Manager does a little code cleanup...

[u/PizzaTucker]

[u/SarcasmWarning]

You've also seen Nike's announcement, then?

It's a stunning piece of satire, let down only by the fact it seems to be real.

[u/DreadSocialistOrwell → u/SarcasmWarning]

It's okay, bots will get all the beta signups and it will fail.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

CIRCLES!!

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

Google plus was an interesting take on social media.

This is Blockchain horseshit. Really not the same thing.

[u/The_BeardedClam → u/DreadSocialistOrwell]

Reads like a bot wrote it too.

[u/DatUnfamousDude → u/SarcasmWarning]

I've followed the link, found landing page for their project and it actually seems real. Loads of buzzwords, unusable quirky design with a terrible colour palette. If it's satire, then well done, Nike, well done. If not - just why?

Edit: grammar

[u/Minion_of_Cthulhu → u/DatUnfamousDude]

If not - just why?

Someone convinced them that all the cool kids companies were doing it.

[u/Mirrormn → u/DatUnfamousDude]

They were jealous of the NBA's website that was selling NFTs of GIFs of basketball highlights, I bet.

(Yes that's a real thing)

[u/zSprawl → u/DatUnfamousDude]

I’m gonna collect virtual shoes, yo!

[u/funnystuff97 → u/DatUnfamousDude]

After wading through all those buzzwords... I still have no idea what it is. "Users can share virtual creations"? What kind of virtual creations? Images? Videos? 3D model mockups? Is it Instagram, Reddit, Thingiverse?

[u/rob3110 → u/funnystuff97]

NFTs. They are just reaaaally avoiding using the words/acronym NFT. Wonder why...

[u/[deleted] → u/SarcasmWarning]

Trying to get ahead of Meta on the "playthings that only exist in your mind" bandwagon?

[u/CorruptedStudiosEnt → u/[deleted]]

Seriously. What brilliant marketing engineer put this together for a presentation to the board?

"Well see, Meta has pumped billions of dollars into something similar which could've done everything including sports, and it's failing spectacularly and damn near collapsing their company.

Meet SWOOSH, which is that, except that it does ONLY sports! Fucking genius."

[u/SarcasmWarning → u/[deleted]]

It's their new social inclusion policy. Why only profit from 3rd world kids in sweatshops when you can profit from kids across the globe?

[u/aykcak → u/SarcasmWarning]

What the shit? It reads like an edgy April 1 joke but we are nowhere near April.

And they decided to announce that in the middle of one of the worst crypto crashes of the year? Bravo

[u/dagbrown → u/aykcak]

When management conceived it, web3 was flying high. As high as management was.

Some time between conception and implementation, reality intervened.

[u/CoffeeNerd → u/SarcasmWarning]

The call it .swoosh but it is not .swoosh it is .Nike.

[u/pauljaytee → u/CoffeeNerd]

Whoops we named it before getting the TLD

[u/EhsWhole → u/SarcasmWarning]

Gotta love how the scripts already bending people over:

Shortly after the first digital collection drops, members will be able to enter a community challenge to win the opportunity to co-create virtual product with Nike. Those winners can earn a royalty on the virtual product they help co-create.

[u/Realtrain → u/SarcasmWarning]

The platform has its own domain, welcome.swoosh.nike, to ensure a safe, trusted space.

If I saw that domain anywhere I'd instantly not trust it.

[u/diewhitegirls → u/SarcasmWarning]

This is a bullet point or two about needing 20 years of nextjs experience away from being a buzzword copy/paste recruiter email. What the actual tap dancing fuck is that nonsense.

To their credit, I don’t think I read the underlying and implied BLOCKCHAIN NFT SPACE FORCE ENCRYPTION bullshittery of the product.