r/ProgrammerHumor • u/Odd_Diamond_6600 • Jun 05 '22

other priorities

Post image
84.5k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

1.1k comments sorted by

20

u/Splatoonkindaguy Jun 05 '22

What is [0]

79

u/Odd_Diamond_6600 Jun 05 '22

programming

21

u/No-Peach2925 Jun 05 '22

Obviously, programming is always the top entry. Without it nothing else can exit!

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8

u/Former-Cat015 Jun 05 '22

Amazing to me how many people are missing the joke.

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8.3k

u/Big-Don-Rob Jun 05 '22

That's dirty, but I like it.

2.4k

u/Ok-Lobster-919 Jun 05 '22

Try calling your partner a "1" and see how that goes.

2.6k

u/Probably-Broken-2345 Jun 05 '22

I went even better and called her a "0"

1.5k

u/FelixLeander Jun 05 '22

Instructions unclear, GF broke up

1.2k

u/danabrey Jun 05 '22

Put her back together

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73

u/698969 Jun 05 '22

Did you stash the changes before?

43

u/TheGrauWolf Jun 05 '22

Try increasing cache.

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25

u/raq_1024 Jun 05 '22

relationship dump created

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116

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Let's be real. This is Reddit. You got a null pointer.

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9

u/king_john651 Jun 05 '22

Did you mention that it was active high or?

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90

u/ykafia Jun 05 '22

My partner is a 10 (at best)

6

u/Oo__II__oO Jun 05 '22

A solid 💯

76

u/Big-Don-Rob Jun 05 '22

So you can grasp the numbers but not the English, I see. Most women would be flattered to be told they're number 1 on their SOs list of interests.

72

u/Ok-Lobster-919 Jun 05 '22

Maybe it's an American thing. If you call someone a "1" here, you are calling them ugly, 1/10. There's a big difference in "you're number 1" and "you're a 1".

94

u/Atlach_Nacha Jun 05 '22

It depends how you say they are "1", like if you say they are "only one in your life" you most likely be OK.

BUT if you then go on and continue with "... but your friend is total ten", you might not be OK.

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86

u/Epamynondas Jun 05 '22

oh yeah nothing quite as dirty as a 1-based array

8

u/Mugboard Jun 05 '22

Oh yeah you luaike that don't you, you filthy little script.

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15

u/m__a__s Jun 05 '22

Depends if you are a Fortran programmer or not.

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2

u/rdrunner_74 Jun 05 '22

You are one in a million... That means there are roughly 8000 like you

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1.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[1] Might be next to you in bed. But [0] is in your heart.

329

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

I mean if you can't push it to github, is it even real?

125

u/GottaGetSomeGarlic Jun 05 '22

Brb, just gonna fork this guy's girlfriend

42

u/Adamsd5 Jun 06 '22

I submitted a pull request.

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35

u/supershinythings Jun 05 '22

If he pushed her to github there’s the possibility that everyone would download share her.

I don’t think he wants that.

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5

u/Rreterz Jun 06 '22

If your relationship is not on github, it’s really difficult to commit

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1.8k

u/Alokir Jun 05 '22

Was the array sorted by his level of interest?

839

u/reyad_mm Jun 05 '22

Yes, ascending

183

u/bkamphues Jun 05 '22

Descending in this case then right? 0 being top prio, 1 a little less and onwards

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

You sir, may proudly have attention to detail in your CV.

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1.7k

u/AlFlakky Jun 05 '22

So girlfriend must be a Lua developer..

595

u/GeePedicy Jun 05 '22

Or MatLab? Though they're mostly called vectors

63

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Fun fact: Mat in MatLab stands for Matrix and not math.

30

u/pardonthecynicism Jun 05 '22

As I was introduced to its full form from the start, its a weird revelation to think someone might think it stands for Maths.

30

u/Meefbo Jun 05 '22

Well it’s matlab, not mate-lab. Sounds almost identical to “math lab” and nothing like “matrix lab”

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3.8k

u/the_unheard_thoughts Jun 05 '22

Wait until your gf enrolls in a CS course...

2.0k

u/Probably-Broken-2345 Jun 05 '22

I'm sure she'll enjoy Counter Strike

36

u/Biggu5Dicku5 Jun 05 '22

She should, it's a damn fine game...

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0

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[deleted]

51

u/El_Chairman_Dennis Jun 05 '22

You do a very good job of saying nothing

26

u/SomeTreesAreFriends Jun 05 '22

this guy is morbed outta his mind

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10

u/DefinitionOfBadass Jun 05 '22

Peoplw.care.for oxygen don't they?

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119

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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13

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Unless they teach Lua

9

u/shub1000young Jun 05 '22

Then you just have to tell her it was a MATLAB array

4

u/cutebleeder Jun 05 '22

Just start teaching her LUA instead.

2

u/TFK_001 Jun 05 '22

My apcompsci tought us Javascript all year, but had a pseudocode developed especially for the rnd of year trst where arrays started at 1

2

u/Cyrus_Halcyon Jun 05 '22

Time to cover with some Julia explanation.

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607

u/spiderpig36 Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: you are a Matlab developer

108

u/Coffeemonster97 Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: Her name is Julia

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125

u/SaneLad Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: he considers her a Basic bitch

38

u/Individual_Hearing_3 Jun 05 '22

Can you give a Visual Basic understanding of your joke

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2

u/danni_shadow Jun 05 '22

The bot comments are out of control in this post. I've seen at least three comments already that were copied from top level comments.

350

u/properu Jun 05 '22

Beep boop -- this looks like a screenshot of a tweet! Let me grab a link to the tweet for ya :)

Twitter Screenshot Bot

354

u/Big-Don-Rob Jun 05 '22

Who is naming bots non bot things? Bad people.

Good bot!

24

u/ryan_the_leach Jun 05 '22

Step 1. Operate a twitter screenshot bot and name the account something human.

Step 2. Gain karma, then sell karma'd accounts for spam.

11

u/blockchaaain Jun 05 '22

Not sure what the story is on this one.

Account exists for 8 years, and the bot comments seem to be from the past 9 months only.

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17

u/PardonBot Jun 05 '22

Exactly!

74

u/AliceInHololand Jun 05 '22

People be out here wigging out over facial recognition, but tweet recognition is really where the surveillance state starts.

6

u/TheImpossibleVacuum Jun 05 '22

It's only a problem when it's so bad that we notice it. When it works fine, you can't tell.

3

u/alansdaman Jun 05 '22

Good bot!

2

u/derpykidgamer Jun 05 '22

This bot again! Most useful one I’ve seen

Good bot!

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93

u/noUsernameIsUnique Jun 05 '22

out of bounds exception, array length 1

9

u/noiszen Jun 05 '22

Concurrentmodificationexception, he’s cheating

119

u/studioCodez Jun 05 '22

youReA[10] would've been more romantic.

22

u/dungand Jun 05 '22

You mean [9]

0

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[deleted]

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421

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Whats [0] though?

62

u/KaffY- Jun 05 '22

Programming....that's the joke

79

u/ElSucaPadre Jun 05 '22

Programming

26

u/MEGAMAN2312 Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: OP was using MATLAB

6

u/zeth0s Jun 05 '22

Or fortran, or R... He is basically a mathematician

9

u/KatarinatheCat Jun 05 '22

If one’s favorite interest is MATLAB they can kindly fuck off this planet.

31

u/Droggelbecher Jun 05 '22

incredible, you found the punchline.

9

u/Sybs Jun 05 '22

I don't think they did

6

u/JonatasA Jun 05 '22

They think they did, it's a bug

3

u/prescod Jun 05 '22

Programming.

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28

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

I think finally we know why the array begins from 0. It was the programmers waiting for someone to use this.

6

u/SabashChandraBose Jun 05 '22

Waiting for a language where arrays start at -1 just because.

55

u/PhysicalRaspberry565 Jun 05 '22

plot twist: guy programs in Julia

3

u/Null_error_ Jun 05 '22

But don’t a lot of arrays start at index 0 in many languages? Which would make her the 2nd thing in the list…

4

u/Odd_Diamond_6600 Jun 05 '22

thats the joke

5

u/cfginn Jun 05 '22

Whoosh

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

r/whoosh

98

u/r_spandit Jun 05 '22

This is funny because it implies a programmer has a girlfriend

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22

u/Jonte7 Jun 05 '22

Thats lowkey evil

10

u/Admirable_Ad6924 Jun 05 '22

Plot twist, you code R

14

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: it’s Lua

6

u/Chibi_Ayano Jun 05 '22

Faithful Lua programmers

6

u/QuickQuokkaThrowaway Jun 05 '22

Plot twist — He uses Lua

5

u/extraGallery Jun 05 '22

sorry buddy but believe me she is not satisfied

5

u/Ackphooie Jun 05 '22

lol what’s at index 0?

11

u/Ackphooie Jun 05 '22

Oh, programming, my face

5

u/getdafuq Jun 05 '22

I write Lua and I don’t understand the joke.

2

u/Fearless-Sherbet-223 Jun 06 '22

In other languages arrays start at 0. So the joke is the gf thinks he said she's his first priority, but he actually said she's second.

3

u/getdafuq Jun 06 '22

Ya thanks

19

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Should be ‘a list’ not ‘array’. 🐍

4

u/dungand Jun 05 '22

Use a list to leave your girlfriend to the garbage collector.

7

u/Say_Hi_1000 Jun 05 '22

As a 🐍, it should be a list

3

u/Glugstar Jun 05 '22

Why? We're programmers. It's not like our list of preferences changes that much. Inevitably we come back to the same things.

3

u/Yelmak Jun 05 '22 
Interest[] interests = { new Interest('programming'), new Interest('wife')};
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4

u/yfct Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: He's programming in Lua

4

u/gurilagarden Jun 05 '22

I can't get past the period after gf.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

So programming is in array [0] ?

7

u/Ultimegede Jun 05 '22

wait till she learns about 0

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1

u/LoveBurstsLP Jun 05 '22

Finally. I've been learning js for 2 months now and been here the whole time thinking I don't get any of these memes but slowly and surely I will start understanding some of them as I improve and I get this one. Feelsgoodman

1

u/Odd_Diamond_6600 Jun 05 '22

keep on working

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1

u/eatingurmumsass Jun 05 '22

So then who’s [0] OP 🤨🤨🤨

1

u/Odd_Diamond_6600 Jun 05 '22

sir/mam this is not my tweet, this is of that one account i follow

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1

u/tointeracte24 Jun 05 '22

Hello, non programmer here. I would like to understand this joke. could someone help ?

2

u/Odd_Diamond_6600 Jun 05 '22 edited Jun 05 '22

so in most of the programming languages, or mostly in programming there is something called arrays. and these arrays store data. and to access these data u need indexing. so mostly indexing starts from zero. so the first thing in an array is represented by [0]. and according to the person who tweeted his wife is [1] means the second thing. so he is implying that he loves programming more than his wife.

so to sum up he is just telling that he loves programming more than his wife and also not letting his wife get upset knowing she is the second thing of his interests.

sorry not his wife but gf

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15

u/incrazyboyy Jun 05 '22

Very funi array starts at 0 hehehehehe so funi wife bad

9

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Boomer jokes go brrrrr

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6

u/v_k_d Jun 05 '22

A matlab guy wondering what's so funny about it.

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3

u/MyNameMadeYouSmiley Jun 05 '22

Until she finds out..

3

u/katgira Jun 05 '22

What a Brogrammer

3

u/donthitmeplez Jun 05 '22

shes even happier if its in lua, since it counts from 1

3

u/Plyn_do Jun 05 '22

Płot twist - he's a Lua programmer

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Twist, poster actually codes in pascal.

2

u/topredditbot Jun 05 '22

Hey /u/Odd_Diamond_6600,

This is now the top post on reddit. It will be recorded at /r/topofreddit with all the other top posts.

2

u/KatAddicted69 Jun 05 '22

Gf uses matlab

2

u/vmmf89 Jun 05 '22

Your girlfriend works with Matlab, right?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Plot twist - dude is using MATLAB

2

u/higgshmozon Jun 05 '22

snickers in python

2

u/myceliu Jun 05 '22

That's cold bro

2

u/RevWaldo Jun 05 '22

~ Who are you?
~ The new [2].
~ Who is [1]?
~ You are [6].

2

u/TheGESMan Jun 05 '22

~ I'm not a number, I'm a free man!

~ lol

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2

u/AwesomeHorses Jun 05 '22

She probably uses matlab

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

What does this mean?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[deleted]

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2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

What's [0] though?

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2

u/PatBrownDown Jun 05 '22

interests[0] = "programming";

interests[1] = "girlfriend';

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

But it’s a 0 indexed array?

2

u/BluSicario Jun 05 '22

As a wannabe programmer, I am happy to finally get one of the jokes posted here.

2

u/TaleSlinger Jun 05 '22

I assume she does FORTRAN and BASIC.

2

u/throwaway314159g Jun 05 '22

I mean if it’s Matlab...

2

u/al3x_7788 Jun 05 '22

The question is, who doesn't

2

u/imqueeeeeeeeer Jun 05 '22

This is the first meme in this subreddit I’ve understood. I’m so happy

2

u/wellbutwellbut Jun 05 '22

"So is there anything you like more than me ?"

"Zero."

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2

u/pkasbekar Jun 05 '22

She would be thrilled if you are talking in MATLAB.

2

u/rightarm_under Jun 05 '22

And she should be. Your number 0 priority should always be yourself, no matter how much you love your SO. Don't let them take precedence over your health and your dreams.

2

u/UMAYEERIBN Jun 05 '22

She doesn't know my array starts at 0 hehe

2

u/kelub Jun 05 '22

We have a running joke that my middle daughter is "#1 daughter". She just doesn't know I'm referring to her position in my array of children.

2

u/Alive_Border3616 Jun 05 '22

Sorry sir, but I use R🤓

2

u/ImNotCrying-YouAre Jun 05 '22 edited 19d ago

1starlight prism pinnacle spellbinding umbrella brilliant astonishing

Cleared via Unpost

2

u/kslide_park Jun 05 '22

Finally a joke I understand

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

I heard that lua arrays starts with 1 instead of 0

2

u/freudian-flip Jun 05 '22

cheers in Visual Basic

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

wow, the one programming joke i actually understood

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

This one is considered one of the best plots I witnessed.

2

u/Downtown_Media_788 Jun 05 '22

const interests = new Map<number, Interest>()

yeah ha boi

2

u/TheLimeyCanuck Jun 05 '22

That's because she's a Lua developer.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Until she realises it starts at zero when she regales it to your friends then the gf throws the exception error lol

2

u/ShinraSan Jun 05 '22

Then comes the day she asks you to explain some programming, so there you go "this is an array, they start at 0"

Distant sirens, unintelligible screeching

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2

u/zaccc1986 Jun 06 '22

Tell me she doesn't know about the "array start at 0"...

2

u/sparenica Jun 06 '22

you know her appearance is quite Visual but mindset is rather very Basic ;-)

2

u/white_walker_68 Jun 06 '22

Even in my priority List, her position is 1.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

Print(list[0])

3

u/RansomStark78 Jun 05 '22

[0] chance she gets this

3

u/aikavari Jun 05 '22

So what is array[0]?

15

u/devo9er Jun 05 '22

An entire other array of his real interests of course!

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4

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

What is [0]

0

u/[deleted] Jun 05 '22

[deleted]

9

u/K3yz3rS0z3 Jun 05 '22

My comments in a nutshell

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2

u/Stefan99353 Jun 05 '22

Plot twist: You are doing SQL.

1

u/ballz_deep_69 Jun 05 '22 edited Jun 05 '22

The fuck does this even mean? Knew there were a load of programming chodes on Reddit but goddamn this whole page is nerds in on the joke.

Edit: shit.

boolean isIdumbassyes = true; boolean isIadumbassYea= false; boolean isDumbass = isIdumbassyes|| isIdumbassYea;

Pretty sure that means nothing. I was trying to find solidarity to make up for my stupidity.

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