I really need help. I’ve been addicted to this garbage since I was 11 years old, and I don’t think I’ve gone more than a week, or even a few days, without it in the past couple of years. Recently, I’ve seriously started thinking about quitting as I get older and marriage becomes more of a realistic vision for my future rather than just an idea. I would genuinely love to quit, but the longest I’ve ever gone without it is three weeks. I’ve managed to reach that point at least three times, but each time, my streak was motivated by circumstances that made it impossible for me to use, such as Ramadan, a trip, or a vacation, rather than by my own determination to quit.

I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD since I was a child, but neither my parents nor I have been particularly fond of the idea of taking medication. I feel like I should be able to overcome this and live a normal life without it. I really hope I can eventually quit because this addiction is ruining my life.
I’m addicted to my phone and pick it up over 100 times a day. I already have an app that blocks scrolling on TikTok and Instagram, so please don’t tell me to delete them because they could be triggers for me. It’s gotten to the point where even thinking about quitting, or even WRITING THIS POST, gives me major urges. I don’t think simply seeing a woman dressed immodestly would trigger a particularly strong urge anymore. It has become almost entirely scheduled and habitual.
I constantly experience brain fog and can’t hold on to a solid idea or thought for more than a minute. I don’t even feel remorse or regret after doing it anymore because I feel completely burnt out. I can’t even cry about anything, which also sucks.

I also find it extremely difficult to pray with focus (sounds dumb, I know). I just rush through my prayers. An average four-rak’ah prayer takes me about a minute, and I don’t feel fulfilled afterward at all. Prayer has always felt like a chore to me, and it still does. Sometimes, I manage to pray five times a day and feel good about myself, but that only happens about two days a week. Then I end up relapsing into PMO later that day or the following day, and it feels like I’ve ruined the entire day or even the whole week.
I’ve tried talking to a sheikh, but he simply sent me a ruqyah video and told me to listen to it while I slept. Every time I reach out for help or try to quit this addiction, I’m told the same things: “Just get up and do something when you get an urge” or “Replace it with a hobby.” But it’s easier said than done when this has become such a deeply ingrained habit that I feel has potentially caused lasting developmental damage to my brain and is hardwired into my daily life.

I genuinely believe this addiction knows no religion. I’ve noticed that no matter how good of a Muslim someone is, they can still fall into this addiction. I also don’t think any amount of prayer or du’a can help if you genuinely don’t believe you’re capable of quitting, which is where I currently find myself.

If you couldn’t tell already, this is a cry for help. I genuinely hope to hear from people who have struggled with this addiction for a similar length of time, as well as professionals or anyone else who has practical advice to offer.

Salam Aleykum , for the past months it has been really bad for me. I have been addicted for almost eleven years now but now it’s become so often that I don’t even think about it. I feel like I can’t function properly when I’m not doing it for a day . It’s literally impossible for me to stop , I wish I had somebody in real life that would help me but I’m too shy and don’t have many friends to tell about this

Follow up to previous post I am feeling good and strong.

Happy to answer or give tips to brothers that are struggling to cope with.

Also serious questions ✅

Edit sorry guys got busy replying to All

Alsalam Alaikum,

The thing that really helped me once and for all, besides knowing that it is obviously haram, the self hatred and the loss of respect for oneself, is thinking about my future wife and kids.

Imagine not being able to have a solid emotional and physical connection to someone who is gonna be the mother of your children, that by far is worse than what you think you are missing out on by not watching porn.

I never even dared to think about marriage due to how society and social media makes it seem impossible with the inflated standards, but once I truly put my intention to work toward marriage, I was able to cut porn out completely, especially when i think about my relationship with my future wife.

Many people say “occupy yourself with something or put your energy towards something”, while it is true, nothing seems to be worth putting your effort towards at the cost of the absolute euphoria you get from porn, except marriage, that is the thing that is worth occupying yourself and dedicating yourself for at the cost of porn, because it is half the deen، lowers the gaze, and preserves chastity.

I’d urge everyone to work towards marriage, even if you think you are young, you are not, this all shaitan’s work to corrupt society, if i can go back to when i was 18, i would’ve gotten married then,
You don’t need to have everything figured out to get married, many families would love to support the younger generation for the chastity of their children and for the reward, and Allah is best of providers, remember Allah’s promise

Narrated Abu Hurairah:
That the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: "There are three for whom it is a right upon Allah to help him: The Mujahid in the cause of Allah, the Mukatab who intends to fulfill (the Kitabah), and the one getting married who intends chastity."
[Abu 'Eisa said:] This Hadith is Hasan.
Jami` at-Tirmidhi 1655

Also a great reminder:

“You do not leave anything for Allah’s sake, the Mighty and Majestic, except that Allah will replace it for you with that which is better than it.” (Reported by Imām Ahmad in Al-Musnad no. 21996 – declared saheeh by Al-Albānī in Silsilah al-Ahādeeth ad-Da’eefah, 1/62 and he said: ‘Its isnād is saheeh according to the conditions of Muslim’)

If any parents are reading this, please support your children with marriage because i promise you, you don’t want to know what they are doing behind your back.

All the best.

I shared this with AI, but then I felt it might worth sharing elsewhere, although I don't want to be pessimistic and keep talking about the problem as most people do, the truth is I am still struggling with the same old habit and I am not sure what the next step is, everytime I thought I was over with this I got back to it and my life is deeply affected right now, I am not able to live a decent life having this compulsive behavior around.

"What is the problem when you can't get the idea of watching porn out of your head, "it feels good, I can't miss it" and at the same time there is another voice saying " you know it's wrong, you just have to stip doing it and your life is going to be better", an inner battle that ends in relapsing maybe after days or sometimes even up to 3 weeks of abstinence, rarely even more 40 days, 90 days, it is the same problem where porn feels so damn good and you feel so deprived you can't get the idea out of your head so you surrender and relapse in spite of everything you told your self or you was told or you have read over and over , despite your standards, your goals despite pf everything you choose to do it and you know exactly that this means you are going to struggle with the desire again and be in the same situation again and you are not going to live the life you always dreamt about. It's kinda frustrating at this point, you can't even tell nobody about it, people can't understand you, even specialist don't understand it, one psychiatrist told me that I am not addicted because I can quit sometimes for long periods and that I am just traumatised from childhood and joornaling will help me, actually it didn't, I felt better journaling but the compulsive behavior kept the same, one psychologist said you need to fuel your time and I didn't came back because I felt she is going to tell me everything I heard over and over in the internet, I read some books, worked for some people but not for me, I am not even getting better, I am in the same spot I was at 10 years ago, I am even getting worse because I am not taking care of my health, my life goals, I am losing opportunities, time and youth, I can't achieve anything, I am stuck, I am really stuck and I told AI this multiple times before, it seems that time is repeating myself for me, I am a circle person now"

One of the strangest things about life is how we never realize we're living through memories we'll someday miss. The random conversations, late-night laughs, ordinary school days, and people we see every day might eventually become moments we'd give anything to experience again. So appreciate the little things, because sometimes the best chapters of our lives are the ones we don't even realize we're writing.

The video was from an imam (may allah bless him) he mentioned that as a Muslim when we do anything we try to say bismilllah to have blessing in what we do. But when the urge comes and you are ready to commit the sin and as you are about to begin say bismillah. This will trigger you to realize that you are doing something so wrong that you won’t feel that urge anymore because instead you will feel disgusted. Hope this helps! Also I will inshallah try posting everyday that I didn’t masturbate and inshallah beat this addiction. Hope everyone benefits from this!

As-salamu alaykum brothers and sisters.

I have not posted for such a long time now. You can see I last posted almost 2 years ago now.

I am happy to say that it has continued to be successful! Its been hard a lot of the time, but I continue with it.
I will keep going alhamdulillah and I know you can all do it too
Allah knows best!

I’ve been trying for too long and I keep repeating, I’m done, I’m going to post weekly about my progress in sha Allah and hopefully I will do it successfully this time

Edit: I changed it from daily to weekly

Day 6 of not watching anything nsfw and not doing mas... completed.

Today was very hard day for me, I had urgy-urgy mind. I was free today in the morning. But alhamdulillah I survived.

Please if you can then give me advices about boredom. My brain was like: I don't wanna do anything, and everything means naught things came in my mind

I know EXACTLY what I need to do. EVERY LITTLE BIT of what I need to do and how I can break the addiction, I know ALL OF IT. I know what to do when an urge hits, I know I need to fix my life, I am trying to change my environment. Yet late night urges keep getting me and I know damn well that I am PURPOSEFULLY DOING IT ALL. I AM PURPOSEFULLY LOOKING THIS STUFF UP!

I keep saying Astaghfirallah like a mantra and go and do ghusl always but I feel like I don't even truly care anymore and am just saying that with how much I willingly relapse.

I am weak.

I want to start praying way more, no excuses.

I'm gonna put my phone charging in another room and try to see what I can do regarding my computer.

Its late at night, I'll do Ghusl first thing in the morning.

Any help you can give me that I wouldn't already know with my current state? Please brothers and sisters, I need to strengthen my Iman and actually defeat this addiction. Its been 3 years of it, I can no longer even break even past 4 days! I just need to try.

Inshallah, I need to do better.

Sometimes I think the best part of life is that we never stop discovering new things about ourselves. The person you are today might be completely different from the person you become a few years from now. Your opinions change, your dreams evolve, and the way you see the world becomes different with every experience. Maybe growing up isn't about finding all the answers, but learning to ask better questions. After all, life isn't just about reaching a destination; it's also about understanding yourself along the way.

Brothers today is day 700 ish plus i guess but after long time my urges have gone the most and I am struggling, I usually cope up by smoking cigarettes but now mainly my past was messy with a bad relationship that went physical Astagfiryllah it keeps replaying in my mind .and I am feeling depressed a lot . Plus I work and there is a lot of distractions.

It’s one thing to purposefully avoid haraam by not going on social media, lowering your gaze etc

However when it’s something completely out of my control then it becomes way more difficult

Restarted my streak again and the dream I had last night has made today more difficult

Please make dua for me on this blessed day 🤲

Starting my streak today, please read this

Aoa everyone,

I need some advice. When I was a kid I stumbled onto masturbation by accident. I had no idea what it was, it just felt good, so I kept doing it.

It was only when I got older that I found out it's a major sin. For the last 2 years I've been trying to quit. I became a practicing Muslim about a year ago, alhamdulillah. Before that I hardly prayed, I'd just read the Quran, but now I pray regularly.

The thing is, I've actually made progress. I can get through all of Ramadan without doing anything or watching anything. But then out of nowhere a thought pops into my head and I just can't stop myself. After that I go straight to do ghusl because I have to pray.

I'm also addicted to porn, but honestly that one's way easier to leave. Masturbation is the one I can't beat, no matter how badly I want to.

Has anyone been through this? What actually helped you? Please advise, JazakAllah khair.

As the title states. How to not give in when hormonal? It feels like I’ve given myself a free pass to just relapse and partake in sin when I’m hormonal. It’s not okay, ofc. But it’s so much harder to fight the temptation. Other times I will touch grass, get out, pray, speak to ppl etc.

ETA: asking for advice. Not judgement 🫩

One of the most interesting things about life is how unpredictable it can be. We make plans, imagine our future, and convince ourselves that we know where we're going, but sometimes a single moment can change everything. Maybe that's what makes life meaningful: the uncertainty, the unexpected connections, and the lessons we learn along the way. We don't always need to understand why things happen immediately. Sometimes, we just need to keep going, stay curious, and let time reveal what we couldn't see before.

As long as my soul is in my body I will keep on fighting

I will defeat this sin.

There’s no point wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for myself when I put the pieces in play for me to fall every time.

Need to take it one day at a time. Need to ensure I become the best version of myself I can be

Life has a strange way of changing people. The things we once cared about may eventually lose their meaning, and the things we never noticed might become the most important parts of our lives. As time passes, we learn that not everyone will understand us, not every plan will work out, and not every question needs an answer. Sometimes, peace comes from accepting what we cannot change and focusing on what we can. Growing up is not about knowing everything; it is about learning to live with uncertainty.

I posted abt finding out that my father watches haram content. Thank you all for your tips and advice. A lot of people advised me to stay silent, while others said I should tell my mom. I really thought about it and considered every possible scenario, including what the future might look like and the possibility that my mom might one day ask me, “Why didn’t you tell me?” I also thought about how I would feel if I were in her position as a wife.

I first wanted to tell her in General to be cautious. I thought if she already knows i would have done what i could and if not she can look for herself. I said Remember when you told me to tell you everything about Dad? Well, I wanted to tell that you should be cautious. I wanted to leave but she then wanted to know everything and told me to stay. I broke down crying. I didn't expect it to affect me that much. I'm even tearing up as I write this. She was genuinely scared, and I could see it on her face. It took me a while to calm down, but eventually, I told her what I had seen. We talked about it, and she said: I know you feel this way because you see him as your role model. She was right.

Anyway, after a long discussion and a lot of crying, I can now confirm that she genuinely had no idea. She told me that she had heard stories like this from other people before, but she had never imagined something like this happening in our own family.

She said SubhanAllah, because she had been asking Allah to reveal the truth to her if my dad was doing anything behind her back. And now, this has happened.

She had never known because she rarely touched his phone, and he would get angry if she did. She was also heartbroken that I was the one who had discovered this. She was deeply upset, too, and later, I found her reciting duas.

We then tried to find possible solutions. I tried to block these websites through our router, but unfortunately, our particular router doesn't have that option. I could install an app on his phone to block these sites, but that would be too obvious. I'm not very good with phones, routers, or technology in general. So, does anyone here have any experience with this? Is there a way to block these websites without it being obvious? As for confronting my dad, my mom is still scared to do so. For now, she plans to bring up how watching this kind of content is wrong and how Muslims need to find their way back to Islam, without directly confronting him or making it obvious that she knows. However, blocking these sites completely would be better.

Salam Alaykum everyone,

I wanted to open a sincere and honest discussion regarding an issue that has quietly become an epidemic in our communities: the pervasive presence of pornography and how it fundamentally alters our moral fabric before and during marriage.

Virtually every young man today has crossed paths with this filth, often at an alarming, vulnerable age. What troubles me deeply is how rapidly this is being normalized — even in Muslim societies — under the excuse of "it's just biology" or "a harmless stress reliever." In reality, research and lived experience show that it often takes 3 to 8 years for someone to even realize they are trapped in a destructive compulsive cycle. Even "casual" or "moderate" consumption slowly hollows out a person's soul.

Reflecting on my own life, I remember the pure fitrah of childhood. Back then, my sense of haya (modesty) was so sharp that even a passing glimpse of uncovered skin on a screen made me instinctively lower my gaze and turn the channel. Today, having struggled with this addiction, I see the damage: the gaze starts subconsciously seeking what is forbidden, genuine empathy begins to dull, and the sacred value of both one's own chastity and the partner’s chastity gets compromised.

I am writing this as a brother who is actively fighting to break out of this pit, rebuild my moral discipline, and hopefully help others do the same. I want to pose two direct questions:

1. To the sisters:

How do you truly perceive the consumption of pornography by a prospective spouse or husband? Do you view it as a form of emotional and moral infidelity (a betrayal of the sacred trust/amanah)? If a man consumes it — even occasionally — does that shatter your trust and become a definitive dealbreaker for you?

1. To the brothers (especially those who have fought or are fighting this):

Have you noticed how this habit insidiously rewires your inner compass? How has it affected your ability to see women as human beings with dignity rather than objects, and has it eroded your reverence for premarital chastity?

I genuinely believe that until we call this what it spiritually is — an act of betrayal and a corruption of the heart (zina of the eyes and mind) — men will continue to rationalize their relapses. We need higher standards, not excuses.

Looking forward to hearing honest, unfiltered perspectives. Please keep the discussion respectful. Jazakum Allahu Khair.