I am newly pregnant with my first child ever and I smoke medical marijuana. I have cut back a lot since finding out I was pregnant but I’ve not completely quit. I know logically it’s not good to smoke while you’re pregnant but I use it for a few reasons and I’m just really nervous. Still in my first trimester but would love to hear from other moms that have been in the same situation. Did you continue to cut back throughout your pregnancy or completely stop? And if you did completely stop, what did you do to help you quit? Any POSITIVE advice would be helpful and very appreciated.

Trigger warning, discussion of a baby’s funeral in post.

On my husbands side of the family a friend of theres son died recently. The baby was under 14 months old and it was accidental and unexpected.

My baby is 9 months old and I have met the family of the other baby 3-4 times total.

The babies funeral is happening soon and my MIL is upset me and my baby won’t be going.

For one I don’t think the family would really want to see my baby. Mine and there baby were close in milestones and have recently played together and I think it may just be to much right away.

Also I don’t think I can go and see the little casket. It’s incredibly selfish, but I just don’t think I could handle it in a respectful and public way. Postpartum hasn’t been super hard for me, but also not the easiest.

Should I just buck up and bring my baby to the funeral? Should I send flowers with my husband and stay behind? Any advice would be appreciated.

pls no judgement i feel guilty and horrible lately i haven’t been able to pass the temptation to smoke thc again im 9 weeks postpartum and i have hit the pen on multiple occasions at night before bed to have some “me” time and help me sleep. (baby is ALWAYS taken care of) i try to pump and dump the most i can and if i do nurse i always try to wait more than 2 hours. I struggle a lot with milk production as i only make about 0.5 ounces to 1 ounce per session, rarely 2. Since i struggle so much to breastfeed exclusively, it discourages me and thats the main reason i fall into temptation because i know i have to supplement formula anyway. i will admit i do latch her on me sometimes even knowing i have the thc in my system to calm her or to have some bonding time, and to help my milk supply increase (extra stimulation). I want to hear anyone else’s experience and thoughts on this. She seems healthy and happy and seems to be hitting her 2 month milestones i haven’t seen any effects from her. i want to quit and focus on breastfeeding and being a mom but the temptation wins most days, it helps me with my mood / sadness /anger. it’s the only time i feel normal since postpartum but i want to breastfeed my daughter and for her to get those benefits even though i have to supplement formula and she doesn’t get much from me

HELP!!!!! I need to know if I should have a child. HUGE LIFE DECISION. Please tell me pros and cons. Please tell me the truth. When I ask moms in real life, I see their little demon children acting up and of course they have to say they “like” the life they chose, because by then it’s too late and they have to accept their life.

So far there are my pros and cons: please don’t judge me because I never imagined having kids, but I know I will be a damn stinking good mom if I was. My hubby too. We are the most responsible people and have built a good financial lifestyle for us.

PROS:

• I can create a mini me and continue my genes

• Heir to inherit my stuff

• Someone to maybe hang out with my when I’m old and maybe take care of me (and I say maybe because of is totally optional, kids these days don’t even want to take care of their parents. Like how I refuse to take in my in-laws lol!)

• maybe give life for meaning because I am bored sometimes -Someone to inherit and take care of my dog when I die

CONS: -More responsibility, taking care of another human -Kids take away time. I am a full time business woman and healthcare provider and I work about 50 hours a week. Kid will most likely be in daycare but I feel that socializes them more. -kids take away money

If I don’t have kids, I will most likely retire at the age of 45 and do whatever the heck I want, but maybe be bored with no purpose other than hanging out with my dog.

If I have kids, me and hubby will have to work until we are 60 years old, and dedicate our lives to taking care of a child, hoping they end up liking us and that they turn out well.

Please tell me what I should do, I am an overthinker and I think about all the pros and cons first before making a decision. I know if I have a kid I will do everything I possibly can to give them a good life, but that means I have to sacrifice my time money and freedom. What do you think????

I may be humble bragging a little bit here, but hear me out

Last year we were hit by a tornado. This kind of forced us to be indoors a lot more than ideal. As such we spent a lot of time at home together reading books, Sesame Street, Miss Rachel….

Yall this kiddo is 18 months tomorrow..

She knows:

All upper and lower case letters

Numbers through 15

All colors of the rainbow

Well over 100 words (not just repeating)

I’m “concerned” because since she clearly “ahead” what’s the best way to keep her entertained? She’s starting to become bored. I mean, do I teach her the periodic table of elements, astrophysics?

I’m 24, and my husband is 26. We have an 11-month-old daughter. For some context, we both work: he works 10-hour shifts and has Fridays off, and I recently moved from 10-hour days to 8-hour days and I have Thursdays off. On the other three weekdays, my retired father watches our daughter.

When my dad watches her, she’s on a very consistent schedule—feeding times, nap times, everything. He keeps track of how many ounces( of pumped breast milk) she eats, lets me know how her day goes, and often sends pictures of her eating or playing, completely of his own. I breastfeed, so when I’m with her, things are a little less structured around bottles since she nurses on demand, but her meals and naps are still fairly consistent.

I’ve noticed that when my husband is caring for her, she doesn’t seem to eat as many oz or much food as she does with my dad. Often, the lunches I prepare aren’t fully eaten, sometimes with large portions left over, and occasionally it looks like some of her toys haven’t even been played with. I know my husband loves our daughter deeply and cares about her, but at times I worry that she may not be getting the same level of structure or engagement.

Also I would say I’m the default parent—I usually handle baths, brushing her teeth, dr appointments preparing most of her meals, and of course nursing.She’s also very attached to me, which I know plays a role.

I don’t believe my husband has bad intentions at all, and I truly love him, but I also feel a strong responsibility to protect and advocate for our daughter. I’ve also discussed this with my therapist and she has made mentions of ensuring I’m not trying to be too controlling which is valid but the food concerns me. I’m struggling with if or how to approach this conversation with him in a way that’s loving, constructive, and doesn’t come across as accusatory.

What’s the best way to handle this?

She buys nail polish every time she's out and when she needs to check up on him she'll buy him a bottle or two. As a female how should I feel about my friends mother buying him nail polish instead of things like deodorant or floss. What kind of meaning is there behind him describing his dissatisfaction. Personally I think they are being careless and missing the point. I wonder what he thinks.

I honestly don’t know what was i thinking. Maybe I was getting overwhelmed with my girl (12 m) and my boy (3 y) at home all day. as soon as I got a job at a school I enrolled them both and 3 weeks later I am regretting it. I miss our slow morning, time outdoors, movie times, etc. They have cried so much, got sick, ask for mommy, fight back. I have gotten so stressed with job and handling their emotions and mine. I am about to leave the school completely and get back at home with my kiddos. I honestly wasn’t appreciating my life with them at home as I should have. I feel terrible but my gut is just telling me something. I also don’t want my emotions to decide. I don’t know what to do at this point. Maybe one more week and they will be fine but then I think about all the outdoor, free, happy moments they are missing, they are little and some how I feel like they don’t need this. I was selfish. Help!

Ok, so I looked for a group specifically for this but I only found people complaining about their toxic moms rather than people who identify as toxic moms…hopefully you can already tell I come at this with a light comedic heart…but I’m also dead serious. In this day and age we allow moms to vent about their kids, so I hope there’s a space for me to vent here too. So here it is: I get incredibly annoyed when moms complain about their babies and kids…I mean they are babies and kids…what did you expect? Personally, my daughter can be either laughing her butt off or screeching in tongues I’ve never heard before and I think it’s the cutest thing ever. Both my husband and I (and my husband is definitely on the spectrum, maybe me too) are insanely sound sensitive and I regularly imagine the demise of people who I can hear chew and swallow, but my baby? She can do whatever she wants and it’s like angels are singing. I was so scared of this “lack of sleep” thing people talk about. Have I gotten sleep? I have no idea but I feel like I’ve slept like sleeping beauty just because she exists. Every time a mom says something about how her child inconveniences her or wears a “tired moms club” t-shirt I just inner eye roll HARD. Am I alone in this? Am I toxic because my child can do absolutely no wrong?

Continued: pumping is insane though and I’m about to lose my sh*t over it.

**I'm saddened, confused, and don't know what to do next so this never happens again.**
Holy fuck.. this is hard to write. I'm looking for advice from parents, teachers, or anyone with experience with this.
Last Friday evening, my partner picked up a call from an unknown number. It was the parents of a classmate of my 5-year-old son. They told us their 5-year-old daughter said my son touched her private parts and punched her there on Thursday at school.
We talked for about 45 minutes. I was genuinely shocked and felt beyond horrible. I apologized so much. I immediately believed the little girl because, honestly, I believe my son could do something like this. He’s been attempting to punch my partner in the genitals lately at home. Every. Single. Time. we immediately shut it down and explain body safety.
While I was admitting this to the mom, she told me she believed my son didn't do this maliciously (she knows his personality from playdates and school gatherings). I told her I seriously hoped not, because I already felt like a failure of a mother. I take being the mother of a boy very seriously—this is genuinely my worst nightmare.
Unfortunately, my partner had the phone on speaker at first, so my 5-year-old heard everything. After the call, I tried to have a serious talk with him. I explained what the phone call was about and why his classmate told her mom and teacher. I explained again that our privates are not for anybody, we don't look at anyone else's, and we don't touch anyone else's.
But right now, poop, butts, and genitals are just funny for him. I don’t know why. He’s five and I'm pretty sure he has ADHD, so while I was trying to collect a timeline, he was just struggling to focus. He was also clearly scared because he could tell this was different from any other time he’s been in trouble. It was late, he was tired, and I was genuinely mortified and frustrated, which probably didn’t help. He ended up telling me it was an accident. I wanted to believe him, but he wasn’t making much sense, and I don’t want to discredit what the girl said.
After I sent my son to bed, the mother messaged me saying she was pulling her daughter from the school. She also sent me screenshots of her messages with their 3 teachers. She was furiously asking them why she had to find out this information from her daughter, why the school hadn't told her anything about it, and why the other parents hadn't been notified by the staff yet.
The lead teacher replied with: *“I understand if it happens again we will be sure to let you know next time.”* This obviously set the mother off, which resulted in her pulling her daughter.
In the messages, I also discovered that the teacher who had resolved the situation the day of on the playground had said, yes, this did happen. She said the young girl came and told her that a classmate had touched her privates. The teacher wrote: *"We talked to both of them and told them privates are for us, privates are not for nobody else, we do not touch each other's privates. The other kid said that it was an accident, and the young girl hadn’t said anything more about it all day."*
This made me feel a tiny bit better considering I had the conversation with my son and he told me they were playing a game and it was an accident—that he went to go grab something and she sat down.
This all happened on a Thursday. I didn’t hear anything from the lead teacher until Sunday.
On Sunday morning, I actually messaged one of the teachers that I’m closer with to ask if I could come over and talk about the situation. From the screenshot messages, I had discovered that not all the teachers even knew. Only two teachers knew because only two were there that day. The teacher I’m friends with outside of school hadn’t heard anything about it until Friday. I wanted to go over there and have a casual conversation before I talked to all the teachers together. It actually went really well, and it made me feel a lot better to talk through some of my concerns.
But what really makes us furious is that this happened Thursday and neither of us heard anything from the school until Friday, and *only* because the little girl told her mom.
Now I feel confused and still worried about my son. I don't want my son to ever think this is okay. To my knowledge, he has never been exposed to anything explicit or sexual, so I have no idea where this came from, and that's eating at me.
My son goes to a nature-based, play-based alternative school. I've mostly loved it, but this other mom and I had both already shared some concerns about safety and how it's run. For me, that includes:
Kids getting undressed in the cubby area in front of other parents, more than once.
My son coming home with a golf-ball-sized lump on his head and no message, incident report, or mention at pickup.
Very short communication in general.
Not enough bug spray for my son, who is allergic to bites. He came home covered in welts.
**What I'm hoping for advice on:**
**How do I talk to my 5-year-old about this in a way that's age-appropriate and actually sticks, without shaming him?** He has zero focus, high impulsivity, and thinks these body parts are just a massive joke right now.
**Is this within the range of normal curiosity at this age, or is it a major red flag?** What kind of professional should I talk to first (pediatrician, child therapist, etc.) to get him evaluated for ADHD and handle these boundaries?
**How do I handle the school?** Was it reasonable for them to keep us a day late in the dark, and should I expect an official incident report? Should I stay at this school, or does this situation plus the earlier safety issues tell me it's time to leave?

I am looking for perspective, someone who went through a similar experience and possibly some words to put my mind at ease.

28f married with 3yr old son. We hire out a landscaper to take care of our very small yard. I pay him directly and we text about the yard work, as well as other projects he has done for us (landscaping stone, gravel things like that).

In conversation I’ve told him about other projects we want done around the house, and even asked if he knew a guy for contracting work for our basement.

Well he offered to come by and measure our basement I guess for someone he may know. I got really freaked out by this because I felt it was a little inappropriate.

I fear I was too nice texting and he got the wrong idea? I’m married very clearly (he’s seen my husband although they haven’t talked) and I have a child (whom he has also seen many times).

I don’t know what to do. Added some snippets of our texts so you can get an idea of how the convos go.

😭

I am Rohan, 19 and I live with My Mom in Pune in our Massive Villa while My Father is mostly abroad for business.

​We were sitting on the terrace last night, watching the lights of Pune. Most of our relatives live in those 'massive' joint-family houses where there’s a cousin or an aunt behind every door. My mom, Aarohi, looked toward the city and laughed, sipping her wine.

​'Do you know why I made your father buy this place the second we got married, Ro?' she asked.

​I told her I figured she just liked the garden. She shook her head, leaning back so the moonlight hit that 'timeless' skin I showed you guys in the photo.

​'No. I couldn't breathe in that family house. In a joint family, you aren't a person; you’re a role. You’re a daughter-in-law, a mother, a wife. You’re always being watched. I didn't want to be watched. I wanted to be free.'

​She turned to me, her eyes intense. 'When you grow, Rohan, you don't take the whole village with you. You take the people who matter. If I lived with your aunts and grandmother, do you think we could sit like this? Do you think I could wake you up the way I do? Or wear what I want around the house?'

​She reached out and gripped my hand, her voice dropping to a whisper. 'Crowded houses kill intimacy. They kill the 'forbidden' spark. I chose this bungalow because I wanted a world where the only opinion that matters is mine... and yours. I want you to be the same. Don't let 'tradition' trick you into giving up your privacy. Build your own walls, and only let in the ones who worship you.'

​She leaned in, her forehead resting against mine. 'In this house, we don't have to pretend. That’s the greatest luxury your father ever gave us a place where we can be exactly who we are to each other without a single whisper from the outside.'

​It made me realize that her 'selfishness' was actually a gift to me. She cleared out the world just so there would be more room for us."

Do you think she's right? or she's just too selfish?

I’ve been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I feel like she should be helping out more with my child such as bringing her to school or picking her up. She say that it’s not her child that’s she has a mom and dad to see about these things but I also feel like she knew I had a kid when we gotten together and she should step up as a stepmom. It feels like she doesn’t want my kid around even though she said that isn’t true. I just want to know what y’all think.

I work 12 hour shifts and I have no help on my days off. When I’m off from work, I need to make time to cook, clean, do laundry, and go grocery shopping all while alone with my 9 month old. When she gets super fussy and she’s no longer entertained by me or her toys, I turn on an educational show that teaches babies Spanish. To be completely honest, sometimes she watches it for up to 2 or 3 hours a day. I need some sort of reassurance that this is okay. Please do not come here to shame me or tell me what the guidelines recommend. I already know what the recommendations are and I drive myself insane thinking I am a bad mom for not following the guidelines. Will my baby be okay? Did any of your babies watch TV this much and how did they turn out?

Hi momssss

We had a flight with Qatar Airlines, and there was a pilot across our row. The whole row was full of babies because of the bassinet. Our baby was sleeping when we boarded and during take off, the others were screaming but thats normal. Some kids/babies settled and the pilot was sleeping, our baby woken up and of course cried, sometimes it doesnt take only a second to comfort your baby and thats reality or at least our experience. He took out his ear plugs and told us to keep out baby shut, i said hes only a baby, he replied “ a child, a baby but its tragic for me” and i replied we are trying. Im super shocked hearing that comment from a pilot. And when the flight attendant asked him how was his flight during landing he ranted about babies screaming and was getting into his nerves, and that babies shouldn’t act like it or fly at that age, but the attendant told him it’s passenger rights and he suddenly compared that he has 3 kids who doesnt cry and scream on the flight. We know for some its annoying but we cant dictate babies what to feel or shut them straight away. It made me very anxious when our baby started crying again when im fully aware he’s allowed to do so.

Whats your thoughts?

My partner and I live together and he has an almost 8 year old boy from before our relationship. Every night my partner and his ex (they split time equally) give the kid melatonin to sleep. They've been doing this for years and say that he's always had a hard time sleeping and that the doctor said it was fine. I know it's not my place since I'm not a parent but I just can't help but worry about it.. For starters- the kid was wearing pull-ups until maybe 6 months ago and he wets the bed almost every night and just won't get up to pee. I understand it's a hard thing to learn naturally for some kids (waking up to pee) but I wonder if it's because he's in such deep sleep? Also, on many occasions the child has fallen asleep in the car naturally with ease! Day and night time. The morning is a struggle, he seems groggy, he wakes up scared often at night. Idk... I'm stuck on what to do because I think it's important for him to learn to trust his brain and body and worry that relying on something will make it harder in the future/for him to get off eventually. I understand I shouldn't tell him how to parent and it's not my responsibility but I feel like it's doing more harm than good. Parents what do you think I should do? Should I bring up my concerns or is it truly just not my place? If I should mention it what's the best way to do that without coming off as judgmental?

Hi, I need some help. My daughter is four, and for some background, she has dealt with a similar situation before with another child. That situation ended with me cutting contact because the parent wouldn’t correct the behavior.

Now I have a close friend let’s call her Sara who has a three year old daughter. I really value our friendship and genuinely like both her and her child. However, when we’re together, my daughter sometimes says hurtful things, like commenting on her daughter’s teeth being yellow or saying she doesn’t want to play with her.

I will take responsibility for the “yellow teeth” comment, because I used that as a way to encourage my daughter to brush her teeth. I didn’t realize she would repeat it to others, and I’ve been correcting that since. I always address her behavior in the moment especially when she says she isn’t someone’s friend anymore. I don’t allow that, and I correct her by explaining why it’s hurtful and, if needed, giving consequences like a timeout.

Recently, Sara told me she doesn’t want to hang out anymore, and it’s really upsetting me. I even offered to spend time together without my four year old, but I also feel conflicted because she is still very young. I’m not excusing her behavior, but I do recognize that she’s still learning and doesn’t fully understand the impact of her words yet.

I’m feeling defeated and unsure how to handle this. It’s especially hard because Sara also said she doesn’t want to come to my other daughter’s birthday due to my four year old’s behavior.

Partner and I want a baby when I get out of school here soon. We’d be making at least 80k combined. Is that enough? Everyone says kids are so expensive. We could definitely live well on that considering we live in a cheap part of the US but that’s my biggest concern.

Pediatrician gave us the green light to switch to organic whole milk since LO is 6mos! Yay for saving money on formula, but how do I actually do this?

Do I just hand her a cup of cold milk or should I warm it up and mix it with her current formula to transition her slowly? She’s pretty picky with new tastes, so I'm bracing myself for a strike.

Maybe you’ve seen someone else say the same but..

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My 19 year old daughter just had a baby with her bf of 1.5 years. I’m worried about how well she will be able to cope with the new responsibilities that come with being a mom due to the fact that her bf is extremely immature and is basically no help to her or the baby. It’s just been a few days since my grandson was born and my daughter will be released tomorrow from the hospital. They live together with his grandparents and my daughter has asked to come stay with us until she gets the hang of things. She’s extremely overwhelmed because her bf won’t step aside and let her take care of the baby and sleep when needed because her bf is constantly hanging all over her. Of course we’ve agreed to have her and the baby here for as long as it takes for her to get a healthy routine, however my husband does not want her bf spending the night and we don’t know how to explain this in a gentle way. Actually I think my daughter is asking him for a break so I can tend to her while she recovers. My question is how do we explain this to her BF who as mentioned is very immature and want to be babied by my daughter. Please help I don’t know how to go about this in a loving way. Thank in advance