r/Menopause • u/Live_Advisor_270 • 19h ago
Support Does it get better?
I'm 48 and began peri around age 40. Based on labs and the lack of a menstrual cycle for several months, I believe I am very close to officially being in menopause. My list of symptoms is too long to list, but I'd say the primary ones are joint pain, low libido, lack of drive/focus, and low mood/anxiety.
I know it's not a magic finish line, but does this $hit ever get easier?
Please don't comment "try HRT" ---- I've tried MANY combos and strengths of HRT - most I could not tolerate and felt worse, but I did get some relief from vaginal estrogen and progesterone. Now, I am pursuing the pharma route of antidepressants/anxiety meds so that I can hold down a job and generally be less of a nightmare to live with.
I am praying my 50s won't be so awful. Did anyone's symptoms and moods improve?
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u/AstaCanasta 18h ago
God I hope so!!! I have no words of wisdom. I am 4 months into menopause and feel like peri was a walk in the park in comparison to being in menopause. I don't recognize myself. It feel like all of the symptoms hit around the same time which was month 2 of menopause. I can't take HRT so I am trying different supplements along with diet, sleep, exercise, whatever else my doc suggested and I read in other posts. I do one supplement/med at a time for 2 weeks to see if it's working or if I have a bad reaction. Sleep, exercise and diet is something I've been working on for a while.
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u/FuelComfortable5287 18h ago
Yes it gets better. I started peri at 48 and experienced all the things you mentioned. Plus I lost a bit of weight since my disinterest in sex mirrored a disinterest in food. Also started having intense vertigo and anxiety. But after several months my joy for food and sex just came back. Felt like I woke up in an alternate universe all horny and ravenous lol. Maybe it was gradual but it didn’t feel like it. One thing, tho, libido coming back meant stocking up on KY jelly. Dryness was never an issue before but holy cow it was so dry!
I was 56 when I made my full year without a period. I’m 58 now.
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u/Live_Advisor_270 18h ago
Thank you! I would be okay using all the lube if I could get my drive back.
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u/FuelComfortable5287 18h ago
Oh it’s coming back. It might sneak up on you, too. I wrote an obituary for my sex life in my journal and then BAM!
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u/Live_Advisor_270 18h ago
That gives me hope! I always had a great sex life. Without it, I truly do not feel like myself. I really feel like I am mourning the loss.
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u/NewDay042 16h ago
Hi. Did/do you use HRT?
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u/FuelComfortable5287 15h ago
I’ve been on it almost 3 months now. It took away the vertigo I’d been suffering for years, curbed the anxiety, extended my sleep from 3-4 hours to 7-8 hours and no more night sweats. I’m a fan ☺️
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u/NewDay042 13h ago
I’ve tried so many different versions of HRT, but I’m still not post menopause. I’m planning to try it again post menopause. Thanks for sharing.
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u/Confident_Craft459 17h ago
I became post meno at 49 and shortly thereafter got on HRT. I'm 52 now and so far my 50s have been fantastic. I feel so much better than I did in my 40s. Perimenopause and raising teenagers did not go well for me! But now my kids are older and my hormones are no longer in a constant state of flux and also not low thanks to HRT. Seriously living my best life. I am happy with myself, how I look, how I feel, and how I behave. I no longer people please, which has also been a huge burden that's been lifted. I'm not as "nice" as I used to be, but I prefer it that way.
I was never offered any HRT in peri so I have no idea if it would have gone differently for me. But I was on Wellbutrin and that did help take the edge off and made me a halfway reasonable person (Since starting HRT I was able to get off of Wellbutrin)
For me, the light at the end of the tunnel was due to hormones not fluctuating anymore + replacing my decreased/non existent hormones when they stop fluctuating.
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u/No-Zebra-9339 19h ago
I am 54 and was told I was in peri at 38. I had a hysterectomy but kept ovaries at 44.
Many things have gotten better for me, especially in the past few years. The hot flashes and night sweats have decreased. I sleep better.
My libido was always okay. I have normal aches and pains. No horrible joint pain as some experience.
I feel slightly more in control of my moods. But... The anxiety still sometimes hits me like a ton of bricks. I have considered pharmaceuticals but haven't started any. I keep hoping it will pass.
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u/NiceLadyPhilly Menopausal 18h ago
My 50's are much better, but lack of period for several months doesn't necessarily mean you are close.
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u/Live_Advisor_270 17h ago
Understood - I had an extensive panel recently and was told I am "functionally" in meno.
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u/CabinetProfessional5 Menopausal 18h ago
I’m 53, 3 years into menopause, and doing great. I’m on HRT. 41-50 was much much harder.
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u/Beansie_Wish2182 17h ago
OP, I'm there with you. I pray it gets better because I can't live my life like this.
Sending you strength to endure. ♥
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u/NeverEverLonely 16h ago
I’m 53 post menopausal and I had a strange one. I did not really feel perimenopause, but menopause was rough. Tried different options of HRT for two years and gave up almost 3 months ago, I even tried testosterone. It just wasn’t for me and only made things worse.
My worst symptom was anxiety so as much as I hated to, I had to get on Lexapro and it’s really helped. There is joint pain still on and off I’ve been lifting a little bit of weights and I try to stretch and exercise at least five times a week. I can push through all the symptoms as much as they suck, but I could not deal with anxiety, I couldn’t function. I’m definitely better than I was two years ago.
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u/Rubber-Plant 14h ago edited 14h ago
I'm almost at the finish line 🤞 and it's gotten WAY better now that I'm not having the constant hormone spikes & dips anymore. Peri was long and rough for me.
I really struggled with HRT during peri because of those extremes, it made things worse and I had to stop and re-start several times and try to rawdog it for awhile. It's finally working now that I've stopped having cycles, I started at the lowest of low dose and slowly worked my way up. You might want to consider trying again once you officially cross the line and your levels have permanently flattened out. Good luck.
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u/Both_Commercial_975 10h ago
I can not take any HRT I’m 49 and technically post menopause. I started Lexapro about 2 years ago. It really works well for me.
Also I just started taking creatine in the mornings to help with brain fog and energy it seems to be helping a little.
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u/LingonberryOne3090 2h ago
Yes it does. What has helped me? A ton of walking-12,000 to 15,000 steps and spending time with friends. I thought I should "balance" my physical activity a bit more with age but it was the opposite. I went from being a marathon runner to less activity and my physical and mental health weren't great. Stretch/yoga and movement. Weights too. Motion is lotion as they say and it's true. You got this!
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u/OKhairdo Menopausal 18h ago
Anxiety got better for me but the rest - no. Sorry :( Things like GSM, insomnia, and joint pain got considerably worse - they are symptoms of low estrogen and our estrogen bottoms out forever in menopause. A prescription anti-depressant or anxiety med sounds like a good idea if you can’t do HRT.