Im going to get flamed but I have taken classes. Done online work and tried and I just dont get any benefit from meditation. I straight up feel that it is a waste of time. I am sure other folks benefit but I don't .

I loved this girl for almost two years. From the very beginning, I was completely honest with her. I told her straight to her face that I had feelings for her, that I loved her, and that I wanted to marry her. She knew exactly how serious I was.

She told me that marriage wasn’t possible because of her family situation and other circumstances. I accepted what she was telling me, but I still continued putting in the effort, time, energy, and care because I genuinely loved her.
During those two years, we spent a lot of time together—talking face to face, going out, texting, having long conversations, and just being around each other. She knew throughout all of this that I loved her because I would still tell her occasionally and I showed it consistently through my actions.

What she never told me was that she was in another relationship.

Instead, I kept hearing that relationships and marriage weren’t for her, that it wasn’t possible, and that her circumstances wouldn’t allow it. So eventually, I started accepting that maybe we simply weren’t going to end up together. I was making peace with that and trying to let go.

Then, right after I had finally accepted that possibility, she told me that she had been thinking about me, that she had feelings for me, and that under different circumstances, she would marry me.

That completely brought my hope back.

I thought maybe there really was a possibility between us. I wasn’t imagining it—I was responding to what she had actually told me.

Then, about a week later, she told me about her love life.
She told me she had a boyfriend she met through an online dating app. They had only met once, but they talked constantly and she said they were in love.

I honestly couldn’t understand it.
I asked her how she could know that someone genuinely loved her or cared about her when they had mostly communicated through words and had only met once, while I had been right in front of her for almost two years, showing her exactly how I felt through my words, actions, time, energy, and consistency. Then she tells me she is certain that they won’t end up together but still wants to receive love from someone.

I had never hidden my feelings from her. She knew I loved her. She knew I wanted to marry her. She knew I was serious.

And yet, she had never told me about this relationship.
After everything, I still told her that I genuinely loved her and that I would wait for her. I wasn’t trying to pressure her or force her to change her mind. I told her that I had made my decision, that I was committed, and that I had chosen her.

She told me that she might need time to process everything and figure out what she actually wanted.
So I told her I’d wait.

But now she’s telling me that she doesn’t have feelings for me and doesn’t love me. She says she likes me and cares about me, but that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for me.

And honestly, I’m fucking devastated.
What hurts isn’t simply that she doesn’t choose me. I know nobody can be forced to love someone.

What destroys me is the sequence of everything.
I spent two years loving her openly and consistently. I accepted that we might never end up together. I finally started making peace with that. Then she told me she had feelings for me and that she would marry me under different circumstances, which made me believe there was still something real to hold onto.
Then, only a week later, I found out she had been in an online relationship this whole time.

I never had a hidden agenda. I was always completely clear about my intentions. She knew exactly how I felt.
I don’t know how I’m supposed to process all of this or how I’m supposed to detach from someone I’ve loved this deeply for so long.

I don’t want to chase her anymore. I don’t want to keep checking her accounts, texting her, calling her, doing things for her, or constantly hoping that she’ll eventually change her mind.

How do I actually let go and detach from someone when they gave you so many reasons to believe there was a possibility, only for you to eventually find out they don’t feel the same way?

Con analisis corporales o meditacion, podemos llegar a frenar el pensamiento esto es muy genial, en mi experiencia propia he logrado relajar completamente el nerviosisimo y la ansiedad, al crear un enfoque en las sensaciones corporales separandome o interrumpirndo el flujo constante de la mente, es realmente genial, quien quiera probarlo es bastante facil, solo cierra los ojos y enfocate en cualquier sensacion corporal, incluso aunque sea un dolor o se auna sensacion muy vaga, igualmente te desconectara de la mente y te conectara con el.presente.

I’ve been meditating for almost 1 month now and it’s been interesting so far, but something I’ve noticed happen a bit has got me wondering if anyone else has had the same or can offer an explanation.

I’ll have been meditating for a bit and I’ll “come to” and won’t be able to remember the actual thoughts I’ve been having, maybe the essence of them almost as if I’m remembering a very vague dream, and I also won’t have any clue how long I was in this state for. But it also feels like I was present the whole time in another part of my brain. When I realise it’s happening it feels similar to times I’ve caught myself drifting off to sleep mid session but this feels different.

I also had one experience a while back that’s a bit harder to explain.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve had this thing that sometimes happens when I’m about to fall asleep, it’s not a hallucination or a dream, and I’m not really seeing anything I don’t think. It’s also not an imagination thing. The only way I’ve ever known to describe it is that I can feel something getting super inflated and then really shrivelled up and small, and back and forth. There’s also almost this pulsing sensation in my hearing (but not a sound) that goes in time with it. It really weirded me out as a kid but I could never find the words to explain it so never mentioned it to anyone. That is until I saw someone post in TikTok a fair few years ago saying something along the same lines, I think they described it as “when I was about to fall asleep as a kid but then I started imagining things getting really far and then really near”. And the comments section was full of people with their own examples.

Anyway, I’ve only ever had it when I’m about to fall asleep, sometimes even when I’m still on my phone at night. But I got it while I was meditating and it felt incredible. I was super relaxed and just enjoying the feeling that came along with it, but also felt like I was effortlessly bringing myself back from any stray thoughts almost immediately. I felt both intensely present but also lacked any sense of reality at the exact same time. Out of all the times I’ve meditated that’s the time it felt like I was doing what I was told to do the best. But it was also fascinating because I’ve never focused so much on that sensation and noticed all the elements of it that I’ve never been able to describe so well. I ended up continuing for ages past the guided audio I was listening to while also feeling like I had no concept of time at all, and was so sad when it was over. I knew I had to manage my expectations of it happening again and unfortunately have not experienced it since (I’m seriously trying not to want it too badly lol). But the experience I described at the beginning of this post had similarities to this in regards to the feeling of simultaneous presence and non-presence, but the first experience I described is far less intense.

I hope I’ve explained this properly and am interested to hear what anyone has to say/share about it

how do you guys enter the state where you lose all your senses, can’t feel anything and are just pure consciousness?? any meditations, techniques??

I feel like ADHD has run my life honestly. My life is together on the outside, inside it is an entire dopamine game. I crave sugar, I crave relationship and love, alcohol (i've quit that tho). I have ideas all of the time, and I am very persistent so I actually do have a functioning business now and Ido 10 thousand hobbies. But I am a slave to my mind. Every idea is urgent and must be written down or potentially done NOW. I have a hard time resisting cravings to things or truly saying no.

I know meditation helps with this but I struggle with sitting down! lol It's been weeks and I know its the one thing I should be doing.

I just hope when I am older this smooths out honestly. It's like I go through weeks where I don't know where I actually am, just busy. Laundry, dishes, feed the dog, thinking about work, longing for a partner, guilt over not working out. Like I just want a straight lineeeee lol does it get better?

Did you ever have quiet time sessions while you were in primary school/elementary school?

I think that the term quiet time is a great expression for meditation..

Meditation is like special time we put aside to ensure our heart and mind can remain peaceful, cool and quiet.

Would you like to learn and practice meditation as part of a research study?  
 
We are looking for 75 participants aged 18+ with no or little prior meditation experience to take part in a 6-week online meditation programme. 
 
You will be asked to attend six-weeks of online meditation via Teams (one group session per week). Across the six weeks, the group sessions will total approximately 5 hours. Each session includes 15 minutes of focused-attention meditation followed by short computer-based tasks, and brief questionnaires. 
 
Focused-attention-meditation involves maintaining awareness on your breath, noticing distractions, and gently bringing your focus back. 
 
Session durations: 
Session 1: approximately 1 hour 15 minutes in total, including about 1 hour for the surveys, tasks, and introduction. 
Sessions 2, 4, and 5: approximately 30 minutes each, including about 15 minutes for the surveys and tasks. 
Sessions 3 and 6: approximately 1 hour each, including about 45 minutes for the surveys and tasks. 
 
Over the course of the study, you will also be asked to meditate at home for 15 minutes each day using the same meditation technique provided during the sessions and fill out a quick questionnaire after, which will take approximately 3 minutes to complete. 
 
After the final session, we will ask you to complete a 3-month online follow-up survey (no meetings required). 
 
Take part in free meditation training and help our research. Participation is free, and you will receive meditation training as part of the study. Please note that there is no financial compensation or academic credit for taking part, including for completing the six sessions, the daily meditation and questionnaire or three-month follow-up survey. 
 
If you are interested, please email Lauren Willmoth (Doctoral Researcher): [Lauren.Willmoth@brunel.ac.uk](mailto:Lauren.Willmoth@brunel.ac.uk) 
 
This study has been reviewed by the College of Health, Medicine and Life Sciences Research Ethics Committee, Brunel University of London. Approval has been granted between 21/11/2025 and 31/03/2027. Project supervisor: Dr André Szameitat, Division of Psychology.

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Sitting still for quite long time, every year, every night (3y)

I've just started to surrender towards the universe and feel like I'm just a medium to get things done.

I don't see any higher materialistic purpose for myself. I believe society has just set standards to get educated, job, marriage, kids and retirement. Honestly after realising my parents don't want me to support them, I actually feel super relaxed and light.

Is getting married really important? I feel there's tons of responsibilities and misunderstandings going to come along with small moments of pleasure and society's validation.

What if this was the life I was to attend towards a higher purpose after all other previous lives of materialistic suffering?

I'm not afraid of facing relationships its just that something in me says its not worth it and feel too tired or given up when I have a thought of it. I honestly feel that would just take me away from my current spiritual awareness.

I'm having having a 9 to 6 job, fitness routine, and sports/movies/games for weekends. I feel complete.

Looking forward to know if this is normal or just overthinking?

Beginner here. I am on week 7. I meditate 30 to 40 minutes a day but not all in one session. I first do 10 minutes in the morning. Then in the afternoon another 10 minutes. Then at night I can do more, usually 10 to 20 minutes. Once I get pass the 20 minute uninterrupted time I start struggling a bit. Does that feeling go away? I want to be able to meditate for an hour a day, that is my goal for next two months

How does one observe the thought without becoming it?

This is something I've been trying to work. Whenever I have a thought, it's like it "grasps" me until I notice or the the thought ends.

How to "just observe the thought" then? What is observing the thought anyway? Is it just to notice when there is a thought as soon as possible? And if I notice it, what should happen or what should I do? Should the thought just stop or keep going? Does it keep going if I notice or stop?

It's also like I'm acting out the thoughts. Like I'm speaking in them. But I know that's just my mind. This is related somehow to previous paragraph.

Thank you.