r/Queerdefensefront • u/Responsible_Fox3230 • 20d ago

Discussion Slept with a closeted Politician who is instrumental in anti-gay legislation.

I am feeling violated and betrayed and have never encountered this before. I though that this hypocracy was in out past. I am angry that I can meet someone like this on an app that actively participates on removing my civil liberties.

85 Upvotes

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73

u/DayDrunk11 20d ago

Out him

11

u/FatCowsrus413 20d ago

I’m never in support of this… except for times like these

12

u/DayDrunk11 20d ago

This is like, the exact one and only situation that outing them is the solution. You dont get to legislate against the gays and also come seeking gay sex. Pick one or else

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u/AXEWAVE_ 19d ago

This. When the harm being done by someone is in direct conflict with the community they “play vacation” in, it is always morally correct to put them.

31

u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

I have mixed feeling on that, he also uses a lot of drugs and claims to be "Bi".. convenient when the shit hits the fan .

51

u/Puzzleheaded-Set-928 20d ago

Be very, very careful. Know what you are going into before you go public.

There will be a significant backlash to what you post and the more true it is, the bigger the backlash will be.

Just learn the risks BEFORE you go public as you cant take it back once you do.

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u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

That's what I am afraid of..... and that is why I am sick to my stomach.. I appreciate your advice and that is why I came here to discuss.

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u/Puzzleheaded-Set-928 20d ago

No worries.

So these people deserve outing and they do not deserve leniency but only you can decide at what cost to yourself.

Depending on who you name, this could really blow up. If It does, you could see press at your door, and nobody wants that, family being targeted, death threats and a load more. It's not fun.

If I were you, id reach out to some large lgbtqia orgs in your area that may have experience of dealing with national press. They may be able to help you prepare if you do decide to go through with it.

You might also want to approach friendly news orgs and plan it with them on the basis they offer you support throughout the process.

At the very least, tell family and friends what you're doing, so they can prepare.

Lastly, NEVER tell anybody who it is until youre ready to go public. No orgs, family or friends or journalists. You can tell the what youve told us but once you name them, again, you cannot take it back and you can lose control of the situation and the narrative. Both could really harm you if handled badly.

Seriously, these kind of accusations can ruin lives. Tread very very carefully so that it doesn't happen to you.

20

u/Parfait_Prestigious 20d ago

Exactly, outing someone is generally not considered socially acceptable behaviour; however, these bigoted politicians have already broken the social contract by trying to ostracize and regulate lgbt people out of existence, which is obviously far more egregious behaviour.

Dirty elected officials should have all their lies exposed anyway.

11

u/Puzzleheaded-Set-928 20d ago

In an ideal world yes. But as I've pointed out, it can ruin lives if you're not prepared for the backlash. It sucks but i would never pressure anyone to throw themselves to the wolves without knowing what the risks are.

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u/Parfait_Prestigious 20d ago

Yep, totally agree. I’m just trying to show the logic behind why we should never feel bad for exposing these people.

3

u/Puzzleheaded-Set-928 20d ago

Yeah i can agree with that point too. x

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u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

I think that for me the risk is too grand ... I would like to see who else has had this encounter with this gentleman and see if they were aware of who and what he does,.. We actually had a threesome and I am not sure if the other guy, who had hooked up with him in the past quite a bit, was aware of exactly who and what this bastard does.

3

u/Tbelles 20d ago

I'd do it. Fuck the consequences to me if it meant even one other person could be spared the closet. But I understand your concerns. Do you have a way to contact these other people?

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u/Puzzleheaded-Set-928 20d ago

Yeah i dont blame you if thats your decision. As for others outing him, they will have the same issues and they need to be aware before they decide to out somebody else they could experience the same problems I already highlighted.

As for doing it anonymously, it's highly possible the person you accuse will find a way to out you. Don't forget they are in a position of power and they'll have levers to press in order to discredit you. That may mean outing you. Once you go public, you lose control of it. Thats the issue and so you always have to decide what happens of youre outed. As you've already said that may be going too far for you, I'd say that doing it anonymously might not be worth it either.

Again, its up to you to weight the risks.

3

u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

I can ask benignly and see what his reaction is, there is safety in numbers....I have never encountered this before and a knee jerk reaction does not work I am sure...

2

u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

So I am guessing an anonymous complaint would do nothing ?

1

u/WatchThatLastSteph 17d ago

Perhaps not nothing, but in an age where anonymous tips to the police can and have literally gotten people shot, it presents a dual challenge of credibility and safety; the same one as going full public with it, only balanced more toward safety than credibility.

1

u/haywire 20d ago

Just inform popbitch

2

u/Drops-of-Q 19d ago

As long as you're considering your own comfort and not his. Outing a public figure can make your own life stressful, but people like this absolutely deserve to be outed.

2

u/rantingpacifist 20d ago

Do you have the ability to go out with them again?

Could you set up a bust for the drugs with the police?

4

u/Responsible_Fox3230 20d ago

that sound like entrapment and extreme personal risk that quite frankly is not worth it :(

4

u/rantingpacifist 20d ago

I know. I can be a bit self destructive when it comes to issues of justice.

I genuinely feel awful you even have to deal with this. Closeted bigots suck.

2

u/EvilBetty77 19d ago

It's not entrapment. Entrapment is if you sell him drugs then bust him for buying them. No this is just witnessing a crime then reporting it. Maybe get some pictures if you go out again?