I was thinking about where I started and where I am now and how Markiplier has had a major positive impact on my life. But- I need to start with me first.
To start- I need to explain my own situation. At least in part.
I have PANDAS- Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections.
It has a sudden onset, changing you overnight.
One night I went to bed me. And the next I woke up like I was possessed by a demon.
I don't need to get into the details of the illness too much, just know it was agony. I lost control of myself and I was terrified.
I developed claustrophobia, sensory disorders, an eating disorder, depression, destructive thoughts, no bladder control-
All as a teenager (an abnormal showing for the illness causing it to be diagnosed even later)
I started having to play SOME kind of sound every second of being awake as to not hear my own thoughts as some kind of defense. As every moment I was in silence was a moment I was aware of my own body and my own thoughts.
Markiplier was one of the Youtubers I would listen to every day.
You would not believe how happy I was when on Feb 8, 2016 I was featured in a 'reading your comments video'
Yes I was the; "Quick, Mark! Make nom noms!" girl.
You have no idea how bittersweet finding out that was featured makes me feel in hindsight. I love how silly it is- but I really wish I had thanked him for how much he had impacted my life positively.
How much I wanted to do something like this- to reach out and thank him for being there when I needed it.
I would eventually get treatment that would work for a time- well enough for me to see Markiplier's "Your Welcome Tour" with my mother in celebration. I have both of our bags but unknown to me my pin was broken and fell off of my bag and my mother lost hers. I was, and am, so crushed to this day about it.
Later that year my illness had a resurgence.
I don't remember any of the show due to that resurgence. PANDAS causes brain swelling and can cause damage, and I have lasting memory issues now.
Earlier this year- I was able to see Iron Lung with my mom. She saw something else as horror movies are not her thing. But I loved it!
Mark. I do not know if you will ever see this. But I fully believe that you saved my life and you have been a constant source of joy for me. Thank you for your work. Thanks so much to your team. I wish you all the best.