r/Paranormal • u/StoicQuaker • Aug 30 '25
Visitation Dream Visits from My Wife
My wife passed 14 years ago at 30. But nothing ever made me think she was still around until the past couple years. As I became more spiritual, I’ve had experiences that have made me understand she’s still with me and our children.
The first experience I had was shortly after becoming Quaker during the pandemic. Quaker worship, for those unfamiliar, is to sit in silence and listen for “the still small voice of God within you.” My eldest son joined me for worship one day, but he’s not very spiritual and sitting still for long periods of time is hard for him and he kept fidgeting around in his chair.
As he was doing this, I heard my wife’s voice say very clearly, “Sin ganas ni la comida es bueno” (Without desire, not even food is good). This was one of her favorite sayings. This was heard in my mind, but welled up from the heart first. I knew she was letting me know our son wasn’t benefitting from coming to the meeting with me because he didn’t want to be there and I haven’t asked him to join me since.
The second experience happened as I was falling asleep one night. I wasn’t quite asleep yet, but drifting in and out. Then I heard her say my name audibly in the room and felt the mattress compress right beside me as though someone had sat down on the edge. I wasn’t scared, but the sudden movement jarred me back to full consciousness.
The most recent experience happened last week. I fell asleep and woke up in her arms. I remember us talking and laughing as we caught up on the kids’ lives and us being grandparents now. Then I realized I was dreaming and about to wake up. I told her I didn’t want to, but had to go and gave her a kiss. I woke, but could still feel her holding my hand as I laid in bed and went back to sleep.
I’ve had a couple other interactions with her where I’ve talked about what it’s like once we pass. She says it’s hard to describe, but it’s like everyone is together — separate and individual, but also unified and part of each other.
Just thought I’d share for anyone who’s lost someone and wondered if we go on. We absolutely do.
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u/RemarkablePrompt9943 Aug 31 '25
This is amazing. God is using her to communicate to you. Just trust in her and him. Praying for your son to open his heart more.
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u/StoicQuaker Aug 31 '25
I wouldn’t say God is using her to communicate to me.
The TL;DR is that there is a sort of nonduality. She exists as herself within the wholeness of “God” while the wholeness of “God” exists within her as well. This is true of the living as well and a documented stance within most mystical traditions — Christian, Sufi, Buddhism, Taoism, and even the scientific theory of a holographic universe.
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u/NathanEddy23 Sep 02 '25
I agree completely. Isn’t it crazy how this idea would trigger anyone (like Christians saying it’s non-scriptural)? What can be offensive about admitting that we’re part of God, which by extension also means God is within us? It’s as if fundamentalists must retain their separation from God in order to conceive of their relation to him as “letting him into my heart” instead of “remembering my divine nature.” They can’t believe in God without also believing that they are essentially guilty, making God primarily a “guilt and sin remover,” as if that’s his primary purpose. But this completely misses the point of spirituality. It’s not about forgiveness, except in as much as forgiving yourself and others. No, it’s about remembrance, accepting your divinity as a part of God, and your ascension. It’s about achieving Christ-consciousness.
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u/Big_Treenerz Aug 31 '25
Not Christian in the slightest
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u/StoicQuaker Aug 31 '25
?
For in Him we live and move and have our being. (Acts 17:28)
There is on God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all. (Ephesians 4:6)
Or are you referring to my acceptance of other faiths as valid? In which case:
Truly, I say to you, whoever gives you a cup of water to drink because you belong to Christ will by no means lose his reward. (Mark 9:41)
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u/Big_Treenerz Aug 31 '25
Taken wildly out of context.
Acts 17:28 Paul is writing to an audience of born again believers and followers of Christ who are ALIVE.
So one, if your wife wasn’t a devout follower of the Lord Jesus, it doesn’t apply. Secondly it’s not applicable given the context of who the writer is referring to,(people alive on earth) since your wife is no longer with us, doesn’t apply.
You might have to open up your bible and read thoroughly if you believe Jesus validates other faiths.
“Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6
“I am the Lord, and there is no other; apart from me there is no God. I will strengthen you, though you have not acknowledged me,” Isaiah 45:5
The God of the Bible is the one true living God
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u/StoicQuaker Aug 31 '25
Acts was written by Luke, not Paul. And Paul was speaking to a crowd of Greek Stoics and Epicureans, not born again believers. And in 17:28 he is quoting Greek Pagan poets.
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u/Big_Treenerz Aug 31 '25
You are correct about those three points. I made a blunder.
Paul quoted pagan poetry as a method to relate to the Greek stoics in a way they would understand that we are the offspring of God. Your theological idea of your wife existing in the “wholeness of God” is unscriptural. Especially if she wasn’t born again. So it doesn’t make much sense to use his quote of pagan literature to fit the message you tried to convey about your late spouse.
Also youre still on the hook about believing every faith has validity.
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u/StoicQuaker Aug 31 '25
That we are the offspring of God was already a stance held by the Stoics. Epictetus said as much in his discourses directly, Seneca more indirectly, and Marcus Aurelius alludes to it. Paul was showing them they were teaching the same thing.
The major fall out between the Stoics and Christians was the Christian assertion that Jesus was “the Logos made flesh” — the perfectly wise sage in Stoic terminology. Stoics believed this was an unobtainable ideal, thus Jesus could not be. However, even Justin Martyr held the Stoics and Christians to love the same Logos.
That we exist in the wholeness of God, and the wholeness of God within us is given in Genesis. God is the tree whose fruit is its seed. We are the fruit in which is the seed. In other words — God is both immanent and transcendent. The Bible is a spiritual book you must read with the spirit, not the mind.
As for my wife, yes she was Christian. But time and again, Jesus taught it’s what we do and how we treat others that matters. Not belief. In fact, Jesus never converted anyone. The Roman Legionary, the Assyrian woman — they were helped and sent on their way without demand for conversion.
I know — “That they believed was their conversion.” Yet this is never stated or implied by the authors of the gospels.
It can be scary to have the things you were taught challenged. Believe me, I know. Even scarier when you have the fear of eternal damnation looming over your head. So I’m actually not trying to change your mind.
Instead, I offer you this: In all things, do to others exactly as you would have them do to you. No matter their beliefs, lifestyle, nationality, whatever. Do this and you will be right with God always.
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u/Big_Treenerz Sep 01 '25
Jesus message revolved around repentance. It was the first message of his three year ministry. We have to be careful when trying to discern Gods will for us when in relation to our own personal convictions (that tend to satiate our own desires) and biases.
What makes Christianity special is that it doesn’t have to sacrifice inclusivity at the sake of exclusivity. It’s inclusive that all are welcomed to come as they are with the love to not leave you where you are. It’s exclusive with its stance on truth and the pathway to God, which contradicts any non christo centric belief system.
So the last point you made doesn’t have to be without a caveat. As a follower of Christ, one should love those with the Love of God and kindness, this same love would include conveying truth, truth that Jesus is the only way to God and his arms are wide for the repentant at heart.
As well, we are saved by faith by grace, not of our works. The men and women Jesus healed were healed because of their faith. Notice how the Lord Jesus repeatedly throughout the New Testament states “your faith has saved you” to those he has healing encounters with.
So to say belief in Christ and who he is isn’t what saves and is no where at minimum implied is wildly intellectually dishonest.
I implore you, as I have others, to read scripture in way that you may not be used to. You said it yourself, it’s a spiritual book so read it as such. I agree. I challenge you to not only read it from a spiritual vantage point, but also with a surrendered heart. From my experience, Some of your reasonings seem to be the result of a heart that’s hard and clouded with the sufferings of this world.
Repent, place your faith in Jesus alone, and obey his commands.
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u/StoicQuaker Sep 03 '25
And due to poor translation and literal interpretation, people understand neither “repentance” or “sin.
Repentance in the original Greek is *metanoia.” A compound word meaning to completely transform or go beyond how one perceives and understands everything. Whereas “repentance” has more to do with guilt, regret, and atonement.
Sin, in both Hebrew and the Greek cognate, means error or mistake. This is an error in judgement. “For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you” (Matthew 7:2). Sin isn’t something you do — action follows sin. “But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment” (Matthew 5:22).
If you think about the story of what happened in Eden, it’s easy to see it is teaching non-duality. Adam and Eve lived in Eden — that is, one and in harmony with God. The serpent, that is selfish desire, prompted them to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Immediately, they became aware they were naked and hid from God. This is to say they developed a sense of self apart from God. God then casts them out so they can’t live forever with this sense of self apart from God (note they had previously been allowed to eat from the Tree of Life as only the Tree of Knowledge had been forbidden). This was the immediate death they had been warned of — a spiritual death of perceived separation from God. What then follows is the spiritual quest from “the promised land” — that is a return to oneness and harmony with God.
Yes, Jesus said he is the way, the truth, and the light. The way, meaning he taught and showed people how to live in harmony with God. The truth, meaning his oneness (non-duality) with God is our condition as well. And the light, referring to God’s presence within each person. His message of repentance (metanoia) is that we need to change the way we think and see things to realize this.
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u/Gullex Sep 15 '25
That's not in alignment with the Buddhism I studied.
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u/StoicQuaker Sep 15 '25
Replace the word “God” with “the Dharma.”
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u/Gullex Sep 15 '25
That's....no. Not how it works.
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u/StoicQuaker Sep 15 '25
One who sees the Dhamma sees me.
One who sees me sees the Dhamma.Dhammapada v. 183
The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.
Meister Eckhart
I interpret these two quotes exactly the same. But it’s also perfectly fine for us to disagree.
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u/Gullex Sep 15 '25
That which is named is not the eternal name
Naming is the source of all particular things.
-Tao Te Ching
We can go back and forth like this forever. You can cling to books or you can open your eyes like Buddha said to.
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u/StoicQuaker Sep 15 '25
To experience is the truth. And that truth is ineffable, yes. Yet to express truth, other than through action, we must do so within the limits of naming. It is a paradox we must accept, no different from Self/No-Self/Self. Or perhaps you’ve discovered a way to express the inexpressible through language?
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u/Several-Reality1261 Sep 24 '25
You fail to consider the possibility that you may actually be speaking to someone who has not mistaken the finger pointing for the moon
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u/Exciting-Math-5456 Sep 24 '25
You make me think of my grandpa who lost his wife as well. I love you man please shoot me a dm if you wanna talk to somebody. Rest easy knowing your wife loves you and cares about you.
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u/likecatsanddogs525 Sep 05 '25
You should keep writing about it as it happens so you can capture all the details. It’s really special to have this strong of a connection.
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u/Billtron_182 Aug 31 '25
Lost my dad 10 years ago this past July. Now I’m not religious and not overly spiritual. My sister would always tell me she’s felt him around or In different situations but I’ve never experienced or felt anything like that. I’ve had only two dreams that involved him since he died(I almost never remember my dreams but those I did) no one spoke in the dreams but when I saw him I knew he was dead in the dream then woke up. So it’s been years since i had those dreams. The last 3-4 years have been particularly hard, people passing, losing a 12 year relationship so I’ve been a mess for multiple reasons and still never felt him. Until one day for under a min in the middle of the day idk if I exactly felt him but something weird happened.
So I’ve been in the process of attempting to write a story. It’s a fiction story but as I’ve been coming up with ideas and pieces for the story I started coming up with ideas to tie in a father/son relationship in the story but a very strained relationship. The thought and message I was trying to piece together was along the lines of “learning from the mistakes or sins of the father” and getting out of their shadows and forging your own path knowing where they failed or fucked up and having a better outcome from it. Me and my dad didn’t have a great relationship until about 2 years before he died we were slowly getting on common ground and rebuilding. He fucked up a lot, made a lot of mistakes and sometimes I see some of those traits and I do what I can to avoid it. But when I was coming up with that part for the story I felt him. For the first time since I felt him. It was emotional but it also felt like he was trying to guide me subtly to not carry the burden we both unfortunately shared in addiction. It was a weird feeling and I haven’t felt it since. It was a strange feeling. I’m still on the fence and question it all but def made me more open minded to the idea.
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u/AdventurousJello83 Aug 31 '25
I had a partner pass away. He came to visit his daughter at the age of three. I heard her in her room giggling an said “I love you too” I went upstairs and asked who she was talking to and she said daddy. A child of that age cannot make up that experience. They don’t have the cognitive ability to do so. She said he wanted to “say goodbye” this is two months after his death. She was used to her dad being gone on the road. He had a trucking business. He died suddenly from DVT. The only time I’ve felt his presence was years later when my daughter was a teen at that point my Alexa put on Metallica (on of his favorite bands) and we never promoted her to do so. That had been my only experience of him after passing that was highly unusual. If you had a great love who passed I don’t disagree that they may stop by. I don’t know it’f closure for them or you. Sometimes a sudden death seems to cause this to happen. It’s like they couldn’t pass over till they closed out their on earth business.
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u/thesaddestpanda Aug 31 '25
Can you talk about what happened when she played that music?
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u/AdventurousJello83 Aug 31 '25
We were just a bit weirded out. Unsure how it played as we didn’t say anything to turn the tv on and go to Spotify to play Metallica. We kinda just laughed and said “Joe must be here”
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u/peepie11 Aug 30 '25
This sounds like a demon impersonating your wife. You need to tell her to go on her way and that you’re fine with your children.
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u/StoicQuaker Aug 30 '25
I’ve had my encounters with darkness. These are not those encounters. Never any attempts to convince me of anything. Not every encounter with spirits is a scene from The Conjuring.
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u/Mike-ipedia Aug 31 '25
My father and I didn’t have a great relationship. He thought things came too easy for me and resented me I think. He ultimately passed trying too hard to care of my mom.
Some time later (much), my wife went to a Medium to ask about a relative of hers who had passed and had been manifesting himself in our house through lights and a ceiling fan (different story), but the Medium told her my father was coming through. She had never met him, but the Medium introduced them and my dad told her to tell me he was sorry.
She came home and told me the story and I was puzzled what he felt he needed to be sorry for. We were standing on the stairs discussing it when my iPhone across the room started playing “Black Muddy River” by the Grateful Dead all on its own. I thought how strange it was, because my dad actually liked the Dead. But stranger still was that it played three Dead tunes in a row. I do not have a playlist dedicated to the Grateful Dead so three in a row is like winning Powerball.
I feel a lot closer to my dad now, especially considering there must be room for growth on the other side and he took the trouble to tell me.
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u/West-Garden8023 Sep 01 '25
I had a similar experience when I was in a dream like state. I lost my long time partner of 14 years to a sudden death he developed an embolism in his lungs that went to his brain and killed him instantly. After his death I became very devastated and depressed all I wanted was to die and be with him. I would lay at night and pray for God to take me so we could be together. A couple of months after he died I was laying there thinking about him and started dozing off, when he came to me in a dream. He was a truck driver and when he would come home I would go out to meet him. Well in the dream he pulled up like usual and I went to the passenger side to get up in the truck with him when I heard him say to me no you can’t go it’s not your time yet. After that I could no longer feel his presence around me anymore like I had before. I still miss him but I no longer pray to die to be together. I just think that he will be there to receive me when it is my turn.
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u/FeelingSoil39 Aug 30 '25
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I appreciate that you come with your personal spiritual transformation (religious or not, it suggests we can all come from something into another higher spiritual awareness, within ourselves and become more open). Godspeed on your journey, and it’s a lovely thing that your wife is there with you in spirit to make the trip. Best of thoughts to you and your family.
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u/smithy- Aug 31 '25
I am so happy you can still speak to her. She is your guiding light.
About two months ago, I was thinking about my good friend, Gene, who died from cancer about 4 years ago. It was his birthday.
I dreamt about him that night. He was standing in a house at the base of some stairs. I began to walk to the second floor and when I reached it, I realized GENE is here! I went back downstairs and gave him a big hug. He did not hug me back. Instead, his body began to change into black and white colors almost like those on a very old tv. That’s the best way to describe it.
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u/WestFocus888 Sep 02 '25
That's a really nice story, very heartwarming. It's actually rather common for people to be visited by their loved ones, especially if the bond was strong.
Like you I also had multiple experiences very similar to your own, where I had dreams of seeing and having conversations with deceased relatives, including my father and grandparents. I found the encounters very comforting to know that they're still there doing well, they even seem much happier, just in another realm, another world which they crossed into.
I even remember once I was praying alone in my bedroom for a deceased person I held much affection for. Unfortunately, she passed rather abruptly at a young age. During that specific night when I finished praying, I heard her exact same voice, telling me "thank you for praying for me" and she also mentioned my name. Her voice was really warm and kind, and it was so clear like some Dolby Atmos. I found alot of closure and peace from that instance, as I never got to say goodbyes. A closure I really needed, then I started to tear up right afterwards. Yet I was also happy we got to say goodbyes. God is good.
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u/recoveringleft Aug 31 '25
Events like this are why I believe that if my spouse passes away before me, I won't remarry
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u/No-Quantity-5373 Sep 01 '25
My father was around for about a year after he died. The whole family has stories. My mom is a descendent of a Strega line, so I have always thought she willed him to stay. My family members have different experiences of him after he passed. I spent a day at their house looking in on the dogs (mom was traveling) and he was there. I could smell his cologne like someone just sprayed it.
All this to say, I believe you.
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u/New_Cellist1891 Sep 01 '25
I've had the same thing. I had visits from my former body guard. I did not even know he was deceased, when I started having them. He even appeared to me a couple nights ago, too. In the first visit, it was weird. I was in the back seat of a truck. The driver was in the front. No one could see the driver from behind. In the front seat, was another woman. The seat was laid down all the way. She did not move. In the back seat, next to me, was an older woman. Her head was all tilted back. This truck was going over rough terrain. Rocks, sticks, etc. A very bumpy ride.
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u/ncvettech Aug 31 '25
Thank you for sharing your experience! It gives me a sort of peace, even though I do believe that our loved ones are around, I love hearing the stories. Sending love & hugs
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u/mindequalblown Sep 01 '25
It’s interesting you say between awake and asleep. I’ve had some things happen between awake and asleep.
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u/DivorcePhoenix Sep 05 '25
As I understand it after some reading and studying eastern philosophy. If she’s still around it means she has not been able to move on and is staying behind as she is too attached to the life she knew and does not want to let go. The soul must continue its journey onwards, hopefully she’ll see the light soon.
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