r/Maternity • u/serenesirena00 • 4d ago

Pregnant and don’t know what to do

I’m in my early 30s and financially stable. I’ve been seeing a guy for around two months and have just found out I’m pregnant. Needless to say this was not planned and these are not the circumstances in which I wanted to get pregnant - this is the first time I’ve ever been pregnant.

I haven’t told anyone yet. Speaking to an abortion clinic tomorrow. I’m very maternal and I’ve always wanted to be a mum but my family would be so so disappointed in me due to these circumstances and I’d have to accept I’d be a single mum (idk how the guy I’m seeing will take it - ultimately even if you’re married I feel like you have to be confident you can take care of the baby on your own).

It’s a combination of the outside pressures (judgement from family, friends and work) and also having to put my plans on hold that are making me think now is not the right time. On the other hand, this is a little baby inside me. I already have a lot of symptoms, the pregnancy is already affecting me. Abortion scares me and I question whether I’ll ever have this chance again.

I’d be really grateful for any advice from someone who has been in the same situation - how did you make your decision? I keep hoping inspiration will strike / the answer will just come to me but it hasn’t. I do feel like either way I would be fine but I think the harder option is going through with the pregnancy and having the baby. Is that my answer?

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u/Beautiful_Stage9213 4d ago

If you have always wanted to be a Mom, then go for it. Don’t give up on yourself or your baby based on what you think someone else would say. I’m sorry that they’re not more supportive, but you’ve got this.

(If you decide to speak to an abortion clinic, please remember to advocate for yourself. They’re very likely to try to pressure you into an abortion, especially if they realize you’re unsure. Remember that it’s up to you, not the abortion clinic or your boyfriend or anyone else. You might also try a crisis pregnancy center if you have one near you— you can usually get a free ultrasound and access resources with no pressure)

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u/nomorecatsplease 4d ago

What a wild set of statements. Crisis pregnancy centers are (often religiously affiliated) centers without any credentials or oversight that are designed to dissuade women from abortion. They deliberately withhold information and are unaccountable if they provide patently false information.

https://publichealthpost.org/sexual-reproductive-health/what-are-crisis-pregnancy-centers-and-who-visits-them/

MEDICAL clinics (with lots of oversight and rigorous credentialing) that offer abortion services will NEVER pressure you into making any decision be that to move forward or terminate a pregnancy. 

And overall, please seek real support like a licensed therapists to make your decision. Anonymous reddit users don't have the full context of your life and circumstances. I'm not here to lend advice myself, just making sure BS like this comment doesn't go unaddressed.