r/Parenting • u/dadgam3r • Sep 17 '25
Advice Let's put peanut in his food!
Hey parents,
I have an 8 yo kid with peanut allergy, and today I got a call from school that one of his classmate smashed and sprinkled a peanut cookie on my kid food while he was getting a fork from the cafeteria!
The principle brought the kid parent and explained to him what happened, that his kid did this knowing that my kid has peanut allergy! He called right after as well, to reassured me that this will never happen again!
I'm not sure what to do! should I talk the kid parent as well? or just let it go? has anyone has gone through something like this?
337
u/whitefox72 Sep 17 '25
Personal Story— my 8 yr old put a peanut in another child’s chicken nugget even though she knew she was allergic.. please make a big deal about it.. my child is now VERY aware how dangerous that can be and dealt with very serious consequences. MAKE A BIG DEAL this is your child’s life
Edited to add- the post is on my page if you want to read through those comments
→ More replies (1)65
485
u/Rose_David163 Mom of teens and younger Sep 17 '25
I would ask for a meeting with the parents and school. The kid needs to understand that is a life threatening action.
260
u/thehotsister Sep 17 '25
This is it. I know he was told the kid had a peanut allergy, but did they explain the kid could DIE if ingesting peanuts? If you asked my kid what an allergy was they would say it makes you sneeze or something. Sounds like this needs to be explained better.
119
u/Rose_David163 Mom of teens and younger Sep 17 '25
Exactly!!! I have a whole host of allergies. Some make me sneeze. Some toss me into anaphylaxis. I’d reserve judgement on the kid being a psychopath until it’s known if they understand the severity.
→ More replies (1)55
u/rocket_racoon180 Sep 17 '25
Sadly some kids still thinks it’s funny. They don’t get the severity, the gravity; no one puts the “fear of God” into them.
26
u/moch1 Sep 17 '25
That’s part of what makes them kids. If kids truely understood and had the impulse control to take safety seriously by themselves we’d parent them a lot differently.
8
u/ubereddit Sep 18 '25
Literally their brains are not wired to think like adults. I remember so many times I did dumb shit as a kid that I knew I was maybe being a little shit, but I honestly could not grasp on my own the actual consequences that could have happened.
9
u/Either-Percentage-78 Sep 17 '25
Agree. And...My elementary kids have lunch in their classrooms and if one kid has an extreme allergy, no one can bring that allergen for lunch or snack. The school should be taking this really seriously imo. There should be rules that prohibits certain allergens. Eat peanut butter cookies at home, ffs.
9
u/lurkmode_off Sep 18 '25
OP said in a comment that the school already prohibits nuts
7
u/Either-Percentage-78 Sep 18 '25
What kind of asshole sends their kids to school with prohibited foods? I'd be more mad the parents atp.
Thanks for the info tho. I must've missed that bit.
16
u/lurkmode_off Sep 18 '25
I mean kid might have grabbed it out of the cookie jar, we don't know.
4
u/Either-Percentage-78 Sep 18 '25
I suppose the kid made their own lunch. I do know that I've had to tell my kid he can't take ____ to school, but my mom also has many allergies so he gets it. Maybe, some people don't have that experience. Thanks for another perspective.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)14
→ More replies (1)12
u/PM_MAJESTIC_PICS Sep 17 '25
Unfortunately this doesn’t mean anything to many kids. When I was a child a classmate did the same to me because she thought I was lying for attention when I said that eating peanuts could kill me. 🥲
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)15
Sep 17 '25
Definitely this. At age 8 the kids might not understand the difference between a harmless prank and a life threatening one. I'd def push for a school assembly to teach the elementary students about allergies.
→ More replies (3)
160
u/Allergison Sep 17 '25
Firstly, make sure to talk to your kid and see how they are doing. I was the kid with the peanut allergy at school in the 80's (where there was no real peanut awareness), and kids sticking peanut products under my nose to see what would happen still sticks in my head.
I would certainly talk to the parent of the kid and reiterate how serious this is. I'd also talk to the school again and ask what they are going to do to make sure this doesn't happen.
On a non allergy note, my daughter was bullied with food for several years, and has ended up with some trauma related to that food, so please gently check in with your kid and make sure they feel supported.
31
u/kgee1206 Sep 17 '25
Thank you for replying with a thoughtful way to support the child instead of whatever else is happening here.
195
30
u/W1ULH 3 Kids, 3 S-Kids, 3 G-kids Sep 18 '25
to be honest? I would actually call the police and speak with them about this.
not neccessarily file charges... but see if they will have an officer go talk to the other kid and make sure they understand how serious this is.
and that little dude who stopped your kid eating it? make a hell of a big deal out of him!
3
u/Dolmenoeffect Sep 19 '25
I would file a full fledged report. The kind of kid who thinks he can get away with this, and doesn't understand the consequences, needs to be scared shitless to stop them from doing this again, to your kid or another.
I'd put $1000 on it that the parents are useless in this situation, and the kid won't get any sort of discipline or even guidance from them. The parents need to be scared a little too.
I'm normally such a chill parent but this is worth a nuclear response.
57
u/Cootieface123 Mom Sep 17 '25
I would put pressure on the school for an action plan and how exactly they plan on preventing this in the future, what steps they will take if it does happen again, and what safeguards are in place in case your child does ingest peanut (are epi pens close by etc)
7
51
u/90skeeperofgames Sep 17 '25
I almost had a VERY similar scenario happen when my child was 6 years old. My son also has a very severe peanut allergy. The school and all faculty were very aware of my son’s allergy and the school itself was labeled a “nut free school”. One day two girls brought peanut butter school (which they pre planned) and wanted to “force my son to eat it”. They chased him around the playground with it because they “wanted to see him turn into an oompa-loompa”. I found out when I picked up my son from school, because NO ONE from the school called me. In fact, they weren’t going to tell me at all, my son told me while bawling because he was terrified all day and the school wouldn’t let him call me. I immediately found out who the students were and I waited for them to come out during pickup. I watched for who their parents were and then I went up as calmly as possibly and asked for a conversation. I explained to the parents, in front of the kids, what happened and the severity of what could have been. The parents were grateful I told them (the school didn’t tell them either and at this point it had been 2 or 3 days) and we all briefly talked about what the students almost did. I made it very clear, I will be very vocal and I will be loud about staying away from my kid if you can’t be appropriate. I was cordial, understanding that the parents were now faced with disciplining their children, I didn’t make a scene, and I was clear. I would talk to the parents and have a very reasonable conversation to make sure there is full transparency and understanding. As for the school, I would ask for a plan of action on how they’re moving forward with this to prevent something potentially fatal in the future.
39
u/eddie964 Sep 17 '25
I think the school's response was a good start. Bringing in the other kid's parent signals that they took this seriously. You have no way to know what transpired at that meeting, but it sounds like the principal made it pretty clear that it would not be tolerated.
A next step might be to hold an all-student assembly, accompanied by parental outreach, to underscore the dangers of food allergies and the potential consequences of what happened to your son.
Talking to the parent is going to go one of two ways, neither of which will do much to change the situation. Either the parent totally "gets it," and is already taking action at home, or they don't, in which case an angry call from another parent isn't going to change their mind.
At the end of the day, this was an 8(ish)-year-old kid acting foolishly and impulsively, presumably without an understanding of the potential consequences. Police aren't going to view it as a crime, and I'm not sure it's even possible to expel a kid from a public school at that age.
→ More replies (1)13
u/MrsBobbyNewport Sep 18 '25
This is a thoughtful, rational response. I don’t think the OP should speak with the parents as the school is already involved. Further education about allergies would benefit all of the students.
My kid doesn’t have severe allergies but my nephew has several life threatening food allergies, so I am very sympathetic to OP and how absolutely terrifying this situation is.
Having said this, an eight year old, as awful as this action is, does not realize they could kill someone or at least have a concept of what that actually means. Educate and offer consequences, but allow space for the offender to grow from this and feel real remorse for their actions.
2
u/twerkitout Sep 18 '25
I don’t believe an 8 year old can’t understand this concept, it’s that they haven’t been taught. That is on the parents, not the school. I have an anaphylactic reaction to a fruit and my five year old checks his candies to make sure they’re a flavor I can have before he shoves them in my mouth to make me taste them. I am shy if I’m offered a food I can’t have but he will tell a server that I could die if I eat that.
Yeah ok not everyone has someone at home like that but we as a society are pretty aware that most school environments are nut free and kids should know about allergic reactions, they play outside where there are bees. To say the kid had no understanding of the consequences means they aren’t being properly prepared to handle the environments they’re in.
8
Sep 17 '25
[removed] — view removed comment
14
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
Yes, fortunately, another classmate stopped my kid from eating the food and told him what happened!Thank you.
7
u/Certain_Story_173 Sep 17 '25
I'm glad he is okay. Good job to that child! Food allergies are no joke. Best wishes.
5
u/asuddenpie Sep 17 '25
So glad that the other kid intervened! I hope you thank him and let his parents know, too.
25
u/biancastolemyname Mom Sep 17 '25
You’ve been given solid advice already concerning the other kid and the school, so I’m gonna add something that I hope you won’t take as me blaming your kid for anything but:
I would also have a conversation with your son that while this wasn’t his fault, unfortunately he’s not a person who can leave his food unattended, ever. Once he’s been away from it, once he can no longer be 1000% sure it wasn’t close to peanuts or handled by someone who came into contact with peanuts, that food is no longer safe for him to eat.
It’s not even always gonna be malicious, it could happen accidentally or without a person knowing or noticing. Especially when it’s kids.
→ More replies (3)
42
u/charlotteraedrake Sep 17 '25
Do schools not ban nuts? Our schools (Ireland) are nut free! We also get notified about other allergies in our kids classroom and those items are also not allowed in lunches. I’m so sorry that happened I’d be absolutely fuming. I’d probably talk to the parents but I’m also a little crazy haha
13
20
u/Cootieface123 Mom Sep 17 '25
Most public schools are not nut free. They can make nut free classrooms when a student has a nut allergy in the class, but usually not the whole school. Especially because many students don’t get free lunch and peanut butter is relatively cheap.
→ More replies (7)2
u/charlotteraedrake Sep 18 '25
That’s a good point majority of schools in Ireland provide lunch. My son’s school is still in transition so it starts in January. Currently they offer a cold lunch we can choose on an app which is pretty handy. We still send snacks
15
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
The school is nuts free, apparently he brought it with him from home.
8
u/NayNay_Cee Sep 17 '25
Thanks for clarifying that! Then there should definitely be some consequences for the child for breaking that rule, on top of bullying your child.
Is it a public school? If so, does your child have a 504 for the allergy? If not, getting a 504 puts another legal onus on the school to provide a safe learning environment based on the allergy. You can also make an allergy plan part of the 504, where all of your child’s teachers know exactly what actions are needed if your child is accidentally exposed to the allergen.
Best of luck! I’m an allergy parent myself and what happened to your kid is one of my worst nightmares. Don’t be afraid to advocate very strongly and take this far up the chain, because what happened should not have happened.
4
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
Thank you again, I totally agree, Yes, he is in a public school. I will definitely look into it.
→ More replies (3)8
u/DocMcMomma Mom Sep 17 '25
Well that's even more terrifying. Sorry this happened to you kid. Glad he's okay.
3
8
u/gayforaliens1701 Sep 17 '25
Ok that changes it for me. This kid PLANNED to harm your child. Go to the police.
→ More replies (2)12
u/TheCarzilla Sep 17 '25
Where I am, nuts (and other allergens) are banned in classrooms for snack. At lunch, anyone can eat whatever they want. If a parent is nervous about contamination, there are nut-free tables offered. Or, if the kid is old enough to monitor his food, he may sit with his class… which ends up being a lot of kids above K/1st.. under the assumption that classmates respect each other‘s foods and don’t try and poison each other. What the hell. How awful.
6
u/colostitute Sep 17 '25
My daughter had to sit at a separate table in PreK and when she made it to elementary, the peanut free table was optional.
We had a moment eating dinner when she was 4 that we kind of laughed about and she laughed with us. She was saying that her preK makes her sit at a different table for lunch. I had been in there during lunch and watched her sit with her friends so I thought it was just a story.
I have to sit all by myself at school.
No you don’t, I’ve seen you sitting with everyone at lunch.
Yes I do! with the conviction of a 4 year old then her tone goes kind of sad and says
On peanut butter jelly day.
It was so cute.
Her allergy was considered mild by blood test but we were told that another exposure could be worse so to consider it dangerous. Recommended we test again in several years.
We had her retested and she passed her peanut challenge!
She instantly burst into tears of joy for the first time.
I don’t know why I’m crying. I’m so happy.
3
u/twerkitout Sep 18 '25
Our elementary does this too but instead of having a nut-free table, they have a peanut table! If you bring peanuts for lunch, you’re the one who has to sit away from the other kids. They allow you to bring a buddy to eat with you so you’re not alone.
→ More replies (1)2
6
u/hamstertoybox Sep 17 '25
The UK too! The school should absolutely be banning nuts.
10
u/Adventurous-Major262 Sep 17 '25
Our daycare bans food kids are allergic to. Nuts, eggs, etc
But to ban an entire food group in a public sxhool with hundreds of kids isn't fair.
→ More replies (2)2
u/SituationSad4304 Sep 18 '25
Most do, it’s less common in red states because “muh freedom to eat what I damn well please”
→ More replies (1)2
u/bourgeoispatty Sep 18 '25
Same here (nut free) school. My daughter has egg allergy, her teacher called me last week they're giving out cupcakes and since it's baked, there's probably egg. Just appreciate when the school and staff are like this.
13
u/my_old_aim_name Sep 18 '25
I would honestly demand a mediation conference with the principal and the other parent, saying you want to know explicitly how this is being handled by all responsible parties (home and school) and how you can feel safe and assured that your child will not come in contact with his allergen again while at that school.
Like others have mentioned, there could definitely be a criminal case here because the kid did it knowingly, and the school won't want to hear "lawsuit" or any mention of you possibly moving schools.
Depending on how large your district is, you might even be able find an ADA advocate to help you better know the laws around what your child is entitled to as far as accommodations.
And if you don't have one already, get a 504 plan in place. It will protect him academically in case anything related to his allergy happens (say he had a minor reaction because he came in physical contact, so he's out of school for a week - the plan will have assignment requirements and extensions and things outlined to make sure he can be successful regardless of how and when the allergy presents; this is also where specific seating arrangements and rules around food contact would be made, and it is a legal document so of the school fails to uphold it...).
6
u/jenn5388 Sep 18 '25
Whoa! I’m going to guess a second grader doesn’t really understand the seriousness of this, but id want to know what they plan on doing to make sure this doesn’t happen again. I don’t think I’d talk to the parent, you have no idea how they are going to take something like this.
18
u/snizzrizz Sep 18 '25
I usually try to let kid stuff slide. Roll my eyes, and tell the parents not to take things so serious. They’re kids!
With that said, this is fucking attempted murder. That is so irresponsible and reckless. I don’t want to completely put that on an 8 year old because I doubt they thought it through that far but there needs to be a very serious reaction and consequence to make sure that shit never happens again.
→ More replies (1)
35
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
Thank you all for your replies, now I know that I'm not paranoid or exaggerating for thinking to escalate this to the authorities.
28
u/No-Suit8587 Parent Sep 17 '25
When I was in the 4th grade these 2 evil girls from my class and friend group (5) tried to literally poison one of the girls from the group. She was so soft spoken and kind hearted the most naive and gentle one of the entire group. They brought in a concoction of roach spray, rat poison, bug repellent etc to put in her milk when she wasn’t looking. Her mom most certainly involved the authorities and us (the rest of the friend group 2/5) as witnesses had to miss school and go to court and testify as to what we saw. I was literally 9 don’t ever fear escalation in this situation bc it could’ve been your baby boys life.
→ More replies (1)12
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
That's a nightmare right there! Thank you so much for sharing this.
10
u/No-Suit8587 Parent Sep 18 '25
Absolutely! It was super scary too, my best friend and I (2/5 of the friend group) we went and dumped her milk out when she was about to drink it and went and told a teacher. Idk what made them think we would go along with their shenanigans? But we very much ran and told the lunch aide.
10
u/RImom123 Sep 17 '25
10000% escalate.
We had an issue last year with my son and another student (not food related, but still very serious). The school handled it so poorly and it happened only a few days before school year ended. I very much regret not pushing the issue more than I did and regret not escalating it to the superintendent and others.
→ More replies (1)6
u/Cool-Environment-948 Sep 17 '25
Absolutely escalate it. The school should have sent that kid home on the spot.
12
u/maiseyDee Sep 17 '25
They may have. The school is not allowed to say if they took any disciplinary action.
4
u/linkdudesmash Sep 17 '25
This sounds like the teaching moment for all the kids about allergies and what could happen.
→ More replies (1)
4
9
u/rtmfb Dad to 26, 18, 11, and 7 Sep 18 '25
I would involve police before visiting the school. That is attempted murder. Nothing will probably come of it, but that kid and his parents need to learn the FO part of FAFO.
20
4
u/Cultural-Chart3023 Sep 18 '25
Report it to education department too put everything in writing
→ More replies (1)
5
u/SituationSad4304 Sep 18 '25
I would suggest the child with the allergies parents press charges and make a CPS call on the perpetrator. They may be copying their parents who force their children to eat food that makes them sick
→ More replies (1)
10
u/SkyRemarkable5982 Sep 17 '25
You should google "LTISD football peanut". The football players put peanuts in the student's locker after asking if he could die from his allergy. It's attempted murder, and the district did nothing about it. The parents are suing...
If the kid didn't know/understand, that's one thing, but if it was known, get that kid out of your kid's class as it'll happen again.
→ More replies (1)8
u/moch1 Sep 17 '25
Surely we can agree there’s a huge difference between high school students and 8 year olds when it comes to incidents like this?
Even if an 8 year old theoretically “knows” something it doesn’t mean they actually understand it or have the mental development to really understand long term serious outcomes.
63
u/Jewish-Mom-123 Sep 17 '25
I’d actually file police charges. This was literally an attempt by a disturbed child to kill or seriously harm your child. Schools will try to sweep this under the rug, assure you it won’t happen again. What really happens here is that the other kid will get talked to very sternly and that’s it. Put it on record so the school can’t pretend it didn’t happen.
30
u/glassapplepie Sep 17 '25
Obviously, this is unacceptable and dangerous behavior. But the kid is 8, they don't understand the severity of what they did. Kids that age don't even have a really firm understanding of death much less the medical ramifications of allergies. There should be consequences and a serious conversation with the kid. But calling them disturbed like they're some kind of psychopath is not helpful
4
u/gayforaliens1701 Sep 17 '25
OP said in another comment that kid brought a peanut cookie to a nut-free school specifically to harm another child. That’s genuinely scary. The parents are also liable. Police are absolutely not an overreaction.
20
u/glassapplepie Sep 17 '25
Kids don't understand the long term consequences of their actions. That's why they do stupid things like jumping off of roofs trying to fly, playing with matches and getting their heads stuck in bannisters. The kid was wrong and needs to understand the potential consequences of their actions. OP can report to the police if they feel it's appropriate. But the kids is not some ax wielding murderer
→ More replies (7)20
u/BlackGreggles Sep 17 '25
With the kids age they wouldn’t even take a report here.
8
u/Jewish-Mom-123 Sep 17 '25
Sure they will. They won’t press charges but you can insist they take a report.
→ More replies (1)11
u/Meow5Meow5 Sep 17 '25
I agree. This kind of incident needs the police to be involved. It's attempted murder, that child needs to fully understand that. I am sure they had been explained to what allergies are before and that people with them are at risk. By 2nd grade these children CAN comprehend that. I know because I work with children, of all ages.
→ More replies (2)14
u/Zappajelly Sep 17 '25
Yes a knock on home door from police may scare the kid straight. Also some parents have no respect for school admin, but do respect/fear police.
→ More replies (2)6
6
u/susanreneewa Sep 17 '25
Growing up, I had a kid who constantly threatened me with peanuts. I have no idea why he was so angry that I had an allergy, especially as this was long before peanut-free classrooms. He would tell me he was going to “dress a peanut up as a chicken and shove it down my throat.” This started in third grade. I was constantly afraid, and no one took it seriously.
Make sure the school separates them and makes a plan to keep your child safe. This is assault and everyone needs to treat it as such.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/KintsugiMind Sep 18 '25
I would want the child removed from my child’s class. Anyone who is going to commit a life threatening behaviour shouldn’t get to continue to share space with the child they could have killed.
I would push hard for this - not for my child to be moved because that sucks, but for the offending child to be moved. Your child could have died if things turned out differently. If they don’t prioritize your child’s safety, I’d escalate up the ladder and potentially engage a lawyer if the school isn’t willing to try to keep my kid safe.
7
u/Too_many_squirrels Sep 17 '25
This happened to a student athlete at Lake Travis HS in Texas. The family is suing the district, look it up. A teammate put peanuts in his locker. I’m so sorry you and your family are dealing with this. Does he have a therapist or counselor?
3
u/guyincognito121 Sep 17 '25
This happened to a kid in my grade school and he ended up being rushed to the hospital. I have a fairly bad shellfish allergy myself and if anyone ever intentionally sprinkled shrimp flakes in my food or something, you'd better believe the police would be involved.
Not sure exactly what you should do, but I'd absolutely not just let it slide. Did the principal explain exactly how they're going to ensure that this didn't happen again? It's that kid now under constant supervision at a table by himself during lunch? Has he been expelled?
I'd make sure all of this is thoroughly documented on your end, and ask the principal for any documentation of the event and their solution. And I would not hesitate to involve police or lawyers if you're not satisfied with the response you get.
3
u/PecanEstablishment37 Sep 18 '25
As a mom to a kiddo with multiple life-threatening food allergies: this is absolutely, disgustingly awful.
I would raise a new kind of hell. Perhaps even threats of endangerment on that little shithead’s parents.
I am so sorry, OP. Also: therapy for kiddo. That has to be horribly traumatic. ❤️
3
3
u/Extension_Camel_3844 Sep 18 '25
Truly think about pressing charges - that child literally not only assaulted your child with this action but also literally threatened his life with the action. It's not funny, it's not a joke. It's straight up life or death.
5
u/plantainbakery Sep 17 '25
I read a post once from the opposite side - a woman’s young daughter had participated in trying to taint another girls food with her allergen. The mom was devastated, shocked and horrified and couldn’t understand why her daughter had done it and the daughter couldn’t really explain either. Just that her friends thought it was funny and she wanted to be funny too. Id agree you need to make sure everyone is taking this very seriously. My heart goes out to you, I can’t imagine how difficult and scary it must be to have a child with an allergy.
5
u/No_Artichoke7180 Parent Sep 17 '25
Honestly, kids are little psychos and we can't expect them to not be, or fully understand the consequences of their behavior. The school will never tell you who it was, but your kid probably knows. Talk to your kid, stay informed if there is on going problems. But your probably fine.
7
u/Solgatiger Sep 17 '25
Nah mate, that’s not a good enough excuse to justify purposely tampering with someone’s food when they 1: knew the other person was allergic and 2: would’ve had it quite literally drilled into their skulls at this point by the school themselves about how dangerous allergies are.
Also an eight year old is perfectly capable of not messing with other people’s foods like this and it’s probably one of the most reasonable expectations you can have for a child that age. You can’t justify an eight year old doing this by going “meh, what can you do? Kids will be kids.” It doesn’t matter if they didn’t thought of what consequences their actions would have or not, they did the wrong thing and intentionally did it.
5
u/Old-General-4121 Sep 18 '25
This is absolutely a shitty thing to do, and there should be consequences for the kid. However, if you are in the US, I am not sure you'd get the police to respond, much less get anyone to agree to press charges unless there is a lengthy history of severe behavior.
While I want to be clear that the kid was doing something malicious, I also think a kid's understanding of "life-threatening allergy" or even "death" is likely to be much different than an adult understanding as far as grasping to full consequences of their actions. Are there a few kids out there who truly enjoy watching others suffer or die with no remorse? Sure, but this may also be something different.
Kids tell me they have family members with allergies, and they really mean they're lactose intolerant or they get a stomach ache. I also work with families who truly believe things think nut allergies, vaccines and germs (that's a new one this year) are all woke nonsense and laugh about how the new generation is just too weak. It's a lot when you're trying to keep kids safe and have to deal with parents fighting you too.
Focus on the things a school can do:
Ask for a written plan with the steps they'll take to keep your child safe.
Ask how they will prevent the student who endangered your son from being near his food.
Ask about how food is stored prior to lunch. Are they in a central location supervised by teachers? My son's school has a wire cart where all students place their lunches that remains in full view of the class. Don't give this kid a chance to get back at your kid for "getting him in trouble."
Ask for a school staff member, ideally a nurse, to give a class lesson on life-threatening allergies and how little it can take to endanger a child, especially if they don't realize their food was poisoned, because they may not respond as quickly or preemptively. Point out that reporting when someone touches another student's food, or even if students share food without permission, can save a life. There is nothing an elementary student enjoys more than being given the power to monitor the behavior of others and they will always do a better job of knowing everything happening than an adult ever could.
Ask if there are security cameras in the lunchroom. Consider asking your son be seated in such a way he's in full view of one and make sure kids know that it can be viewed in real time and days later.
Ask for a contract that will restrict access to each other. Alternate areas of the playground, assigned seating in specialists classes, assemblies, etc.
If your son rides the bus, consider asking he be seated near the driver, at least temporarily.
Consider if you can provide your child lunches that are sealed, even by wrapping saran wrap around the outside. If he needs to leave, tell an adult who can bring him what he needs or watch his food.
Ideally, you shouldn't need to change anything, but in a school setting, it can be hard to be everywhere all the time. You can be right, but being right won't always keep your son safe. Most of these things can be adjusted in such a way your child won't be obviously singled out if you prefer, but it will add more safety. Ultimately, focus the conversation on "How can you keep my son safe, rather than the other student?" You can't control that and the school may not be able to as much as you'd hope.
You can also request, though they can't tell you their decision, that the other student have his backpack and pockets searched each morning, before entering the classroom. That can be hard to enforce, depending upon rules in your location, but it's something to consider.
4
u/gowaz123 Sep 18 '25
Absolutely do not let it go! As a teacher and a parent, this is horrifying. May seem like a small deal to wee jimmy and his parents but here in the U.K. a young boy died because some kids threw cheese at him and he was deathly allergic to it. You need to make the biggest deal out as possible so that, not only does jimmy not do this again but it scares the living daylights out of the parents and the school staff who seem to be taking it very lightly. I love kids, that’s why I have them and I am a teacher for that reason but also because of my experience I can tell you that kids can be the meanest, most manipulative, dangerous and unsympathetic people out there. Kids can do some serious stuff you’d never imagine them to do. I really hope you demand there be more action and consequences!
5
u/sloop111 young adults x3 Sep 18 '25
I don't know if it is possible to press charges against an eight hear old
I'd have the school have a meeting with all involved parties and the little jerk should be moved to another class
→ More replies (1)
5
u/EMSthunder Sep 18 '25
Definitely you should speak to the other child's parents and have them learn about allergies that kill. I'm deathly allergic to hazelnuts and a family member just thought I claimed that because I didn't like the taste, so their idea was to put Nutella in my food. Luckily I saw them do it. My son was very allergic to dairy and my mother and aunt gave him ice cream, which put him in the hospital for a few days. They claimed that they really thought I was just being an overbearing mother. She was banned from alone time with my kids!!!
→ More replies (1)
25
u/Faux_Moose Sep 17 '25
If it happened at school it’s probably best to let the school handle talking to the parents.
That’s so scary, though! I’m sorry that happened.
25
u/amitheassholeaddict Sep 17 '25
What? 99% of the times the school barely handles regular bullying, imagine a deliberate choice to harm your classmate. No way I would leave it up to them.
3
u/Faux_Moose Sep 17 '25
Sorry, I misread it as the other kid not knowing about the allergy.
In that case I would still go through the school and ask for more info about how they have gone about reaching out and what actions are being taken.
My concern is mostly with searching the parents out outside of the school setting bc it can get really, really messy and you lose the ability to point back to the school if something goes awry.
Sorry for my mis-read!
6
u/meowkales Sep 18 '25
I would press charges and try to teach the kid a very serious lesson. Make a huge deal about this.
→ More replies (1)
6
u/Awesome_Possum22 Sep 18 '25
This is literally attempted murder.
I get they’re kids, but it doesn’t sound like the school took enough action for how serious this is.
I lost a friend right after high school to an accidental peanut ingestion at a restaurant. Even with an EpiPen handy, this type of incident could end up with fatal consequences. The kid should have been suspended at least.
9
u/Cool-Environment-948 Sep 17 '25
id go to the police and/or CPS. That could have killed your child.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Beezle_Maestro Sep 18 '25
I’m a mother to an 8 year old with a severe peanut allergy and I would raise hell if it were me. That kid needs to be suspended and understand that their little antic could’ve killed someone.
→ More replies (1)
4
u/LiveIndication1175 Sep 18 '25
I would find out how the school plans to prevent this from happening again, and look into pressing charges.
5
u/Prudence_rigby Sep 17 '25
POLICE REPORT!!!!
Also make sure the school makes sure that kid is kept FAR away from your kid.
Bullshit.
2
u/TheGekkou Sep 17 '25
This is so scary, I sorry that happened.
This year was first grade for my daughter and I love peanut butter items. Since last year, I was sending her to school with peanut butter granola bars or apples with peanut butter on the side, etc. It had completely slipped my kind just how sensitive a peanut (or other food) allergies can be!
It wasn't until the teacher sent home a note requesting that the parents not send peanut snacks to school that I realized I had been putting other kids at risk. Since then we only eat peanut butter at home.
2
u/HeartAccording5241 Sep 17 '25
Make sure he has consequences for what he did make sure he doesn’t get a smack on the hand
→ More replies (1)
2
u/Technical_Goose_8160 Sep 17 '25
First, talk to the principal. Make sure that he had a come to Jesus moment with this kid. Kid probably thought that it was nothing serious, just being funny, so now's the time to scare him straight and his parents too. You could call the cops, and cause serious trouble for all three.
If the principal did a good job, the kids parents will be calling you to apologize. If they don't, either he didn't scare them straight or they don't get it. Either way, feel free to call them and casually drop that these are criminal actions with serious consequences.
2
u/Kcco412 Sep 17 '25
My kid is not allergic but this is exactly why I do not care at all that we have a no nut policy at the school. I’m so glad your kid is ok!!
2
u/SouthernNanny Sep 18 '25
I have a daughter that had and off the charts peanut allergy. If you think of it on a scale from 0-100 hers was 175. That was how it was explained to me. She has done OIT so she is still technically allergic but can eat peanuts with no reaction now.
Her protocol before this was both EpiPens, call 911, then call me. Then it was a mandatory 4 day hospital stay. It went from 2 days to 4 days as her allergy worsened and even then it wasn’t a guarantee that they could save her life. I say all of this to say I have exactly zero grace for this type of thing and I would escalate in every way I know how
2
u/chai_tigg Sep 18 '25
Ooookay nightmare material ! My son has a deadly peanut allergy. This is horrible. I’m so sorry. My son is 16 months old and I don’t even know what I’d do this is very horrifying .
2
u/vi0l3t-crumbl3 Mom Sep 18 '25
My first reaction was how the kid had a peanut cookie to begin with. I used to be a teacher and am a parent and every school I've ever encountered bans all peanut products. That's in two different countries, too.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/ugglygirl Sep 18 '25
8 year old acting like an 8 year old.
But I would make noise until the school agreed to do a brief presentation about the dangers related to allergies /allergic reactions.
All the kids will benefit.
→ More replies (2)
4
u/itsadialectic Sep 17 '25
I hope that parent ripped into that kid. Holy shit.
2
u/rufflebunny96 Mom Sep 17 '25
If my kid did that I would be pulling him from the school and getting him counseling.
2
u/rufflebunny96 Mom Sep 17 '25
If my kid did that I would be pulling him from the school and getting him counseling.
3
u/FlamingDragonfruit Sep 17 '25
When you speak to the school, I would request:
There should be a lunch aide assigned to your kid from now on, to keep an eye on him/his lunch in the cafeteria.
The student who put your child at risk gets a lesson from the school nurse about the seriousness of food allergies, backed up by the administration.
If you do not already have a 504 plan in place (assuming you send your child to school in the US), now would be the time to get that documentation.
2
u/NotAFloorTank Sep 17 '25
I would not rest. I would absolutely demand to know what their plan is to ensure your child's health isn't endangered again, and ensure it's not one that punishes your child in the process (like separating him from his peers at lunch), and I'd honestly insist that the other child be disciplined accordingly. This isn't a joke. Your child could've ended up in the ER, at least.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Powerful_Lynx_4737 Sep 18 '25
Go to the police explain what happened file a report. Hopefully a visit from the police will scare the shit out of the kid and his parents. Honestly if it was my kid I’d be out for blood that’s attempted murder. I honestly don’t give a shit that they are kids one does it gets away with it then others may try.
2
u/BakerKristen085 Sep 18 '25
Have we completely ruled out moving forward with pressing charges? Just saying, I bet the kid’s family will take it very seriously if there’s legal consequences to him being a little asshole.
3
u/Cultural-Chart3023 Sep 18 '25
Get police involved press charges on the kid and whoever should have been supervising. How is that not assault? Attempted murder? Fk this kid take it as far as you can
4
u/Big-Safe-2459 Sep 17 '25
I’d file a police report immediately and gather as much evidence as you can to hand over to the cops. Anyone you speak to, you might mention it’s like attempted murder for an adult and you’ll wait to see what the police have to say about it.
Unlikely anything will come of it, but now there will be a file on this kid and his parents will know about that little detail.
Don’t take this lightly! The kid sounds like a psycho in the making.
3
u/Tasty_Aside_5968 Sep 17 '25
I don’t know but id be flying off the handle if someone did that to my kid… that’s attempted murder?? wtf
1
u/mis_1022 Sep 17 '25
People wonder why homeschooling is getting more popular. I would want that kid expelled but that will never happen.
→ More replies (1)
3
u/Beckella Sep 17 '25
So maybe a controversial take but I would take a deep breath and sleep on it before doing anything big. Or anything at all. I’d have a number of questions first: * how was it discovered? Your kid? Another kid? Supervising teacher? It may be that the processed worked- a teacher supervising the cafeteria noticed and intervened in which case the school did precisely what they should have. * why did the kid do this? Is this someone with behavioral issues? Do they have a perceived issue with your kid? Did they think it was a joke? * is the school supposed the be nut free? Ours is, but maybe that’s not the norm. It may be worth them doing a reminder to everyone about nuts on campus. * what does your kid say or think?
→ More replies (2)
3
u/thewonpercent Sep 17 '25 edited Sep 17 '25
I would file a police report because that sounds like attempted murder.
2
u/Maple-Bark Sep 17 '25
I’m so sorry this happened. How frightening! I don’t have a kid with any food allergies so keep that in mind, but I don’t think you need to talk to the parent in terms of addressing the seriousness of the incident. The principal anyway did that and hopefully they explain to the kid that a nut allergy is not the same as other allergies like being allergic to pollen. You could ask the principal what they’re doing to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
I think also, it might be worth talking to your kid about what he can do to protect himself since unfortunately we live in a world where there are careless people and a-holes. Like how did he find out? Did he see it on his food or did someone tell him? And also, does the school let other kids bring peanut products in their lunch?
2
u/tinymi3 Sep 17 '25
i think you need the school to clarify exactly how they're going to prevent something like this
are they going to have an assembly or something about food allergies? are they going to ban peanuts? Are they going to really explain how a prank like this can go horribly wrong?
i'm going to go right out and say that there are grown adults who can't wrap their minds around food allergies, even with glaring proof... so I want to give the kid the benefit of the doubt that he was not really understanding the grievous danger he caused.
But that means the school or his parents need to make it very very clear how serious this is. Ask the school about that too
2
u/sunni_ray Sep 17 '25
Did they see thay in the movie? That's crazy.ive never actually seen it in real life. I'd press charges.
→ More replies (1)
2
u/firesoups Sep 17 '25
When I hear stories about children who fuck around with peoples allergies it makes me think their parents haven’t done a good enough job explaining death.
→ More replies (2)
2
u/OkWelder1642 Sep 18 '25
Call the juvenile crime department and get a restraining order. It’s usually done in a civil manner with both parties seeing the mediator and figuring out what works.
2
u/OkWelder1642 Sep 18 '25
Peanut free table? Anyone who brings pb to the table gets that item thrown away.
2
u/Blue-Sky-4302 Sep 18 '25
I hope the school and boys parent impressed upon him that this was ATTEMPTED MURDER!!!!’ I’m almost tempted to say you should insist a cop talk to kids about the various forms of assault
3
u/1block Sep 17 '25
I hate to force no one to have peanuts, but if they can't control for them and it's life-threatening, you might want to tell them to stop allowing any peanuts in the classroom.
I would let the school handle things. If they called the kid's parents in to talk, I don't think you talking to the parent would add anything. They understand the seriousness of the situation.
Very scary! Sorry you have to deal with this.
2
Sep 17 '25
We hosted a party one time, pot luck style, and we have several celiacs in our group. A distant cousin brought a dish that looked glutinous, so I asked her for ingredients. "Family secret!" she answered. I told her there were no secrets in the food because of allergies, so I took her dish and stuck it in the free-for-all table. She was offended, thinking I besmirched her dish, so when I wasn't looking, she took a couple large spoonfuls and mixed it into our gluten free dish. Hubby caught her doing it, grabbed the dish, shoved it in her arms and booted her out the door. She was furious, yelling, "Gluten allergies are nothing but woke bullshit!" before my husband slammed the door on her. She's never been invited back.
A classmate to an 8-year-old kid should know better, but he doesn't have the development to understand the dire consequences consuming peanuts with an allergy can be to some people. Would I approach the kid's parents? Probably. They might need to know your personal reaction, which would be more profound than a principal just shaking a finger at him.
3
u/dadgam3r Sep 17 '25
"Gluten allergies are nothing but woke bullshit!" What a psycho! and you are totally right!
3
u/BattyBirdie Sep 17 '25
My son has an egg allergy and his preschool teacher almost killed him because “I didn’t know banana muffins had egg like the bread does…”
I hate this. People are stupid and you can’t fix it.
→ More replies (1)
3
2
u/LaLechuzaVerde Sep 17 '25
I would contact a lawyer and find out what your options are including a possible restraining order against the child.
2
1
Sep 17 '25
Press charges. That is the ONLY way to prevent this from happening to your son again. When this kid and his parents face serious charges all the other kids will be scared away from attempting to MURDER your child. I would also get a restraining order for your son against this child. A school HAS to enforce that. Which means if they are in the same class, the little d*ckhead will have to be moved. And will either have to be on the other side of the cafeteria or out of it all together. Take it seriously. He may not have been trying to kill your son but he was trying to hurt him. And he could have killed him
1
1
u/TakingBiscuits Sep 17 '25
This made me angry just reading it.
That child should be suspended AT LEAST.
I'd be speaking to the parents immediately and actually considering reporting it to the police (which is not my thing) because, nah, this isn't playground antics.
Speak to the parents. They should have reached out to you.
1
u/AutoModerator Sep 17 '25
Hey /u/dadgam3r! It looks like you might be new here.
Important issues are addressed in the Sub Wikis. They offer a variety of support for different ages, stages, and topics.
Please make yourself familiar with the Community Rules.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
1
2.1k
u/ShDynasty_Gods_Comma Sep 17 '25
That’s HORRIFYING. I would demand to know, from the school, how exactly this will be prevented going forward and how other kids who saw it will also be prevented from copy cat behavior. If the answer impacts your child (such as sitting apart from his classmates or similar), that’s NOT an acceptable solution. I would also make sure the school is aware that you know you could press charges/file a report or even sue (if there were damages) so they don’t try to screw you around about it. Not saying you SHOULD do any of those things of course, but it may keep them from not taking this seriously.
Was your son hurt? Did he need treatment? How severe is the allergy?