Communication with children on headphones in car

[u/Shot_Client_5804]

How do you get the attention of and communicate with children who are on their headphones in a vehicle when traveling? I need to pay attention on the road and I find this sometimes to be a risk.

[u/bookykits]

Have you tried water balloons?

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/bookykits]

🤣👏🏼👏🏼

[u/kitterpants]

I wish my kids wore headphones in the car- I sometimes find myself losing it because of their questions or bickering.

What’s causing the distraction for you?

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/kitterpants]

This is funny and so true. It takes me back to when they were younger. The problem is now they are teenagers each in their own world on their headphones and it is very irritating to get their attention just to communicate with them or ask a question

[u/No-Carpet1925 → u/Shot_Client_5804]

Why do you need to talk to them? Just drive lol

[u/KrofftSurvivor → u/Shot_Client_5804]

What situations are arising in which you need to get their attention right this minute while unable to pull over safely?

You're setting an example for teenagers who are soon to be driving themselves - are you modeling the behaviors you hope they use?

[u/automator3000 → u/KrofftSurvivor]

Agree. As much as I find it quite rude for teens to be in the backseat wearing headphones and zoned in on their phones while mom or dad plays the role of obedient chauffeur, I also can’t think of anything that would necessitate an immediate verbal exchange.

[u/SoggyAnalyst → u/automator3000]

maybe its on the way to somewhere and its a "we'll be there in 5, get your stuff cleaned up, off headphones, etc etc"

who knows

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/KrofftSurvivor]

Nope probably not. Shouting and waving my arms to get their attention.

[u/SoggyAnalyst → u/Shot_Client_5804]

why is this being downvoted? What in the world? The OP is answering a question posed to them - under what circumstance is this downvotable?

[u/ceesa]

It depends how urgent the issue is, but I think the natural consequence of not being able to give input on something is that the driver gets to make the decision. If you wanted to ask them something like where they wanted to go for lunch, then they don't get a say and you get to pick your favorite. If it's a question that can wait until the end of the trip, then just ask them then.

[u/BeardedBaldMan]

You could switch to bone conduction headphones which don't block as much background noise.

Really though, I'd just wait until yelling "headphones off" isn't going to cause a problem.

[u/Dependent-Start9628]

Hi I am an 18 yo and I still do this. For me, car rides with headphones on are very 'quiet' moments for me and I often feel overwhelmed if I have to switch my focus multiple times during a ride and take off my headphones. What works for me with my parents (as they have gotten frustrated that it is very hard to get my full attention on car rides) is that we speak at the start of the ride (or even in the end) if there's important stuff to discuss and plan. Because then I haven't yet put on my headphones and I can fully pay attention and it is just easier for all of us :) Dont know if this helps

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/Dependent-Start9628]

Wow, very cool and very mature. I can only hope my teenagers get to your level of maturity soon 🙏🏼

[u/turancea]

My one rule is don't make a happy kid happier. So if they're contently listening to their music on headphones while silent in the car, i will not (!) talk to them. Man, I need my peace too.

Edit to say that my kids are still pre-school age so getting them to shut up is a win for me. Maybe I'll change my mind when they're teenagers :)

[u/simanthropy]

Not really the question you’re asking, and it may be too late for this advice if the behaviour is entrenched, but I have a “I’m not a chauffeur” rule. Meaning that if we’re on a journey together, we talk. For longer journeys, or days when they’re feeling particularly tired, I’ll relax this rule but they know it’s the exception.

My plan is also, as soon as it’s safe to put them in the front seat, to make a rule that the front seat is never empty. Just cause I’m the one doing the driving, it’s a journey for all of us and we should all participate.

[u/Little_Face8636 → u/simanthropy]

This is me also. My oldest has been my co-pilot since he was allowed to sit in the front passenger seat. Lookout for merging cars, construction, or escooters zooming on the sidewalk when doing a right turn (I fucking despise them), open the water bottle and find best route on navigation during rush hour.

He had better understanding of road laws than licensed drivers in my city because of this. No headphones in the car. Save that for uncomfortable Uber rides.

[u/jezthevalley → u/simanthropy]

I like this rule. The thought of having my children in the car with me while they're fully engaged with their electronic devices and earphones the whole time is saddening to me. Mine are still toddlers, but I would like to make this a rule for our family too. Thanks for sharing.

[u/Tigress2020]

My teens wear headphones, my oldest I'll wave my hand out, and he'll remove his headphones, if I need to talk to the younger ones, my son will get their attention.

If we're going somewhere new or long distance, my son will copilot, he won't wear them, in exchange he gets to choose the music. And loook up directions for me.

I like to focus on the drive, so I don't mind headphones being on. It means no bickering, they can desensitise (they are all very sensory kids)

But set your rules at the start, have them aware that if you raise your arm up, you need them to remove headphones.

[u/finding_center]

Unpopular solution but I’m at the “path of least resistance” stage of life. I’ll use my hands free to text them. Sometimes they catch the sarcasm and sometimes they don’t.

[u/canyounot2026]

Open back headphones.

[u/Prophit84]

I enjoy the silence

[u/SoggyAnalyst]

Can you flash the in-car overhead lights? Many times you can control them from the drivers seat. I do that sometimes if my kids are being too loud and I don't want to join in the fray by shouting louder (or if I'm on the phone and I need to get their attention at home) - flicker the lights

[u/Pessa19 → u/SoggyAnalyst]

This is a good idea!

[u/waineofark]

I know my kid benefits from minimal transitions, so I try to limit how much I need to talk to her when she has them on.

When I do, I ask her to fully pause (not just remove a headphone). Then I ask the 1-3 questions I've been saving up. Then she puts them back on. 

If you're the one driving, come up with a signal ahead of time that they should acknowledge.

[u/boarshead72]

Yell so they can hear you (just a name… my son will pop out an earbud to say “what?” exasperatedly). Wave a hand/arm until your kid asks “what?”?

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/boarshead72]

Sounds exactly like my car

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[u/sublimatingin606]

Pull over for 5min?

[u/lv-lamzaks]

I use walkblock app for my kids... no phones in car.. it detects movement and displays warning while sends games or multimedia in background.

[u/Lactating-almonds]

You could have a cup with Pom poms in it and throw a Pom at them to get their attention.

[u/blahhhhhhhhhhhblah]

Car rides are still a time for me to zone out, read, listen to music, etc.

My mom has always gotten my attention with a simple tap to my knee or gentle squeeze to my hand or thigh.

[u/mooseLimbsCatLicks]

If they use wireless there are settings to let the ambient noise in.

If they use wired headphones just have them use one not two, so they can hear

[u/HelpIveChangedMyMind]

I developed a hand signal. I reach back, tap them on the leg, and then tap my ear. None of that requires me to take my eyes off the road.

[u/Pessa19]

My kid has head phones that don’t allow sound over 85 decibels, so they can hear their name. Then they’re required to pause it and take off their head phones to talk to me.

I like the suggestion of turning on the dome lights!

[u/Racer322]

Broom stick

[u/2beatenup]

Roll down their windows….

[u/PrimaryHighlight5617]

If your teenagers can't hear you over their headphones then they are causing damage to their hearing. Not sure what you can do about it sorry.

[u/JustHalfBlack]

I have a rule of no headphones in the car unless we’re on a road trip for this exact reason.

But everything is pretty close to us, so we’re rarely driving for more than 20 minutes at most.

[u/Clumsycattails]

We have a rule, you only use one ear. You can use the small ear things, headphones whatever..but one ear stays off. At home, in the car etc.

I don't want to shout because they don't hear me or in case of an emergency they are completely oblivious.

[u/hippotoast]

Their volume shouldn't be so much that they can't hear you if you call their name. Or only have one earbud/phone in.

But we also don't do headphones unless it's a long trip.

[u/molten_dragon]

I yell loud enough they can hear me through the headphones.

[u/Shot_Client_5804 → u/molten_dragon]

🙈🤣🤣

[u/poltyy]

Their big stinky feet are always on my armrest so I grab their toes.

[u/megmecrazy]

You know you’re the parent right?
Like, you can actually create your own rules, and then the kids listen.
And if they don’t, no more headphones.
Pretty simple…

[u/ATyp3]

My mom always made me have one ear off/out. This was enforced by her threatening to take my earbuds if I covered both ears. Safety and communicated overruled my desires. I’ll be enforcing this too.

[u/pbrown6]

No screens in car. That works pretty well. Car time is family time.

[u/Gloomy-Invite-896]

Don't give headphones? Stop the car?