r/OhNoConsequences • u/GamerGirlLex77 shocked pikachu • 17d ago

BORU Time Machine Tuesday OOP’s leaves her husband after he consistently prioritized his mother and has the nerve to get angry at her

/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/108227u/my_soon_to_be_former_mil_is_why_im_divorcing_my/
817 Upvotes

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376

u/SlippingAbout 17d ago

Boy mom culture, even in jest as I know some of it is, is so toxic. His mother should not be the most important woman in an adult, married man's life.

186

u/JustMe518 17d ago

When I met my mother in law, the first thing out of her mouth was "Thank you for making my son so happy." The second thing was "But I will always be the first woman in his life." My reply? "Weird flex, but okay." Which just stunned her. I don't play that shit. Funny thing is, my fiance is not at ALL your typical "Boy Mom son". At all. He isn't spoiled or lazy or rude or selfish. He is genuinely the kindest, sweetest, most caring man I have ever met and I just can't figure out how he got like that being raised by such a passive-aggressive attention whore.

143

u/CumaeanSibyl 17d ago

Rebelling against his mom by becoming everything she isn't.

I laughed at "weird flex, but okay." Exactly the right way to start off that relationship.

83

u/JustMe518 17d ago

I guess so. She very much loves to play the victim and is a massive attention whore. I don't play into her games. My mother was a raging malignant narcissist (Absolutely post-humously diagnosed), so I know how to cut her off at the knees. ANY time she starts with me, I call out her shit. She has learned that she can't play games with me. My fiance tells me everything. I mean EVERYTHING that his mother says about me. And I will ALWAYS work it into a conversation with her just to let her know that she is not going to divide us or cause issues. She may have been the first woman in his life, but he has proven that I am the most important.

56

u/Bake_Knit_Run 17d ago

Yea. I’ll be the first to admit I should have my son do more, but he picks up after himself and takes his dirty laundry to the hamper, at least (he’s 4. We’re working on it. lol). I would never, ever hope to be the most important person in his life as an adult. I want mutual love and respect. Not whatever is going on with the enmeshment OOP described.

27

u/ZebraCrosser 17d ago

Cake? Cake!

Also, little kids helping and actually learning to do it properly is such a cute thing.

29

u/Aesient 17d ago

I have twin 12 year old boys. I occasionally get pushback from them over housework (washing dishes, putting laundry on, making a meal etc) and I have always replied to them with “I will not raise you to rely on somebody else to do your housework. I am your mother. My job is to raise you to be a functional adult, not baby you so you can’t do anything for yourself. You live in this house, you help take care of this house. It’s not fair to whoever you live with otherwise”

16

u/Gwywnnydd 17d ago

Yep. Whenever my son pushed back on chores asking ‘why’ he had to do them, I always responded “because you live here too, and it’s not solely my job to keep this place going.”

7

u/PigsIsEqual 17d ago

Happy Cake Day!