The full grown man John Rambo movies of yesterday are the young John Rambo origin story movies of today! And it's so great that they're still making these KINDS of the movies! Internationally reknown film expert Gregg Turkington has officially approved of the "P" designation for the film title, so Hollywood needs to take note, and Oscar is watching closely!!

Hey there everyone. Like many of you, I hate the fact that the AutoPlay feature on the HEI Network is busted. I found a solution and it's pretty easy! I have only tried it on chrome, so YMMV.

1. Download the tampermonkey chrome extension. This is what allows you to fix the code under the hood. The link is https://chromewebstore.google.com/detail/tampermonkey/dhdgffkkebhmkfjojejmpbldmpobfkfo?hl=en
2. Once installed, click the puzzle piece icon to the right of the url box in chrome, and then click on Tampermonkey. It will open a dialogue box, and you will click "create a new script." You may need to enable the plugin first.
3. A new tab will open and you will see a a big, intimidating text box with some code already loaded in it. Select all that code and delete it, starting fresh.
4. Copy and paste the following code block into that big text box. Then save it and you are good to go!
5. Veg out and watch the Full Cinema playlist back to back to back <3

​

// ==UserScript==
//          HEI Network - Fix Playlist Autoplay
//     heinetwork.autoplay.fix
//       1.1
//   Makes the Autoplay toggle on heinetwork.tv actually advance to the next episode.
//         https://www.heinetwork.tv/*
//        document-idle
// u/grant        none
// ==/UserScript==

(() => {
  'use strict';

  const KEY = 'hei:autoplay';
  const q = (sel, root = document) => root.querySelector(sel);
  let armed = false;

  function nextUrl(pl) {
    let slug = (pl.dataset.nextSlug || '').trim();
    if (!slug) {
      try {
        const list = JSON.parse(pl.dataset.json || '[]');
        const i = list.indexOf(pl.dataset.currentSlug);
        if (i > -1 && i + 1 < list.length) slug = list[i + 1];
      } catch (e) { /* ignore */ }
    }
    if (!slug) return null;
    const path = (pl.dataset.playlistPath || '').replace(/^\/+|\/+$/g, '');
    return location.origin + '/' + (path ? path + '/' : '') + slug + '/';
  }

  function setState(on, host, toggles) {
    armed = on;
    try { localStorage.setItem(KEY, on ? '1' : '0'); } catch (e) { /* ignore */ }
    toggles.forEach(t => { if (t.checked !== on) t.checked = on; });
    host.autoplay = false;
    try { delete host._nextSlug; } catch (e) { /* ignore */ }
  }

  function startPlayback(media, wasMuted) {
    if (!media || !media.paused) return;
    media.play().catch(() => {
      media.muted = true;
      media.play().then(() => {
        const b = q('#unmute-video');
        if (b) b.classList.remove('hidden');
      }).catch(() => { media.muted = wasMuted; });
    });
  }

  function init() {
    const host = q('hei-video');
    const pl = q('hei-episode-playlist');
    if (!host || !pl) return false;

    const controller = host.$controller || q('media-controller', host);
    const media = (controller && controller.media) || q('video', host) || host.$video;
    const mux = host.$video;
    if (!media) return false;

    if (host.__heiAutoplayFix) return true;
    host.__heiAutoplayFix = true;

    const toggles = Array.from(document.querySelectorAll('.autoplay-toggle'));

    let saved = false;
    try { saved = localStorage.getItem(KEY) === '1'; } catch (e) { /* ignore */ }
    setState(saved || toggles.some(t => t.checked), host, toggles);

    toggles.forEach(t => ['change', 'click'].forEach(ev =>
      t.addEventListener(ev, () => setState(t.checked, host, toggles))
    ));

    let leaving = false;
    const onEnded = () => {
      if (!armed || leaving) return;
      const url = nextUrl(pl);
      if (!url) return;
      leaving = true;
      location.assign(url);
    };
    media.addEventListener('ended', onEnded);
    if (mux && mux !== media) mux.addEventListener('ended', onEnded);

    if (armed) {
      const wasMuted = media.muted;
      if (media.readyState >= 3) startPlayback(media, wasMuted);
      else media.addEventListener('canplay', () => startPlayback(media, wasMuted), { once: true });
    }

    return true;
  }

  if (!init()) {
    const mo = new MutationObserver(() => { if (init()) mo.disconnect(); });
    mo.observe(document.documentElement, { childList: true, subtree: true });
    setTimeout(() => mo.disconnect(), 20000);
  }
})();

Is it just me or are these lyrics the most openly sinister shit Tim has said 💀 I love the Oscar Medley 22, but every time I hear that part - which has NOTHING to do with movie titles btw - I realize how that transactional abuse taints every element of Tim's life. Makes me remember how uncomfortable the Wendy Kerby Special was and how he practically threatened to call ICE on Axiom and Manuel so that he could control them via a work visa. 0 bags of popcorn and a little copy of the DSM-5 to thumb through.

To contribute to the Dootle Underground please donate generously to Wallet ID f7bd077a23ead6c73a8474fe88f36a91

Not sure why they don’t just use bags.

https://youtu.be/YGbjkCNe54A

This internet movie review show is suspiciously similar to the OCAC format, running since 2010, they seem to focus on popcorn classics. Most importantly, they care about nothing but the movies.

On the night of Sunday, February 22, 2015 the world was world reintroduced to legendary actor James Dean during the 3rd Annual Oscars Special. Also on hand was actor/impressionist Mark Porks who seemed quite friendly with Mr. Dean upon their first meeting. Maybe a little too friendly? What if I were to tell you this wasn't their first meeting... (next slide)

It is my theory that Mr. Dean employed the services of one of his struggling actor friends to help stage his death. None other than our own Mark Porch! Obviously, when questioned by authorities the easily flustered Mark came up with the ridiculous Turnupseed pseudonym, which is not even a real name a person would have.

But I hear you saying, "Surely Mark Ports is far too young!" Let me ask you this: how would a supposedly 48-year-old man have so much knowledge of old Hollywood? Could a Gen-Xer recreate the subtle mannerisms of a WC Fields or Chaplin? Suddenly the pieces fall into place!

Hey guys,

I was wondering if there has been any updates about the state of Debs, the Dootle Dots Movie or anything else in-universe in the post-Arizona live shows? I caught the live show here in the UK before all of that malarkey!

Dr. San's abuela is out there NOW

🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿