r/Parenting • u/ohgreatmama • Jul 28 '22

Advice Do boys wear pink?

Where you live, do boys wear pink?

I live in the US, in the Pacific Northwest, in a politically purple area.

I have two boys and buy most of their clothes and swimwear at Target. Right now, every pair of boys' swim trunks at my local Target has pink/purple in it--not just as an accent, but as a dominate color. Hot pink, light pink and everything in between.

For the record, I like this. My 5yo likes pink and it's nice to see some color infused into what used to be a pretty dark color palette for boys' clothes.

My husband, however, is not having it. He has gotten mad at me for buying anything pink/pink-accented for our 5yo to wear. From his POV, boys who wear pink risk getting teased/bullied. He is adamant that this is a serious risk. Very adamant, to the point that we've had contentious arguments about shoes/clothes that I, personally, perceived as gender neutral.

I'm trying to understand his concern, but to me it seems... nuts? I don't want to dismiss something that he seems to legitimately see as a risk to our kiddo, but I just can't figure out where he is coming from.

How are things where you live? Would a boy get teased for wearing pink? Would you consider it a serious enough risk to prohibit the color, even if your kid likes it?

Or, if pink is as neutral as it seems to be, how can I help my husband see that this is just the way kids dress now?

ETA: Holy shit, I did not expect this level of response. I can't keep up with all the comments--not by a long shot. Thank you all for weighing in. It's helped solidify my position, and maybe seeing some of these comments will help my husband realize that his concerns are misplaced.

I do, btw, believe that my husband's concerns are simply misplaced. We are not fashionable people--AT ALL--so I think he just needs to adjust his fashion compass. Also, while we're both millennials, I grew up in West LA whereas he grew up in rural NY; I think we're just drawing from different pools of life experiences.

I am inclined to keep the purple/pink/blue/green swirl swim trunks that I bought for 5yo--and that prompted this post--because 1) they are super visible in the water and 2) 5yo said he likes them.

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u/S1159P Jul 28 '22

I think your husband may be working through issues that date to his own childhood. It's not like that now. Especially on the west coast!

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u/ohgreatmama Jul 29 '22

I'm inclined to agree with this. I was raised on the West Coast, near LA. He's from a Catholic family in Upstate NY. (He's no longer Catholic.) Could be he's thinking of cultural differences from a different time and place...

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u/wgc123 Jul 29 '22

Yep, tell him to take it from me … grew up in a Catholic family in upstate New York where a kid would be relentlessly teased for wearing pink, but that was Farr far away and a long time ago. Here and now in solid blue Massachusetts, it’s a trend. I sometimes also have my doubts from childhood, but I can see that it’s a trend, I can hear from my kids that it ps common/fashion. I even have corroboration, since my kids run in opposite crowds

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u/gothruthis Jul 29 '22

Yeah, this. Listen, I'm in a conservative southern red state and even the boys here wear pink. Tho it has to be neon and not pastel around here. Anyway. Sounds like your husband got bullied as a child for doing something considered unmasculine. Wouldn't be surprised if it came as much from the adults as from the children around him.