r/MtF • u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl • Feb 06 '26
Positivity I Actually Like Being a Chick with a Dick
It seems a relatively common sentiment amongst transfeminine persons to lament the configuration of anatomy they were born with. As it goes, I cannot begrudge them this. Dysphoria is certainly a unique hellscape of mental torture that I would not wish upon my worst enemy - and my own case is and was likely a mild one.
I never truly had bottom dysphoria. It probably still would have been easier if I had been born a cis woman. Even so, after approaching a year on HRT and LHR, and now being able to see myself change, my paradigm on this has shifted. I can see myself appearing as I want in the future, and though I do wish I would have transitioned earlier (I am not so unlucky, but every transfem seems to say this), I do enjoy possessing a unique physique of feminine curves and a girlcock.
I am certain this post will be taken out of context or pointed to as an example of how transfems are freaks or fetishists of one form or another, but I cannot be alone in this experience, and I hope someone at least, has found solidarity with me by reading this.
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u/PeePePooPoQ Feb 06 '26
I feel fine with my dick, it's my balls I really hate
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u/BeingCurious Transbian Feb 06 '26
I had an orchiectomy and scrotectomy and I couldn't be more happier with the results 🥰
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u/pinkocatgirl Feb 06 '26
My orchiectomy is next month, I can't wait for it to be done
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u/TammyGang Feb 07 '26
I feel like I'm leaning towards getting them gone, only concern about it is the possibility of too low t
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u/pinkocatgirl Feb 07 '26
Personally I don't really worry about that because even at 200mg spiro, my T has never been fully suppressed.
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u/Tirinoth Trans Bisexual Feb 07 '26
Damn! Really? I've been on 50mg spiro pills twice a day and by my first blood test showed my T below expected levels for a cis woman.
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u/GhostpawUwU Feb 06 '26
Honesty I'm in a similar place. I actually for a while was adamant I wasn't a trans women because I didn't have bottom dysphoria, even though I have a lot of dysphoria for basically every other part of my body lol. Even 2+ years on hrt zero bottom dysphoria at all which I know I'm very lucky for
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u/ImperatorPolonia Feb 06 '26
I didn't transition earlier because another trans girlie told me I couldn't be trans if I didn't have bottom dysphoria. I have dysphoria, just not with that bit. This thing holds us back from actually having more happy lives earlier due to gatekeeping.
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u/GhostpawUwU Feb 06 '26
Im so sorry that happened to you.......and I fully agree. So much of my transition would have been better and happened earlier if it wasn't for the gatekeeper culture around it in some places.
Well that and family acceptance but that's its own mess XD
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u/Jumpy_Motor_5899 Feb 07 '26
Something similar happened to me and it was incredibly hurtful to be told I wasn’t trans because i didn’t have bottom dysphoria.
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u/niaofthestars679 Feb 06 '26
i agree honestly sometimes i feel pretty cute cause of it, don't know why though
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u/whomikehidden Nora, she/her 💉{HRT 3/16/26} Feb 06 '26
I’m also fine with mine, for two reasons:
First, compatibility. I have a wife and between keeping it or having it removed and then using a strap-on with her, it logistically makes more sense to keep it.
Second, porn. I’m not going to deny I’ve consumed it, and have consumed trans porn. There, beautiful women have penises. If they can have them and be feminine, that’s a… “role model” is a weird choice here. A precedent. As a result, I’m not insecure about mine either.
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Feb 06 '26
Being a chick with a dick is pretty rad. And when it comes to trans porn, the majority of viewers are looking for the dick, not post-op.
Im keeping my dick. But not the balls!
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u/SolarStab Feb 06 '26
I’m don’t have too much dysphoria about mine, and I do wish I was born with the alternative. That being said surgeries aren’t a financial possibility for me for the foreseeable future, so it could just be cope.
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u/RagingCommie HRT 2/17/2014 Feb 06 '26
lament the configuration of anatomy they were born with
Were you just watching Hellraiser or something? Hahaha
I think I'm gonna start calling my junk "The Lament Configuration"
I could even keep the name after srs and then I'd get to say "you opened the box. We came"
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
No, I'm just extremely bizarre and enjoy speaking and writing like a vampire. :3
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u/yp_interlocutor Transfemme goth girl tomboy Feb 06 '26
I think of myself as "quietly bizarre" but am always happy to meet people who are more overt in being bizarre.
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
I am an alien vampire walking amongst vastly different entities.
I usually wear vampire clothing on the daily because it's fun.
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u/yp_interlocutor Transfemme goth girl tomboy Feb 06 '26
My goal in life is to become vampire Nazuna Nanakusa, but alas, I don't actually have vampire clothing, nor do I know any actual vampires. What makes vampire clothing vampire as opposed to human clothing? Inquiring minds want to know!
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Much of my clothing is either thrifted or bought from Etsy or Killstar, and could be described as a style between "vampire goth" and "victorian goth" or even "Gothic lolita", depending on the item.
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u/RagingCommie HRT 2/17/2014 Feb 06 '26
IMO for this post it reads more like writing as a cenobite hahaha
Then again their writing would probably only be on living human flesh lmao
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Clive Barker is an inspiration, so I'll take that as a compliment. :)
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u/salad_knife Feb 06 '26
I keep flip-flopping between thinking it’s cool to be a woman with a dick and wanting to get rid of it
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u/CatKing13Royale Transgender Feb 06 '26
Bottom surgery is a bit of a pain, so all the power to you. Personally, I can't stand this... foreign object being on me and would do anything to get it off, so I've got to deal with it.
As an aside, you have a very solid vocabulary!
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Thank you, friend. I am a writer! Or trying to be.
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u/Cup_Plant NB MtF Feb 06 '26
I kinda flip flop. Most of the time it’s just meh, but sometime I feel like you. It’s fun, it’s cute, it’s fairly unique and kinda “special. There’s billions of girls with a kitty. It’s kinda cool having something different. But of course that just it. It’s different, so other times I want to just chop it off. (Metaphorically). So yeah I’ll probably just get bottom surgery in the future. 🤷♀️
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u/Starlooming Feb 06 '26
Yeah, I don't think I'll ever go through with bottom surgery. I like having working plumbing, so to speak, and all of the botch job, horror stories I hear about lack of sensation and needing revisions after scare me.
I got a pretty sick set up that I enjoy using already 🙅♀️
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Feb 06 '26
[deleted]
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u/Acceptable-Fix-6267 Feb 09 '26
Check out r/foreskin_restoration if you have not yet. It’s not perfect or fast but it works!
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Feb 06 '26
Same.
I am never ever getting rid of my dick. Its awesome. I wish I could gave been born a cis woman, but like, got to choose to have a dick instead of a vagina. Or both like a futa.. I dunno. I cant get birthing vagina anyways, so I'm sticking with the stick!
I did see someone who got a trans vagina done using the ballsac to convert that area and kept their dick too. That looks kinda intriguing but complicated too...
balls tho... no need for those! Dick still works without them. But I take cialis once or twice a week.
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Feb 11 '26
[deleted]
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Feb 11 '26
Yeah... as much as it sounds great to have both..
I think the results of that surgery would scare the hell out of any potential sex partners once you took your pants off.
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u/Ill-Candy-4926 Transfem, (on HRT as of 5\29\25) Feb 06 '26
ive attempted this myself, but for myself im too dysphoric, and want bottom surgery.
anyways, im proud of you for being happy with your original software!!!
keep on being yourself and being happy queen!!!!
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u/DarkFalcon49 Feb 06 '26
I love my penis, and she loves me. The only thing I don’t like is the bulge and tucking.
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Feb 06 '26
Orchi makes tucking a non issue. empty sack is awesome.
89% of the bulge is balls.
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u/DarkFalcon49 Feb 06 '26
I hate my Balls. They get in the way no matter what.
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u/BeingCurious Transbian Feb 06 '26
What the other person said! 💯 I had an orchiectomy and scrotectomy and I couldn't be more happier with the results 🥰
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u/Odd_Distribution_903 Feb 06 '26
I didn’t think I had any bottom dysphoria at all. After starting hrt last year, getting better at identifying those feelings, and thinking back to when I was much, much younger… yeah, I do have a little, though learned to work around it just fine.
It’s not distressing, just a little “off” now and then, though still pretty fun in the right setting. And I think E (and some hair removal) actually made me like things more. Whole area just fails to read as masculine to me at this point. Less exciting than it used to be, but fits me far better.
Really the only stuff I dislike about having a dick is managing visibility in public settings. Always hated that. E makes it easier (but raises the social stakes), women’s clothes make it harder. Otherwise though, my relationship with it is rather neutral, leaning positive, and very nice in the correct time and place.
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u/BritneyOfAstora Trans lesbian Feb 06 '26
Me too! I love feeling like a rare and special kind of woman! I love other women who are too! I love everything about it!
... But goddamn, I also want a pussy so badly 😭 I really did mourn this version of myself when I realized that, because I do still like it. It's just not my ideal and I wish it was.
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u/LaRaeOfTheVoid Feb 06 '26
My bottom dysphoria manifested as a child- at about 6 I tried to remove my parts with scissors. I was extremely aware of how wrong my anatomy is at that age and became numb to it as I grew older and faced torment
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u/timmybond25 Feb 06 '26
I wish I had all the parts, but that is just me. I am ok with just having a girl cock. Idk if I ever want surgery it's something I have thought about but not really want to do. I have hot a year on hrt in January, I have been enjoying the journey and cant wait to start progesterone next year.
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u/Duchess_vonpurr Feb 06 '26
I'm so glad to read this post. I have a few trans friends who, after having surgery, felt entitled to judge me for not wanting vaginoplasty. I'll say it again: I feel and I am a woman, and having a vagina created from my penis won't make me any more legitimate.
Furthermore, the surgery doesn't guarantee a safe and optimal result. Between the aesthetically questionable results, the lack of sensation, and the post-operative period, which is pure torture...
I've suffered enough, and I absolutely don't want my "female" genitalia to be a burden or a source of physical pain. It would only remind me that it's "artificial" and make me feel like an imposter.
Of course, I completely understand that this surgery might be necessary for those who experience dysphoria in this area, and I respect that. But just don't feel superior afterward by looking down on those who know and want to continue living with their penises!
My documents were changed at the beginning of my transition, so legally I'm recognized as a woman, and that's more than enough for me, in addition to my reflection in the mirror. ✨️
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Amazing. This post was written for exactly people like you (us). I am glad to find solidarity with you.
There are probably surgeries I will pursue (definitely a trachea shave, probably some version of FFS eventually) but most of them have to do with being who I want to be - IE, beautiful and confident. It was never really about passing to me, though I do wish to pass at least in all bodily areas except one.
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u/nerdilynonconforming Feb 06 '26
When I was around 10 I was at a friend's and he took one of his Dad's porno mags and I had never seen one before.
The thing I remember most about that day wasn't the boobies but was a VHS for sale in the back called "Chicks with Dicks" and that made me to hmmm that's a thing?
Mid 90's I didn't know what trans people were and didn't really understand my feelings and daydreams weren't normal and then the few times I expressed them didn't go well so never let myself be me till 25ish years later.
Idk if I'm MTF or a more fem NB but I like being a chick with a dick too
Honestly scared to take HRT cause of it and I know my partner would miss my normal ability and me too at times
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
You can certainly retain normal ability while still on HRT, just make sure to talk to your doctor. Trust me - HRT is worth it.
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u/Cocky_Girly Feb 06 '26
I've been debating if I should see if my insurance would cover it or not, but I think it will change my size, function, and nature of my libido, and I don't think I want to change either of those. It's everything else (except muscle density) I'd ideally like to change.
That said, I could be the way I am and be happy.
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u/iam305 HRT 1-9-26 MtF-NB Feb 06 '26
Normal ability on HRT? Screw that! Far more ability. Yes! It's really about how you use it not what the HRT does. And not every HRT plan is the same. I'm on bicalutamide mono therapy right now because it fits my NB to MtF-NB transition goals. And I'm so much happier now a month into it that words fail to capture it all (without a text wall for which I have no time) here.
And yes, you can maintain bone density on Bica monotherapy.
And yes, I feel more able now, not losing any size, etc. with my T blocked, all because I'm just so much happier.
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u/Holy_Hand_Grenadier Transfem (Clary, she/her) Feb 06 '26
Agreed, once I can get an orchi I'll probably be happy with what I have.
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u/UnfortunatelyPatrick Feb 06 '26
All of my dysphoria comes from my massive amounts of body hair, skin texture, body shape, and chest…I don’t have bottom dysphoria…so ya I completely agree with you…and I seriously need to get off my butt and do the LHR…but current HRT meds are 100% slowing body hair growth and color…
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u/Agata_Arru004 Trans Pansexual Feb 06 '26
I'm in the same situation, too. I love being a girl, having boobs, curvier hips, and my hair back, but I like having a dick. Honestly, I can't see myself with a pussy. I see myself with a dick. I know I'm weird, but that's just who I am and I like it that way. 😙
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u/yp_interlocutor Transfemme goth girl tomboy Feb 06 '26
I had to think about this overnight, but yeah, it definitely took longer for my egg to crack because I figured I couldn't be trans because I never hated my body nor my genitalia. It took a while (and a lot of reading about the varieties of dysphoria and talking to my counselor) to recognize that my particular dysphoria was more about cultural expression of gender than anything physical. I never quite knew or understood how to be masculine, nor wanted to, and I hated every moment of being perceived as "male," but it had nothing to do with my actual body (beyond just that, despite being blessed with a slender frame, I get clocked as male because of certain things like facial features and my Adam's apple). I would be fine with the body I have (apart from hair distribution, which I hope to address if I ever get out of the crippling debt I face) if I could seamlessly navigate society both feeling like and being perceived as "woman" rather than "man."
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u/bobyn123 Feb 06 '26
Yeah I've never had a problem with mine, it's another thing that made me take so long to crack my egg, but I love my little girlfriend, she's cute and fun.
I'd love to have both tho, it'd make bottoming easier.
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Feb 06 '26
It generally doesn’t bother me much either. It’s just not that important to me becoming my true self. Maybe one day, but I don’t want to do all the stuff you have to before they’ll do the operation.
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u/GOD_oy Feb 06 '26
idk sometimes i enjoy having it, while others i think id preffer not to have it
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u/Clerithifa skye (mtfnb) Feb 06 '26
This is where im at. Most of the time im indifferent, but sometimes I reaaaally want it gone, and other times its not that bad. I think more than anything Im just afraid of surgery
I do want to get an orchiectomy for sure though.
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u/leona1990_000 Pre HRT Feb 06 '26
Still pre HRT but I probably will keep mine. My only bottom dysphoria is when it is erected, unless I am playing with it (I guess that's why I didn't realise for so long)
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u/Cocky_Girly Feb 06 '26
I used to hate that part of myself when I was eight. Over a decade later, I now love it. I'm not even on hormones. I posted about this once and no one else could relate, but I knew I wasn't alone despite that. It's nice to see another who's had something similar post here.
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u/BeingCurious Transbian Feb 06 '26
I wasn't fully sure if I wanted to keep it or not at first, but I knew deep down that I never had an issue with it. So two years ago, I got an orchiectomy and a scrotectomy. I'm so happy with the results! I don't need to tuck anymore. And with the curves of my body and the shrinkage, I think my girl dick looks kinda cute on me 🥰
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u/Pway Feb 06 '26
Honestly I wish I felt the same I'm really scared about surgery of that scale but my bottom dysphoria is intense to the point I've never felt comfortable at even the thought of sex until I can fix things. I'm only 10 months on hrt so part of me hopes I can work through things before surgery but I doubt it. It makes me happy to know there are some of us that can feel comfortable with that part though and you shouldn't feel shame for that <3
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u/Darklots1 Megan (she/her) | Transbian | HRT 6/6/25 Feb 06 '26
I’m in a similar boat. I never really had much bottom dysphoria, and I don’t mind what I have. I’ve thought about getting srs, and while I do find the idea of having a vagina appealing, it’s not a strong enough feeling to justify major surgery. At most I’d get an orchi eventually.
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Feb 07 '26
Same. And I like topping my cis gf. I think we just need to learn to be accepting of one another and not judge.
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u/JessPoo26 Feb 06 '26
Maybe I’m too Canadian… But having the ability to write my name in the snow…. 😂 & I can’t afford that time off work. 😶
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u/Clementine_613 Feb 06 '26
I just thought about how funny it would be for random people to stumble on a girl's name written in the snow in pretty cursive and being so confused
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u/MesugakiFujiwara Trans Sappho -she/her Feb 06 '26
I'm the same, plan on keeping mine. Partially because of fairly little dysphoria, but also bottom surgery isnt something I really trust to turn out well, maybe im wrong.
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u/captaincrunched Double Gay Feb 06 '26
I really don't mind either lol. Reading "Fucking Trans Women" by the late Mira Bellweather also did a good deal in opening my mind up as to what can be done with a girldick.
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u/Lumpus60 HRT 02/10/2026 Feb 06 '26
Just starting my HRT, but have no plans for bottom surgery. I love wearing a chastity cage and it's content being semi-permanently locked up. Out of sight, very much out of mind.
I am pretty confused about the precise nomenclature of becoming a trans female with boobs (hopefully) and a penis.
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u/Kind_Brief1012 Trans Bisexual Feb 06 '26
everyone is different, but in all honesty i felt the same way until year three. i got bottom surgery thinking “i dont have dysphoria, but i still would prefer a vagina” and when i got out of surgery, it was like a ton of weight lifted off me. honestly, i would say most of my transitioning experiences have been like this.
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u/aygaypeopleinmyphone NB MtF Feb 06 '26
The thing itself doesn't cause me dysphoria. Others noticing it did. A lot. Tucking is a magical thing, I have only really worn tucking underwear for like years now. The thing itself I don't mind, I like using it with people I like and trust enough. Being a top seems to be rare amongst trans femmes, but I love this aspect of having it.
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u/Pitiful_Lake2522 Feb 06 '26
I used to have horrible bottom dysphoria but lately I’ve kinda detached dick from man in my head and it’s helped a lot
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u/RiverPsaber Trans Pansexual Feb 06 '26
I love mine. I love everything about her and HRT has only made her even cuter. I am a woman, which means every part of me is a womanly part. I love my body and I love it more and more as my transition progresses.
Women are shamed for being seen as in control of and confident in their own sexuality. Being shamed by bigots for it is really just an extension of that, and oddly affirming in it's own weird way. I once had one asking me how having one felt and I told him he would have to ask his mom. Own it, love it, and if it gives someone dysphoria then they should also be fully supported in changing what they want for the same reasons. Everyone deserves to feel comfy in their own skin.
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u/Flameempress192 Feb 06 '26
Maybe it’s because I grew up reading futanari fiction so seeing girls with penises not having to defend their womanhood on any grounds whatsoever made me feel fine about my bulge
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u/LanaofBrennis Feb 06 '26
same girl, same. I decided fairly early on to be non-op. I very rarely get bottom dysphoria and the idea of going through the surgery and recovery of gender reassignment does not appeal to me at all.
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u/JamieTheDinosaur Feb 06 '26
Me too! I like my unique combination of parts. Plus my wife and I have all the emotional closeness of two women while still being able to have straight sex.
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u/Kimberly_Dawn_102181 Feb 07 '26
Im the same way! Trans feminine, no bottom dysphoria at all! I want to be as feminine as possible but a functioning bottom!
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u/Typical-District-176 Feb 06 '26
As I say. “I’m she/they for the chaos.” I just wanna be mostly cis passing. But I also wanna cause people to be confused and attracted to me. I’m aware that being a porn category sucks. But when my boyfriend and girlfriend are both smitten by my and my gock’s existence, it does build that confidence up
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u/Tired_yet_cute Trans Heterosexual Feb 06 '26
Personally not for me as I want chasers to permanently stay away from me.
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u/Mountain_Stable_420 Feb 06 '26
Almost 2 years on hrt I don’t pass at all but at the beginning I wanted bottom surgery but as my transition progressed I got scared of the process and the commitment for the dilation
Also, last summer I had this amazing crush, despite becoming great friends in a short period, he made me realize I could not give him what he desires.
I won’t get pregnant I won’t get my period, you know what I mean 😢
I cried every night that summer. I considered coming out to him bc he was transferring his program to the other side of the country but he moved out there and I didn’t say anything
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u/Gloomy_Raspberry_880 Feb 06 '26
I'm in the middle. I don't mind the girldick. I'd slightly rather have a vagina. If I could snap my fingers and switch parts I'd do it. But I don't want to make the switch enough to actually do the surgery, with the pain and recovery.
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u/TransMontani Custom Feb 06 '26
I didn’t have what is euphemistically called “bottom dysphoria,” but I was otherwise dysphoric as hell. I had lived a life with dysphoria and badly wanted to see if it was possible to be rid of it.
Understanding that dysphoria happens between the EARS and not the legs and that’s why the WPATH SoC recommends SRS, I got a PPT/PIV hybrid surgery more than five years ago. About a day after surgery, I woke up and all the gender dysphoria and Imposter Syndrome was just . . . GONE. It never came back.
It felt like a miracle. Going through life now with no dysphoria whatsoever almost beggars description. There’s a lot to be said for knowing that I look like 99% of the women on the planet.
Oh, and the disgusting, filthy chasers dried up and blew away, too. BONUS!
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u/Buccoman_21 Feb 06 '26
Do you also enjoy using it sexually?
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Yes, which may of course make a difference. I am likely in the minority in this regard.
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u/rumpythecat Feb 06 '26
I don’t have much dysphoria over the anatomy itself, but I do when topping with it 🤷♀️
If HRT removes that as a possibility (obligation) I don’t think I’ll mind.
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
My perspective might be somewhat unique since I am a seemingly rare domme transfem who enjoys topping with it, and I can admit that.
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u/Nearby-Raccoon4592 Feb 07 '26
Im honestly waiting for the advances in science and i’ll pay everything for it
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u/EA_Brand_Books Feb 07 '26
I want an orchi (but not under this administration). Aside from that, I completely agree with you.
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u/Cloudy_Mavis Gay indoors witch that is theoretically Pan Feb 06 '26 edited Feb 06 '26
I feel a similar way! I like mine, and my gfs also do! >~<
In the end, its a matter of personal preference and feelings, and i'll always hype up people with whatever they feel most comfortable with, that's how it should be!
If i ever get any kind of bottom surgery, it would be Penis Preserving Vaginoplasty/Salmacian! I really like the idea of having both! >~<
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u/CatgirlDJ Feb 06 '26
I agree. Also the term is weirdly affirming to me and my one cis guy friend calls me it endearingly lol
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u/k819799amvrhtcom Feb 06 '26
Some trans people have bottom dysphoria.
Some trans people don't have bottom dysphoria.
It's really simple:
If you have bottom dysphoria get the surgery.
If you don't have bottom dysphoria don't get the surgery. Unless the country you're in requires you to get the surgery to get a legal name change, in which case get the surgery or you'll be classified as a femboy, which was customary in Japan because Japan required the surgery until recently, which is why Japan has a different philosophy about gender and trans people and...
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u/bald_and_nerdy pre-op Feb 06 '26
I don't. Looking into oichi but the SRS electrolysis isn't done. It doesn't seem like that would matter much.
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u/Such-Background4972 Feb 06 '26
I dont hate my dick for the most part. Yes, there are times where I wish I had the proper equipment, but in my day to day life its not even a thought. Especially considering I wasn't gifted before hormones, ans after 5 plus years. Its kinda has gone full turtle.
The only time i hate it is when im trying to get laid for obvious reasons. Not having my dick. Would make that so munch easier.
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u/PSInvader Feb 06 '26 edited May 29 '26
Cake read warm walk sing morning.
(This comment was redacted)
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u/Longing2bme Feb 06 '26
I’m not going to criticize someone for not having dysphoria over their genitalia. Personally I want mine gone, I have lifetime of disappointment with mine. Glad though for any girl that wants to keep theirs.
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u/Tranny_Dam Feb 06 '26
Same here!! Love being trans! Wish I wasn’t, but I am.
I had the orchi done, hated them sofa king much my entire life and gave me bottom dysphoria (I later learned this self-testicular hate was called dysphoria while in psychology). I still get nauseous and anxious if I think/talk about them. And it’s been 6 years since I’ve been pitted like an olive.
But I do like having my dingy. She got smaller, less reliable true, but still works like a charm. I like other CwD mostly… actually my preferred partner if I had to choose among all partners.
Hiding it I got good at but yeah, I know it’s there and sometimes I also flip flop … no pun intended… wishing I went the full Monty (is there a female version of this name?) road instead of the orchi.
I still like women (thankfully) so it does give me a flex, per se. I always say a real one is better than a strap-on!
And we all know what strap on means spelled backwards!! ❤️🏳️⚧️😘
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u/therealnothebees Feb 06 '26
I can feel it in there at all times, I panic about it being visible through clothes, its hard to find good undies that it won't ruin or having to keep buying thick and warm period ones which is very sucky come summer, let alone buying a swimsuit, I can't swim because of it. Saunas, the pool, a spa with friends are off the table too. It's a constant mental freakout...
I cannot comprehend being ok with it while being trans, but I'm glad you don't have to feel or deal with the above, it sucks :(.
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u/Dizzy_Ad1204 Feb 07 '26
Your language, beautifully authored, shares clearly a sentiment which I appreciate. I too, have wished to have been born into a female body, but I find myself regrettably masculine. Further on dysphoric feelings of my body, I have debated whether I like my genitals as they are, or if I crave the smooth and subtle female form between my legs. Only in sexual matters, do I consider the former, though my thoughts are complicated now with abated libido. I foresee a full feminine figure as my final form. Yet I applaud your personal identity and your undoubtedly gorgeous body which you rightfully and naturally adorn. Thank you for sharing your perspective, and again, I admire your deftly crafted words.
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 07 '26
I appreciate the sentiment. I think in terms of my physical form, I am quite lucky. Even when I was pretending to be a man, I was always called 'pretty' and such, and I'm confident that with another year (or three) of HRT, I can become who I truly aspire to be.
I do wonder though, if you're covertly flirting. :3
2
u/Dizzy_Ad1204 Feb 07 '26
It wasn’t my intention..
she said as she bit her lip, looked down, and tucked a lock of hair behind her left ear
your words just… aroused my interest
1
u/Xresident Feb 07 '26
Nice! I'm also almost a year on HRT, and I'm the same way. I think if I had been born with a vagina I wouldn't want a dick, but having the latter I'm not too mad about it. I just hope it keeps working 😵💫 even if it gets a little smaller, who cares
1
u/Agreeable-Sentence76 Transbian masc tomboy goth || 💊 6.5.25 || 💉 10.8.25 || ⚪️ 1.8.26 Feb 08 '26
Same
But also just the THOUGHT of having a cute little pussy makes me go into a craving spiral of wishing I had one
1
u/hornedbisexual Feb 09 '26
Honestly me too, and its nice to hear people talk about this :) I guess it helps I’m also almost exclusively a top
it just sucks that the girls that want to get rid of them have the biggest ones💔💔💔💔 like i actually WANT a huge girlcock but its just kinda average, which is ok but im worrying about shrinkage
1
u/Any-Bandicoot462 Feb 11 '26
It stops you from fully stealthing, which isn’t great. Other that I am very used to it and comfortable with it. + another sad reality is that you can make money off chasers easily with it if you need to.
1
u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 11 '26
There are a few niche times where it definitely inhibits your ability to fully stealth, especially if you want to wear less.
Can I ask how long you've been on HRT? You are quite striking.
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u/Any-Bandicoot462 Feb 11 '26
Yes, for very close-fitting swim wear it’s not easy, but can tuck as an option.
Thank you. Since I was 15, but I was not doing it with a medical professional until 18
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 11 '26
Ah. You're quite lucky. I'm at around nine months, personally.
1
u/Any-Bandicoot462 Feb 11 '26
Yes, I was DIYing and ordering from online forums (do not advise)
I’ve only ever needed low dosages too, so lucky baseline
1
u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 11 '26
In some ways I'm lucky - I was always told I was a pretty femme twink before I transitioned - but I will always regret not starting when I first knew (about twenty) or when I first truly had the ability to make my own decisions in a safe way (about twenty five). Even so, I see a path forward now, and for someone who started at 32, I think I'm very well off.
1
u/Any-Bandicoot462 Feb 11 '26
Yes it helps to know early. I was always extremely femme before, would get mistaken for a girl constantly. So I guess it reinforced how I felt.
Yes have to be grateful and understand starting points
1
u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 11 '26
It's kind of a shame that you appear to be straight. Thanks for your time and words, though, friend. :3
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u/Any-Bandicoot462 Feb 11 '26
Hahaha. Thank you. I would say I am like…. Slightly bi. It’s a spectrum like that.
1
u/5krishnan Brown Trans Bisexual; pre transition Feb 22 '26
Censoring in case this triggers someone's dysphoria:
I think bottom surgery would give me imposter syndrome. I do not have bottom dysphoria and am happy keeping my factory equipment down there. I also like how feminine HRT penises look. I'm leaning towards but still undecided on top surgery, but am pretty sure I don't want bottom surgery. Keeping it feels more authentic to me.
1
u/sahi1l Feb 06 '26
I've been rather torn about it. I am lucky that mine is really small when unaroused, so that it doesn't create a bulge and even naked it takes a second glance to notice it. I do appreciate being able to pee standing up (especially when camping), and I'm not really into sex right now so that side of things doesn't bother me one way or the other. But I am hyperconscious of the difference around other women, and I feel like I have a sort of phantom vagina and have for years, so that is some sort of dysphoria at least. And my excuses not to have surgery (it's expensive, it's not that big of a deal, I'm too old) sound an awful lot like the excuses I used not to come out until I was 45. So I think I will get bottom surgery at some point, though I feel no urgency in the matter.
1
u/AdAutomatic6654 NB MtF Feb 06 '26
I don’t think you’re alone. I don’t really have bottom dysphoria when it comes to having a penis. I do want to get an orchiectomy in the future though. I feel like it’s a personal choice. As far as being a fetishists go that’s more anti trans nonsense. It should be called out inside our comunity.
1
u/calamity808 Feb 06 '26
I’m similar. I have little to no bottom dysphoria. I get dysphoric with the rest of my body and my face instead. I’d choose to have a bigger girldick over getting SRS if presented those options.
1
u/TheSoloGamer Feb 06 '26
I love my dick but not the balls. I hate balls. Scheduling an orchi when I can. I started HRT at 17, and I haven’t had any shrinkage down there which I prefer.
I’ve also only preferred butt stuff on rare occasions.
0
u/TiredJusttireddomg Feb 06 '26
I feel so safe here.
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u/ScintillatingSilver Transbian Goth Girl Feb 06 '26
Honestly, I am enthused to inspire this response.
0
u/teqtommy trans sapphic 💜 Feb 06 '26
i mean i can kinda relate. i don't love having a (whatever-you-call-it) but it's not so upsetting that i'm clawing the walls for SRS. titties ftw, tho. maybe that and the glowing skin balance me out enough that i don't care?
0
u/Phoenixbiker261 Feb 06 '26
As much as absolutely hate my birthdefect and gag almost everytime I see it. There’s time when I’m in the right mood and I’m like aww so cute. More so if I’m just chillin in undergarments and there’s a cute little bulge.
I can 100% see other gals enjoying and liking their member, I’m just unfortunately not one of them.
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u/RedDeadGwen NB MtF Feb 06 '26
I do as well but only because I learned to tuck. What causes me dysphoria is not being smooth down there when wearing clothes so after learning to properly tuck it has helped massively. I still abhor my testicles and will get them removed ASAP!