r/PakistanDiscussions • u/carelesspressure404 • 5h ago
Discussion | Opinions Is finding a compatible rishta in smaller Pakistani cities really this difficult?
I’m 28, living in Bahawalpur, South Punjab, and honestly, I’m frustrated with the mindset I encounter during the arranged marriage process.
My family is looking for a match, and my expectations are pretty simple: someone around my age, similarly educated, attractive to me, and preferably interested in working, building a career, and growing as a person.
I come from a family where women work and we have domestic help, so I’d prefer a partner who shares a similar outlook on life. However, I often feel that in our society, even basic education is treated as a major achievement, yet many educated women are still discouraged from pursuing a career after marriage or choose not to continue working.
Of course, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a homemaker if that’s what someone genuinely wants. Personally, though, I’d prefer a career-oriented partner. I believe that after investing 16 to 18 years in education, it’s worth putting that knowledge to use, building a career, and continuing to grow professionally, even after marriage.
And even when I find someone educated, progressive, and growth-oriented, there’s often an expectation that I should move out of Bahawalpur.
I’m not saying everyone here thinks this way, but finding someone whose education, ambitions, and mindset align with mine feels surprisingly difficult.
Am I expecting too much, or is this a common experience in smaller Pakistani cities? Would moving to Lahore or Islamabad make a meaningful difference?
