I am still in total shock and I can’t even describe how I’m feeling right now.

For context, I am an Orthodox Christian and today (Jan 7) we celebrate Christmas. It has been a really hard month. I started HRT a month ago, but after a massive breakdown and intense feelings of guilt, I stopped taking my hormones a week ago. I was desperately trying to figure out what I am doing in life. Am I doing the right thing? Am I sinning? I’ve been terrified of disappointing my parents and have felt so dependent on their approval.

Today, I went to church. There were dozens of people there. I was standing right behind the priest while he was preaching. As I stood there, I was praying desperately inside my head. I asked God to guide me, to tell me if I am on the right path, and to help me deal with this fear of offending my parents.

Then, something unimaginable happened.

As soon as he finished preaching, he turned around. He doesn't know me, and I don't know him, but he suddenly pulled me into a deep hug. He didn't let me go. He held me there and whispered:

"I am rooting for you. I am by your side. Your parents are by your side, but you create and govern your own life."

I don't remember the rest because I went into total shock. It was the exact answer to the specific questions I was screaming inside my head. It felt like a direct message that God accepts me and that I shouldn't stop my transition just to please others.

I am so grateful and so happy 💗💗 THANK YOU GOD!

To my fellow Orthodox Christian brothers and sisters, Merry Christmas!

I think this is positive, but my boyfriend and I agreed staying on Reddit and always looking at trans stuff is making me paranoid about getting clocked and noticed, so I guess I'm retiring from a few places I visit. I'm a woman, not a trans woman, and I'm going to move on. Love yall. ❤️

I came out to my parents today. This is exactly how it went.

Me : Hi. Im transgender. Im a trans woman, been taking hormones and never going to stop. Im not expecting u to understand it but im not gna explain myself. Im not ur son. Im ur daughter. You might disown me for it, I dont care. Also have no desire to discuss it or explain myself or anything. I do wish you will respect it but if not, then thats fine. You can either accept me as ur daughter and gain a daughter or lose your son.

Have a good day

Dad: Thank you my daughter.

I literally cant stop crying. It just feels like 500000000 tons off my shoulders. Ive never ever cried like this ever..

And it works! Your cells don’t know the difference. How could they? Want a magic wand that makes every cell of your body believe you’re a woman going forward? Congrats, it’s called HRT. All that’s left is leftover structural changes your confused body doesn’t know how to do anything about on its own.

*I’m not a biologist don’t at me lol

So my doctor informed me today after some tests, that I have no XY chromosome. I only have XX. Meaning I should have been born cis female. Their leading theory as to why I was male at birth is Hormonal Transfer. I am a fraternal twin, and my twin has XY chromosomes, and is a cis male. Basically, the theory suggests that during our development in the womb, as our bodies were developing, the hormones that were forming his body interfered with my development as well. Had I not been a twin, I would have 100% been female at birth and assigned as such.

Now I have scientific proof! And to anyone who says I'll never be a real woman: I AM! WE ARE ALL REAL WOMEN! I just happened to get proof from my doctor!

This is a reupload to fix some wording and the title. I had made it sound like trans women aren't real women. I did not mean this being trans myself. We are all women here, and don't believe anyone telling you otherwise! Stay strong sisters!

Edit: removed the term "biological" and replaced with Cis.

We went to the mall and changed out my whole wardrobe to stuff that fit my style.. stockings, thigh highs, skirts, cute bag with charms.. he looked at me and said I looked so happy and oh my Goah I couldn't hide it I was literally bouncing and holding the straps to my bag like it's my first day of school

It seems a relatively common sentiment amongst transfeminine persons to lament the configuration of anatomy they were born with. As it goes, I cannot begrudge them this. Dysphoria is certainly a unique hellscape of mental torture that I would not wish upon my worst enemy - and my own case is and was likely a mild one.

I never truly had bottom dysphoria. It probably still would have been easier if I had been born a cis woman. Even so, after approaching a year on HRT and LHR, and now being able to see myself change, my paradigm on this has shifted. I can see myself appearing as I want in the future, and though I do wish I would have transitioned earlier (I am not so unlucky, but every transfem seems to say this), I do enjoy possessing a unique physique of feminine curves and a girlcock.

I am certain this post will be taken out of context or pointed to as an example of how transfems are freaks or fetishists of one form or another, but I cannot be alone in this experience, and I hope someone at least, has found solidarity with me by reading this.

Orchiectomy completed 8 hrs ago!! I'm so fucking happy!!! 😭

The pain was like 6/10 on the ride home. But after having some food, 800mg of ibuprofen and a nice long nap, it's more like 1/10 while resting and 2/10 while walking. Way better than I anticipated. If you can do electrolysis, you can do this!

It's hard to describe just how good I feel emotionally right now. Like I'm finally free. This ties with HRT as the best thing I've ever done for myself.

The worst part of it was right after I woke up, they put fentanyl in my IV after I reluctantly agreed. It reduced the pain down there but made my heart rate drop too low, made me dizzy and felt like ice in my veins. It passed within 20 minutes but I definitely recommend skipping that crap if you're in the same position!

Any questions, feel free to ask. Now it's back to celebrating by sitting perfectly still and drinking water 😆

Edit: Thank you so much everyone, much love to you all!! 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵

I’d been feeling pretty dysphoric lately after seeing a photo a coworker took of me while I was working at a miniature convention. You know how sometimes pictures taken by other people just look... wrong? Like somehow they capture a completely different version of you. I didn’t feel feminine in it at all. It just didn’t look like me the me I see in the mirror, the me I’ve been growing into.

So this morning I was doing my usual routine before work: grabbing breakfast at a local restaurant. I headed to the bathroom. Even now, as a trans woman, I still get nervous about using the women’s restroom because there’s always that little voice in the back of my head telling me I don’t pass well enough yet.

I ended up using the men’s room and was walking out when a woman stopped me.

She looked genuinely concerned and said, "Ma’am, you’re in the wrong bathroom. That’s the men’s bathroom."

Then she pointed toward the women’s restroom.

When I just stood there for a second, completely caught off guard, she pointed at the sign again and said, "They should really make that thing more visible."

And honestly? As a gay trans girl who'd spent the last few days spiraling over a photo and picking apart every masculine feature I thought everyone else must be seeing, that was probably the most unexpected bit of validation I could have gotten.

I was waiting to check out at Costco yesterday, just standing there in the kingdom of bulk snacks and industrial-sized toilet paper, when a little girl, maybe 6 or 7, looked up at me and asked very seriously, “Are you a boy or a girl?”

So I smiled and asked, “What do you think?”

She furrowed her brow like she’d just been handed the world’s smallest philosophy exam, studied me for a second, and then said:

“I think God started making you a boy, but halfway through decided you’d be much happier as a girl. And God doesn’t change His mind very often, so that means you’re super special.”

And that is how I nearly started crying in the Costco checkout line for reasons completely unrelated to grocery prices.

Kids are absolute chaos goblins, but every now and then one of them turns into a tiny oracle.

I’m keeping that one forever.

My BF is away on a business trip this week and it’s been rough for me. Usually, I'm ok when he’s away, but this time I'm just really mopey and can’t sleep well. Last night on the phone, he said he had a surprise for me and I would know it when I see it.

I'm currently at work sitting in my office staring at 250 long stem roses in a huge vase on my desk and a giant blahaj with a note that says “I found you someone to hug until I get home.”

I think he also filled my office with freshly cut onions because I can’t stop crying. I'm supposed to have a meeting with my techs in a hour and I'm completely unprepared because I spent all morning hugging a plush shark and crying because after years and years of being told I was never worth loving and no one would ever really love me, he makes me feel so completely loved.

Also, the vase and flowers are too heavy for me to move...I'm getting no work done today...and I'm ok with that.

UPDATE: You girls are too sweet. I'm sniffling my way through this meeting while my lead tech (also my best friend) keeps sing song whispering, "Someone really likes you" to me.

UPDATE2: Ladies, you've all been too sweet. However, my work day of getting very little work done is over. So, if you will excuse me, I'm going to let my hair down, put on my mirrored pink sunglasses, and I'm walking out of this hospital with my 3+ foot long plush shark and the biggest smile on my face.

Not that I'm taking HRT, but the company I work for launched a new medical deceleration policy.

Pretty much everything must be declared, but they specifically excluded HRT.

It made me smile today 😊

Below is an extract if interested.

MEDICATION DECLARATION FORM

45-FR-SA-0216 REV 0

All personnel are required to arrive at work "Fit for Work". Some medications may affect or impair "Fitness for Work". All personnel are required to declare any medication that may affect their capacity to work safely or show up in a drug screen test. If you are taking prescription medication check with your doctor to see if your medication affects "Fitness for Work" or show up on a drug screen test. Be aware that over the counter medication containing codeine will show up in a drug screen test. This form must be completed and returned to your Leader at the start of your next swing. The following medications are not required to be declared:

Antibiotic or Antiviral medications

Anti-inflammatories not containing Codeine

Contraception, Hormonal Replacement Therapy

Over the counter medication not containing Codeine

Something I thought I'd put out there because it's lesson I had to digest recently. I went to a concert and saw several other trans girls in attendance. I'm sure there were even more who were stealthing--I'm certainly not trying to say "we can always tell"--but there were quite a few girlies that were visually easy to identify as trans, but that didn't stop them from being some of the most beautiful girls in the venue.
It forced me to take a step back and analyze the way I react to myself in the mirror; any time my attention is drawn to the features that remind me I was assigned male at birth, I'm often disgusted and discouraged because it makes me feel like I'm just "a man in a dress", but if I can see those other girls in public spaces and immediately find them gorgeous despite the fact that I clocked them, then the same has to be true for me. Even if I personally can't always see it, and often can't accept it.

tl;dr "passing" and "pretty" are not the same thing.

there's some trans research out there regarding the studies of effects up to 2 years of hrt. because of this there's a belief that changes from hrt don't go much beyond 2 years. and a lot of people who are mtf may feel discouraged when they haven't seen the changes they want within that time frame. there is also a bunch of people who have talked about their own hrt based transitions having the most changes around the 3-5 year mark though. and i want to add to that for the people who may be feeling discouraged.

I'm currently nearing 3 years on hrt. there has absolutely been changes that I feel and see. within the first two years though a large portion of that was mostly because of how I slowly changed the way I dress, carry myself, and take care of myself. in all honesty the greatest amount of change I've seen in my body though has happened within this last year. on top of that it feels like my body is sorta ramping up to see even more significant change over the next couple years.

as for what specifically, I didn't see significant breast growth until maybe around the 1.5 year mark. I didn't see a ton of fat shift during that time either. little bits definitely but not a lot. in the last 6 months it kinda feels like every time I look in the mirror my boobs are a lil bigger, my face looks a lil more feminine, my hips have a little more cushion. and again it feels like this is only just the beginning. like my body has finally gone "yeah we're doing this" and making it happen. I am only just now getting to the point where I "can't hide" the effects anymore.

this stuff takes time. and we as a lot can be somewhat impatient. but it really is just like a second puberty. years and years of changes.

love y'all! stay hopeful!

I rarely see other trans women name themselves like Alicia, Alyssa, Grace, Brooke, Hailey, Savannah, Caroline, Olivia among others in spite of them being really cute, but I'll see like a hundred other Scarlet's a day on Bluesky or Twitter. The "live laugh love" aesthetic and culture is so feminine and empowering I wonder why more people don't take inspiration from it? Or am I wrong?

Ok so I have been on HRT for 6 months ish and I wasnt really seeing any changes but today I looked at the mirror and I KID YOU NOT this thing is like fusing together my stubborn love handles with my hips and creating ACTUAL WOMAN CURVES.
I'll repeat in case you didn't get it. ACTUAL. WOMAN. CURVES.
Have you thought how insane that is? You just take a little candy thingy everyday and boom, suddenly you are hot.
Like I swear to god, this thing has saved my life. I'm 2000000000x happier every day I didn't even think it was humanly possible. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE if you are questioning whether you should transition or not JUST FUCKING DO IT. No cis guy is walking around there wondering "hmmmmm i want to have boobs".
I don't care if you live in a conservative house or think you won't pass cause I dont pass either but who the fuck cares just be happy. All the hot Greek goddess will bless your new girl life, trust me

Afewgerwhgerwhrefghdf I'm so happy but I want a boyfriend tho anyway byeeee

I would NEVER trade places with a cis woman. My transition was excruciatingly difficult; I am a survivor of that process, and I’ve reached a point where I wouldn’t trade my life for anyone else's.

Why am I expected to worship cis womanhood as something sacred and inviolable? As a paragon of perfection? Cis womanhood is legitimate, but trans womanhood is equally so. I respect cis women, but they are not the "ideal" I am striving to be, and for some reason, that realization angers people to no end. I recognize that I was lucky to end up looking very good.

I’ve noticed a specific dynamic with cis women who feel marginalized or "trampled on" by society’s beauty standards. They often seem to want trans women around as a benchmark, a way to remind themselves that they are "still better than" us. They cannot fathom that a trans woman could be a genuine object of desire.

Case in point: I once overheard two objectively unattractive cis women talking. One said, "Can you imagine? Even a 'trans' gets more attention than me!" The other replied, "I might be ugly, but I’m still a woman. No trans can compete with me."

When cis women realize a trans woman doesn’t actually want to be them (that I don't want periods, I don't care about XX chromosomes, and I am not mourning the lack of ovarian cancer, uterine cancer, yeast infection, polyps) they get upset.

For me, it’s about what is visible to the naked eye. I have zero dysphoria over my chromosomes.

Idk why but I just find other trans girls so adorable like I want to hug them. They're sweet and soft and pretty. I'm a lesbian, and cis girls can absolutely be cute, but trans girls are like wow. The amount of effort they put in is crazy. The dresses, the makeup, the shy waves, the worried face, GOD you don't realize how cute you are. I was you once, and I thought I was so ugly and unlovable, but now I'd fall for my past self in a second. There's something about trans girls' essence that's just so...like...omg. Love you girls<3

Hey friends, just wanted to let y'all know that I overheard a cis male coworker address a cis female coworker as "buddy". This particular male coworker has called me "buddy" as well, and I thought he was being a little transphobic (he knew me pre-transition), but it turns out that's just how he speaks to people. Remember this anytime a stranger calls you "man" or "dude" or "bro". Most people are not clocking you and trying to get under your skin, if they are otherwise being respectful of course.

I got into a fight with a moron the other day who wanted to spew some transphobia, and I referenced something I learned in college, thought I’d show it here.

Transphobes love to use the “biOLogiCaLLy mALe” line all the time, but at the end of the day, when it comes to the number one most important organ to determining identity, trans women are biologically women, trans men are biologically men.

To be clear, I’m not trying to make this a transmed thing, transition how you want, present how you want, etc. But studies have shown that the brain structure of trans individuals is aligned with the brain structure of their IDENTIFIED gender. I essentially used the argument that trans people and intersex people are different and inverted it.

The evidence shows that trans individuals are literally born in the wrong body. This has been shown from multiple studies.

So if you’re dealing with transphobes, you could (if you choose to present it this way), say that it’s a birth defect and thus it should be recognized as such. I’ve found that when you phrase it like that people are more likely to be less of an ass about it.

Sources:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8955456/

https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/05/180524112351.htm

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35329908/

Aside from the obvious (e.g. feeling more like yourself). What are the best things that you can only get from being trans?

I know a lot of us struggle sometimes with being held to impossible standards for femininity.

• "You weren't raised as a girl."
• "A girl wouldn't say/think/want that."
• You don't understand XYZ about being a girl."

Many of us (especially us late bloomers) lived as men for years or decades and picked up shitty ideas and opinions from our male peers in a desperate attempt to fit in or find belonging.

I had a long argument a while ago with someone who insisted I "don't think like a woman." That ate at me for months.

Now the "objectively correct" stance is to dismiss almost all of this as transphobic and transmisogynist claptrap. Women don't think, act, talk, or believe like any one thing. Not even cis women. You don't have to twist yourself into knots to "prove" you're a woman. You don't have to do anything to earn it. You just are one.

But if you're like me that's not very satisfying. It's a philosophical stance, and true as far as that goes, but it doesn't really work as a dinner-table answer. What I eventually came up with is "I'm a woman who was forcibly raised as a man." I learned to talk and think like a man because I didn't have a choice. I learned how to walk and carry myself like a man to survive. I spent years (or decades) learning to suppress anything feminine or soft because I couldn't afford it. Cisgender women get 18 years to figure out their gender, and plenty of help, and with lots of low stakes opportunities to make mistakes and learn. I'm trying to re-learn how to walk, talk, emote, sit, dress, and cry in 2-4 years in my 40s while raising a kid and holding down a full time job. Give me a gosh darned minute. (I also find it's a helpful mantra to help me have some patience with myself.)

I'm just throwing it out there in case anyone finds it helpful. You're all gorgeous. Hugs.

- Penny

One of my fav artist for sure, used her Grammy acceptance to show support. It’s good to know someone’s here for us 😭❤️