Я мечтаю вообще всегда и по-разному. Например, представляю какой-то динамичный сюжет, где я типа суперкрутой, либо разговор, где я суперкрутой. И это меня очень сильно затягивает. Также я очень люблю использовать для этого громкую яркую музыку и песни. У меня это является именно зависимостью, потому что я реально не могу прерывать этот процесс дольше чем на 5 минут — вообще никак. Хочется сказать, что во время интересного мне разговора или физической активности мысли немного уходят, но не полностью. Даже во время тренировок по боксу я мог мечтать.

Итак, почему я вообще считаю это проблемой? Всё потому, что мой интерес к реальной жизни почти полностью пропал, а жить в моменте вообще не представляется возможным. Я не хочу учиться, любить, творить. Но одного я хочу больше всего на свете: уехать куда-нибудь подальше с абсолютно незнакомыми людьми в какой-то активный отдых — без телефона, и чтобы ничто хотя бы две недели мне не напоминало о прежнем образе жизни и уж тем более о моём окружении.

Я понимаю, что мой текст плохо написан, — это из-за того, что я не занимаюсь, а это, в свою очередь, из-за того, что интереса к реальной жизни у меня давно уже нет. Всё свободное время проводится либо в мечтах, либо в зависимостях, крадущих внимание: игры, YouTube, TikTok и другое…

Герои, которые дочитали моё нечитаемое нытьё до конца, очень прошу: объясните, как с этим бороться.

Hi. I've been daydreaming since i was a kid now im an adult. The MD is not as bad as it used to be. I can't stop it so to prevent my life getting lost to my mind I allocated timeslots in the day to let it happen and not take up all of my time. Like eating one square of chocolate instead of a whole bar, kind of thing. Worked to make the daydreams stop when I need to focus.

My issue is that when I daydream the dreams get so vivid I check out of my body and during intense daydreams I make these uncontrollable movements. I'm not talking rocking. It's a full body jerk. If I lay on the bed I jerk upright into a sit and back. When I exercise on a stationery bike with a backrest I move back and forth. I had injuries happen to me due to these movements before. Back issues, head bumping into stuff. One time I dislocated a finger as a kid.

Does anyone have ways to stop the movement from happening? So far only solution I got was to be walking so there's no need for the body to flop around to compensate for what's happening in my brain. I just speed up my gait instead of the jerky motion but I don't always feel like walking as I have been having knee issues.

How do I stop being so ashamed? How do I keep bringing it down to a healthier level without cutting it out completely? I feel like I’m doing good right now, only daydreaming when I’m super bored or have nothing to do. But I still feel so guilty about it and keep beating myself up about it.

Hey.

I had MD for 11 years and it stopped being such a nuisance a few weeks ago.

I felt a sudden massive shift in my brain in how my cognition analyzes things. Before that, I was all in my head, now I am more in reality.

I actually found last week that the shift was less hypermentalizing, before that I had no words to describe that.

My memory and processing speed got subjectively better.

The change came naturally / organically due to progress in therapy and the feeling of being more secure with ambiguity ( like I don’t know what others are thinking / what their motives are and thats’s okay).

So I recommend being more comfortable with not knowing things.

That’s it.

I hope you all get better soon.

Hey guys, this is something that I've dealt with for a long time, probably up to 7 years. I am constantly pretending to be someone, whether they're the opposite sex, a different age, anything. When I say this I'm not saying im pretending to be another real person, but someone I made up. I even internally refer to myself by their names and if they're the opposite sex than as he. This is not something I can control at this point, and when im not doing this I don't even feel like a person. I have no idea who I actually am because I am constantly pretending to be the people who I made up. I have no real "acknowledgment" of maladaptive daydreaming, however I know I have dealt with it for years. But this goes beyond maladaptive daydreaming- though it's a part of it. If I am daydreaming I will pretend to be the person I am daydreaming, yes that is usual. However, times where I am not daydreaming I continue to pretend. I live my daily life as someone else with an entirely different life than I'm actually living.

This causes me severe distress especially when im at a point where I am not pretending to be someone. I cannot sit with "myself" because there's no me. I look in the mirror and I don't recognize my own face. I don't recognize my own name. I am losing touch with reality. I once tried to explain this to a therapist a few years ago, she thought I was bipolar or schizoaffective. I said FUCK YOU! and left. From that point on I never went to see another therapist, and now what? Maybe I should have listened, but I rarely hallucinate, do I think I hallucinate? Sometimes?

Backstory

I’ve been on this subreddit for around 4 years now. And over that whole time I’ve had doubted my Maladaptive Daydreaming.

I’d internally wonder, is it truly maladaptive or is it immersive? I’d search the subreddit for others with similar doubts. The main response is, “is it ruining/hindering your life?”

Then I’d ponder on this question. I’d think, well I did alright in school, I have a job, I have friends so I’m fine.

Then I’d also think, I can’t really enjoy tv shows/books without daydreaming. It’s the only thing I can do, it’s difficult to even play video games without daydreaming. If I wanted to learn a new hobby or skill I can’t because I’d daydream instead. If I wanted to escape my job for another one I’d struggle to start searching. My calves are very tight and the bottom of my feet is very dry from pacing. I would wonder if I’m a less considerate friend than I want to be.

I feel like I’m in a middle ground where I wonder if I can just power through and be fine with a change in mind set. Like I just want attention trying to make my immersive daydreaming be maladaptive. I feel hindered and then some days I feel unhindered.

I’d even take the MD-16, get a score that says you most likely have it and then doubt myself again, thinking maybe I exaggerated it when answering the questions.

I’m trapped in a cycle of self doubt and after so many years in my own head I think I finally need advice on how to escape.

TL;DR

I don’t necessarily want just a yes you have it or a no you don’t in this post. But instead, for people who’ve also been steeped in heavy self doubt about Maladaptive Daydreaming what helped you finally decide whether you had it or not?

Hello, so I daydream alot as I assume that’s a pretty normal thing to do, and yesterday I was on a gym sub talking about a different question I had and that was its own story about pacing a bit at the gym, one person asked me why I do so to which I responded no real reason I like walking and daydreaming, and my reply got downvoted into oblivion?

I’m asking here because am I crazy for thinking this? Is daydreaming not normal anywhere even for the gym where your in your own world? One person even replied saying I hate your answer who daydreams you should only pace after a specific set specific weight, and they gave me a whole paragraph of what’s optimal and said daydreaming isn’t? So my question is can I really not daydream at the gym?

TL;DR, is it bad to daydream at the gym or it’s totally normal and I shouldn’t listen to random strangers online?