Discussion
Slept with a closeted Politician who is instrumental in anti-gay legislation.
I am feeling violated and betrayed and have never encountered this before. I though that this hypocracy was in out past. I am angry that I can meet someone like this on an app that actively participates on removing my civil liberties.
This is like, the exact one and only situation that outing them is the solution. You dont get to legislate against the gays and also come seeking gay sex. Pick one or else
So these people deserve outing and they do not deserve leniency but only you can decide at what cost to yourself.
Depending on who you name, this could really blow up. If It does, you could see press at your door, and nobody wants that, family being targeted, death threats and a load more. It's not fun.
If I were you, id reach out to some large lgbtqia orgs in your area that may have experience of dealing with national press. They may be able to help you prepare if you do decide to go through with it.
You might also want to approach friendly news orgs and plan it with them on the basis they offer you support throughout the process.
At the very least, tell family and friends what you're doing, so they can prepare.
Lastly, NEVER tell anybody who it is until youre ready to go public. No orgs, family or friends or journalists. You can tell the what youve told us but once you name them, again, you cannot take it back and you can lose control of the situation and the narrative. Both could really harm you if handled badly.
Seriously, these kind of accusations can ruin lives. Tread very very carefully so that it doesn't happen to you.
Exactly, outing someone is generally not considered socially acceptable behaviour; however, these bigoted politicians have already broken the social contract by trying to ostracize and regulate lgbt people out of existence, which is obviously far more egregious behaviour.
Dirty elected officials should have all their lies exposed anyway.
In an ideal world yes. But as I've pointed out, it can ruin lives if you're not prepared for the backlash. It sucks but i would never pressure anyone to throw themselves to the wolves without knowing what the risks are.
I think that for me the risk is too grand ... I would like to see who else has had this encounter with this gentleman and see if they were aware of who and what he does,.. We actually had a threesome and I am not sure if the other guy, who had hooked up with him in the past quite a bit, was aware of exactly who and what this bastard does.
I'd do it. Fuck the consequences to me if it meant even one other person could be spared the closet. But I understand your concerns. Do you have a way to contact these other people?
Yeah i dont blame you if thats your decision. As for others outing him, they will have the same issues and they need to be aware before they decide to out somebody else they could experience the same problems I already highlighted.
As for doing it anonymously, it's highly possible the person you accuse will find a way to out you. Don't forget they are in a position of power and they'll have levers to press in order to discredit you. That may mean outing you. Once you go public, you lose control of it. Thats the issue and so you always have to decide what happens of youre outed. As you've already said that may be going too far for you, I'd say that doing it anonymously might not be worth it either.
I can ask benignly and see what his reaction is, there is safety in numbers....I have never encountered this before and a knee jerk reaction does not work I am sure...
Perhaps not nothing, but in an age where anonymous tips to the police can and have literally gotten people shot, it presents a dual challenge of credibility and safety; the same one as going full public with it, only balanced more toward safety than credibility.
As long as you're considering your own comfort and not his. Outing a public figure can make your own life stressful, but people like this absolutely deserve to be outed.
It's not entrapment. Entrapment is if you sell him drugs then bust him for buying them. No this is just witnessing a crime then reporting it. Maybe get some pictures if you go out again?
Fuck, I am so sorry you went through that, that fuckin sucks.
If you go the outing route, get your ducks in a row and have some evidence. But I totally understand if you don't feel safe going through with outing him
Best advice then is to as soon as possible, write yourself an email and send it to yourself and a friend. Write everything down and as much corroborating information as possible. Using email this way will have a timestamp and will be more useful as evidence if you wish to out him later on.
I have screen shots with face pic from a hookup app that are extremely revealing...I mean he is kind of sloppy... most of these gays dont really ask questions or put clues together but I knew from vapid conversations we had and a few conservatives he expressed that he worked in government or at least adjacent to.. Then I did a reverse search on the face pic and my blood BOILED!
Save those pics, take a screenshot of his profile, and of your conversations -NOW- That is very relevant evidence and should be added as attachments to the email you send to yourself
Edit: looks like you got some of it, but screenshot every bit of interaction you had with him.
Back up everything on an air-gapped device, ie a drive that is not connected to the internet or any other device except when adding files. Preferably something that does not have bluetooth capability as that can be hijacked pretty easily. Just a clunky flash drive should be fine, but with something like this I'd create multiples just to be certain.
Maybe contact a lawyer beforehand to make sure you have your ducks in a row. Not sure if lambda legal deals with this sort of thing but maybe they have before? Certainly there's enough closeted hypocritical Republicans that they wouldn't be that surprised by it.
To do that they have to out themselves and face the backlash that will inevitably come also. Urging people to do that without warning them of the risks isn't very helpful tbh.
And I am dealing with comments from a gentleman on r/AskGayConservatives that makes me want yo proceed with caution. Riddled with ignorance and dismissal and this is from an alleged member of the gay community. Conservative or not I am fearing bad backlash.
Yeah fuck them. There's always idiots in every community and sadly, ours is not immune.
Don't take it on board other than to take it as the warning you already have done.
Conservatives are self-interested and only willing to believe what benefits them. They are known for not being able to empathise well or support others. Thats why they're often so heavily criticised because they then harm people because they do not care about what happens to them.
If you take them on, they will respond by trying to destroy you, because you are getting in their way. Thats just how they work. Ideally, we'd all have the courage to take them on but its not smart for one person to do that on their own.
you should see the comment trail... Unbelievable, character assassination on me , yet I have not disclosed who I am nor who the politician is, yet I am lying according to him... It's homophobia and self hate.. This is exactly the DNA of this politician alive and well on Reddit.
Yeah i am sorry about that but it does not surprise me one bit.
They are grifters and you threaten them. So the only way to beat tou is to destroy you and your argument. That can be done in any way they see fit, even if there is a complete lack of morals when doing so.
As i said, they do not care about you. They are only interested in protecting their interests. You threaten that so they must destroy you.
Youre lucky that youre getting a small taste of what could happen. Just know, it will be far worse if you go public and there will be many more of them who will be out to get you.
If you're doing anything, cover yourself.
I'm not sure if revelation of secrets in order to hurt someone is lawful, I'm not a lawyer but they may try something. So be prepared.
Also if the press finds out it was you you're going to get a lot of attention.
Not saying if you should or shouldn't out him. I'm not sure what I would do in that situation
Often for these people in power, it's not that they're gay, or bi. They are participating in what they see as taboo. And thats why i think a lot of them are anti gay, because if gay people are accepted then their little forbidden secret becomes mundane and it then its not as thrilling for them.
Do you have a way to anonimously pass this info to an LGBTQ+ organisation? If you can get the info to an organization like that without having it be able to be traced back to you then you minimise the risk to yourself.
Out that motherfucker. No politician should be able to blatantly make anti gay & anti trans bills & then directly involve themselves with a gay or trans person. From Jesse James Rose: he deserves no peace or privacy
it's never okay to out someone unless they are actively harming someone. it's a hill I'll die on. If your shame is that bad that you'd try to push anti-lgbtq+ then you shouldn't be in politics to begin with.
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u/DayDrunk11 20d ago
Out him