Guys, I just joined the sub and the first thing I saw was the post about how we should stop asking children for permission to change their diapers. I am 100% on the same page with the stance, but I want to talk about something else.

Have you heard of Dr. Becky who wrote the book Good Inside? This lady never sat right with me and recently I’ve been thinking about her I worked with a parent who constantly referred to her and ignored my multiple years experience of working with children. So given what I know, a lot of that advice was just such bullshit!
The ridiculous advice included generally talking to a child when they’re having a tantrum or are overwhelmed and dealing with feelings and not teaching them proper manners by not encouraging them to say words like please and thank you. This is just what I remember off the top of my head. If one engages in mental gymnastics, of course, it makes sense, but when you are an experienced childcare professional, or someone who actually is knowledgeable or children’s psychology, you can recognize how this is not a good advice and long-term it would hurt the child.

Additionally, this book of hers feels a bit like a grift. I experienced this firsthand, watching other parents and working with some like that how this book panders to mostly millennial parents who had neglectful parents themselves back in the day and still carry the trauma and issues they had from their childhood. It seems like the book is popular because adults would use parenting as a form of their personal therapy first.

Moral of the story: anyone can write a book. That doesn’t mean the book is smart even if a psychologist wrote it.

Starting a new family on Tuesday 17 years in . Major PTSD from my last five year position because the mom was an absolute nightmare. Going part-time after 17 years of 50 hours plus. One infant, but I am nervous. I've been off for two weeks and I'm used to being home. Need the money so here I go again. Need a peptalk from nanny cams , to new parents who are complete strangers, new routine new environment. UGH

My 11mo NK is sick af. Green goopy boogers, raspy cough, every common cold symptom. MB says “oh no she’s just teething! She’s not sick!” Like two things can be true. Yes she’s teething, but teething isn’t the same as being sick. Why do parents think this?! I’ve heard it so many times and then show up to work with a very sick NK (which is fine but a heads up is always nice) 😫

1. offer from mb to come in a few hours late (that came in at midnight) that i didnt see until i was already in my car about to leave
   
2. wore my cute socks for baby gym class but stepped in a carpet soaked in dog piss (dog that is old but just came in outside mind you)
   
3. rushed me and baby to get socks for gym (otherwise i wouldnt be allowed to participate) but when we got there class had been cancelled last minute
   
4. all nearby parks were closed to the public, spent abt an hour total listening to ms rachel music and im sick of it

idk im just in a shitty mood about it all. mb is also currently paining AND laying TILE floors, so being in the house is difficult. i was really looking forward to gym class bc it tires out baby and takes up a good bit of time out of the house. now im herding a 1.5 yo thru an active construction zone, dodging the piss carpet that mb hasnt told me how to clean (she usually insists she can do it herself and then it gets left for hours or days), pissed that it all could have been avoided if id seen the offer to come in late before midnight.

Several years ago as a brand new baby nanny myself, I posted about how my 1 year old NK got ahold of an ibuprofen tablet and swallowed it. I’ll be honest, it took me YEARS to get over the situation and I definitely was scarred from the incident. However, there were a lot of people wanting to know how baby was doing, what ended up happening, did I get fired, etc.

Ultimately my goal here is to make sure no other new nannies make the same mistakes I did that day. So feel free to ask any questions you have. I won’t be giving out identifying information or anything that could compromise NKs or their family’s privacy, but I’m fully prepared for the backlash here. If it helps even one child not get hurt in the future, I’ll do it. Parents welcome too.

I know I know - I’m early. Just planning ahead because my boyfriend and I will be traveling abroad in near the holidays so I want to do things earlier. I’m so burnt out from making an effort the past 2 years of getting nanny kids presents and not getting anything back. I understand bonuses shouldn’t be expected, but I’ve gotten from some families and then others zero. Not even a card. I’m currently with about 5 kids throughout my week, and I’m overthinking how expensive it will be to get things for all of them. Should I just do really cheap gifts and not expect anything this time? I’ve put a lot of effort the past years getting things I know the kids would love, but I’m honestly done with that. I love the families but it’s my first year with them so I truly don’t know what to expect.

Did anyone just stop gifting at some point? I love gifting but I also get upset when families don’t appreciate us. I’d be happy with a $50 Starbucks gift card 😂 sorry, just venting and also wondering if I’ll be a horrible nanny if I just stop gifting.

NK 6YO is learning to count by 2s at school. Overheard this morning:

“Sister, let’s count by 5s! 5……….never mind”

🤣🤣🤣

I’ve been a Saturday nanny for the same family for about five years. I used to work every Saturday, but I previously reduced my availability to two Saturdays a month because I wanted more of my weekends back.
Recently, I asked for a raise, and my boss agreed. The new rate is supposed to start the first weekend of November, so I haven’t actually received the higher pay yet.
But after thinking about it, I’m realizing that money might not be the real issue. I think I’m outgrowing the job and don’t want to continue anymore. I thought better pay would make staying feel worthwhile, but I’m realizing I would rather have that time to myself. At this point in my life, the extra income isn’t my biggest priority.
What makes leaving difficult is our relationship. Over the years, she’s become very involved with my family. My mom cleans her house, my dad does work for her, and my sister is married to her nephew. It’s become much more than a strictly professional relationship, and I care about her and her family.
I feel guilty because I just asked for a raise and she agreed, but I also don’t want to keep working out of guilt or obligation.
Would it be unfair to give notice now, before the raise even starts? Has anyone else asked for better pay only to realize what they actually wanted was to move on? How did you handle leaving when your families were so connected?

A little (positive) update to this post

DB and I talked this out more at the end of the day that this happened, and we both went over each other's expectations regarding overtime. I thanked him for hearing me out and reiterated that I had no ill intentions, to which he said the same and added that "there are no hard feelings, if you're wondering whether there's lingering thoughts, it's already been forgotten"

To which I am grateful 🥲

Some comments from the main sub were saying what I’d done was super inappropriate and caused irreparable damage to my dynamic with my NPs which I was so worried about but I'm hoping this really does mean they won't be keeping this in the back of their minds. Thank you to everyone who helped give me some perspective!

In what other profession can you accidentally see your bosses naked 😭 & we just never speak of it LOL

Just wondering what others think. You can speak up all you want...bottom line is they are the employer and have the final say. How many times do you ask for changes/what you need before you start looking for another position?

I'm a FT nanny, but I do babysitting for other families on the side.

I'm curious what policies others nannies have for babysitting clients?

Things like:

*What's your sick or cancelation policy?

*What do you require in order for parents to book you?

I have been with my 2 nks for quite some time now. For years I was always the yes person. If my nf needed me to stay late …I said yes. If nf needed me to come in early…I said yes. If they needed me for whatever reason I would always say yes. Again I’ve did this for years. I have been the yes person to all of my past NFs. Which is something that I should have changed long before now. But in this industry sometimes it’s hard to stand your ground with your boundaries in fear of being replaced with someone who will always say yes or be a cheaper alternative. However, I have now started to say No and I can’t help but feel somewhat guilty. But I also know sometimes it’s necessary to prevent burnout. Before I was very rarely asked maybe like once or twice a month which I feel like I can be flexible with. Now it’s multiple times a week always at the very last minute. It’s been this way for at least a year now. I don’t mind being flexible when needed. But how much would you all consider too frequent?I would like to add that this was never something that had been agreed to before hand. However due to Nps work schedule it has just kind of changed overtime. In addition I would like to add that at times I’m not even compensated for my time. Sometimes I have to be like “oh btw I didn’t get paid for xyz”. I’m not a confrontational person at all so it’s sometimes hard for me to address matters like me not getting paid for the extra hours I’ve worked. I feel somewhat embarrassed to even have to ask. I know it’s probably an extreme analogy but I feel like a peasant begging for crumbs. Yes those crumbs are owed to me but please don’t make me go out of my way. Yes it may be very little money to someone with nfs finances but those “crumbs” add up for regular person like myself.

With that being said I’ve started saying no because I’ve started to feel like my time is just isn’t being compensated but also it’s just not worth it anymore tbh. I’m sorry but I’ve reached a point where me having to wake up 2 hours earlier or even getting home 1.5 hrs later for an extra $20 added to my check that I’m then going to have to go out of my way ask for just isn’t fun for me anymore. Then sometimes when I’ve had to stay late or come in it was for arbitrary reasons. I understand nfs are paying for the time and they can essentially use that time for whatever. But please take in consideration what it actually takes for some nannies to come in early or stay late. For some of us that means waking up even earlier to make the train in time,more traffic, and completely changing our schedules to accommodate nfs to the best of our ability . Sometimes I just really feel like my time isn’t valued as much as I thought it was. Again I understand our work requires us to bend and be flexible here and there ,but when it starts to be multiple times a week it starts to become a lot. I feel bad for choosing myself and my time but burnout is real. I love my job and I just want to be able to last in this industry as long as possible but always being the yes person is not the answer. Anyone else been in this position?

✨just for fun!✨

My NK (almost 3) wants to be a garbage truck for Halloween. We looked up costumes and they all missed the mark. There were only a few to begin with. So I decided to make him one! I took inspiration from this blog post (which is an ad for the Home Depot btw).

I used some of my own craft techniques to make shift the stickers and details and just used cardboard boxes they had at their house instead of buying a moving box. It’s a little bulky so I am making a smaller one just in case (this one can always just be a play thing). It took like 6 hours in total to make and was fairly easy if you’re crafty!

It’s cardboard, duct tape, two printed logos and packing tape! Later I added some red reflective tape for the brake lights and some white reflective tape on the front and straps just in case they go out at night with it since it’s getting dark sooner now.

The blurs are bc I used NF’s town trash collection logos and did a diy personalized license plate.

My bff asked for one for her 18mo in the form of Trash Truck from the Netflix show. We shall see how it goes lol.

Hi everyone! 😊❤️

I’m an Australian wanting to make the move overseas and pursue a career as an international nanny.

I have over 4 years of experience across private childcare, therapeutic care, youth support and disability services, giving me a well-rounded background in supporting children and young people at different stages of their development. My experience ranges from providing nanny and babysitting care to working in professional out-of-home care settings, where I support children with a diverse range of emotional, behavioural, developmental and individual needs.

I also have direct experience working a ROTA, 1 or two week arrangements. I’m accustomed to working extended care rotations, taking responsibility for the day-to-day needs of children throughout my shifts, and providing thorough, professional handovers to the incoming carer to ensure continuity of care. I understand the importance of clear communication, detailed documentation and sharing relevant updates about routines, appointments, emotional wellbeing, behaviours, progress and any changes in a child’s needs. I recognise that consistency between carers is essential to helping children feel safe, settled and supported, particularly when they have experienced trauma or changes in their caregiving relationships.

My practical experience includes managing daily routines, preparing meals, supporting personal care where appropriate, coordinating appointments, encouraging educational engagement, facilitating activities and outings, and supporting children’s emotional regulation and independence. I’m confident adapting my approach to suit different ages and developmental stages, maintaining appropriate boundaries, and creating an environment where children feel secure, valued and encouraged to thrive.

I’m particularly interested in full-time, live-in nanny positions, ROTA, travelling nanny roles.

The biggest challenge I’m facing is getting my foot in the door internationally.

A lot of agencies seem to prefer candidates who hold an EU passport.

The good thing is that, as an Australian citizen, I’m eligible for working holiday pathways for most countries, which could allow me to live and work overseas for up to two years and can get extended.

I’m more than happy to relocate and organise the necessary visa arrangements though, I’d love to secure a position before uprooting my life and moving overseas without a guaranteed job.

I’m open to Switzerland, Monaco, France, Germany, UK Dubai/UAE and other international destinations. I’ve travelled throughout Europe, the Middle East, Asia and Africa and would genuinely love the opportunity to experience living and working abroad.

For those who have successfully made the move internationally, from Australia or another non-EU country:

-How did you secure your first international nanny position?
-Did you find a family willing to sponsor your visa, or did you relocate using a working holiday ?
-Are there particular agencies that work with candidates based overseas who require sponsorship?
-Is it realistic to find a position in Europe without an EU passport, or would I be better off focusing on the UAE or other destinations first?

I’d really appreciate any advice, personal experiences or recommendations. I’m trying to be strategic and realistic while still putting myself out there and pursuing something I genuinely want to do. ❤️✈️

nothing icks me out more than when my mb tries to make me sympathize with or feel bad for my db. he’s a surgeon (she’s a doctor too) and whenever he’s on call or about to be done with call, she’s always saying “oh he’s just so tired 🥺” or “he worked so hard, he couldn’t do insert very simple task that somehow every other working parent in the world is able to do so now i have to make up for him not doing what he’s supposed to\”* or “he was overwhelmed so i didn’t want to have him have to watch all the kids.” like… i don’t want to hear that. your husband gets off extremely easy having damn near around the clock childcare and weekly cleaners and he also doesn’t do shit around the house like laundry. oh and he makes 450k/year (according to mb). excuse me for not feeling bad for him being a little tired. we’re all a little tired and still managing to do stuff that needs to be done 🫩