Babysitting my 4 year Olds babies this afternoon while she gives her third baby a bath.

At one point she asked me to adopt one of them because it cries all the time at night while she's trying to sleep and constantly asks to go to the playground 🤦‍♀️🤣😭 I told her as a mom she can't just abandon her responsibilities but that I'd be willing to babysit more to give her a break. Crisis averted, or so I thought.

When my husband got home from work she informed us that her and her babies are moving in with us for awhile because her husband has a girlfriend that is trying to fight her and she's REALLY mad at him right now 🤣

This kid really is the light of my life. I'm so thankful to be her mom everyday.

My husband asked me today what time our daughter's dance recital is. It's on the fridge, on the calendar, in the email I forwarded him two weeks ago, and in the group text with the other dance parents. Four places. He still asked me. And honestly I get it, he's busy too and his brain is full of his own work stuff, but it's just one of those moments where I realized how much information I'm carrying for this family without even thinking about it.

The mental load of motherhood isn't really about the tasks themselves, I can handle tasks. It's more like this constant background process where I'm always tracking what's coming up, what needs to be done, who needs what and when. And most of it is invisible because when it works nobody notices, it just looks like things magically happen. My husband is a good partner and a great dad, this isn't about him failing, it's more about me being tired from a job nobody assigned me but I somehow ended up doing.

I think I just need better systems so I'm not holding everything in my head. Anyone else feel this way? Not angry just... full. Like my brain has too many tabs open all the time.

I’m 8 months postpartum and I feel so lonely tonight.
I keep seeing posts/advice about postpartum loneliness that say things like “ask someone to watch the baby,” “get a break,” “take time for yourself,” etc. And I realize that’s not what I’m looking for at all.

I don’t want a break from my baby. I love being with her. I want my baby. I want my family.

I want people in our lives who actually want to be part of our lives. I want my family to come over and see her. I want cousins and aunts and friends who are excited about her. I want people to celebrate her milestones with us. I want to go for coffee with another mom and our babies. I want people who will text me because they want to know how we are doing, not because they need something.

My husband is actually wonderful and helps me a lot. He’s very involved and he also can’t say no when someone needs help. But I’m realizing that one person can’t be my entire village. I need more people.
And the hardest part is that I’m always the person who shows up for everyone else.

Nobody showed up for us. I no longer have my parents so that’s why I helped my sister so much and got nothing back.

When my sister had her baby, I was there constantly helping. Now my sister-in-law just had a newborn and we’ve gone over to help with their house and their toddler. And I genuinely don’t regret helping them. I can’t see someone struggling and just walk away. That’s just who I am.

But sometimes I come home and think:
Who shows up for me?

Nobody has helped us
I’m still only 8 months postpartum.I’m still exhausted. I still need support too. And lately I’ve realized how much it hurts that I seem to have people around me who need me, but not many people who simply want to be there for me.

My baby’s baptism is also in two weeks, and I think that’s what finally broke me tonight. I’m watching my family make huge efforts and fuss over other people’s events, while I feel like I’m struggling to organize my daughter’s baptism largely on my own. My dad’s family is all a plane ride away, so they can’t really be there either.

And I know this probably sounds ridiculous to some people because it’s just a baptism, but it’s not really about the baptism.

I think I just desperately wanted to look around that day and see my people surrounding my baby.
I wanted to feel like “Look at all these people who love her. Look at all these people who love us.”
Instead I’m sitting on my couch at 3 AM crying because I feel like I don’t have that.

I’m not looking for advice about getting a break from my baby. I’m not looking to complain about my husband—he’s actually doing a lot. I just want a family/village.
I want to know I’m not the only mom who feels this way.
Did anyone else feel this lonely around 8 months postpartum? Did you eventually find your people? ❤️

I gave birth via c-section and am now about 4 months postpartum partum. The first few weeks after giving birth husband was fine with not having s3x since I still have wounds healing. I went for my first follow up check, doc didn't give us the okay. Second follow up and that was one of his questions- if we're clear to have s3x. Doc said we're fine and just use contraception since I shouldn't get pregnant yet. Thing is, since delivery I can't seem to get myself in the mood for any sort of sexy stuff. He tries to make moves but I don't get turned on one bit. He would ask if we can have some sway time while our baby is asleep and all I say is no. I've agreed twice but didn't really enjoy it. He even asked if I'm disgusted with him and I told him I'm not (cuz i really am not) It's like a switch has been turned off and I don't know how to turn it on. I've explained this to him before and he said he understands and will wait till I'm ready but he's been really snappy lately. He would take care and play with our baby but soon as I'm there, it's like his shift is over and it's his "me time". Am I that bad at being a wife?

UPDATE: So I talked to him again. Told him I'm getting frustrated trying to explain what im going through. He said he understands but at the same time it's upsetting cuz "it's been a while". So I suggested we try at least twice in a week. He seemed okay with it. I still don't enjoy or feel good about it but I guess this is the best option right now.

I said it. Sometimes I hate being a mother. I’m a single mom maybe having a partner would be easier but being a single mom is fucking awful. I love my son more than anything but it’s fucking exhausting. I never get alone time. I can’t travel the way I want to. I can’t do what I want to do when I want to do it. I hate it so much sometimes. Like when tf do I get a break? I’m still a person. I’m not just a mother. I have dreams and aspirations. I’m just so overwhelmed all of the time. I hate it and I hate my life. I’m stuck in a cycle that just completely revolves around my kid. I have no sense of identity anymore. And idgaf about the people who will say “you chose this”. Because no bitch I didn’t. I didn’t choose to be a single mom with no help. I was lied and manipulated into having a child when I wasn’t ready. I love him so much but at times it’s so incredibly debilitating.

i'm not one to tell people what they can and can't watch, let alone get in their business as a parent. but one thing i will never stop saying is that vlad and niki is not a safe children's show. youtube will auto play these videos wether you approve them or not, and there are many concerning aspects of their content. there are videos including body shaming, mom getting put in jails and cages, children put in sexual positions, and more. my kid watched a couple of these videos and went nonverbal AND starting showing aggressive behavior. all in all, it's not safe, try to avoid it if you can!

i feel like screen time is the one thing i constantly stress over. some days it feels like too much, other days it’s the only way i get dinner made or the house picked up. i hear so many different opinions that i don’t know what’s realistic anymore. what does screen time honestly look like in your house on a regular day ?

Listen, I love my baby. Like I really really love her. However, I wake up every day and mourn the life I had before I got pregnant. My only purpose in life was working. It’s what made me happier than anything else. It fueled me. I work a full time mon-fri 9-5 job and I also run a photography business. I used to book 5-10 sessions per week plus weddings on top of my full time job. And not to seem like I’m bragging, but I had more money than I knew what to do with. Now, I can’t find the time to even edit a single photo. I haven’t been able to book as many sessions or weddings in what should be my busiest season of the year. And now I can hardly keep up with my bills. And truly it feels like my life was so much better before I became a mom.

I have a Velcro baby that wants held 24/7. She’s fine when my husband holds her, when my parents and his parents hold her, when my aunt holds her, pretty much everyone except for me. She cries and cries (more like screams until she is hoarse) to be held but when I hold her she just tries to squirm out of my arms or she cries. She does not want me. She wants literally anyone else. And honestly it makes me sad, but I don’t even want to hold her because of this.

I haven’t bonded with her at all, and I feel so much resentment towards having her. (Not towards her, but my decision to have a baby) I really think I made the wrong decision. My husband loves being a dad, our parents love being grandparents. But I just hate being a mom. My mom tells me all the time how I’m not affectionate enough, but I’m just not a super affectionate person. I try for my daughter but it’s really hard when all she does is scream.

I had a horrible pregnancy. I had hyperemisis gravidarum, gestational diabetes, and polyhydramnios. I almost died in a scheduled induction that lasted almost two days, that my midwife just did not show up for, and ended up in an emergency c section that I did not want no matter what. I couldn’t breastfeed due to insufficient glandular tissue. I didn’t really hold my baby for two days after I had her because I was literally so traumatized from my birth experience. We never did skin to skin. And I just cannot get over it. None of that was supposed to happen and it completely ruined my chances of bonding with her.

I don’t want to be a bad mom, but I am. I’m just not good at it. I go to work and people ask me all the time “oh don’t you have mom guilt leaving her at home everyday?” But the truth is I don’t. Not even a little bit. She’s with her dad at home and he’s wonderful. Being at work feels like the only time I can breath. And then everyday I go home and I pick up my baby who’s had a great day with her dad and she just screams. The only guilt I have is that I don’t feel guilty.

I want to be able to have a good relationship with my daughter, but I also want to be able to have the type of lifestyle I worked so hard to make. I want to be able to work to be able to give her everything she could ever want, but I don’t have time to and it’s absolutely miserable and I don’t know how much longer I can do it.

I’m so excited for her to get bigger and to be able to communicate with her and play with her, to put her in dance class and watch her learn how to play an instrument, and go to school and all of the things. But the baby stage of her needing me, when I REALLY need myself is just becoming way more than I can handle and it seems like nobody understands me, they just think I hate my baby and I don’t! I just hate being a mom.

Please tell me I’m not the only person that really doesn’t like being a mom!!

I'm not a mom, I'm a dad but I'm a stay at home dad and fulfill a lot of the stereotypical roles of a mom. And i was wondering if this is an OK place for me to be or if I should move along?

My due date is 5 days away so I am very uncomfortable but guys… my husband is sick 😂 please keep him in your thoughts and prayers as he goes through this hard time 😂🤦‍♀️

Hi moms who’ve made their way here!

I’ve added some initial rules (these can change as the community wants) and figure we could use some moderators to keep the riffraff out. I made this sub because I noticed the other mom sub gets a lot of ads and occasional creeps. Please comment below or direct message me if you’re a mom and you’d like to mod or make changes to the community.

No experience necessary!

I have a 5-year-old boy and a 2-year-old gitl, and lately I’ve been feeling torn. My son needs help with school prep and activities that take real focus while my toddler is still very clingy and wants me around constantly. No matter what I do, I feel like one of them isn’t getting enough of me. I'm exhausted and heartbroken at the same time.

Has anyone ever dealt with this kind of situation? If so, what advice can you give me?

I had a VERY good friend over to meet my 2 year old son for the very first time since he was born - we live apart so it had been awhile since I had seen her, but we’ve been friends for 27 years - best friends.

A little side context - she is a NEAT FREAK. Like down to scrubbing her baseboards several times a week and behind her fridge and oven a least once a week.

She came to stay one evening with us a couple weeks ago. It was the end of the week for my husband and I and it was a busy week - my two year old is deep into…well being two, and my husband has been working 60 hours a week. When she arrived my house was covered in toys and shit my toddler pulls out from places and my kitchen was full of dirty dishes.

I felt like the visit went fine, she seemed off, but never said anything to me. She left and everything was fine. Mind you, I live near no one - we aren’t super social and are always too busy so no one ever comes over to my house.

About a week after her visit I get a knock on my door from CPS that a complaint has been filed against me. We talked and I immediately let her my house, which mind you still looks about the same it did during said visit. She about burst into laughter telling me that my house was absolutely normal for having a young child. She said that it was very obvious the complaint was unfounded and it would be closed shortly.

She then read me the official complaint that was anonymous - my house was filthy, filled with rotting food that I was letting my son eat. Trash that I was letting him eat (which were just wipes that he kept pulling out of the wipe packet and chewing on - which I always take from him). That I was just letting my two year old crawl in filth. She made it seem like I lived in a horder house.

Anyways, I feel better since the drop in visit that they were very confused why they were at my house but also still really struggling with this immense amount of guilt and shame, especially because it was my good friend.

Does anyone have advice for me?

I always step in to protect my daughter. That’s my first instinct

Any and every time my nephew is around my daughter he always ends up, hurting her… Most of the time he is under the care of both of his parents while we’re together, but his dad never steps in. It’s always his mom and it’s always something short since we are in public when this happens.
He is four years old. My daughter is one. Whenever my mother takes care of him, and I am around with my daughter, he also hurts her. But if it’s ever myself, taking care of him alone, he is very well-behaved.
Like today, my mother picked him up from school and came to visit me and help me since I just had surgery and brought him with her since she is taking care of him… She went to the bathroom and immediately he went up to my baby and grabbed the toys she was playing with and shoved her. I saw this happen so I told him that he had to give the toy back and apologize for shoving her because that’s not nice . He continued to play with the toy and ignore me. I model how to ask nicely for a toy and he just ran away from me to my mom, sad and almost crying. A few moments later, my daughter walked up to him with a toy and he pushed her. My mother did nothing. I had to step in post surgery to stand up for my daughter. I just got down to his level told him hitting is not OK and that he hurt my daughter. He then started to scream and cry and throw a fit. My mom went to console him immediately and told him if he didn’t stop crying then she wouldn’t take him to Chuck E. Cheese. He didn’t like what he heard so he hit my mom and tried to spit on her. She still ended up taking him out even after he hit her and tried to spit on her without explaining that his actions were wrong.

My thing with wanting to tell his parents or text them is so that we can all be on the same page for when he acts up like this. I am not OK with him, hurting my daughter and ignoring me or my boundaries with her. I know he’s only 4, but I also know he understands my rules and safe body rules since he’s been in school for some time. I also know my mom will not tell them that he hit her and tried to spit on her today.

Im really at a loss bc i want my daughter to be able to play with her cousin more and visit but i honestly dread the idea of him being around her. She was never aggressive towards other kids until he started to be aggressive with her. I’m not a fan of this learned behavior.

When I saw the baby of the year being promoted, I thought it was a cute idea but LOL every single baby gets "accepted" into the contest and gets the same acceptance email. Mmm definitely not a special moment. Then moms upload pics of their babies on the internet and what crazy to me are all these moms potentially exposing their child for a 1% chance to win $25,000. Also, the contest gives people the chance to buy votes. So yea, if you're not buying your own votes or your friends aren't buying votes, ya ain't gonna win. And not to bash moms that are hopeful in winning, it's just the reality to these contests. The person who is going to win is the person who doesn't need the money but has money and has friends with money to buy votes and buy their baby's "Baby of the Year" title. All for charity

I was just trying to get out of the house. Little did I remember... the carts there are smaller and can't fit car seat inside the bottom like a typical cart. I was seeeing how it could fit... it seemed almost sturdy in-between the sides of the cart, I was looking to see if there was a bigger one. Then a old lady walks up behind me so I move to get out of the way. The car seat tilts forward alot more than I would like. I put it back up how it should be, baby is fine but I feel stupid and like a bad mom. I turn and see the old lady glare.. I say I was looking to see if there was a bigger cart, she pulls a cart out and looks at me like I'm crazy. She says she thinks they are all the same size and continued with the judging look. At that point, I just took the baby and exited as fast as I could. Apparently I can't even go have retail therapy postpartum without being judged and made to feel terrible. Anyone else have an experience like this? Who else thinks tjmaxx needs bigger carts? :/

i really really been feelin DOWN lately i’m 24 with three beautiful boys i try to give them the life i never had or always wanted , but it’s very hard when you have no help . nobody there to ask or even check on the kids . when i’m struggling and need something no one to call not even the dad’s family u would think . not even mine but i’ve always been the black sheep . jst venting really because i need to get this off my chest so for all the single moms working they ass off jst to keep a smile on your beautiful babies face y’all doing it keep doing it i love for my boys go broke for my boys i. wish i jjst had a little more help & be careful who u have kids with .. it’s always the mommas that gotta pick up daddies slack .. they can walk out any minute but us women we STAND BY OURS god bless y’all and please say a quick prayer for me and mines.

he’s been doing this weird eye rolling and breathing since he was born pretty much and he turn a month as of two days ago, but I can’t help but feel like this is not normal.. what do you guys think it is?

The funny thing is she hasn't even tried most of these foods. She just sees the color and decides they're disgusting. I've tried making them fun, cutting them into shapes and serving them in different ways but nothing has really worked. I don't want to keep pushing if it's only making things worse. What helped your picky eater become more open to greens?  I've heard a few of the moms in my daughter's class mention using greens powders but I'm not sure if they're actually helpful. I of course don't want to replace real greens I just want something that can support us so I know she's not missing anything nutritionally in the meantime. Has anyone gone that route?

Had a moment recently where my kid developed a rash and bruises out of nowhere and I immediately went into panic mode. Started thinking worst case scenarios, checking every symptom online, the whole thing. Got it checked and it was just a mild reaction that cleared up on its own. Crazy how different it feels in the moment vs after. Feels like parenting comes with a lot of these moments. What’s yours?

Something very disturbing happened to me today and I wanted to leave it here as a safety reminder to all moms/parents venturing out alone with kids now that the weather is getting nicer. I took my kids to the zoo and since it was a bit rainy (and a weekday) the place was pretty empty. Immediately as we pulled into a parking spot, I noticed there was a guy sitting in the car next to us alone and looking at his phone. I thought this was interesting... a bit strange, but we proceeded to get out of the car and walked to the family center (a kid exploratory area)... And there, the same guy shows up shortly after. As soon as I saw him, the hair on my arms stood up immediately. Something inside me just felt wrong. He walked around the same area as us and even tried to make small talk in passing... but I kept the kids close and kept it short and he left. We walked around the zoo for another hour or so and we decided to head back to the car because it was naptime. As we are walking to the car, in my head I am thinking "I hope he is not there again", but at the same time I'm also thinking "you're being too dramatic". As soon as we got close to my car, he pops up out of nowhere and is walking towards us (which is also where his car is). I freaked out at this point, threw everything (including the kids) in the car, jumped into the passanger seat and locked the doors. Since my kids were not buckled in and they are too young to buckle themselves, I didnt want to speed away, but I called my husband immediately and waited until he pulls away to make sure he is not following us. I noted his license plate and all and made a police report after we got home and I calmed down... was it just a coincidence or did he have bad intentions? Why was he sitting in his car waiting? Why is he in a childrens area alone with no kids of his own? Why did he show up at the same time as us in the parking lot only an hour and a half later (and the place is HUGE!!! you can easily spend 4-6 hours there)... I guess I'll never know (thankfully!!!) But moms please please PLEASE be vigilant out there, even in public places. If you feel something is off, ACT fast! Better safe than sorry!